That choice is always going to be up to you. Having to go through that routine is very exhausting I’m sure, and emotional, it can be a heavy thing to carry around. If you have that feeling of he needs a sibling, then try. Try until you’re too tired too. If you don’t want too, that’s not a bad thing either. He has a lot of cousins and friends you said so I’m sure he’ll be fine. My cousins are more like siblings then my actual siblings so having them around is great. I would just take time to think about it… write your feelings about it. There’s also other routes as well… adoption, surrogacy.
Have you thought about adoption?
If you have to ask, I’d say one is enough. He has cousins and friends.
I wouldn’t have another child out of guilt. That’s not right.
I think adoption would be an excellent option for you in this case because as you said, having another baby would be very hard. Now idk if your pregnancy or labor was hard, but if they were, then it would be safer and healthier for your mental health as well to adopt a child. Then everyone gets what they want. You get another baby and your son gets a brother or sister.
We always wanted two. How ever my pregnancy wasn’t easy either. Neither was the first 18 months as he was born with a cleft palate. We also struggle a bit financially so we have come to the decision not to have more. Mostly because getting the first one here was hard and I’m not sure I can go through it again.
My son spends lots of time with friends and cousins. There is often the occasional guilt of not giving him a sibling but his life is full as it is. Plus this way we can spoil him with time and attention
I want three and my husband only ever saw himself having 1, if he ever got married. We’re going into our fourth year married, pregnant with our second, and my husband is way more open about discussing a third.
Honestly, the YOLO applies here for me. I’m only going to go through this life once and while children are stressful and can be expensive, my daughter has brought me so much joy that nothing else has.
Having a biological child or adopting, I’d have another if you’re this torn on it. Cousins and friends aren’t the same as siblings.
Have you asked your son what he wants?
I felt guilty when I was pregnant with my second son, I thought my oldest would feel replaced. It turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made. They’re best friends. They’re close in age. They share toys & sometimes clothes. They protect each other. & they also fight like crazy lol. I don’t think you should have another child out of guilt, but no matter what you choose to do, you’re gonna feel guilty, that’s just part of being a parent Lol
I am an only child I LOVE IT! I have an only and she alwasy says she has no desire for a sibling. WE are able to do so many things that those with a lot of kids cannot. WE travel a lot and love it!
Mom of one amazing child who is 13, she is happy, she is loved and has friends and family and will make more as she gets older. I made peace because I went through hell when I was pregnant and don’t want to ever do that again. Having one child isn’t a bad thing and either is having 10. You need to do what feels right for your family and for me my girl is perfect and I could never imagine my life without her.
Momma, that’s a lot to go through. I can only imagine how hard it’s been on your body & mind. It sounds like you really want another child. You just don’t want to go through that painful struggle again. Have you considered adoption? There’s a lot of kids in foster care. You could adopt a child close to your son’s age. Or give him an older or younger sibling. There can be adoption assistance as well. I knew a woman who adopted 3 older siblings. She was paid to do so. It didn’t cover all their needs. It did cover legal costs, counseling etc. Good luck momma.
If I do have another I pray it’s a girl so I can be done
But also at the same time I think I’m just fine with one baby
My husband has 3 other wonderful children and our son
But I always think I want another because I seen my sister in her blooming days and she was always upset that she’s the only one from her mom but I believe she grew to be ok with it
In the same time I don’t because iv seen the struggles iv been through alone within the past 2 n half years
And I think it would make it harder if I had a second
My husband was a only child and grew up a lonely life. He had his friends and his cousins to play with. The mom bought him everything he ever wanted or needed because of the guilt of not having him a brother or sister. He had step siblings by his dad but they never considered him part of the family. So, he grew up by himself. He lost his momma july 1st and everything had fell on him to take care of and tend to with no help from anyone but me and its really hard on him.Its good on one hand because there will be no fighting or bickering over anything one the parent or parents passes on. But in another sense it is hard and lonely on them growing up by themselves
My thing is due to the fact you are struggling on making a decision to have one versus " never a thought" tells me in the long run you may regret not doing it, not an easy decision at all, best of luck either way
This question is one you will have to figure out yourself. None of us can say that the physical and mental pain is worth the out come because honestly we don’t feel it. God gave you a percious gift your son. Good luck and God bless.
Adoption would be a great option if that is available for you. I had my second child 22 years after my oldest and it was a hard pregnancy (I almost died). Don’t feel guilty, if a second child would be hard then adopt. My oldest was the only child for 22 years and she is great. Best of luck with whatever decision you and your husband decide on.
Adoption/foster??? Plenty in need of happy loving homes
Have u thought adoption
A win win u get bigger family and a child that doesnt have will get a family
I have three. It is a blessing, but just spoil tje heck outta the one you have. Let him have friends and cousins. I could never afford to spoil them all regrettably
Go nuts on the one kid, he will not be lonely if he has interactions with friends. He’ll find a bestie that will be his brother or sister
If you want more kids than have more kids. If you don’t thats perfectly okay as well. After i had my son in 2016 I had an IUD placed which caused me to get endometriosis in 2019. I found out i had a 10% chance to ever have kids again aftery surgery… February/March 2020 i also get diagnosed with PCOS. I had accepted my son was going to be my only child. I was an only child for 17 years till my brother was born, and i knew it was an okay thing to be that way. July/August 2020 i had gotten 2 false positives from the same sample…February 2021… A week before our 1 year anniversary my period was late, and which sometimes it can because of the PCOS. But something told me i was pregnant. I took a test and not even 30 seconds later 2 lines show up. I immediately cried. I have always wanted 3-4 kids, but as i had said i was okay with just my son. We know have my 5 year old, his 13 year old, and our baby girl who is due on Halloween. He wants 10 boys… Im okay with it as long as we can finacially afford it. Im a stay at home mom so it doesnt bother me much. The choice is solely on what you and your partner want. But do remember this. If you choose to have more thats okay, but if you choose not to have more thats okay as well!!
Have you thought about adopting? There are so many children out there that need loving parents
We chose to have a second child so my first son didn’t grow up alone. I grew up with a brother and my husband grew up with a sister. Also because there was some tragic events happen in my life like my mother and grandma passing away from cancer and honestly I don’t think I could have gotten through it as well as I did without my brother by my side. God forbid anything like that ever happened to myself or my husband id want my child to have someone there for him and vice versa
You sound like a selfish person give you son a sibling to have when your gone
If your son is old enough, has he indicated how he feels about a sibling? I struggled with this same situation for awhile. Feeling like our daughter needed a sibling so she wasn’t alone but she has adamantly and consistently been against it for years (she is almost 7 now). I agree with what others have said - you’ll ultimately get to a place in your own heart about what you truly want and think is best for your son and family as a whole. Sending prayers for clarity
Count your blessings!
I wanted siblings for my daughter, I have lost 2 pregnancies alone in the last yr that has caused it to be a lot less likely I’ll have more children. The guilt does bother me, but it is NOT my fault. We’re thankful bc she does have siblings with her dad & his girlfriend, so she has 3 other siblings. & loads of kids in our lives. But she is loved, and she is spoiled by me. She knows she has a mother and a friend in me, that’s what she needs. I can’t give her more & that is OKAY.
I did and had the same fears even got a partial hysterectomy so not to have anymore because of medical complications. Im now 53 and i have regretted my decision for the last 15 yrs. Because things change in life but if you only look at this decision for current situations only. I can only tell you my experience ive regretted that decision if cried over it so many times in the last 15yrs. Wish i didnt make that choice on only current situation not realizing things change so much. I could of had 2 more children. But i made a jump decision on the current situation. At least dont get yourself fixed that you never have the option to change ur mind as i did. Im very regretful i only had 1 child.
I can’t physically have anymore kids, but I’d LOVE to give my daughter a sibling… we are going to try an adopt when she’s around 5 or 6 and can understand the process a little better adoption/foster care is always
With the way the world is today I would not encourage more children. Do you see what is going on? It’s only getting worse. What kind of world they will grow up in is terrifying. Do the best you can with what you’ve got. If it’s meant to be it will be.
So before I had my 3 kids I had 2 ectopic pregnancies which resulted in losing my left fallopian tube I was diagnosed with endeodemetriousis and at 1 point I thought having kids for me was non existent then I finally got pregnant with my first child i had complications with my first I had pre-eclampsia and had an emergency c section, with my second child it was a normal pregnancy and I had her vaginally and for my son my pregnancy was normal up till labour then I had some complications but I feel blessed that I was able to have kids and honestly if you really want more I would go for it my kids are my whole world but make sure you can handle having both and ready for another
Me and my husband are only children I can tell you we are both just fine not have ever had siblings.
Morghan it would be great to have Ronnie Brown family in Parkers life love grandma.
I almost died delivering my daughter (my first child) and was told if I had another child there is a very high chance I would die. Well I got pregnant again and had my son with zero complications and now pregnant with my last. Don’t take one doctors word, and speak with professionals before making your decision
I suggest try the natural way no extra route since you are on the fence about it anyways and if it happens then it happens chances are by doing it this way you will eventually see if you really want another child and if/when you know you do and you talk to your Dr about do whatever you had to do last time
I hated being an only child when I was little but as an adult I’m so thankful I was an only! Both my parents passed away and all the legal things were easier with it just being me. I have memories of always obviously having all my parents love and attention 24/7. Plus growing up since I didn’t have siblings my parents let me take a friend every time we travelled!! It was great!.
My son is 6 and an only child. Sometimes I wish I could give him a sibling but we have severe fertility issues we got diagnosed with. So it would take a lot to have a second. At the end of the day I think staying with one is best for our family.
I decided to have another child just for that reason, so my little boy wouldn’t be lonely. I have a sister only a year and a half younge than me so we played together all the time growing up. I played with my son when he was little but there was only so much I could do, I had work to do and had to clean the house and there were so many little places in parks I couldn’t fit into. Sometimes I was just beat from working a 12 hour shift and didn’t have it in me. I’d see him trying to get the other kids to play with him and sometimes he couldn’t keep up or they just flat out wouldn’t and it really broke my heart. So we had our second son. They’re 3 and 5 now and they’re usually together. The little one really looks up to his big brother.
I wanted my kids to have siblings but honestly pregnancy is hard and if my health was in question I would be like nah I’m good with one… Plenty of only children are happy… love your little family and kick the guilt to the curve. One kid is great
You need to sit down and discuss this with your husband. Think about this, Would you have another one if you didn’t have to have medical intervention? If the answer is yes then deep down you would like to have another one. I know lots of people who have/ or are a only child and they are fine.
Not all pregnancies will be the same, if you really want to get pregnant I would get with your doctor before trying make sure you’re in good health and that your body can handle a pregnancy. Start a healthy diet.(I don’t mean start dieting I just mean make sure that you are eating a regularly healthy meal, cut down on sodium cut down on sugar and cut down on white flour. Drink plenty of water and take your vitamins. If you are too worried to get pregnant again, don’t put that stress on yourself. Look into adoption, look into fostering to adopt. For more affordable solution you could take your son to pick out a dog or pet, you want to make sure that he has a good connection with this dog or pet and will be a good friend for him.
By the way you have written this I just feel like it wouldn’t be worth the risk to you life and mental health to have another. Plenty of people have been fine as an only child, you could always look into adoption or fostering?
I hope you find a solution that’s right for you
Maybe adoption would be a good option for your family! Not all kids are the same. Some wouldn’t mind being an only child and some would love a sibling. I was an old let child until I was 10 years old and I begged my mom to have another kid ever since I could talk and then she had one when I was 10 and again when I was 12 and I really wished she had them when I was younger but I know some people who grew up to be an only child and loved it. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It sounds like you don’t want another pregnancy because of all the medical stress so do what you want. Don’t worry about your son he’ll make friends and has family.
I think adoption is a great idea. Though there’s nothing wrong with being an only child. My daughter was the only child for 10 years. It was normal to her so the thought of a sibling wasn’t on her mind. But after I had my second child when she was 10, she loved it. I’m pregnant with my third and she wants the baby to hurry up so she can hold him lol.
Have you considered adoption?
I’d at least get a couple of opinions from the medical professionals on things you can do to possibly overcome another pregnancy or have a better result. Yeah that’s a tough one…
I have one child, he’s now 16. Having one was the best decision for me. I was 20 when I delivered him and the healthiest I had ever been in my life and my pregnancy was very very hard. I have no regrets having just one child. He keeps us busy enough and he is very well adjusted for being an only child.
I hated being an only child growing up. All my friends had siblings and I was almost jealous.
A lot of women Have trouble conceiving and go thru the struggles of getting pregnant. You have to know in your mind only if you are strong enough to do it again… And I bet you are momma!!!
Never say never. A good frien of mine was told she would never have kids. At age 40-she found herself pregnant
I wouldn’t base it off of giving him a sibling that he might not even like
I was an only for 13 years. When my mother remarried, I got 3 siblings in my age group, then 2 more by birth. I much preferred having siblings. There a lot kids learn from other children that “onlys “ don’t get.
There is no guarantee that siblings will be friends
Put aside wanting a playmate for your child and ask yourself if you really want another baby.
I didnt want children when I married…after 3 years it was the only thing I wanted. 10 years later I felt the same way and had another.
Falling pregnant for you sounds complicated and im not sure if you really desperately want another baby…or feel guilty for only having one.
You do what’s best for your family. There’s nothing wrong with having only 1 child. My two boys are especially close though. Where you see one you see the other. They’re also only 17 months apart.
I had a surprise pregnancy, I was also on the fence, but knowing once me and sons dad pass, he will have a sibling , so not be alone, made me happy to be having 2nd, hes due any day now, I’ll be making sure this is my last though.
I was an only child for 8 years and I loved it.
Obviously depending on your childs age, you can ask indirectly and age appropriately how he feels, does he enjoy being an only child, does he want a sibling.
Just a perspective from a different angle. Don’t pressure and worry yourself sick xx
If you know it’s going to take all that and your not up to it then why ask ? it seems like you’ve made your decision
Maybe consider adoption
Well I like you had issues getting pregnant. Actually I thought I had the flu with my 1st because I truly believed I couldn’t get pregnant and my mother told me to get a test. Lol. That was funny. I learned while pregnant with her I have a tilted cervix which is why I never had a scare or why me n hubby could be like bunnies and no baby. She’s here because of my late dog that just passed away Nov 2020. I know that sounds weird! But after 3yrs of nothing we decided to get a puppy. I let having babies go to be the best dog mom EVER. I was so happy!!! I truly believe by letting the idea go of babies and having, loving my puppy, it just happened. As for my 2nd I went on BC after her. They really sold me on the no period thing…I kept it the whole 5yrs. (IUD) but looking back I wish I’d have removed it sooner so the gab wasn’t as big between them. Got pregnant with 2nd daughter when 1st daughter was 6. Idk what to tell you other than really think on it and hey have sex (couldn’t hurt) but if you really want #2, you might have to go that route. I also learned after that it would be a bit easier to conceive after my 1st which proved to be true. I only had that BC out 3 or 4 months before I was pregnant again. Much love hun
Think hard ab it…it’s no walk in the park getting (2) ready, self included to getting (3) ready !
Be ready for the challonge
I was you 10 years ago, felt guilty not giving my child a sibling,
We endured 4 more cycles of Ivf.
My daughter came along.
What no one tells you is that you have guilt once you get 2, that your doing enough for one and not the other that your once only child is missing out on attention
Try fostering. There are plenty of kids that need homes.
What’s more important… being pregnant or raising a child.
Pregnancy can take a toll on a woman’s body and her mind. Talk to your husband about adoption so your son has a sibling. You won’t put your body through hell, you will be helping a baby find a home and your son will have a sibling that you can raise as your own.
Try adoption. The heartbeat law has passed thru the supreme court. There will be more babies needing homes soon. Just a thought. Pray about it. God will tell you what is best. But, believing in God answering prayers is key. He said " believe and you shall receive". God bless.
Young one read what you wrote up to “I adore my son…” I come from a big family and we have an “only child “ - a couple - our cousins- cousins are very much as important as brothers and sisters. Blood is blood - thick or thin -
Aunties and Uncles too- our “only child(ren)” aren’t alone - don’t have another unless YOU are ready-
Whether you decide to have another Child or not is up to you and your husband. I am an only child and I wanted more than one. He said he only wanted one but I explained the loneliness growing up so we decided to have another child.
I only had one child and it was great he loved it and we gave him all the attention. He’s grown now and we are still super close. My two cents……
I did not want my oldest growing up with only child syndrome, lol, but they are 10 1/2 years apart
Personally I would sit down and have a chat with your dr and your hubby. There are also other options out there other than putting yourself through all the medical torture.
You don’t have a child just so your child isn’t bored. If you don’t want another you don’t have anymore. It’s simple. The process might be difficult but the decision should be easy. You have a child because you want too. Don’t put the burden on your child.
Adoption is always an option.
This is some soul searching on your part. I married a man at 26 yrs and he had a child. When I started raising “my” child he was 11 months old. I didn’t want kids. But when I knew this was my soul mate I knew I was also now a mom. I jumped in with both feet. But I still didn’t want to have more. Well, at 29 that bio clock is REAL. We were married, owned a 4 bedroom home, and did well by Adrian so far. We both wanted another, however scary that may be. We did and so do NOT regret it. But after having biologically carried one, I knew without a doubt that was it for me. Different position because my kids DO have each other. But my daughter has always wanted a younger sibling. And you know how parents do when kids ask ridiculous things and you don’t feel like answering so you say “maybe”, or “we will see”. My answer was flat nope. No nope and no some more. I was confident and had no doubts about my decision to NOT have another. So I would seriously write a pros and cons list and go from there. Only YOU can answer that for you. Sorry not more help!
I only have my son and use to feel extremely guilty about not giving him a sibling… but i was very hands on me and my son were mostly just us most of his life and we have a really close relationship… if he wanted to play superheros for the 100th time I was there… he never wanted a sibling either. Everyone says oh they need a sibling to play with but most siblings I know hate each other most of the time and alot arent even close when they grow up so ya if its going to cause health issues for you I wouldnt do it. Give them all your attention and maybe get them a pet instead haha my son and his dog are best buds and he always says thats the only brother he wants lol i also get to go to all his sports and everything where i know tons who have to miss things cuz theyre at the other kids events etc and thatd kill me so ya to me one if perfect
If you are questioning it, it’s not time. If it was time, you’d know without question.
I feel the same, also some medical issues would be involved. I just don’t think I could handle another one and going through all that again. It’s such a hard decision. I’m just going to wait and see how things go for the next few years and then decide from there.
I wanted another one but the world is too crazy for me to bring another child in to it, to suffer.
I think our futures are a very big question everyone should be asking
I just had my second 6 mos ago and him and brother are the best of friends. The good thing is Theres options out there girl….So you wouldnt have to go through a tough pregnancy or medical help. But it really is up to you
I chose to have another child because my parents died in an accident the day I had my first child and wanted to make sure that if my child ever went through something traumatic they wouldn’t be alone in it. Now having said that I am currently pregnant w my 3rd child and am experiencing severe medical issues which as you mentioned is very draining emotionally and physically. Having experienced this I will not be having another child after this. It’s a tough decision momma, but if you decide to have another child once it’s here you will never regret it.
Don’t force yourself . Don’t ask anyone . That only you can know . But mostly you need feel like u want that baby not cause it’s time to build family
No one can answer you for that your body your life your decision
I can only say from my option if u would feel tired still from one I would think I bit longer before you taje decition
Saying ugh definitely u aren’t ready go again same way
My son is 12. He is essentially an only child (stepbrother not in touch with) and we were in the same boat. Small family, small friend group. It’s not an option for me anymore, but I wish I had been brave enough to try again. I’m not at peace with it- it’s not as painful now as it was, but it’s a big regret. My son, however, seems totally fine with it and I am hopeful that he will marry someone with a big family. I know plenty of only children who live happy, wonderful, successful lives.
Good luck with this incredibly tough decision, sending you good thoughts.
Medically you will suffer … So there’s you answer.
Adoption, fostering or just focusing on raising your little one with all the love you have to give is best.
My son absolutely loves being an only child. He makes it very known that he never wants a sibling. I lost my dad 10yrs ago and fighting with my own siblings I’m at peace knowing my son will never have to fight with anyone.
I feel like people as they get older regardless if they are an only child or have siblings will more often to seek out companionship with friends than their siblings. The odds of your children remaining close, or close enough that it made this decision worth it to you will probably less than 50/50. I am an only child and I loved being an only child, literally all of my friends had siblings and financially the families were more stressed, emotionally the parents were more stressed and my friends hated their siblings. Only one that I’m aware of has actually gotten close to her brother, all of the other ones as they turned into adults drifted apart. Everybody is just so different and usually your siblings are nothing like you in my experience so most people go and seek friends who are like-minded and that is who they develop their bonds with. If you want to have another child for yourself that is one thing but if it is strictly so your child doesn’t have to be alone I just feel like that’s a big gamble that they will get along well enough to have made all the sacrifices worth it. Either way I wish you nothing but the best! PS I do have step siblings whom I absolutely adore but I can’t say it would’ve been the same if we grew up in the same household
Samantha Rosenfeld Lopuszynski I think in reference to the guilt part thought there is a little more instinct involved. After my 1st, I just felt that there was another I eventually wanted, right away. Now that I am pregnant with my 2nd, I am ‘satisfied and done’. I think you need to decide if that’s what you want to begin with before weighing thr medical complications and THEN factor those in. I don’t think that guilt for the other kid being an only child is the only driver to actually wanting another child so to me in this case, it sounds like OP doesn’t actually want more but feels obligated and may be then stressing herself further with the medical concerns.
Have you thought about adoption? Lots of kiddos out there that needs homes.
Foster care/adoption is a great way to add to your family. I say that as someone who shares the fertility struggle and has adopted three cuties.
This is entirely up to you and your spouse. From your message it doesn’t sound like you are mentally ready for that process you went though again. Foster care/adoption is always an option too. I was an only child and I’m fine. I feel like I have a closer relationship with my parents due to it and it really helps your imagination and creativity grow.
Yes as an only child it was horrible!
I just think about how I want to be alive and healthy to raise my son My pregnancy was so hard on my body …but my son is my heart and I just want to stay as healthy as I can.
If you’re contemplating and not really wanting one because of the medical intervention I would suggest looking into adoption. If you go through a foster care it’s little charge to nothing. Buuuut with that being said if you just not sure if you want another one then I’d sit with it. Or even just foster and see how it is with another child. Then both of you get something out of it. The child has a safe home until placed back with their parents or an adopter and you can get a feel for what it’s like having another child around.
Have y’all thought about adoption
Have you considered adopting or long term foster care?
Fostering to adopt would be a wonderful alternative.
And if u have a kid don’t put him/her in foster care
Have u thought about adoption or a surrogate mom? Both better options than putting yourself through such hard physical pain. It’s costly regardless of which way u go.
If you are struggling then DONT. this means you really don’t want a baby right now and it isn’t fair to anyone
I mean I love my 2 girls but it’s deff. Harder with 2 or more lol. I find 1 is pretty perfect now at days. But I can’t say anything cuz I already have 2 and going on another ughhh lol
If you don’t want to go through that: Adoption - either another kid or pet.
I chose to go through it since I wanted to expand my family. Didn’t work. Ended up pregnant naturally after we gave up. What is meant to be, will be.
I loved being an only child and my son being an only as well. There’s nothing wrong with just having 1.