When he stated if you need my help just ask…he’s telling you he needs and wants direct communication as to what you want him to do…I think you need to try and work on communication skills and don’t get so upset over little stuff…relationships take work and patience
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I’ll try and do what I need to do first but if I can’t do it in the end then I’ll ask for help. Males aren’t mind readers sometimes men need direct communication or be asked twice before he does it, or I’ll just stare at him till he does what I asked him to do and thank him when he’s finished.
Oh hell no. If our kid needs fed, I feed him, if the dog needs out whoever notices takes her out, the dishes need done I do them, errands need to be done whoever is available does them, trash needs taken out? Whoever sees it does it!!! A relationship needs to be a PARTNERSHIP. Now, it’s possible for someone to be ignorant of what needs done and so then maybe asking would be a good idea in order to communicate needs, but that doesn’t seem like the case here? Almost like he needs you to ask for his own ego to be fed??? That’s not how it works. I ask my husband for things sometimes and vice versa, but we never ask each other for things that we KNOW needs to be done. Because it isn’t about the task, it’s about working together and being mindful of what needs to be taken care of to run a household. If my husband “asked” me to do everything I do I stg nothing would get done, and vice versa. That’s unhealthy.
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If your husband is with and you let him the wipers are frozen then he should step up and take care of the problem ,unless he’s your son a teenager and doesn’t know what to do ,a man shouldn’t have to be asked or told what to do ,when he sees what needs to be done .
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I’ve asked my husband to walk me through changing my tail light or headlight. I do the work he is providing the steps and once I learn I now can choose whether I do it myself or ask him.
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I don’t have to ask. But then again, I don’t have expectations with this kind of stuff either. If he does something without being asked or expected of him, it means that much more.
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I just do it myself. There is literally no reason why I can’t do any of those things if they need done. If you need help though, just ask.
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I think you need to have a talk with him. Men see it as you shouldn’t expect them to be mind readers and know what you want of them. They fail to realize that we just want them to do something without being asked and that they are acting like children who need mommies to tell them what needs to be done. Talk to him and explain this.
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…I would have just done it myself if I wanted it done. It kind of sounds like you were being passive aggressive. Communication is key. Most guys don’t work like we do honestly. If you want him to do things you need to ask. You need to communicate your expectations as they arise. It sounds like he was trying to cue you to do that. You just got mad and petty 
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When he is hungry ask him if he has something he wants to ask you. No we have to ask men( The father of your children). I f he cares to watch the kids so you can go do something with a friend. They don’t ask us if we can watch them why they go somewhere with their friends. Just saying.
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I normally just do thing myself and am grateful when my man does anything lol relationships are partnerships and men are not psychic they can’t just guess what you want you need to tell them. Just like with a woman…
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I was raised a man just knew to do all those things. But my husband wasn’t so I see both sides
I clean off my own car. If something is mechanically wrong with the car he takes care of it (he’s a mechanic). Other than that I do it myself. Sounds entitled to me. Try doing things yourself. If you can’t then yes ask for help AND say thank you.
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Listen honey, this isn’t attacking or coming at you, but men are not mind readers. You gotta tell em what you need.
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A real man already knows. Your man is immature and playing a game with you. He has to be validated with being “needed”. Soon it will turn in to having to ask his “permission” on things. BUT he was like this before you married him, so what’s the real issue?
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Eight months pregnant and I ain’t even get that kind of treatment
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And? What is so hard about asking him? Both of you sound ridiculous, ungrateful, unappreciated and maybe need some renewed communication skills.
I guess you should just get up snd cook or clean and do laundry or whatever it is you do for him without being asked? And if you do, hey… good for you but… you sound complacent.
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Why not do it yourself, if you are making such a fuss over something as petty as this, I actually feel sorry fot your husband, he must have to put up with a lot from you.
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And even if I ask, its not done. Everything “a man” has to do around the house, I must pay somebody else
I think it Shud b done urself wat u can do y ask others we can do as much as a man fair enough of its something we no fck all about but other than dat I say get on wit it an do it ur self 
Why not just do it yourself and not just expect him to do what you want without hesitation? 
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You’re kinda douchy.
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Marriage is about team work when I go out before my husband and see if my car needs cleaned off I clean off both his and mine and vice versa so in my opinion if you want your marriage to last you gotta give to get
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I guess I’m just independent I do it all ! With three kids
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No, I have a gentleman for a husband. He does everything for me. Everything. He’s an officer and a gentleman, a real man, frfr.
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It use to be that way until women started the women’s lib stuff wanting to be independent. Acting like the man. So we have no right to whinn now. If you need help ask him.
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Learn to ask.All he ask for is straight communication!
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I never ask my man to fo anything for simple like that so I just am here to read others opinions.
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Are your legs broke? Did you marry to be in a relationship or are you just looking for him to parent you? He married you to be his life partner EQUALS not to be your slave. Why don’t you take care of yourself and stand on your own 2 feet. Here’s a thought… show him the same courtesy you are demanding. Lol I wouldn’t be surprised of he dropped you for a real relationship. My husband helps me but I dont demand it. I have scared windows for him as well as he has made sure I have a warm ride to work and home.
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I don’t ask my husband for anything unless it’s getting the gravy boat I use at Thanksgiving down from the tippy top shelf… I’m 5’4" he’s 6’2"… I’m a SAHM. I have a car, he doesn’t. He walks to work and works 60 hours a week. I cook, clean, all yard work, all shoveling, mowing, and take care of our children.
If I need him, I politely communicate using my big girl words. My husband isn’t a mind reader. I’m also a perfectly capable woman and it takes longer to beat around the bush than clear a car window.
Hop in the car and windshield washer fluid the shit out of it till it’s clear. 
What?? It works. But this is Wisconsin… Sometimes you gotta shovel the car out put those big girl undies on and prove you don’t need no man. Sheesh.
Communicate, ask for what you want, or just do it yourself.
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Just tell him straight out what you want done, or do it yourself.
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If I am there when my wife leaves I start her car and turn the defroster on so the windows are clean and she has a warm car. Because I’m not always there is why I got her a remote start for her car. I wouldn’t expect her to scrape the window clean I would do it for her. That is a man’s job
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No, he just does it. Without me even asking for help.
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I have to ask my husband for everything. Most Men don’t think of details like us women. I say pick your battles…merry Christmas 
If he’s in that car with you and sees that you need help and doesn’t offer until you have to ask for it he’s not much of a man ! You can’t find many of them nowadays ! The next time he wants sex and you know it , ask him if there’s something he wants to ask you ! Just saying ! Sounds like a real piece of work to me ! 
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No, I don’t expect him to do shit for me BeCauSe He’S a MaN, Karen 
How much more sexist can you be?? So entitled 
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I don’t bother. I do it myself.
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He’s not your servant. Spoilt brat
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Uhhhh 
That’s why I don’t live where it snows! Lmao but are you being serious? I can change my own tire if it’s flat in my high heel. Learn to do those little stuff on your own. What would you do if he left? 
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He has a penis?
Then yes.
I’m 8 months pregnant and cleaned my car off my self, because I beat my husband outside. I also buckled my one year old in. Don’t be such a whiney person and do the stuff you want done yourself, or be an adult and communicate by asking him politely to do what’s needed.
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Wouldn’t expect my man to do things I’m quite capable of doing 
if there’s ice on the screen I’ll deal with it if you have a car you take responsibility for that car…you’re actually pathetic tbh grow up
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A real man doesn’t need to be asked to take care of his wife that’s his job and a REAL man knows his job ! What a dickhead he is 
maybe you need to make him ask you ! For what he needs help with 
My husband does things for me most of the time so I can’t say anything on that but if I do actually want him to do something that he hasnt, then ill ask him. Especially if he’s made it clear that he would appreciate the gesture of you takin the the time to ask him, rather than just expecting it from him.
Men don’t ‘see’ things, you can ask without being a bitch
Seriously you are being petty. You are not a princess. Your husband could be nice and clear off your windows. You are a grown women you can clean them off yourself.
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I agree with you, and there was a point in time where men just took care of things like that for their lady without having to be asked but unfortunately the world has changed and so have they. 
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My husband does all that without me asking and before my husband my dad used to do all that without me asking … so ya you shouldn’t have to ask its his job specially if it’s cold outside
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I had to do more than ask. I had to spell each and everything out that I needed him to do and remind him 50 times to do it. I do shit by myself now.
It’s not your husbands job to clean off your car. My goodness. I thought we wanted equality. You are a big girl. Get out and fix your own wipers.
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Wait, is he your husband or your slave? 
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Lmao I literally do everything myself or nothing would be done even when it comes to the “mans” work!! Even changed out my battery last week and thing was stuck as heck but I did it anyways
This is bull shit! Sorry not sorry! Why do you think that because he’s a man that he should have to clean off your car for you? Can you say gender stereotyping! Besides that if you wanted him to clean off your car for you just fucking ask. When peoe pull this bull shit on me (hinting around that they want help trying to make me feel guilty) I straight up won’t help them. You can do it yourself. It’s common courtesy to ask if you need help, not be a spoiled brat and expect it. I’m a woman and I live in Anchorage Alaska, I have to clean the ice and about 4 inches of snow off my car everyday. You asked for our opinions and mine is that your entitled, and I hope your not passing this on to your child(ren) about gender stereotyping
When he runs out of clean clothes or wants dinner say the same thing to him… Is there something you want to ask me?
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What would you do if your man wasn’t there?
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I cleaned the ice and snow off my own car this am. 
I don’t expect my husband to do it just because he’s a male. If he offered I wouldn’t have said no, but I’m not going to force him to do it if he’s not the one that needs the vehicle.
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You are perfectly capable of doing it yourself and you’re passing off something you don’t want to do as a “mans job.”
Let go of the misogyny, and if you want help with something just outright ask for help.
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Why can’t you do it yourself?
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Men aren’t mind readers. You have to communicate to them. If you want help ask them.
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I’ll trade with you. I’ll unstick your wipers. You can take out the garbage, dump ashes from a coal stove, put another 40 pounds in it to keep it going, and shovel through a foot snow just to get to the car plus the snow and ice on the car. Yes I have a significant other but I am not handicapped. I am fully capable of doing those things myself. Every women should be a little self sufficient. Just do it if you are capable and it’s done. Are you going to break a nail?
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Is that a serious question? Who raised you? You do not just expect your SO to do things for you. Too high expectations that aren’t met lead to resentment, for one. For two. YOU👏ARE👏A👏GROWN👏WOMAN👏 learn some independence, for real
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I ask my husband to do stuff all the time I never just make statements and expect him to do it. Your husband is not wrong you are. Maybe try asking when you want him to do something
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Hes a man. Hes not gonna pick up the cues. You have to tell them/him what you want done. If I want him to clean off car i ask. He will go proudly do it. I dont depend on a man to do stuff for me.
Sounds like he wants you to be more independent and not just do everything for you. Can you not physically do these things for why you think he should just know? I think we need more details. Prlersonally of you’re driving you should be able to remove the frozen wipers he won’t always be there to help you.
My husband does so much… But when I want or need something done, obvious or not I speak up. He got alot already
He is acting ridiculous when he says “is there something you want to ask me?”
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I’m very independent and don’t depend on my man for nothing. I work on my own car, my daughters truck and customers cars, so I just do it. I learned tge hard way the first time
I’m sorry but I was raised to be independent and my husband knows that I do things for myself soooo…I can’t relate. If I want/need his help I ASK him for it. Girl, closed mouths don’t get fed if you need help just say so!
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He’s literally telling you to communicate your needs instead of making passive comments. If you want him to help you, ask for it. Don’t expect him to read your mind and then resent him when he can’t.
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Get out and unstick your own wipers. It’s your car, right?
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If I can do something myself. I do. When I need help I just ask.
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I don’t ask him to do those things because I can do them myself… just sounds like you’re lazy:woman_facepalming:t3:
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I use to do those things before He got up in the morning so He wouldn’t have to do them before He went to WORK.
Got use to doing things for my self. Easier that way
I’ve been married for 21 years and if my husband was with me and my wipers were stuck believe me he would fix them‼ If he wasn’t with me then Yes I’ll do it myself, it’s not about me expecting him to do it, but I’d be use to him doing this for me, I am not helpless but If my man wants to unstick my wipers for me then good god please do‼
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First of all men don’t pick up on hints… at all. You have to be very clear and direct. Secondly, you’re a grown ass woman there is no reason you can’t clean off your own damn windshield. Grow up.
Do. It. Your. Damn. Self.
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Do that shit yourself. He’s probably sick and tired of doing everything for you and you being afraid to lift your finger and break a damn nail.
I understand where you are coming from. I’m very independent. Haven’t lived with a man for 11 yrs. Recently I’m in a relationship and experience from past relationships also tell me I can do things for myself, and men will allow you to do it ALL by yourself too. They say, " just say if you need help" . I’m sorry but who is telling me that things need to be done? NO ONE! I have the common sense and initiative to do it on my own. The trash can is full do I wait for some one to tell me? No. The floor is dirty do I wait for someone to ask me to sweep it? No. If I waited for someone to tell me or ask me to do it, it would never get done. We were raised to think it’s a woman’s job automatically. If I have to ask I might as well call you my kid not my husband or boyfriend. I shouldn’t have to ask for help on everyday chores in which he is knowingly contributing to the mess too. Can I do it ALL by myself, absolutely but why should I and why should I have to tell him, no one tells me. 
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Yep. Anything that is needed must be asked or I just do it myself. He does do things that he can think of on his own but thats very far between, lol. Most times I have to be direct and brutally clear about what i need, sometimes 17 times before he gets to it 
Being pregnant I sometimes have to ask for him to carry heavy things or clean the litterbox which pisses me off, but that’s just me things get done eventually.
Men don’t work like that. If you want help ask. But… its a car (the one your driving). Unless there’s physically something preventing you from doing it yourself i don’t see why he should be excited to do it. I get needing help with ever day household things. But if it was reversed and he was expecting you to do his car, I got a feeling you’d be having more then a few chose words for him. Feather more he’s literally saying that he can’t read your mind and needs you to communicate with him, that, and you might need to be more independent as well. Instead of making a statement of “the windshield wipers are frozen.” How about rewording it to something like " hay hun, the windshield wipers are frozen again, could you please have look at them for me?" I’d be more inclined to help or do it when put that way.
Your sounding like a princess at the moment. I don’t know if that was your intent, but that’s how its coming out.
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You’ve got 2 hands and a mouth, do it yourself or ask. It’s not that hard. The entitled princess look you have isn’t cute one bit.
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I think that everyone has a different “love language” and he’s trying to tell you that when you ask for his help instead of making a statement and he jumps up and responds - he feels better about the interaction. You can decide to ignore what your husband is telling you he needs from you or you can make a slight modification to how your doing things to make someone you love feel more loved.
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Be happy you have a man to ask!
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Uh no. Do your own stuff. I’ve NEVER expected anyone to clean off my car or windshield. Wtf? And seriously, he’s saying ask for shit, stop making passive comments to get him to do shit.
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For crying out loud, do it yourself. Contrary to your belief you are not a princess.
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As much as you wanted this post to go your way. You’re wrong.
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Girl you need to settle down i understand that its frustrating having to ask but like people are saying maybe he feels unappreciated and jjst wants to feel needed. Wtf is wrong with asking. But I also agree that him saying do you wanna ask me somthing is uncalled for like thats just childish. Maybe sit down and talk with him and see whats going on.
If you want him to do something, ask instead of being passive aggressive. But it’s your car, just do it yourself. I sincerely hope you know how to check the oil and change a flat.
My husband just stated, “he needs to be a man and get out and do it because he sees it needs to be done.” My husband jumps on things and if he doesn’t know about them all I have to do is ask and he will respond with, “okay honey.” Luckily my truck has remote start so I can start it from inside the house to let the windows defrost before I leave. When I didn’t have a vehicle that done that he would go out in the mornings as we were getting ready for work and start our vehicles.
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Talk about ENTITLEMENT. Grow up, get off your high horse, and do shit yourself. Jfc
Wow some of y’all are very rude from what I get from this post sounds like she may have to ask him to do stuff all the time and maybe she has had conversations with him already about what she needs and she’s just tired and frustrated yes she definitely can do it herself if needed but maybe she’s burnt out none of us know I’ve seen so many relationships marriages where the woman do everything and man does nothing while they sit on there butts like they are some kinda king and the woman caters to them so you never really know what could be going on maybe he does barely nothing for her and maybe she’s asked so many times and she’s just tired of it everyone is so quick to judge not knowing the real thing behind it and in relationship and marriage your supposed to be a team not one sided and maybe every thing is on her mostly you don’t know and plus a real man you don’t have to ask they already know what to do just saying people judge way to much maybe she just wants a little help and for him to be considerate enough to want to
I feel like hinting to it feels nicer than asking. I feel bossy when I ask. My hubby does it all without hesitation.
What prevents you as a woman from cleaning off your own car? I mean we fought for equal rights but we still want to be treated as though we can’t fend for ourselves?
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Equality. If you want him to do something use your words. You’re an adult. You shouldn’t just assume he’s going to do something because he is a man. It’s not like it’s something you aren’t fully capable of doing yourself… just because he may have done it as a nicety at one point doesn’t designate him to do it for life. Also he obviously will if you ask so just ask
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Girl if you wait for guys to do things they see need to be done your going to be waiting around a long damn time want things done you do them yourself. Usually if its things more “manly” my guy will volunteer as he sees me struggling. Lol
Either do it yourself or be direct. Hunting or not asking directly is passive aggressive communication and leads to further break downs In communication and needs not being met.
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So what its called respect to ask why assume he will do it are u the one driving or him come on u sound like someone who thinks there intitled
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… The wipers are stuck is a statement. Youre expectations are silly because he wants you to ask him. And you keep offering statements. We like independent women. And also ones that arent afraid to ask for help. And god forbid one that isnt gonna make an issue out of something thats a result of your own inability to change how situations are approached. He gave you the solution. You keep making it a problem…
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How about if you need him to do something just ask if I were to tell my husband ‘the wipers are stuck because of snow’ the response I’m going to get is ‘okay’.
I’m sorry but just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can’t clean your own car off. Or do anything for that matter.
My husband travels for work sometimes and there have been countless weeks I have had to take care of kids, take care of animals, clean my car, clean the house inside and out, cut grass, weedeat, etc.
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