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"Hi everyone. I need an outsiders perspective on what I should do… I found out about a month ago my husband was having an affair with a woman…at first he denied denied denied but after she sent me proof he admitted to some of it but not all of it. This has happened before multiple times. We have been together for ten years and he has probably cheated on me at least five times if not more… now my question is him and his family are saying to give him one more chance that he’s changing and wants to change his ways. Should I try to give it one more chance or believe that he really can’t change. I’ve heard him say I’ll change every time that I’ve caught him but he says this was his wake up call. Any advice welcome but please be kind. Thank you"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Noooooo…he wasnt the one to come clean. Likely would have kept it up… just release him and yourself."
"No. Not only did he disrespect you by having an affair. He disrespected you further by lying about it. He’s cheated 5 times what makes you think he’s going to stop there."
"He’s had enough chances to change. He won’t. It’s time to go."
"He’ll never change. He may try, but that is way too many times for him to cheat. If he was going to change, it would’ve been after the first time he cheated."
"Fool me once Shame on you fool me twice shame on me. After 5 times id say no he wont change."
"The second I saw the word affair I knew your answer…Kick him to the curb with steel toe boots!!! Give him the “change” he needs!!!"
"If you stay with him, he’ll take it as you giving him full permission to continue the cheating because that is how he’s seen it every subsequent time. After the first betrayal, there is no other. He broke your trust once and it’s never been fully repaired because it never will be."
"Sorry but 5 times, he isn’t changing and you will be going through this pain for the rest of your life, you deserve better"
"Not what so ever … A tiger can’t change its stripes and neither can a cheater … He will always cheat …"
"Time to think of you sweet you deserve better"
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