Hi everyone. I need an outsiders perspective on what I should do… I found out about a month ago my husband was having an affair with a woman…at first he denied denied denied but after she sent me proof he admitted to some of it but not all of it. This has happened before multiple times. We have been together for ten years and he has probably cheated on me at least five times if not more… now my question is him and his family are saying to give him one more chance that he’s changing and wants to change his ways. Should I try to give it one more chance or believe that he really can’t change. I’ve heard him say I’ll change every time that I’ve caught him but he says this was his wake up call. Any advice welcome but please be kind. Thank you
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/should-i-give-my-husband-another-chance/17087
if you stay with him your stupid. flat out
Noooooo…he wasnt the one to come clean. Likely would have kept it up… just release him and yourself.
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Fuck no! Leave, he will never change. You should have left after the first time
No. Not only did he disrespect you by having an affair. He disrespected you further by lying about it. 
He’s cheated 5 times what makes you think he’s going to stop there.
Nooo time to kick him out n move on you deserve alot more
Nope don’t do it xxxx
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He’s had enough chances to change. He won’t. It’s time to go.
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He’ll never change. He may try, but that is way too many times for him to cheat. If he was going to change, it would’ve been after the first time he cheated.
It’s fine to move on
Fool me once Shame on you fool me twice shame on me. After 5 times id say no he wont change.
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The second I saw the word affair I knew your answer…Kick him to the curb with steel toe boots!!! Give him the “change” he needs!!!
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If you stay with him, he’ll take it as you giving him full permission to continue the cheating because that is how he’s seen it every subsequent time.
After the first betrayal, there is no other. He broke your trust once and it’s never been fully repaired because it never will be.
Sorry but 5 times, he isn’t changing and you will be going through this pain for the rest of your life, you deserve better
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Not what so ever … A tiger can’t change its stripes and neither can a cheater … He will always cheat …
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have some more self respect
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1 time is a mistake for or 5 times is not love he will do it again
Nope leave he will keep doing it u deserve better know your worth mama u got this
No ma’am. You have done enough. 
I would not even give him a chance, later dude, bye bye, later, he would probably rather be polymerase
Somebody get Dr. Phil on the phone for an intervention… but in all seriousness… is this how you want to live the rest of your life? You only get one
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Nope . He’s not gonna change. You’ve given him way too many chances
How many chances does it take?? I would have been gone after the first one. He has made one too many for me. He will never change. Now the balls in your court. Are you willing to except his cheating and it will continue or are you ready to find someone that loves you ??
Noooo way runnnn I was in a relationship the same way for 9 1/2 yrs they always swear they will change but they don’t you just have to say enough is enough because he will never quit he just says it now and first chance he gets he will go back to his same ways prayers for you 
He won’t stop you have caved in 5 times he knows you will continue to… give him a wake up call kick him to the curb show him you won’t be walked on like dirt under his feet be strong!!! Say what you mean…Mean what you say …
I was w/my husband 28 years 
he cheated well over 18 
they usually don’t quit:broken_heart:sorry 2 say that:broken_heart:we had a few years when I got pregnant w/ my 1st 
he was faithful 🖒bet finding out after 
left he actually did cheat during that time also:broken_heart: tried staying just cpuldnt:broken_heart:
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Hes mugging you off has no respect for you fuck him off asap
The better question is why would you want to be with someone who cheats on you?
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He is laughing inside knowing you will give in
Time to think of you sweet x you deserve better xx
Once a cheater always a cheater. Nope.
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Please leave him, he will never change, he will try hard for a bit but he shouldn’t even need to try. He should have been fairly and respectful of your relationship!
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He is a serial cheater. I would say for sure that he will continue to cheat. Personally I won’t stay with a man who cheats on me one time, let alone five. There is zero trust after that first time. I’ve had it happen. Cheating is a cowards game. It’s someone who isn’t man enough to confront you and tell you with their issues to fix them. He will never respect you or love you enough to be faithful and you will never fully trust him ever again
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Just go walk out that door ! Don’t turn around girl ! Your worth so much more ! And yes you will get it to ! Stay strong 
big girl pants on and pull them right up ! You’ve got this girl xx
5 times is 5 times too many. He doesn’t love you. If he did he wouldn’t cheat. Leopard never changes its spots. Once a cheat, always a cheat. U deserve better. Wish him well… and move on.
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In my opinion, run as fast as possible. He’s treating you like a doormat. You’ve let him repeat this too many times and he’s going to keep his same ways.
He will never stop. He knows your weakness and each time you take him back you will loose your self respect. They will never stop!! I know from experince.
He won’t charge darling but I think you know this.
You can do it you can leave even if you love him he won’t be faithful and you will always be hurt. Don’t allow him to constantly break your heart you know you deserve better xxx
Some leopards never change their spots do what your gut and or heart tells you to do
Nope the priority if yourself when will you find happiness
Please check out affair recovery. There is hope after infidelity if he is willing to put the work in to making a change.
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Once a lesson…twice shame on him. Never shame on you. You are worth so much more than what he is giving you. Walk away, dont look back. Heal, find you again xx
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You deserve better. The one that will treat you right is out there waiting for you- this one you’ve got doesn’t deserve any more chances. You’ve given plenty.
I think that once can be a mistake. But not five times.
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I know this is hard but the bottom line is that he doesn’t deserve another chance. The ultimate decision is yours. Many of us have gone through similar experiences. I built up the courage after a 12 year marriage. They don’t change. May you find your answer, strength and courage.
Move on, you deserve better.
No offence but you’ve allowed yourself to beconw a door mat
How about instead of giving him a chance give yourself a chance !! A chance to be happy to know your worth… it’s the most empowering thing ever !
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Speaking from experience and reading what you just said hes done it more than once and the fact your asking on here tells me you probably already know the answer but cos his family is telling you to stay you wanna double check you are right. You are. Your worth more than his cheating and deserve to find someone who will treat you better. Be brave and move on. It’s hard but the untrust you now have will eat you up
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He has to change on his own for himself. He cheats because in his mind he knows he can get away with it. He is insecure and thinks he needs an ego boost so he goes to the easiest person he can get it from. He’s a narcissist. If he wants to change good for him, but he can do it on his own without you. Walk away with your head high, go live your life, be happy, and dont let that loser bring you down.
If he cheated five times he’s going to keep cheating,walk away and don’t look back.
Only you no matter anyone’s advice are gonna decide when you’ve had enough. You’ll know.
I wouldn’t once a cheat always a cheat so sorry your going through this
No way. I’d kick him to the kerb any day as you deserve so much better. I truly hope you find every happiness.
You teach a man how you want to be treated. Don’t let him treat you like that. Walk away! You deserve so much better than to be an option. Once is maybe mistake. Twice is a choice. 5x ?!? Find your happiness! Good luck love
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I heard that a lot from my ex husband, better to move on because he’s not changing at all
Once a cheater always a cheater kick him to the curb just saying
Become swingers. Because if you go back must mean you get off on it
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Girl. Go on Ahead And give him another chance, people treat you the way you let them, remember that when he does it agian. There is something in him that keeps him from being satisfied w only one woman. Just know it has NOTHING to do w you. It’s HIM. he will not change. Why allow your self to only relieve a portion of the love you deserve. He is incapable of undoing what’s done. Move on. Live your life. Let him go. I speak from experience. Life is too short.
You deserve better , after 1st one he was given a chance he has chosen to have no respect for you and you deserve to be treated like a queen. Leave him and never settle for that again.
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Oh honey he’ll never change. I understand giving them one more chance after cheating the first time but if they cheat a second time oh hell fucking no it isn’t gonna work it’ll keep happening if you let it.
Not a chance in hell !!! Know your worth - kick him to the curb and find yourself someone who would never treat you with such disrespect 
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No I have been cheated on. Once a cheater always a cheater.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
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Time to say goodbye 
Another dumb question 
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Once a cheater always a cheater
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Honey, I know you love him. But I promise there is way too much love in the world to be with some one who can’t stay faithful to you!! It’s time for you to make a change and find someone who values, YOU stop giving ppl more chances to waste your time and screw up again! 9 times out of 10 they know what they are doing, they just hoped they wouldn’t get caught…
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At this point it’s really a choice, he doing it on purpose, he may love u but I think he doing tha most, tht sht is hurtful and flat out wrong…Im not gonna tell u to leave bc thts always easier said than done, but please wiegh out your options and know your worth, he on all bs💯
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Once would be enough see ya if you take him back your showing him you have no respect for yourself he will just do it again not to mention what else he’s dragging bavk to you
You’ve already given him plenty of chances. Be willing to love yourself more than him 
.
You are worthy of someone else!
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You know the saying if you’re willing to be a door mat expect to be walked over seems that your willing to do just that
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You are a idiot if you think he loves you and will change
The best advice I was given is that we get treated how we allow…even though you are not “letting” him cheat he is confident that it won’t affect his security with you, he can fall back to you when he feels like it because that’s what’s always been the case.
The wake up call will come only when you step gently out of the way this time and he falls flat on his face. Step over that mess with grace and dignity, and keep going…even if it’s inching , it’s forward girl.
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I don’t think you would be asking us if you didn’t already know what you want to do about it, maybe you just want a little encouragement or reinforcement? My thoughts? You deserve a man who would never dream of doing that grimy stuff to you the FIRST time… Most less a repeat offender!!! Regardless, I pray you make the right decision for you 
Once s cheater always a cheater it’s in their blood no way trust me
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I say 3 strikes your out is enough. But you’ve got to ask yourself about what’s best for you.
No
He will do it again and again.
He does not love you to do this he is breaking your heart and he does not care.
Love yourself and tell him to go. You deserve better!
You wouldn’t take lying from a friend so why take this from your husband who is supposed to love you.
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Walk away. It’s forever going to eat at you and you always going to wonder. You never going to have peace. Find someone who loves you and wants to be with only you, you deserve that
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He will never change and he’s proven that time and time again. At least 5 times!!! You are the east way out for him and his family. Stand your ground and say no. You deserve far better
Let that 
He’s not changing! The proof is in the pudding!
U deserve so much more than what that man dressed in tinfoil is offering! He’d still be having that affair if he wasn’t caught. He speaks through guilt!
At this point it is a character flaw and either you have to be done with him accept his cheating will be inevitable given the opportunity. Once might be a mistake more than once is a character flaw. Both are a danger to your physical and mental health. Get out imho. If you keep him around he will just know he can do it again.
My comment may not be taken well but the only person that can make your husband stop cheating is Jesus Christ
I have known people who have cheated and once thry accepted the Lord never cheated again But then again That was them have no idea about your circumstances.
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Just gonna get more blatant with it… you take him back and it will be reinforcing, to him, that this is acceptable behavior and bs will save the day… a whole Lotta disrespect towards you going on…
You are worth more… more than possible stds… more than possible jealous side chicks… youare worthy of actual love and RESPECT…
He keeps choosing to find women to cheat on you with… he keeps choosing to cheat… he keeps openly showing you that cheating is more important to him than your marriage…
His loss, you can do better 
Went through the same thing. He will not change. Ever. Get out now.
I was with my husband 20 years, he did the same thing, then he would cry and tell me he was so sorry and all that he changed. I have 2 kids with him, it will be 6 years this August I’m done with him. My kids are happier (he wasn’t a good father) I’m much happier, and moved on. It’s easy to say he’s lying and let him go, but it’s terribly hard to actually do it. Do you really want him…or are you just afraid to start over and this is easier? Answer that question to yourself honestly…then do what u gotta do. I wish you all the best and sending strength your way girl.
The fact that he’s been caught multiple times I’d say no…. Bye 2 timing ass….but as someone that has been in… fought for… and survived what many could not. I’d say it’s your choice and I as a woman that’s been there would support you! I wouldn’t give him another chance, but I’m bias, I said hell fucking NO…but I support you in your decision.
He more than likely will do it again but you and only you can make the decision on what you are able to forgive him for ? I wish you luck x
All the time you accept his behaviour he will never change . Get out while you can
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I’d walk away. If it keeps happening, it will happen again. Hold your head high, enough is enough.
Multiple times…wtf leopards don’t change their spots Bye !
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5x!? Yea nope no more chances. He will continue to do it. He ran outta chances a long time ago. U have to know u are worth so much more.
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He needs a time out…& I obviously he is caught red handed… His family knows he was stupid, & know he knows they know.
Women lead the relationship, to lead him away.
He is weak in this part of his life.
Make him date you.
Analyzed your investment, family, children, & you.
Time to think of you… He definitely owes you.
It time to stop his outings.
Ask your self this and you have your answer, "Are you happy with this last 10 years " and how things have turned out? Because the next 10 years will be the same…sorry but very true hun.Is this what you want the rest of your life dear? Your value and worth is golden, and you are smart and important, you desrve the very best happiest life possible…And you will only have to put up with what you choose to tolerate…Never settle…hold out for the best…God will bring you the right man…this one is just standing in the way.
Nah no way… ABSOLUTELY NOT… and f**k his family for supporting his shitty behaviour. None of them care about how you feel. They really don’t care about you at all. They care if his son loses you tho. Break all their hearts and walk away and wreck shit on the way out. 
Are you a glutton for punishment? He’s already proven 5 times now his word is nothing along with his morals, values ect… You can do bad all by yourself so why on earth would you stand for someone treating you and your feelings so poorly? That’s not love… He will not change so either you need to or get comfortable with this being your life for the rest of your life or kick him to the curb for good and never look back…
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I’m sorry, to say this, but someone, like him don’t change, after having so many affairs and being forgiven. He’ll keep doing it. He has no respect for you or your marriage at all. My first ex had a affair, then moved onto yet another woman whilst with us both. I thought the first affair was over, had no clue about his second one with a 17 year old, he was 29, myself 23, when I found out about the first one. Forgave him to just end up with that. He was apparently working away at the time. Which is how he got away with it. You need to do what’s best for you.
There’s some guy’s that are players or cheat on people till they find the right one. So I guess some can change. But hun, he’s been doing this to you for most your relationship. You can’t keep going through this soul destroying heartache it’ll make you ill. And if you have kid’s, it’s going to be their main example of what to expect in the future. Don’t accept anything that you wouldn’t want for them. It’s time to run and never look back for your own good and sanity.
If he’s cheated 5 times and he’s said on each time he won’t be doing it again, but persistently does! He clearly is not ready to change or respect you as his wife? Even after the 1st time he’s disrespected you and what you stand for, your vowels when marrying! You deserve so much more than a constant empty promise of him vowing to change? It’s an empty promise, only a black heart 
would do this to their partner with no conscience of their actions and what it does to impact your life and your childrens lives! You would be a better person & deserve a better life for leaving him!
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Unfortunately he sound like he’s had enough chances but ultimately its gotta be ur choice but u will never have the trust he’s destroyed more outta life
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