If you feel you need help then you better ask. Typically as a woman I was raised to learn to do things for myself. If no one else is around who would be doing it? Me! I’m sorry to say but you are making us females look bad.
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Or you could do it yourself 
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Clean your own darn window off 
you’re a woman, not incapable. Sounds like you have an attitude/entitlement issue.
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I don’t think we should expect anything from anyone. I feel like asking makes other feel appreciated and credited for what they do because they don’t have to do it.
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Just do it yourself, if you didn’t have him there you’d have to get on with it. If your too busy doing other stuff and have to dash out and he’s available then ask him that’s different but otherwise just get it done. 
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Well what’s worng with helping him out, or better yet do it yourself.
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If you want help. Ask for it. And bonus is if the man feels needed they are happy.
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Clean ur own car or be direct. Men are not mind readers.
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You need to respect him more. How are you gonna take care of yourself when you have to live alone? Grow up.
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Some women are so entitled 
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He isn’t mind reader and I think maybe he has had enough of being expected to do things
Me and my husband have been together for 7 and a half years we have 3 kids between us and 1 on the way ,
The sentence, " would you mind just doing this for me bubi please "
Is something that always comes out of my mouth ,
He does a hell of a lot for me, but if I want something done I will ask and use manners … so will he … maybe thats why we don’t have this issue
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Jesus I have to clean my own vehicle off…
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I don’t ever ask mine to do anything for me unless I can’t do it myself. But then again my boyfriend does things before I would even think to ask him. We’ve been with eachother for 7 years.
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I agree you should be able to do these things yourself however, I think the way he is talking to you isn’t right. He should say ‘would you like a hand?’ rather than the derogatory tone of ‘is there something you want to ask me?’
Lazy man he knows the rules
Men are not mind readers. If you want him to do something then ask. If communication is a problem then you need to speak up and never depend on a man because they will not always be around
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Why does gender play such a vital role in this? The window has ice grab the scraper and clean it, the driveway needs to be shoveled or salted then grab a shovel and some salt and get it done. Last I checked none of the above mentioned problems are solved using your genitals so man, woman, or otherwise if you don’t want to use your words and ask for help when you need it then do it the f*ck yourself
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Ugh! I agree with you. My husband has always made sure my car was defrosted and brushed the snow off.
If all he wants is you to ask and he will actually do it hell id just ask.I clean my own car off and start his car so its defrosted when he has to leave
Man oh man. As a man I shouldn’t have to ask you to clean my car off!!! OKAY PRINCESS!! WTF!!! Serious issue! First and For most YOUR CAR. Secondly it’s needs to be done? Can you imagine if he acted like that if the dishes, house, laundry want done and was thinking the same thing. Both of you can do it not just him. Now you say our home our car so either of you can do it!! And not because your married means you don’t have to ask and now he has to cater to all your needs. You ask anyone anything you would like done as a favor. I never forget to say please or thank you to absolutely anyone that’s ESPECIALLY including my husband And my kids because i appreciate them and would like them to do the same.
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Why can’t you just do it yourself? Lol. You can have an SO and still be somewhat independent. Unsticking your wipers shouldn’t be an issue…chill.
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Have you found that pea under all those mattresses yet?? 
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So can you not put salt down or shovel your own drive. These aren’t just HIS jobs. Its ur car you clear it or ask if he minds doing it . Maybe he’s sick of the entitled attitude and wants a little gratitude. Sounds like this princess needs to pull her sleeves up and get stuck in or just use her words.
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Um. You are wrong because he’s not a mind reader and COMMUNICATION IS A KEY TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. Talk to your man. Stop being selfish and childish.
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Ahh I will be the oddball. Chivalry is not dead. Yes there are some things you should ask for help on because men are not mind readers. However, if my hubby knows we are going somewhere he goes out and starts the car about 8 minutes before we leave so its warm and scrapes the wind shield. Even if he isnt going. If he sees me struggling with something cause I’m stubborn. He will just come ever a giggle then help me. We are more of a traditional family however, I’m not into being “equal” and all that jazz. I like when my hubby does the traditional stereotypical man-stuff and so does he. Maybe have a conversation on how he views roles in a marriage. It’s also very possible that his love language is affirmation and it’s his way of feeling needed. I think your best start would be some communication. You may just see things differently and it can all be cleared up by understanding one another’s thoughts. Maybe your love language is acts of service, meaning you feel loved when someone does things for you to help you out. There are all sorts of quizzes online you guys can take together to know your love languages. I dont think either of you are wrong, just maybe expectations are different. Talk talk talk 
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Do it your bloody self! 
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I ask for the help that I need. Nobody can read my mind and I appreciate the people that let me handle my own issues. But I surely don’t expect anyone to take care of me like I’m helpless.
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Perhaps he is happy to do it for you but wants the appreciation and recognition for doing it and that’s why he wants you to ask and then follow up with an appreciative comment (idea from men are from Mars women are from Venus which was written by a man)
Yes you are ridiculous
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Spoiled princess much I’m married and do all that myself and I’m a spoiled wife
I don’t ask, or hint. I do it myself. And my man hates when someone hints at things. He’d rather be asked. It’s a small thing.
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Why cant you do it your self ?
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Do it your damn self or ask him. He’s not your servant and he doesn’t need to just do shit for you out of no where. Be a big girl and do shit yourself. Tf.
I do the simple things myself
I agree that it’s nice when husbands pitch in more. But when I read this post I think it’s more of a communication issue. You are throwing out blanket statements. It is my biggest pet peeve when my kids make statements expecting me to do something . For example “I’m hungry”. I try to coach them to request the action from me because I’m not a mind reader- they need to say “hey Mom can you get me a snack?”
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You sound like a “Karen,” pretty damn entitled.
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Unless their is a valid reason no reason you shouldn’t be cleaning off your car or whatever.
I work full time and have a toddler I watch the weather and I prepare if i have to try and wake up early to go shovel and clean I do so I can just put my little one in a safe space to go start my truck before we leave for her daycare.
I clean up the house and do laundry on my breaks I usually don’t take a lunch just a few 15 min breaks during my 8:30-5 days and it’s enough to keep the house looking decent. Take out meat and what not so as soon as I get home I can start dinner.
Some days I come home from daycare pickup and dinners being worked on some days it’s all just sitting their waiting to be prepped. It’s balance and depending on how his day went.
If he’s working I don’t expect him to do much and I am thankful for anything he does do to help us. As he works 50-60 hours a week so most of the time if he’s not home I have no choice if I want to get my little to daycare I have to clean the 
. Once we go back to the office the same.
I just say thank you and am thankful for any bit of help I get and when he’s working or called out for a snow storm time management and preparation are key to being self independent.
Heck I don’t even mind taking out the trash if it’s full it just goes out garbage cans etc.
He works just as hard as I do im more mentally and he’s way more physically drained at the end of the day.
N if I need help or him go grab something I ask I don’t expect n if he forgets I usually have a plan B ready
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Sorry but why can’t you do these things you ain’t helpless or are you expecting him to be your slave
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I always have to ask him to do garbages, dishes, vacuum, but when it comes to of I start doing it if it’s fixing something he comes running, he wants to feel needed and wanted… I’ve told him I know how to fix stuff as I was doing it myself before he came along… 
A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. If his only request is that you ask for help, and you require said help you need to suck up your pride and do it
30 seconds of my life I’ll never get back
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hes a man that said why cant you do it yourself as most people would
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How about you just do it yourself?
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You need to communicate with him and stop being childish. He can’t read your mind. Or better yet, pick your battles and do it yourself sometimes.
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You need to learn to do what you can yourself.
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No !!! Just get on with it and clean the own ice of your bloody car .
My husband does it for me sometimes and I say thank you but I have arms and can do it myself . I don’t expect him to do it because I have a working brain too !
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I’m sorry but… grow up?
No one is a mind reader. Yes, you do have to ask for help. No, you can’t just assume you’ll get it. That’s not how the world works.
And your genders don’t mean anything. Stop acting like being a woman means you get special treatment.
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Sweetheart stop. Not everyone is the same. You will build years of resentment with your husband in what looks to be still a young marriage, under 5 years. Be direct. Ex. My husband called me and told me the kids are hungry. Mind you I’m at my second Nightshift job on my fourth night. I fed the kids before I came to work. It was 10 pm so they might just want a snack. What he is really saying is “honey I do not have money to buy the kids food, they are hungry and I would like to buy them food, can I Doordash from our already budgeted account?” All he has to say is I need to spend a couple of dollars from our joint account because I’m running low on my personal account. I am not a mind reader and my guess is neither is your husband. You need to sit down with your husband and both of you need to talk about what each other’s expectations are. From the looks of it, I’m assuming you grew up watching your father figure do this for your mother so you are assuming that is the way it is suppose to be. I can almost guarantee it did not start out that way. It takes time for you and your husband to know each other’s pet peeves which I’m guessing by the time you were old enough to notice, your parents had already ironed out the details in their marriage. That was their marriage, not yours. If you walk around assuming and expecting without using your words, you are in for some unnecessary issues. He just wants you to ask and say thanks. Nothing wrong with that.
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Get your fat lazy ass outside and do it yourself
He wants to feel important by being asked for his help. Maybe he doesn’t think you notice things he’s done and feels unappreciated? Everyone has a love language. I don’t mind asking my husband for things and he doesn’t mind doing it. There’s a lot worse problems. At least he’s communicating that he wants you to ask and not assume he will just do it.
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You are a functional adult. Clean it yourself. You should never expect him to do anything for you. Marriage is about expecting love from him nothing else. Yes sometimes people show their love by doing things for the other but some don’t
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fighting petty with petty isn’t a good look. Grow up, both of you
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lol what did I just read ? You are on a path straight to divorce. I feel bad for your husband.
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Why couldn’t you just do it?
There will be times when you are out on your own so you will need to do it.
Be an independent woman 
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Warm your car up and turn defroster on…and everyone wins…avoid pettiness.
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yeah. just ask. He is not a mind-reader. And expecting such will end in disaster eventually.
Pick up a copy of the 5 Love Languages and give it a read together. Sounds like your love language is acts of service and his is not. Learning to ‘speak love’ fluently to each other in these ways can greatly improve your every day interactions! A good way to communicate to your spouse about this would be saying something like “I feel really loved when you do small tasks and chores for me without my asking.”
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clean the wipers yourself. He isn’t your slave
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He DOESNT have to do those things for you it’s called being considerate if he does 
you’re a woman and should know how to shovel your own driveway put ice salt down use a ice scraper etc cause you cannot always depend on men to do things for you sorry.
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Sorry, why couldn’t you do it?
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Why couldn’t you sort the wipers yourself? If he expected you to cook and clean and rub his feet you’d be screaming he was a pig
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Im trying to understand where you are coming from. I believe, you might find the notion of asking constantly pretty exhausting… instead of him realizing the obvious things around him. I can see how marring someone who doesn’t pick up on verbal cues or has a lack of initiative can be irritating. But you found him… So you have to conform to his level or be patient till he can get used to the type of “get it done without me asking you” type of individual you are. Sit him down and tell him "husband I love you, and everything you do is perfect, so I just KNOW that you’re so smart at everything… sometimes I don’t feel the need to ask you to do the obvious things for me…but if I’m wrong and you need help, forgive me…I am ready to lower my standards and accept asking you to do the obvious. Because you do need help… And that’s on me… So please change the (insert what you want him to do). Eventually he’ll stop wanting you to ask…and start using his brain to help you before you make him feel belittled. 
Or just do it yourself.
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If you want him to help with something and its not clicking for him be direct and straight forward.
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I’m not helpless and I don’t expect anyone to cater to as If I was! You are able to do those things too!
girl i don’t know whether to laugh at u or cry for ur man… imagine me in my 18 wheeler up on those icy mountains in virginia, colorado, etc…
me: "babe, it’s gonna be a while before my windshield defrosts, i won’t make it home til a day after you.
my dude all wtf’d: "is there something u wanna ask me?
me all mad n useless: uum yea… as my man, i shouldn’t have to ask you, you should automatically drive 1800 miles up here so u can unstick my truck’s windshield wipers!
i’d be embarrassed to even think it:nauseated_face:
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One of my sons exes once told me “ it was his responsibility to take care of her”… clean cook laundry and work!” OMG… lazy
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Sounds to me like your just expecting things and being ungrateful and hubby would like a little communication and a little appreciation. Does it work the other way do you always have his meals prepared and the house clean and his laundry done your the women right he shouldn’t have to ask right
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Omg… seriously? You seem spoiled and ungrateful.
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I agree if he sees there’s something wrong he should just want to help you but you know some men just refuse to do anything unless they’re asked . Some men just can’t take the hint !! Men are just like that . So therefore , if you want him to do it just ask .
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You should be more then capable of cleaning off your own damn windshield an put salt down in your own driveway an shovel the fucking thing too… quit being so damn lazy an maybe he would treat you differently…
Yes, he’s a man. I agree that you shouldn’t have to because he’s an adult, but we do a lot that we shouldn’t have to. Apparently the man you married has no ambition, no sense of self motivation, and needs to be asked, so ask, or he’ll never do anything.
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If ya think that then you better have the house clean, food ready and be prepared for the coming up 1954 new year. Get off your ass.
Yes you should always ask don’t demand or expect things out of him that’s just rude you wouldn’t want him to demand and expect you to do simple tasks without him Asking you first.
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My husband helps with the harder tasks but I definitely don’t need help with getting the wipers unstuck
I don’t expect him to clean my car off. if he decided to on his own, i would appreciate it. i also never expect people to read my mind if i want something. Your husband wants you to ask him for what you want, he’s not wrong for that.
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If my husbands got time in the morning he’ll do our windscreen so me and the kids can get straight off. But I text him and thank him. I don’t stand and expect him to do it. You sound the type to tell him he’s doing it wrong anyway
Clean off your own damn car (then go make me a sandwich)
Wow… Ummm… So apparently your husband is tired of you expecting him to cater to you. Husband’s need pats on the back and warm appreciation. And sounds like you need to humble yourself, take care of your own shit lady.
It goes both ways. If your man loves you, he should automatically want to do those things for you, but learn to do it for yourself, and scrape off his windows sometimes too to show him you appreciate him too.
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You spend more energy thinking he’s a mind reader. Just ask. Its thats simple. I’ve been married 20+ years. I promise you, there’s a simple solution. Just ask and be specific. If you need it now then say that. If it can wait, then say that too. Now, if he doesn’t do it even after you ask, then, there lies the real issue.
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My dad always did all that stuff for my sisters and I, but he also showed us to do it ourselves and we did it for him if we left first. Weird that he asks cause he obviously knows you know it needs to be done and maybe he’s fed up always doing it. Just help out when you can same way you want him to help you.
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Sorry but if I need something done I just ask my husband. I am not helpless. like what the heck?
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No, I just do it myself. I was raised not to rely on anyone. (It does make my husband mad though)
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Sounds like lack of communication. Tell him these things
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If that was his attitude I’d do it all myself I’d ask em nothing he’d soon shit himself when u can do it all urself he’d change his attitude quick smart
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As a adult, you should be able to handle this task all by yourself
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Same. If he uses the car, he cleans it off and vise versa. Why do we need to depend on a man to do everything??
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No you shouldn’t have to
girl pick your battles this is gonna be a long road for you if this is the type of battles you pick
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If my SO looked at me and said the wipers are stuck…I would probably say yes they are… and keep moving. It’s not a question! And that’s a human, a human you chose to be with, be kind. Treat him like you would want a woman to treat your son!
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No, I usually do them myself. But if I need help, I ask. My husband isn’t a mind reader.
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I honestly see both sides of this, on one hand I never wait around for my husband unless I don’t know what I’m doing, and then I do ask him to show me so i know for next time. On the other hand, a man never has to ask a woman to do something stereotypically done by women. We clean, do laundry, do dishes, watch the kiddos without our men having to ask so why should we have to ask our men to do stereotypical manly chores? And finally, I would normally just let it go but to me it sounds like he’s being very condescending and that is definitely something i would address. I’d be damned if my husband spoke to me the way I understood your husband to be speaking to you
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It takes two seconds to stop and ask him directly for help. He’s even telling you that he doesn’t understand what you need help with via the hints you’re dropping.
This is not the hill to die on for your marriage’s sake.
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This seems super petty to me. I’m also extremely independent. I don’t expect my husband do things for me, that I can do for myself. If he does help me with something, I always thank him. It’s not his job to take care of me. Men need to feel appreciated, too.
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If I need something I done I do it myself. I don’t expect nor wait for my husband to do anything. I am fully capable of doing everything he can and have proven it. If I want something done specifically I then ask him. Seems polite and the right thing to do
Here it kinda seems to my your man is tired of being expected to do everything for you without being asked if he can do it. Like he feels he is under appreciated in the relationship.
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They aren’t mind readers and he’s making it clear that he needs direct communication. Chill tf out and talk to him. He’s your significant other not your father
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My husband usually does not things concerning my car, for me. Usually without me asking. But, I also don’t “expect him too” just because he’s my husband. You seem to expect him too, and not actually appreciate him for doing anything for you. Does my husband HAVE to do things for me, just because we’re married? Hell no. He just does. Does he because he wants to? Yeah… Ok that and because he’s a mechanic and he tells me not to touch the car and that only he can touch the car if something needs fixed… So there’s that too 
lmao but when I get up to go to work at 4 am, should I expect him to go warm up and deforest my car and windows for me? Probably not… That would be nice though…I Robert if I could convince him to do that for me 
but seriously, you should like a spoiled unappreciative wife that expects your husband to do everything for you. Just because he’s your man. And your mad at him for wanting you to ask him for his help when you need it, instead of jumping to do everything before you have to lift a finger sorry… But not sorry
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Why do you have such an issue with asking him to do the things you need done. I’d be mad as heck if my husband sat down at the table and stated there is no dinner served for me to eat. Instead I would expect him to say babe will you please fix me a bite to eat I’m starved…appreciation and manners go a long way. Just giving advice, don’t mean to offend, God bless yall
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Ive been with my husband 8 years, and yes. I ask for his help if he doesn’t automatically volunteer to do something that I need help with. He doesn’t read minds and lets be real, he’s a man so he can be somewhat oblivious sometimes lol. I guess its been such a non-issue for us that Ive never really put much thought into it. It doesn’t bother me to ask him to do things, and it doesn’t bother him to be asked.
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Spoiled. If I need my car cleaned off and I notice it needs to be I’m
not going to go out of my way to ask my man to do another thing on top of the millions of things he already does lmao. Just clean your car off girl
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I wouldn’t expect him to do It. I’d do it myself. And if I wanted or needed help I would kindly ask…
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