Am I ridiculous?? I got a new car yesterday, and my SO went with me this morning to pick it up… Before leaving to pick it up, the wipers were stuck on our other car and because of snow and ice, and I said to him, “the wipers are stuck” he then responds saying “If you need my help, why don’t you just ask?” He then fixes the wipers, and we go pick up the other car… when we get there, the same scenario with this car… wipers are stuck, and the windshield is covered in ice… I let him know that it’s gonna take a while for the windshield to defrost, and he says, “Is there something you wanna ask me?” So I said no and told him he could take the other car home… I feel like as my man; I shouldn’t have to ask him to clean my car off!! As a man, you see, it needs to be done, so why do I have to ask for your help?? What’s next, I’m gonna have to ask you if you can put salt down at OUR house and shovel OUR car out!!! Am I wrong?? Do you ladies have to “ask” your man to do these things??
I wipe my own vehicle off. if its something I’m not able to.do I ask for help. but if they don’t know you can’t expect hubby to know
How long have you been married
Geez. Just ask him if he could do it, if you aren’t going to do it yourself.
Communication. People aren’t mind readers.
How is he supposed to know what you want unless you say something? Closed mouths don’t get fed
No a real man knows exactly what to do. Sounds like he may be jealous…idk… I have a good man and never ask for anything. Took me a 23 year broken marriage to find him . But ya hes pretty perfect . More so than that. You shouldn’t have to ask…
I wipe my own car off. I don’t expect my husband to know what I want. I ask him to do stuff and he asks me. When it’s done I tell him thank you. Men aren’t mind readers.
You are have two arms and two legs dont you ?
Men aren’t mind readers. I have had this same discussion with my husband many times. I find it keeps so much peace when I ask directly for what I need. For example, I get really cold in the mornings so I ask my husband every morning to turn off the fan in the room. Now most mornings it is already done. It’s takes time for them to know exactly what you need.
I quit driving in March when the world shut down so yea, I now expect my husband to clean the car off…before 2020, I did that myself, because, well, I’m not helpless
Uh… Do it yourself?
You do gotta ask him for help if you arent willing to help yourself… But, the “is there something you wanna ask me?”. Gtfo my car😜. Now youll feel bad to ask for help
Um well it’s polite to ask… And two… Your grown ass woman… What did you do before you got with him? Like uhhhhh ?
Sadly, men are not mind readers.
My husband is always telling me how he isn’t a mind reader. I expect him to just know things because I do sometimes and then I realize how silly that is.
You’re saying you dont think you should have to do “mans work”
I’m sorry I guess I’m a little confused? Why can’t you clean your own car off? Or why can’t you just say “hey baby, can you clean the car off before we go”. You kinda sound like a spoiled a** b*tch no offense of anything, but come on.
Sorry but he is an asshat! Any gentleman would not treat you like that. I couldn’t deal with a guy like that. He has way too much attitude and you shouldn’t need to spell out the obvious to him!! Good luck if you stay and can put up with that.
Why can’t you do it yourself??? Jesus! Can you say entitled?!?!
Women up and do it yourself jeez
You can’t do any of this yourself because…?
And just like that, all the feminists had a heart attack
As a women that also has two hands I assume , what’s wrong with you, why can’t you do it yourself.
Did you discuss this chore beforehand or did you jist decide it’s his job without telling him.
Rather talk to him and then discuss it, chances are he does not realise its a him thing
Just ask sis…lol he can’t read minds. And it sounds like you just expect him to be a robot
You sound dramatic clean it off or ask for help it’s not that hard. Unless your sick or pregnant you should be be able to handle it
As a grown adult. You should either 1. ASK for help or 2. Do it yourself.
I get the other stuff but if it is your car and you are driving that’s your responsibility not his.
Grow up and be an adult and do it yourself
Otherwise ask for help
You have 2 hands and 2 feet…do it yourself!!!
Ill probably be scolded for this… but…
Considering I’m an independent woman who could even change my own tire, let alone clean my car off, I have no advice for you other than to ask you this…
When your man wants a shower, do you rush to turn it on for him?
Is he be grown man, and can do it himself?
Seriously? Lol you really couldn’t just lift the wipers yourself? If you’re going to own a vehicle, then you must know how to maintain one yourself and yes that means wiping the snow off yourself or simply just ask.
Honestly, I would have loved for him to say it that calmly? Or even do it at all for me, so that I didn’t have to.
and imo it’s not about “men’s” work or “women’s” work but yeah if you are getting the kids ready to go and the windshield needs scraped then he needs to take some initiative and freaking do it. does he have to ask you to get the kids ready and out the door? no? then you shouldn’t have to ask him to take care of the other tasks that need done.
Wow… do it yourself or ask. He can’t read your entitled mind.
I mean you’re fully capable of doing it lol but if you don’t want to wipe the windshield off then just ask him. I hate doing it so I ask my husband to
If all I ever had to worry about was who tf was gonna unstick my windshield wiper🙄 u have two hands. Do it urself. He sounds annoyed with u…like the rest of us.
Looks like your husband woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Yes, nobody is a mind reader, but a caring husband would just do it without being asked. Obvious things like that, I really don’t think you should have to ask.
Oh god no…my hubby is respectful…very caring n loving
Sounds like he’s looking for validation of being needed. If asking boosts his ego, do it. All you have to do is change your wording to get what you desire. Is that really that bad? I mean, he is doing the work. Get over it.
He’s not a mind reader and you’re not his mommy. You’re both wrong. You shouldn’t have to ask for obvious things, but you can’t expect him to always know what you want either.
I don’t have to ask my man to do anything for me, if I do all something it’s a simple request that he fulfills. He takes care of everything bill wise, house and car wise. 🤷:innocent:
Ummm. I don’t expect my man to just do things because I want him to. If he sees me get out and do it he comes and helps me or takes over. And if I really don’t want to I respectfully ask him. We are partners, he’s not my personal car slave. Just like I’m not his house slave, if I need help I ask or if he sees something that needs to be done he does it or asks me what to do w it. COMMUNICATION is key! If you’re getting mad about anything it should be the assumption he’s responsible and your inability to communicate what you want of him.
If you want him to do it just ask? Or do it yourself? I don’t drive anymore but when I did I cleaned off my car, pumped my own gas and even changed my own tire when it went flat (he wasn’t happy with that last one though lol)
You have to communicate.
I’d ask you if he was this way when you were dating…if so you knew what you were getting why complain now that you are married. IDK how long you’ve been together but it takes time and honest communication to build roles and expectations in a relationship. It took my husband and I years to have a comfortable flow of who does this or that and now (20+ years later) we usually know what the other needs and pitch in without being asked but when life happens as it tends to do verbal conversations about help is healthy and necessary. His responses seem rude from your post BUT is that who he is and was he joking? My husband uses sarcasm and gives me a little crap when I ask for something but I know he means yes I’ll help that’s just his way. I don’t think in all our years he’s ever just said “yes babe” lol and at this point I’d think he was sick or not well if he didn’t give me a bit of crap because that’s him. My advice talk to him about this as that’s where you’ll come to an agreement not here.
Nope. My husband just does these things. He knows, and I know, I could do these things but he chooses to make my life easier - just like I do things for him to make his life easier.
Do it yourself. Don’t depend on your man to do such simple tasks lol is there a reason you’re incapable of doing it?
My man is a good man and never makes me ask? That’s the strangest thing I’ve heard. Men are supposed to do the hard work for their families.
All I’m saying is my husband doesn’t have to ask me to wash his clothes or clean his house or cook his meals… everyone saying “you have two hands” but none of you know how much this woman could already be doing for her man.
I would just do it myself, if it was a two person job than yeah I would ask for help.
You hands ain’t broke
Sounds like a jackass lmao my bf cleans my windshield without being asked, he knows I’m capable but doesn’t let me
Mine does things for me but I do for him too…he was up early and shoveled…shoveled me a path…on the grass I might add…to my car door. In turn, I cleaned his car off for him so it didn’t ice over and him have to do it in the morning. …give and take.
Mine doesn’t do shit unless told directly. For me or anyone.
Jeez some people are rude as hell.
Mine personally just does that kinda stuff, I dont have to mention it… cz yeah he is the man lol and he knows I’ll be cranky if I do (I hate the cold lol) and in general all the outdoor and car stuff his his “responsibility” while mine is the indoor stuff.
I dont generally have to ask him to do those kinds of things and video versa as long as neither of us have an attitude a general statement like the wipers are stuck, wouldnt be the biggest deal.
Only chore we fight over is trash haha no one wants to do it🤣
Is this a constant occurrence with your SO, or just a bad morning?
Umm I can clean my car off and don’t need my husband to do it for me. My husband plows thw drive way and sometimes gets car out with out me. But we are a team and I help get the trucks out and shoveling when he’s not home. Don’t be lazy
I do it myself unless it’s something I need help with. I don’t like admitting I need help.
Plus he is sooo tired when he gets home, 4-6, 6 days a week, most of the time. I try and let him rest and not bother him with petty shit. I used to live in the snow in Reno, even then, I dug my own car out, defrosted my own windshield and cleaned it with my cute lil pink camouflage ice scraper. Haha
For real though, if you’re totally capable of doing it yourself then why not?
Don’t expect anything from anyone that you wouldn’t or aren’t capable to do yourself. If you can’t ask, don’t expect. That being said, I’m learning to express what i would like to receive. It’s hard, but the worst thing someone can do is say no and you’re no less off then you were when you asked
It’s called doing it yourself if you’re too prideful to ask for help.
If he’s willing and only requires you to ask… just ask.
You BOTH sound very immature. He obviously knows you are wanting the help and wants to hear you say it. Sounds like a narcissist. Your hands are not broke you just sound lazy and sound like you don’t want to “get your hands dirty” 🤷
well be glad he does anything to help you at all because there’s a lot of men who don’t do anything to help their wives and at least he wants to help you just want you to ask for help I don’t think that’s too much
For one u don’t ask u just tell them. # boss bitch
If you can speak why don’t you ask him? He can not read your mind!
Have you actually asked him for help? What was the purpose of saying “my wipers are stuck”? Were you expecting him to jump out of his seat and do as you commanded right away? You could have cleaned the wipers yourself. You should not expect him to do everything, and definitely shouldn’t expect him to be a mind reader. If you can’t ask, don’t expect it to just be done for you.
Unsaid expectations are premeditated resentments. If you have a need, ask. That’s all he wanted you to do.
If you can’t unstick your own wipers, you have no business driving a car. What happens when they get stuck when you’re inside a store? Most men want to feel needed, but you really want to feel so helpless?
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I’ve been married 14 years. We’ve been through hell and back. So let me just tell you what you probably don’t want to hear. Yes you have to ask him. Trust me your life will be easier once you just ask for the things you need. Pretty soon he will catch on.
You keep saying OUR
But yet, you’re not doing shit, you just expect him to jump- and do it all for you
Asking a good man shows him that you respect his freedom of choice rather then assuming he will do it. I.ask even when i know he will say yes and always thank him.
Yea I have to constantly have to ask my lazy ass husband to do things and it’s like telling a toddler something they throw a big tantrum . Then we fight because I tell him how it is .
Men do not owe us anything nor do they need to bow down and entertain our every want. Its wipers, you can clean off your windshield yourself. You’re acting very entitled. Unless you have something physically wrong writh your arms/hands you are more than capable of cleaning off your car yourself. If you don’t want to, simply ask him if he can. What will you do when he’s not in the car with you??
And do you automatically do things for him w/out asking? I do agree that he sounds like he wants you to ask so he can feel all He - Man rescuing the damsel in distress syndrome lol. It’s a simple task cleaning your car off / do it yourself it’s not hard
You are being rude and apparently he agrees with me by the way he responds. Is it too much to even say hey babe can you grab the wipers please. Also I’m positive you are capable of doing these things yourself you would rather just be rude about it then ask nicely. Maybe you shouldn’t have to ask. However would it kill you to be nice about it. It sounds like you dont appreciate what he does do and he notices. Honey not vinegar. Your really rude like really really rude
No. My husband does everything. He gets the oil changed when it needs it, buys new tires, fills up the tank, takes it for maintenance, details it. He handles everything and I am so grateful. I am capable of doing everything but he prefers to take care of everything. That’s how his dad is, it’s how his brother is.
I have no problem asking my man to do anything and everything! Lol especially in the cold. But I usually don’t have to ask because he does it without hesitation
Yes, if you want help you should ask. And no you shouldn’t expect anyone to just do something for you.
just because hes a man doesn’t mean he should just do it because you feel it’s a man thing.
Im sure you wouldn’t like it if your husband felt anytime you were near the kitchen you should be cooking or doing dishes…
Talk to each other, ask and offer help with any tasks. Makes life much easier
You sound high maintenance.
Id rather just do it myself. Hate relying on my husband that just so grumpy when you ask him to do anything. If i cant do it tough it can wait.
Men are not mind readers, if you want his help with something YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR IT,
I’ve never expected any man to do that kind of stuff for me and it’s unfair to expect him to.
If I need help with something I ask. Which I would expect from him also.
You sound like a spoiled brat. Clean your own windshield off. Learn how to do these things yourself. Its not that hard.
So you got a new car, so when you go out on your who will clean/defrost the wipers then? …UH you, so yeah you should ask he doesn’t have to do it just because he is a man, don’t you throw the garbage out also double standards
I think as a married woman. Men don’t typically think like us, therefore expressing yourself PROPERLY and ASKING because that’s what a spouse does. If help is needed ask. Otherwise stop being lazy and expecting him to do it for you and do it yourself.
Also I do a lot of “man chores” because we are a TEAM
hey y’all she’s going to learn the hard way don’t give her advice let it fall on her head so she can learn.
You sound annoying as fuck tbh
Do you have two capable hands at your disposal? If he can do it, you can do it. There is nothing wrong with communicating if you need help, especially if you struggle to get ice off of either. Instead of expecting him to do everything like a bratty little princess, ask instead–especially if it’s your own vehicle.
Yeah in a situation like this if you want him to clean off the windshield or whatever I think you should ask, he’s not a mind reader and you could easily do it yourself.
Yes sometimes i have to ask my husband to help with stuff. Damn, they aren’t mind readers.
I would expect my man to do this for me. It’s cold outside and I should not be out there cleaning ice off wipers. But it also goes both ways. There would be things I would do for him that I know he needs/wants and him not have to ask me. You’re not acting like a spoiled brat and this doesn’t automatically make you high maintenance. Different people have different expectations and that’s ok.
Um as a ADULT DRIVER you should be capable of cleaning your own car off, whether your husband is there or not…
Don’t expect YOUR man to do everything for YOU. You’re a grown lady do your own stuff or respect him enough to ask and not assume he will help. He doesn’t have to help you do stuff. The world doesn’t revolve around you love.
Stop hinting. Be direct. Women are used to beating around the bush but men want to be told exactly. Would you tell your child, “Gee, it would be nice for you to have a clean room” or “You need to pick up your toys and put them away now”? Which approach gets results? Women have been trained to avoid conflict and anger but in the modern world you can just ask for what you want, including for birthdays and holidays. Works well for all.
We clean off each others cars without having to be asked. With that being said, I don’t expect him to do it and he doesn’t expect me to do it. Men aren’t mine readers. It’s called communication.
Do you expect him to wipe your butt after you poo? Your a grown woman do it yourself. Honestly be self-sufficient because one day he might not be there for one reason or another and you will have to do it on your own.
You sound high maintenance and like you feel extremely entitled. Get a grip lady.
so you expect him to a mind reader? whats wrong with simply asking “hey babe can you help me with this please?”…
But if your capable of doing these things yourself, why should you expect him to do it. When people hint instead or just asking, annoys me more and makes me not want to do it
If it’s something I’m able to do I do it myself.
Your car you do it!!?? Women’s lib and all that
My husband and I both know our expectations of each other but, we’re not about to let each other struggle either. I’m not going to let him change the oil in the car in the pouring rain without having a hot cup of coffee and a change of clothes waiting for him.