No, I don’t have to ask most times. If he knows I’m going somewhere he will go out, clean it off and start it up so I am warm when I get in.
But I also don’t have a problem saying, Baby can you start the car for me? I can also clean my car off myself. Soooo 
. Just remember to say please and thank you afterwards.
I clean off my own car, pay for my oil changes, fix my wipes, dust off and scrape off my car. Like if thats what pisses you off that he didn’t CLEAN OFF YOUR CAR then I think you need to reevaluate yourself hun. Its not an issue and with men you have to be direct
Well it’s more polite to just say hey babe can you fix my wipers please. Instead of just sitting there expecting him to do it. What if the roll was switched and he just sat their looking at you while he just dropped hints. To me it’s childish just ask. Your creating an issue just ask lol. It’s not that he wnt do it he just wants to be politely asked! Be thankful he does it when you ask lol. Most men still wnt do what’s asked of them. We are not princesses we are humans. We certainly don’t live in fairytales. If he asked you just to ask then why cnt you lol.
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I do most things on my own but if I do need his help I would definitely ask him. Men, if you haven’t already figured out, are kinda clueless. We still love them. 
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I don’t ask for help for anything unless I can’t do it myself after several attempts. I won’t ever rely on anyone else for help because most people will let you down, even spouses. My husband calls me stubborn. I call myself resilient. 
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Honestly it is respectful to ask for help and not just expect him to do things. He is a human being that has a mind and an opinion of his own, not to mention they are simple things you are needing done. If you needed gutters cleaned or something if that matter I can see needing help but not for a frosted windshield. It is not healthy in a relationship to expect your partner to do simple tasks for you, especially when you are way more than capable of doing a lot of them on your own. Its not only about respect but also common courtesy and human decency
Well, since those were all simple things, why couldn’t you do it. Hubby use to do things for me and I for him, but you could be alone sometime and need to do for yourself.
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I ask, I learned a long time ago, been married 23 years, that he can’t read my mind. So ya, I would have asked him to help with the wipers, or help with putting salt in the driving way.
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I had to ask mine to do these things for me and he would say “your car, your job” but when he was working and before he was on disability, at 4:30 in the morning when we had sleet, ice, and snow, he would sleep as late as hee could in the mornings and wake me up to go clean HIS vehicle off and warm it up for him. The way I see it, same for him “His vehicle, his job”. Right? HE NOR HIS MOTHER THOUGHT I WAS BEING FAIR TO HIM!!! WE are no longer together!
COMMENTS ON THIS WELCOME!!!
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My husband goes around griping about things that need to be done but he doesn’t do any thing.example he will say the Christmas tree needs more water! My thoughts get off your ass and do it then! Or these shoes need to be lined up so we don’t trip.Well bend down and line em up lol this happens every single day.
Do you expect your “so” to cut your steak into bite size pieces and feed them to you too? Something so simple as scraping ice you’re more than capable of. 
Edit: I can understand where he is coming from. Referring to your husband as your “so.” Show a little respect to your “so” and stop expecting things from him and he’ll more than likely do them. It’s when you get pissy about him not clearing snow/ice from the car YOU are driving the resentment towards you grows. Seems like you’re expecting a one way relationship, if I was him I would have packed my bags long ago…
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My husband goes out starts my car, and removes ice off of it if need be. I never have to ask, but everybody is different
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I do most of this myself and on top of that change my own tire if flat and oil when needed most of the time I’m up before he is for work and since he takes care of our son most of the day I do it myself
Why is removing ice from your windshield a man thing. It’s a winter thing. Also if you saw the wipers were stuck get out and fix it .
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Do you cook or clean or do laundry for him?? If so does he ask you too. If not, wait for him to ask. Lol. Put the shoe on the other foot
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I don’t have to ask. But If it makes him feel better me asking then I would. I would also thank him. It shows they are appreciated.
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I have the same problem. I don’t feel like I have to ask him to do things, he should be able to see what needs to be done. Frustrated
Make sure you don’t cook for him or do his wash unless he asks!
I have also been married 20+yrs and nonthing is simple. Just ask nicely,and if it don’t happen do it yourself. I have always tried to do myself, just for that reason.
I don’t know? I always do that kind of stuff for my wife without asking. They way I see it, my wife would never ask a bunch of strangers any questions for advice about our relationship. She would have that conversation with me and me alone. Also I as a man would not be a lazy SOB and wait for my wife to ask me to scrape her windows so it would make me feel masculine or some shit like that.
If you want my honest opinion, I think you two were made for each other!
I usually won’t ask because my husband will make a remark like you are really getting weak or old. So I usually just do it myself. If I can’t do it myself I may ask my daughter or just do without.
I sitting here in complete disbelief that you are ticked that your SO doesn’t automatically unstick the wipers from your car. Seriously. Your car. Get out and take care of it. I seriously can’t even believe you have that expectation.
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I’ve been married for 32 years,as a husband and father i have always made sure my wife’s car and daughters vehicle is defrosted or clean of snow,its the little things as you say for a good marriage,and respect to my wife and love for my daughter,so yeah he should do it without being ask,they know how to do it but they shouldn’t have to
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Men are not like they used to be but then neither are women. Women are more independent and men are more let them do it themselves lol
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You sure sound like a high upkeep babe 
if his attention isn’t every second on your needs and wants, he’s a failure ! I will say women like you give the capable women a bad name 
Do it yourself. That way you’re independent and don’t need to depend on a man to do it.
Man like to be asked because then they know what you want and they won’t guess wrong
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I don’t understand? Is there a medical reason that you can clean your own car off?
Or just do it yourself… its pretty easy.
I will not ask my husband to do something for me , that I can do for myself. And he’s the same with me .
Grow up. Stop expecting him to be a mind reader and communicate what you want. You’re an adult. Act like it and not a spoiled child expected to get their way.
You already asked this question on our other mom group and it was still just as ridiculous lol these comments are alot nicer though… haha
Is this a real question?? Yes, what’s so hard about asking? You wouldn’t like it if he just expect you to do stuff.
He should do it all. A real man would offer
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Always rely on your self first! Ask for help when you need it. Have a conversation about the bigger stuff, like shoveling the driveway… whose main job is it going be. But in the grand scheme of things, he should want to do things for you, as you do for him, because that’s what you do when you love each other. And lastly, never assume the other person knows what your thinking or how your feeling. You, or he, might just be having a bad day a need a little extra, or a little less, from each other…so be truthful and kind.
jeez…just do it yourself…then its done right the first time.
Take your new car and drive away from him.
Well he is a man, isn’t he?
A common male trait lol
You are stupid you need to put on your big girl pants and do that crap by your self and yes you can pick up a shovel and remove the snow and salt your walk way and drive way when that man is on his way out the door you need to be able to take care of yourself grow up
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If my husband is going somewhere with me he goes straight for the scraper and gets the ice and snow off while I get in the car and turn it on. If I’m going out myself I do it. Its not that hard. But I have alot of health problems and there have been a couple times I’ve asked him to do it even even here wasn’t going anywhere.
He carries the laundry to the car for me. Brings groceries in. There have even been many times that I’m hurting so bad that I call him when I get home so he can come out and help me into the house.
I ask him to do things for me alot of time he grumbles about it but he does it. Hes even said to me how many times have I ever actually said no to u?
You should’ve just asked him instead of hinting it. I think that’s why he was frustrated with you.
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Why is that a man’s job though just curious
I mean you said its “my caf” clean it your own damn self. Why do you need to depend on him to do anything??
Don’t assume just ask
No your not ridiculous! He knew it needed to be done otherwise he wouldn’t have come back with such a sarcastic comment. My husband would never watch me scrape ice from our windshield while he stayed in the warm car! Believe me, I do a lot of “things” for him without him having to outright ask!
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I definitely understand and spent waisted time being annoyed. I learned to ask for help. I think women are programed to do what needs to be done. Men don’t always think that way. When I ask he has no problem doing it.
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While I get annoyed with people fishing around, this is dumb. I don’t specifically ask for things and neither does he. We are attentive to each other. I don’t get mad if he doesn’t pick up on something, but geez.
If you want more “traditional” roles (he takes care of cars, outside etc. You take care of meals, housework etc.) then you need to make that clear to him.
I personally think you expecting him do that because he’s a man is ridiculous… but, my husband and I work as a team. I also have no problems asking him or telling him when I need his help.
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My Ex husband used to get up everyday for work and clean off his car then mine without me asking. But I would always let him know I appreciated it. Maybe he’s not feeling appreciated.
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Every relationship is different. Honestly, it’s probably just easier to talk with him and tell him you don’t think you should have to ask for thise type of things. He may want you to ask for hisnown reason. My hubby just does these things, but some things I ask for. It’s all about communication really
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My husband tries to jump in & do everything for me … I know it sounds like a weird thing to complain about, but sometimes I just want to cook by myself, or wash the dishes by myself, I don’t need him to take over. Many times I end up telling him that if I wanted help I would ask for it … It sounds like your husband doesn’t want hints or to make a mistake and fail to do something for you - so just be straight with him & tell him what you want. If he eventually realizes that he can surprise you by anticipating what you may ask, even better.
I get how it’s frustrating to ask, for sure. But; men are not usually wired to notice what needs done around them. It’s a female thing. You can attempt to change it, but honestly you’ll never really be able to 
time is better spent just accepting it and asking.
Also- men see a “statement” rather than “asking” as 1)passive aggressive and 2) a purposeful snide attack on them. Regardless of how it’s intended…it rarely is received in good faith.
When I had to get up earlier than my husband, I often clear his windshield. We are retired now and our neighbor often shovels our walk and steps.
My husband was a railroader, I learned very quickly, things like shoveling a car out, mowing the lawn (he always remowed, he doesn’t let anyone mow the yard) simple household fixes, painting rooms, etc.
If you want your relationship to look more traditional, talk to him about it. He takes care of outside stuff and you take care of inside stuff, no questions asked. But make sure you know what you’re signing up for, because the flip side of that coin is BIG and real. It’s easy for both sides to feel completely unappreciated because everything done is just expected of them. You have to be intentional about being thankful for the role he plays and accept that most days, you won’t receive praise or thanks. There are many ways to make a household work. Choose together what’s best for your family.
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My man has always been respectful and courteous so when he sees me heading for a door he opens it for me he always reaches out first even if he’s behind me he will always bring groceries in the house as much as he can so I don’t have to and he always helps with the kids getting them in and out of the car… I never have to ask him to step up because he just does it and he does these things because he wants to make sure I have less to worry about plus if he’s right there he sees no problem doing it to begin with he jumps at what needs to be done.
That’s weird and so are these comments to me. I’m in the south though. My husband takes care of all the car stuff and in the scenarios mentioned there’s no way I would have to ask him to help. He would already be on it. He would never expect me to fix the wipers and he would gladly do that for me without me asking.
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There was a time when men were instilled with foresight, life skills, and the genuine compassion for helping others. They would perform great acts of kindness without having to be asked. Those were great times. Thanks to radical feminism, the men of your generation have been destroyed and now can only perform tasks when told exactly how to execute the tasks. They are trained dogs so to speak, only the trained dog is a lot cheaper and a lot less headache.
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Idk…im a big girl and can wipe my own windshield…and even i stated to my S/O my wipers were stuck…not ask for help…then no i wouldnt expect him to just do it for me for stating the obvious…i can do it myself and do…if i need help i ask him for help…i dont think certain jobs are gender related or should be considered a certain persons job due to you being female and them male…or for them to know what you want by making comments about the wipers being stuck…idk i kinda feel if you been married and you know the man and he knows you why you randomly decide your not women enough to do it yourself…or you wont do it and he suppose to read your mind that he needs to do it when you comment on the issue…idk personally im a big girl and can do it myself…if i need help i actually ask my man for help when he has the time or can get to it…
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Sorry, you’re ridiculous. There is absolutely no reason you cannot do that stuff too. It is nice when it is done for you…but should not be expected. If that’s something that important to you…you need to sit down and explain that to him…because he isn’t a mind reader and probably has no clue you feel so strongly.
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I do it all myself I’m grateful we live in a house with a garage for both vehicles so we don’t have to worry about the ice and snow on our cars as for shoveling and salting pathways I do it myself my husband works crazy hours and is mostly out of town
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I hate to say this but if they were picking up new car at dealership why didnt the DEALERSHIP have the car ready?
As to the roles- if he asks you to ask him instead of assuming then thats his “way”. If you have another “way” bring it up. NEGOTIATE WITH HIM
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That’s something so easy you can do your self so maybe he feels like you don’t need help? But if you need help then ask. He can’t read your mind and I don’t think it’s a big deal.
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Some people get very upset at an implied question.
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My thought just goes to the point of why couldn’t you do it yourself and if you wanted him to do it then he’s not a mind reader so ask him but also if you are capable to drive then you are capable to move your wiper blades
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Men fucking piss me off with this shit. My husband does the same shit. Dont make me fucking ask when you clearly see the damn issue
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I ask, but I’ve had this problem too. Is there stuff he does without asking? Because he isn’t a mind reader and doesn’t have a catalog of what he’s supposed to do without asking. When I first started dating my boyfriend the only thing he did without me asking was take out the trash and I was tired of being house manager so I gave him a list of the things he has to do without asking if he notices things piling up. Dishes, Laundry, If he uses the last of something he has to let me know so I can buy more, etc. He isn’t bothered by it because he knows I’m doing my half of those things too. Honestly if you ask everytime, he’ll get in the habit of doing it himself anyways. (also men are particularly bad at this but it is NOT just men! I’ve dated women who are the same way 
)
Why can’t you just ask him?
What if this was reversed, and he was up on social media asking about why his wife doesn’t do certain things without being asked (when you have no idea that he wants these things done).
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Clear communication works so much better than hint dropping. Expecting your companion to intuitively know what you want will inevitably lead to disappointment, and hint dropping will only aggravate more.
Nothing should be expected. If he does it on his own, great! But you should never expect anything from anyone. Communication is key in a relationship. You should ask when you need help, not just expect it and then get mad when he doesn’t read your mind and do it for you…
Well, I have no problem with snow or ice really because I live in Georgia. I’m also very independent since mt husband is hardly ever home with him being a truck driver. So when I do ask for help he knows I absolutely need it.
Neither myself nor my husband like playing Blues Clues in our relationship. If you want something, say something. Otherwise you appear to have things handled all by yourself. You know, like an adult.
Also, I salt and shovel my own vehicle out because this mama doesn’t have time or money for a gym membership. A body in motion, stays in motion. I don’t need my husband taking over every single job because I am a woman. I can handle my own.
It sounds like maybe you want traditional gender roles and he wants, needs or expects you to do for yourself, to be independent. Y’all aren’t on the same page, you don’t have the same expectations in yourself as the other has in you. I hope this makes sense
Don’t think it’s a man’s job to do all the shoveling. If you’re capable then you should be able to do it yourself. Yes it would be nice if they offered to assist BUT don’t sit there and wait for it
I’ve read more of these comments and I’m sad for a lot of these relationships. I do everything I can to make my husbands days easier and he does the same for me. Y’all don’t have that??? 
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Try seeing it from his side. Maybe he’s sick of u just expecting him to do it. He might be ur man but using manners and asking him to help u not just DO IT for u might get u the help u seem to think ur entitled too.
What’s wrong with ur arms and hands why can’t u do it urself?
He’s ur partner not ur maid.
Its called team work not just as my man I shouldn’t have to ask… well clearly you are very miss informed about how give an take works.
I never asked either, just defrosted and took care of it myself. If I did ask he would definitely jump right in.
I’m confused why can’t you clean off your car? If you need help because you can’t physically do it and he’s aware of a disability then yes he should just do it but if you just think you shouldn’t have to because you are a girl then no ask nicely or do it yourself hes not your bitch or a mind reader he doesnt owe you anything
I learned to do things on my own when my husband was active duty, we are retired now and he mostly knows when something needs to be done but I just ask if I need help because none of us can read minds and what might be obvious to us may not be to them
Wow I just think that a man should respect his wife and just do it clearly he wasn’t doing anything important most men would just do it without hesitation because he cares
No, I also don’t wait for him so 
and he’s not a mind reader. He also knows if he gave me attitude like that, what he would get in return .
Imo just because he is a “man” doesn’t mean he automatically assumes the “role” this is 2020. Women work. Men cook. There are no roles unless you guys agreed to assume those roles.
You could see it needed to be done too 
get off your ass and stop expecting your partner to do all the work for you. If you need him to do things for you, ask like an adult.
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If I made thr statement that the wipers were stuck my man would just take care of it. But that’s just they type of person he is. Asking specifically doesnt hurt and I gets he needs you to be specific.
Maybe cause i didnt grow up with a dad it was just always me and my grandma for the longest time that i think this is kind of stupid, you want help ask for it, people arent mind readers
You are capable of doing these things as well and shouldn’t assume its a man’s job.
I guess my question is, why can’t you do those things? Why do you have to wait on him to do it?
I would suggest you make him start asking you to wash his clothes, wash dishes, buy groceries, etc.
Your hands broken? I am guessing not since you typed this question. Dont be “that woman”.
Yall need a conversation lol
Cuz you both see it differently
In his mind…he doesnt like the “beating around the bush”
If u want something…he thinks its funny that you wont ask but work around it with a statement!
And you feel like he should read you better.
Funny thing is
…if he knows what you’re doing…he already reads you pretty damn well…
Looks like he just maybe wants you to communicate with him about things you want.
Honestly…i notice when my husband beats around the bush lol
And i do the same things ur husband does lol
Seriously?! TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. What the actual hell. If you need or want something from your partner speak up! Don’t expect them to read or mind. Goodness
Sorry, but I dont see a problem in asking for help i do that with my man and my girls. Only step in, if they say so. 
Next time he wants to get laid tell him he needs to ask nicely. He’s playing games.
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I’m sorry but to me this seems really petty
Or you could just do it yourself🙄
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You get out of the car and unstick your wipers… He’s not your gofer. He’s your husband or SO. If you can’t take care of your car, don’t have one. Never EXPECT him to do things. IF he doesn’t things, thank him.
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men are clueless about what we want so they want direct communication lol
No most men would just do it
Why don’t you handle it?? Are you not a big girl? Women are constantly screaming equality and then play the damsel in distress.
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So you can’t do it???