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QUESTION:
"Short of the long story; I have always had an up and down relationship with my eldest daughter. She was recently pregnant, throughout 8.5 months of her pregnancy, everything was fine, until I refused to lend them money. They got really mad and decided they didn't want me in their lives anymore. 4 days later my granddaughter was born. She is refusing to let me have any contact because of it. It seems my only option is to go to court for visitation, but I'm torn between waitng or not. I am loosing precious time that I can never get back with my granddaughter, but bringing her to court will probably destroy any chance I have of mending fences with my daughter….How long would you wait before going the legal route and risk loosing my daughter in the process? Thank you in advance, for all the help"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"What state are you in, provided you are in the USA? Each state is different, some have grandparent’s rights while others do not. If you do, court is of course an option. But to try to mend fences with your daughter, explain why financial help was not possible (many people just can’t, but perhaps you could but did not want to encourage her to not be responsible in the future?). In any case, I sure hope you can work it out, sounds like your daughter is really being entitled and selfish, not doing what is best for her baby, but what is best for her."
"Not many states have grandparents rights for intact families. It would be different if they lost custody and you were fighting the state. However, her parents are together and you don’t have an established relationship that was terminated so I am not sure you have a leg to stand on, legally. It is completely wrong for your daughter to emotionally blackmail you but I don’t think you have any legal standing to see your grandchild."
"Depending on where you are, grandparent rights aren’t an option. Definitely check your state laws."
"Most places grandparents don’t have rights honestly. I would look into it way more before you did anything. If a parent doesn’t want someone around their child it’s their choice"
"Unfortunately grandparents have no rights. So the only way to see her is if your daughter decides to let you. It’s the parents choice to let who they want around their child"
"Most states don’t offers grandparents rights and if they do its under very specific circumstances. Like I know in my state the grandparents child must be deceased or incarcerated, or the children must be in state custody for grandparents rights to even be an option."
"Do you live in a state that allows grandparent’s rights? A lot of states don’t. In special circumstances sometimes. I would check and see if you even have them where you live."
"Personally I would say don’t do it. It’s a parents choice who’s in their kids lives. And it also greatly depends on why you’ve always had a rocky relationship w your daughter."
"Is there possibly something you did for her to go no contact or is her safety being compromised? My mother has not seen much of my child and there’s definitely a reason for it. Are you possibly narcissistic and not realize it? There are two sides to every story. Sending love."
"As a mom with a granddaughter. This is between you and your daughter. Speak to her like an adult. My mom took me to court to see my boys. You know what happen, more drama and she got supervised access she didn’t show up for. It was a waste of my money and time and a waste of tax payers money."
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