My ex lost it and kicked us out because I found some proof he was attempting to cheat, and asked a friend if I could rent an extra bedroom in her house so my ex could go to independent and marriage therapy and we could try to fix it all. (I chose to leave, I’m still on the lease, but it wasn’t worth the safety risk to stay) He considered this “slander” and told me I’m not allowed to speak with anyone he knows anymore. He has a record of domestic violence, no police calls, but DHS and cps are both involved. He offered me $75/week in privately-paid child support. He’s bailed on two payments already and only pays when I ask him over and over. Come to find out; his mother informed me he’s paying $618/month to his prior ex for their son, who he sees five days a week. He hasn’t seen our daughter in a month and has only given me $150 to date. He threatened to take our daughter if I go after him for formal child support because “he doesn’t need my help to raise her”. She’s never been away from me for a single night, and he’s a hands-off father who’s very unstable and not safe. Should I go after child support? Will I even get anything if he’s already paying $618 for a different child?
IMO you need to establish custody and go after Child Support
Yep take him to court. With his violent history he won’t get her full time from you.
Yes you will get child support and he has to prove you unfit.
And to get visitation is another whole court case even make sure you have everything every document etc
You need to get full custody of your child first of all so he can’t just take your child THEN you need to get all the info agaisnt him and file restraining orders. I wouldn’t worry so much about the support than the safety of both you and your child.
Go for child support, get an order of protection that covers you and the judge can outline a temp custody agreement in that. So that way the only contact he can even have is about the child any other contact will be a violation.
File for custody and child support. And yes your daughter gets supported the same as any other children
yes go after him and get child support so that if she doesn’t pay you will always get back child support and its being totaled. the other childs support might go down to him having another. but its not your fault your just looking out for your child also
File for child support it’s not a personal move it’s business and professional. Make sure you file a motion in family court for full custody
I’d go ahead and do it. It looks better for the person that files than the defendant. So if he files it’d look bad on your part and he’d have a better chance… personal experience
Go after support! Be on the safe side.
For the benefit of your child you should have some support. Regardless, of how much he pays for another child I’m sure they’ll give his other child an amount of support too. But always put some type of retraining order on him if need to for the safety of your child. Good luck!
File for emergency custody and support. He threatened to take your child.
you need to get an attorney who will advise you of your legal rights who will look at his record get you an order of protection and help you get child support so you can have a place of your own and your child can have their own bedroom it’s only fair
Yes go after support
Child support and custody are 2 different court orders. Did they not get y’all to come to an agreement when you signed divorce papers?
Go for child support they won’t take her from you unless you’re a risk to her
Yep go for custody and support.
Do it! Go get full custody and get your child support! What he pays his ex doesn’t matter. My ex pays like 1000 a month between my daughter and his other child… Do what is necessary for your child good luck and stay safe
Yes take him to family court and child support court.
Doesn’t matter what he pays for the other child - they figure out what he need to pay using a formula.
Don’t waste anymore time. Get a lawyer. You can go through the state, too, but you first have to go to court for child support.
Absolutely!!! This is yo help your child. Good luck!!!
Document everything. Every time you talk. When he sees the child. When he pays money. I would go after formal child support. Sounds like a deadbeat
Do it! And get a restraining order! He’s threatening to take the child and that would be kidnapping if you get the courts on your side.
They ALWAYS say they’ll “privately” pay you. It never works out that way. Take him to court
Definitely I wouldn’t hestitate ! He can’t hurt you anymore than he already has! Good luck your daughter deserves it!
Yes of course go after formal support to help take care of your daughter and yes even if he’s already paying your daughter deserves help has well whether you actually ever collect it or not whatever is best for her .
Go for child support and make sure to keep a journal about anything that he says or does that proves that he is an unfit parent or mentally unstable so if he goes for custody you can show them that and also get your name off of the lease immediately because if he does anything to that house or skips payments you are liable
And he could get her 50/50. Depending on salary and who carries insurance he may not pay anything
Document everything and take him to court.
This is way too messed up for comment
If he’s bailing on child support he said he was going to pay you you need to take it to court!
Are you serious you know what you have to do why are you telling everybody you know what you have to do you’re a mom
you should absolutely go after him for child support why should the other child get all the support…and yes they will order him to pay just as much for your child…dont worry about the threats of him taking your daughter away as long as your a fit mother the courts usually always side with the mother and he sounds unstable
Nothing he pays you “privately” goes toward what the state says he owes so if he wants to be stupid, let him.
You do what you feel is right. He’s not going to take your daughter away BUT he will be entitled to visitation and a schedule to see her. You have rights and you may need a lawyer or a mediator to help set up a schedule that’s an appropriate fit since he’s not very involved,
Like Judge Judy says, to dead beat dad’s, you lay you pay. Don’t care if he has one child or 100. He is reasonable for the child. Take him to court.
Yes they might now get as much now because your asking for child support but don’t she deserve what that the other child is getting! Yes she does so go after it! He’s not going take that baby he don’t want her he’s just using it as way to still have controls over you!
I would go for child support, and also custody (family lawyer) you should be able to get a free consult. I would atleast have a custody order in place so if he ever tries to keep her from you. Were yall married?
Is his name on the birth certificate?
You wont get anywhere near that amount but you woll.get something
What he pays you privately the judge will tell him is a gift I went through this and that’s exactly what the judge told my ex! Sorry looks like you gifted her $300 because I don’t have proof and that was before you was in court!
If you file for child support do not let him take the child out for McDonald’s or anything let the court set up visitation cause he can take the child and not come back and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it until hearings, I learn my lesson well my child was kept from me for a year . If she goes to day care school be there to pick the child or dont let him know what daycare she goes too. Heads up.
You were with him. Was he paying 600$ a month for a kid he had half the time? Because that seems steep so his mom might just be making excuses. It’s nice to see you tried to work things out without the state involved but if he is not paying maybe they need to be. You gave him the chance and he failed.
Absolutely go for the support and although it may be less than he already pays you are still entitled to help for your child. I’m so sorry your going though all this.
If you are worried about the safety of your child. Go thru mediation and then to court. That way you can get set days for the dad to see his child as well as setting up child support properly (:
get support AND full custody so he can’t take the child and not return her.
Even if he were to argue in court I was paying her this n that it wouldnt be remotely close to what he will have to actually pay you. He sounds dumb af. Document everything save all call logs n texts etransfers if any etc And take that fool to court.
Go for child support. If they have to lower the other parents payments to provide your child support they will. Save yourself the headache of having to wait on him to give you money.
I’m all for going through the correct steps and system have everything logged.
If CPS and DHS are already involved because of him, then I doubt he’d get custody. But if you go for child support and full custody so he can’t do anything. Also look into getting your name off the current lease and get your own place
Make him pay for your child!
You do what your gut tells you to do for you and your child. Don’t let him intimidate you.
Child support and visitation are different things, and require different court hearings. Go after him for child support absolutely, and file for sole custody. When he does try to get visitation, make sure the court reviews his record. Does he have visitation with his previous child? That will give you a good idea on if he will get visitation awarded with your child.
In every state I’ve lived in if you file thru the state it will come directly out of his check based on when he’s paid. I know some state dhs online there is a worksheet you can fill out and get an idea on how much you’ll receive. So I would go file it would take him out of the equation of you dealing with him directly, he would now need to answer to them.
Yes ! You need the child support and he is suppose to pay you !
Go after it, you won’t get that same amount, but cutting ties from this nonsense of badgering him is worth it. He’s doing it all to control you and keep you in his orbit.
Yes go for child support he should support his child. The likely hood is the amount given to his ex will reduce in order for him to pay you both the same amount if it’s for one child each
They will split the child support.
He’d have to prove you to be an unfit mother to just take your child. As far as the other ex of his, if you go after him for child support they will go through the online database thing that will calculate according to his income and yours, and days with the child as far as how much he pays. It may lower his other child support some, but a man who already hasn’t been a present father is not gonna go after you for custody. I believe that’s a scare tactic. so dumb when they say that crap.
He won’t get custody, you can talk to whoever you want to, you need to file for child support so he pays you every month and if he doesn’t then they will take it out of his wages.
Cs is for deadbeats. Not failed relationships. If he keeps bailing out in taking care of his kids yes. If you are doing it for revenge then no. And they won’t take your kid because you need help.
He’s a joke take him to court and document his threats
Why would you not?! Smh
The other mother’s child support will be reduced seeing as he will have more than one dependent to support. SO yes, go for child support
Yes and total custody and a restraining order and save any communications with him
Yes you should go after him for support! Don’t let him intimidate you…
Child support based on how many and yes file also his past would be hard pressed to get child placement in his custody.
Yes you’ll get half of what she gets! Go for it
Gosh I hear this so often. Men say if you go after child support I’ll fight for custody of my kids. Men are such scum bags. Don’t let him intimidate you. No judge will give your child to there father unless you are unfit. I went through this with my ex and “off the record payments of child support” but the fact is the payments will never be consistent and your bills will always be. Go ahead and apply now. It’s what’s best for you and your child. Good luck!
Is child support what’s best for your kid? Or is this more of a “I feel like being a petty, bitter high conflict baby mama and want to make him pay” (like a majority of “mothers” on here) thing?
Do what’s best for the child, not you.
He’s full of shit. Go for child support.
Why is this ever a question it took two to make two to raise whether you’re together or not it is your CHILDS RIGHT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF BY BOTH PARENTS (BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY) why is so hard for women to have men do what’s RIGHT, PERIOD
He’s trying to gain some kind of co tell. Get child support. Get visitations rights on both ends. Do it all thru court.
He helped make that child, he can help pay for her. Kids are ridiculously expensive and he cannot take ur baby
Absolutely. He’s only threatening because he doesn’t want to pay more which he will. He will get visitation and you will get primary as that has already been established. They are 2 separate issues so go get your money and let him worry about visitation.
Yes u will get it and go after him for it make sure the judge knows of the mental, emotional, any type of abuse. Good luck
He is a hands off father but yet sees his other child 5 days a week??? Doesn’t seem to be a hands off father to me. And what he pays for his child has no bearing on what you will receive for your child. Is this really about child support? Or are there other motives?
Yes and file for custody
If going for child support makes you feel better and your child,then go for it.How about if you don’t and just take care of your child(if you can).js
Child support court doesnt care if he has other kids on child support they base it off income not his bills
If staying is a safety issue, why try to work it out with him. Go for child support and establish a custody agreement. Whether you get much or not. If his record is what you say it is, they wont give him the baby.
Get support and custody, if you feel unsafe then a restraining order too. You and your baby come first.
Go for child support. Don’t let him manipulate you with his threat of going for custody.
Please talk to a lawyer .what about medical care. My child support only covered their school lunches but it was something
Depends on the state you live in. In Ms. this is the way it is set up.
Why though … Smh… Read what u wrote… Does it not make sense to put him on child support???
Child support is what it says. Support for the child.
He’s an idiot. Don’t listen to a word he says.
Go for child support, it’s your child’s right! Also get primary custody. Then go from there. The court will not award him custody if he has a prior case opened with cys. He is bullying you and trying to intimidate you!
The amount he pays for the 1st will reduce now he would have to pay for the 2nd… dont wait for him to grow up and change, cause that will never happen. Move on and get your own place…
Maybe why he is seeing the other one so much is because he is hands on with the mom of the kid… dont let him take the kid if at all, especially before you have full custody
He won’t be able to get her. You need to see a lawyer. The other child will always come first money wise.
Are you stable? Can you provide proof to the courts that you can provide for your child? Make sure you got your ducks in a row and go get him, sis
Yes. Go after child support. He cant just take custody and if you have all of that in writing, even better.
He doesn’t make the rules. Go for child support. Your child is entitled to it. Do not give in to threats. If you buckle, he will continue to bully you. Be strong and go to court.
Get it court ordered
Go to court. The older kid will always get more tho.
Get child support, he’s just trying to scare you.
Each case are taken individually 30% and 30% will be taken out of his wages. Sorry to be him.