Work opposite shifts so you can still do all that and help provide for the household.
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SSI takes a long time. My sons took well over 1 year. He was approved because he has autism. SSI is so complicated because they will only approve you if this is a life altering medical condition where he probably wonāt ever be able to live a ānormalā life. If eventually his diagnosis will lead to him being ānormalā and not disabled after healing they will deny you. So please donāt count on this as an income. However I would absolutely say bye to this man! Apply for food stamps, Medicaid (sure you have those two), housing assistance, child support, and cash assistance. Then tell him to kick rocks.
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That doesnāt sound like much of a partnership. If he still expects you to work and pay half of everything then he should share half the responsibilities of your son so you can go to work too. Where does he expect you to get money from? 
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Social Security disability has a game they love to play with the sick and needy. When you apply the first time they ALWAYS ALWAYS deny it. They also give a time limit to re-apply. Miss the date and you are back to the 1st step. Definitely get a disability lawyer to help you. Yes he gets a cut but it is better than fighting for a year on your ownā¦you think you are stressed now. You should definitely go to the Department of Social Services and try for helpā¦food stamps, medical, cash assist with billsā¦not sure where you live but sometimes they get their lawyer busy to help with Social Security. Cheaper for them in the long run. Do you get child support for the 5 year old? If not, Family Court/Child Services can help you get some if it is possible.
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No you should not have that responsibility, especially if youāre not able to work. Might as well be a single parent
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Why not apply for food stamps and cash assistance. I mean it doesnāt hurt to try and see if you qualify. I get food stamps. Right now Iām still paying rent till I stop working. The itās all gonna build in my bf. But my family has a business that Iāll be helping out as well so that we donāt stay behind. And it doesnāt overwhelm my bf. And with my side job that I had started during covid. (I sell Mary Kay product).
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Girl kick his ass to the curb and go apply for benefits
Sounds like a constructive breakup to me. He makes your life so difficult you choose to leave him, just so he doesnāt look bad for dumping you.
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How does he expect you to pay the bills if youāre not working? If heās saying you need to go back to work then who does he expect is going to watch your child and get him to all of his appointments? I think you need to sit him down and have a serious chat with him. Does he not understand how sick your baby is and that he needs speciality care? Maybe you could work part time when heās home IF heās going to provide proper care for your child while youāre at work but he sounds like a selfish ass so I doubt he would.
And this man claims to love youā¦ thatās a sure sign he doesnāt or your child. Wow
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Show him the door and send the child support bill to him. Let the government deal with him.
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Take him to court for child support 
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Wow, is he your partner or housemate?
Get rid of him heās trash.
Ditch that " Dad" asap
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Ask what heād do if you got hit by a car and died tomorrow. How would he manage then? Listen and donāt interrupt. If he says, āI donāt knowā and shuts down, tell him to think about it and that youāll talk about it next week. Donāt give him a specific day/time for him to weasel out of it. You can couch it as a discussion about what you want to do if anything should happen to either of you.
OTOH, maybe be heās focused on money because the rest of the situation scares him out of his mind but he feels he canāt be emotional as a guy. Money problems are almost always cover for something deeper. Heās probably freaked out by potential costs and the heavy responsibilities of taking care of two children.
Keep talking to him and asking him questions. Tell him how you feel and ask him if he ever feels that way. He may feel responsible and guilty for his sonās problems or scared heās destined to produce children with severe medical problems/disabilities and canāt face that. Assure him itās just life, but maybe check into genetic counseling on both sides.
Maybe both of you join a parents group for kids with similar problems that can be a support and provide information and hope for you both. And/or get family counseling. You are dealing with a lot of stress and a pro could help you process it and work together better.
Give it time, and when things are more stable and youāve gotten some help and resolution on both the medical and emotional stress, think more about your relationship and what you want for the future, and the pros and cons of staying with him.
Sending positive, healing chi to all four of you, and prayers to the universe for healing your minds, bodies and souls. Best of luck!
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Thatās so tough. My daughter has Help for hirschsprung disease and we never got any SSI. Honestly, I just started working, 5 years later. Itās a long tough battle. If I didnāt have my husbands income, oh crap. We are blessed. Itās tough going in and out of the hospital. Expensive. Can you apply for benefits? Cash aid? Low income? Child tax credits? Apply for anything you can get! Go fund me. Next, I say you have a serious talk about your finances. I would be honest with him and tell him youāll just collect as a single parent. Because thatās what a single parent does. Pays for everything. He is so disrespectful to you both. He made that child. Pay up. I imagine youāre in & out of the hospital full time with the baby. He probably doesnāt even switch out? Nope. Donāt do that. Hold him accountable. Go be strong and tell him your job is to keep that baby alive! Itās stressful but youāll survive. Reach out for support. People will help you. We are here.
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Absolutely not. If you have no income you shouldnt have to pay for half the bills especially since youāre paying for everything for the children yourself.
Absolute insanity to expect you to still be able to pay half of the rent and bills with no income and throwing out money on everything for the kids like you are
Tell him to nut up or shut up because youāre trying to find some kind of income and he can cover that while you cover the kids
Apply for indigent care at the hospitals, labs, and any doctors offices to be written off.
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SSI takes up to 5-8 months to review the case they gotta call Drs get paperwork all that can be a year before they call you to set things up.
Iām on SSI I donāt work I stay home take care of my son who needs around the clock care as well. My fiance works but we both pitch in he needs to understand when a kid needs care someone dose need to be home a parent who know the kid even better. I agree with you on this itās not easy but youāre being a good mom by taking care of him.
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You need a real man!
Um, no. You just had his baby. Real men take care of their babies and their SO. If he canāt do that then bill him for surrogacy. Seriously. He owes you. Not the other way around.
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Pretty sure thatād be considered financial abuse and then neglect since he wonāt support the child
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Talk to dhs they should be able to guide you to programs that can help
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leave him or kick him out go solo poor little baby thank the Lord hes too young to realise his donor is an ah-sol
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Throw the whole man out 
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This is so awful how dare he!
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Tell him to take it out of his child support payment
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I also have a child who had enlarged kidneys, imperforate anus and was in the nicu! Iāve been there with all the dr appts and worry!
As far as the soā¦ sounds like financial abuse to me.
Sounds like an asshole. Sorry! Harsh but thatās his child too and your his partner. Team work. I canāt he can. He canāt u can. Ya know. Sending u love
How does he expect you to pay for anything when you have no income ?
Maybe you should go back to work ā¦then heād be responsible for childcare when he was home 
.
Hopefully you get benefits sorted out quickly and quite honestly I think youād be better alone . Hes acting like a very spoiled child
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Does he pay for anything for his child? He sounds more like a roomate. Raising a child is a partnership, unless you are a sinlge parent. Sounds like he isnt treating it as such.
He sounds cold
He is a selfish fuck and will let you down.
If he wants 50/50 ask when heāll be starting his half of the child care
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Find a babysitter that would be able to help you with the kids and go find yourself a job.
Yes you should help out with bills you live there too. I have 5 kids with appts very often for them and me. As a mom you just have to call out of work or let them know youāll be late
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I have literally no words to describe this āmanā. I am speechless 
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Throw him out and child support fast
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He should be paying half the expenses for his child. Including taking the child to appointments. Dial 211 from any phone, they can refer you for help. Also ask the hospital, they will have a Social Worker whose job is to help families navigate aid.
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Tell him youāll be starting your only fans today, since you need to be home with your baby but also making money. What a douche.
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Yes, there are TONS of work from home jobs ! No excuse to be unemployed. My son was a preemie and he still has issues and is 10 months old now and Iāve never not worked.
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So let me get this straightā¦ your baby have been born with severe medicals conditions and ofcourse needs constant careā¦and all he cares about is money? Like Kelly-Anne Louise Hind saidā¦ say u will go back to work once he does his fair share of the appointments and child care
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My partner and I have a joint account and we share everything. I have 2 young children and donāt work so naturally he pays for most things and never moans or suggests otherwise. Babyās dad sounds like a bit of a d!ck he should be happy your home with your baby! X
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Tell him you will gladly pay half the bills if he does half the childcare and appointments so he can work part time and you can work part time. Canāt expect you to pay half on no income and deal with all that on your own
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Try applying for state aide. Food stamps, rent assistance, etc. you might be able to claim your child as disability since he has medical issues. Who knows, the state insurance might cover bills for him along w medicines. As for your ābfā If he wants you to still pay half- then you tell him fine everything is split down the middle- including split visits to take child to doctor visits. If he canāt afford to take off work to take his child to necessary doc visits, take time to do his half of grocery shopping then Iād say bye Felecia. Take that asshat to court for child support- and also demand he pay medical half bills for child if you all have private insurance
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If you were paying half before, and were expected to go back to work after having your baby to continue pay half, maybe heās stressing trying to figure out how heās unexpectedly supposed to cover everything when it wasnāt planned for on just his income before. I get you have an unplanned situation with your baby, but bills have to get paid still.
Honestly, youāll probably have to compromiseā¦ get a job, take turns taking time off for doctorās appointments (him included since you have to work to pay half). If childcare is an issue as well, heāll have to help pay half, or work with you on taking jobs with opposite schedules so you can switch off. Itās not impossible, itās just going to be difficult
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This breaks my heart. It should not be this way, and itās sad that itās been fairly normalized in society. I think youāre going to find that being on your own may be better. He sounds like a real jerk to me.
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Tell him youāll trade places.
Complete with worries, exhaustion etc.
He wont last a week and it should shut him up very quickly.
Just a mental note - men battle - and i mean REALLY battle to accept a child they help create is imperfectnin any way. They do their best not to show it, but it is there. That along with bills he thought would be shared is probably mentally concerning him quite severely.
So i stick by my suggestion, its the quickest most painless way for him to wake up
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Its nearly impossible for one person to support a household on one income. You also have another child that is not his that you have to support so get out and get something
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You could go serve somewhere 2 or 3 nights a week and make 100-200 a night. At least itāll be a little something. Yeah youāre stressed, but he could be stressing as well trying to support all of you by himself. Iām not saying that you need to pay half. But if heās willing to be with his child for a few hours and in return you can help some and get a little break. I think you both need to compromise and pull together in this hard time.
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He needs to pay half of all medical bills. Itās his kid too. Divorce him. Get on medicaid. You can get paid by the state to care for him plus ssi and child support and the court might make him pay for half his care or attach his wages.
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What a horrible position to be in. Youāre already putting in more than half into the relationship, if you have to pay bills and rent too then why stay with him? You do a lot momma and donāt let this low vibrational man make you feel like you donāt. The fact that you still buy groceries and whatever the baby needs is above and beyond what you should be doing. I understand the economy is what it is, but thatās no excuse to be such an unsupportive partner/father.
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Wtaf?!?! Youāre caring for his son!!! He chose to be with you and you come with a child!!! Doesnāt matter if itās his child or not. Iām sorry youāre going through this. He needs to be a man not a boy!
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Who will watch the baby if you go bsck to work ?
Sounds with the baby s medicsl stuff he may need special child care?
Sounds like day care may be more costly than working ?
Boy . . Can you work remotely?
Billās still gotta be paidā¦Talk with your partner ā¦weigh pros & cons of working ā¦Good luck
If my daughter was in this situation I would encourage her to maybe enter into a marriage with a man who knows how to love and honor his family by providing for them as a man should. Apparently you are not his other half you are a roommate who owes him for half of everything. I donāt know where relationships have taken a wrong turn through the years but apparently many couples have gone right over the edge of the cliff!!! 
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you should move in with family if thatās an option. iām sorry youāre going through this. the most important job youāll ever have is being a mommy and i applaud you for making your child your #1 priority. good luck x
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Gees. Thatās cold hearted.
You need to get a new roommate, because thatās the value heās obviously placing on your relationship.
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Wait a minuteā¦this his son right??? Whoās watching baby when you work?
If itās financial can you work remotely from home to gain income.
I sat at home 2 years he didnāt fix his mouth to say a thing to me about paying anything.
Iām sorry but i would sit down and hold serious conversation as to why he feels you need to work
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Just find help and go. It wonāt get better. He resents you being home. You need to go for your kidsā sake.
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Absolutely notā¦ If you have to stay home to take care of your child and you have no income because of that there is no reason why you should pay half the rent/billsā¦ Iād leave and be happy without your boyfriend because he doesnāt care about you or his babyā¦ Iām sorry you have to deal with thatā¦ Good luck!
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If you have applied for ssi for yourself, thatās probably why youāre getting no where. Youāll get somewhere a lot quicker by amplifying for your kid first, then yourself once that is done. Your kid has a lot of health problems so far and itāll go through a lot quicker for them, giving you something to contribute before yours bets approved
Also, no uou shouldnāt have to pay uour half as you literally are doing all the hard stuff for your family already.
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He needs to do WHATEVER he can to hold yāall down. Providing for the family he helped to create is his natural, God-given responsibility. Idk what he does for a living, but he needs to get a second job or get a better paying one, even if it means switching careers or more hours. My husband works 65 hour weeks so I can raise our child, yours can do the same. And you need to be getting child support for your older child. These fathers need to be stepping up!
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He should be helping with appointments and baby expenses so you can work. I agree he should be paying for everything while you canāt work but what about your other kid? Is that kids dad on child support? Itās not the bf responsibility to cover the expenses of the other child. That kids dad should be contributing to their care too.
Maybe you can work at night while the bf is home with the kids or do a work from home job. There are other govt programs that can help like Food Stamps and Tanf.
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Honestly ? Do you live together as partners or house mates. Thatās his son too I gather. So he should be helping you out by paying the rent and bills while you are trying to keep your baby alive. Sounds like you could be better off without him and getting government assistance to find a home and financial help.
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Sonās dad so not bf/husband? If heās not I can understand this though itās still cold hearted. But if thatās the case everything should be split equally including parental responsibilities allowing you the ability to work. As well as the babyās expenses and groceries too. If he is your bf/husband I hope not for much longer cause in this dynamic where it seems you are doing all or nearly all the appts/child care then he should be finically supporting his family.
Sounds like you do a lot already!! Tell him youāll pay half when he cleans & cooks half the time & care for the children half the time. If he really wanna go halfās
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What!!? I am so sorry mama!! NO you shouldnāt have to pay any bills. Your āJobā right now is to take care of your son and household. The fatherās job is to work and take care of bills and be emotionally supportive to your son and yourself. During times like these it takes a team!!!
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Wow what a cold hearted SOB!! No, he is a father now. He took your son on too and he should be providing for his family.
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U should tell him youāll gladly go back to work if he stays with the kiddos and do what you are doing and in top of that he needs to come up with his half see if he likes it having a newborn baby can be stressful now with what is going on in sure you are very overwhelmed along with being a mom to your other kiddo and a wife and house chores and cooking if he canāt understand that he is not a man
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How are you able to buy all the groceries and everything for you and your kids now? Iām guessing child support from the 5 year old? And he also wants you to pay half of everything elseā¦ Iām not sure what to say. I understand paying bills is really hard on one incomeā¦but, having a child with medical problems is even worse. Itās not like you could just put that baby in any old daycare either. And from what I gather, he doesnt seem like the type who would want to babysit his own kid after he gets home from work so you could go work. Keep trying with ssi. It might take a while, but youāll get backpay to when you first applied. I suggest seeing if you could stay with family members or your parents or find all the info you can on assistance for single mothers bcā¦I dont think this kind of situation would get any better.
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Sorryā¦not sorryā¦ He better get a second jobā¦or get a better oneā¦ He honest sounds like a boyā¦ not a man. Honestlyā¦ If possibleā¦ I would leave and go live with familyā¦ Imo, Iād def leave him.
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Start charging him for child care, house cleaning, meal preps, cooking, grocery shopping, and his laundry. I bet heāll change is tune quicklyā¦ or youāll have your part of the rent, which ever he chooses. With an infant with health problems I would trust no one else with him without my supervision. Itās hard at first but itās also temporary. Once heās big enough and the dr says itās time they will correct his intestinal issues and he will be ok. Lots of care and support
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I feel as a couple who had kids together no you shouldnāt right now if itās something you guys agreed on.
If you have no income how do you buy food and baby stuff. So I feel like you do have some type of income so maybe help with smud or cell phones?
But this one a something you have to agree on a s a couple
My hubby and I agreed when we started having kid I wouldnāt work till the go to school full time then back to work but even then my checks always went into saving and he paid the bills.
Iām sorry to hear about your son I couldnāt imagine having to deal with that
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Unpopular opinion: You make it work for your kids. Heās asking for help from you, donāt bash him for it. I think you should start looking for part time work and contribute. Even if you cannot do 50/50, itās a lot better than nothing. I donāt think heās an awful person to ask that of you. Itās a lot to expect someone to cover EVERYTHING financially. The baby is three months old now, tons of assistance programs for daycare, and appointments can be scheduled around work. As a mom of a medically needy (now 4 year old.) It can be done.
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Bloody hellā¦ please leave and be a single parent. So much better financially. I feel really sorry for you. Have you got relatives to help you?
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Oh myā¦ tell him to trade roles then, make him figure it out with no income as he runs around to appointments.
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Possible unpopular opinion but life does not stop because of this new lifestyle change with the baby. Will it be hard? Hell yesā¦ will it seem impossible? Hell yesā¦but would you rather be paying all the bills by your lonesome or giving half? If you and him were to break up right nowā¦what would you do so you can stay afloat in your own home? Your getting unemployment plus the extra benefits until those run out, that has to be something. Apply for whatever assistance that you can get. Some help is better than none. Talk to him and come to a compromise where it works out for the whole house. Maybe not half on rent but pay electric, phone, internetā¦ something to take to pressure off both of you. Men donāt say much about these things because they are EXPECTED to be the provider but ask him what heās feeling and what can help him to help you and vice versa. Keep ur head up mamaā¦
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Yet again I will say you live together you have kids together and Iād assume working for your future together why is anything separate? Why do people worry about paying half put everything together and if he wants help let him care for the kids for a few hours a week and get a part time job nothing should be on one person yāall need to work together for the common goal
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Ew, throw The Whole boy away.
The problem here is that you said you have 2 kids. When you actually have 3 mam ā¦
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What you need to do is find a REAL Manā¦ Period!
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The comments saying bills continue no matter what kinda blow my mind. Talk to an in-home care company and get pricing for the job youāre doing, taking care of a special needs child. Then use those prices and send his ass the bill for half of what you do. Make him pay for his own groceries. Nickel and dime everything and see how he responds to reality. In the mean time apply for absolutely any benefit you can, food stamps, bills help, WIC. If youāre not married youāll qualify for a lot. Apply for income based housing too. Even if you donāt end up leaving him completely, you having a cheap place to stay and living separately is probably a very smart option. And the waiting list for those places is long, you can always tell them you pass when they finally get to you. My husband and I had talked a lot and agreed he would cover the bills the first year of our daughters life. Prior to having her I paid the majority without complaint. Then he completely mentally checked out when I was pregnant, my daughter was a little premature and he wasnāt involved with her whatsoever until over a year later (Iām a persistent bitch and didnāt want my daughter to be fatherless). I moved out when she was 2 months old and I was still covering a majority of the bills to a house neither my daughter or I lived in for months. I ran through all my savings and then found a job and started working again. I would love to hear what your sons fathers plan would be if you started working full time.
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Time to sit down and have a heart to heart, he chose you and the child you already have and chose to create another with you. While yes understandable if heās stressing paying everything himself but he needs to be mindful of the stresses youāre undertaking yourself. There may be changes you all need to make as a whole for survival so to speak. If he canāt and/or wonāt try to understand, compromise, and try to help come up with and achieve some sort of solution as hard as I know itās going to be you need to figure out a way to load up and get out of that very toxic situation. If you end up coming up with solutions together then God bless you all and well wishes all around.
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When one is down the other picks up&visa versa. Thatās what a living relationship does.
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Unpopular opinion, but when you say your sons dad, it sounds as if you are saying you are not in a relationship, even though you are living in the same house. Sounds like you are on centerlink, and only housemates.
If that is the case you are a.ready getting payments for both kids plus rent assistance.
Make up your mind what type of relationship you class it as. Is he your husband, partner, or just a sperm donor
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Obviously he is a boy. Be straightforward with him. He has a commitment to you and those kids. He signed up for this!
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Wwwwhhhaaaattt???..who does he expect to care for HIS child!?? He should be grateful to have someone willing to do so much for their child. Least he can do is cover the bills. Iād leave thatās ridiculous. Iām single momma of 4 living on disability. Once you get qualified for it it is totally manageable to stay home with your child. Iād like more income yes but my children need me home right now.
Have you applied for TANF, SNAP, WIC, and section 8 in your state? Apply for all of that and medicaid for yourself and your child.
He sounds like a jerk. He may be worried about what heās going to do, but you were pregnant for 9 months and that was time enough for him to get a second job or a better job if that was the issue.
My advice after marrying a shitty boyfriend is to take care of you and your kids and if he still fits in the picture, great, but you will be doing this alone, so get prepared.
Fill out the FAFSA and try to go back to school. Grants and loans helped me financially when I had my first child.
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You could work at night when he gets home. I know this is a terrible situation. But you all need to survive. 2 kidsā¦a family of 4ā¦in todayās world. unless heās bringing in 6 figuresā¦you will have to figure it out.
You had a baby with a bumā¦twice. Sorry, but you have to choose better men to be with. No, the babyās father should be providing food and shelter for his child as long as the need is there. Sorry your baby is sick.
Iām sorry this is a reality for you and a lot of people unfortunatelyā¦having to make these decisions is so toughā¦ I have no opinion on the billsā¦ I just wish you so many blessings, financially & mentally for your health & peace of mind. Sending so much love your way! Hang tf in there mama.
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I know for us we moved into our place knowing that we would both need to work to be here. I got really sick a few months ago and I lost my job and now itās all on him. I had some money saved and Iāve been helping as much as I can but I know I need to find work or we have to move. Iāve been diagnosed with a disease though and i have no idea if I will be able to work again. It might be a good idea to think about moving or renting out one of your rooms to some one
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Talk to a home health care provider. They will help you or at least point you in the right direction. Talk to your hospital about financial aid. They have staff just for that.
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Show him day care costs, and im sure he will let a lot of it go. Daycare for an Infant is pricey.
Having a baby is hard work all in itself, having a baby with special needs is even harder. Child care is expensive, and even if you worked full time, it would literally be handing over pretty much your whole paycheck to pay that bill. Unless he agrees to step up to the plate to be a team taking care of children while the other works. My husband and I both had jobs with 2 kids and took turns working and watching our kids so we didnāt have to pay for childcare. We barely ever saw each other, only at bedtime, and it sucked. Heād get off work, and Iād run out the door to go to work. Before we had our 3rd child he got promoted to a full time management position, and I was able to stay home with our kids. Bills are stressful when you donāt make enough to live comfortably. So I understand if he is feeling that pressure taking care of everyone.
If he wants everything to be 50/50 then tell him he can start sharing the responsibility of taking yalls son to the doctor so you can get a job.
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Show that man how much care for a special
Needs infant is. Not every day care can care for a special needs child.
Might want to find free help in filing for assistance for the child.
Really sorry to hear this, not sure if I know any help but maybe worth a shot have you looked into DLA. Itās easy to say leave but much harder to do. Inbox open for anyone anytime, smile mumma xx
If he wants to help take on half the duties with your infant while there are way more appts and duties then sure. It means you can get a job or even discuss you having to work nights when there is no doctor appts. But he has to help pick up the slack. If you work at 7p-3a type deal and make some appts specifically for the afternoon so you can cover those but he has to help with the time you need to sleep. Especially if money is really tight and heās just needing you to help cover the bills. Or maybe apply for some help through your state.
Depends if with his payroll he can afford keep paying everything. IF if happens to us we would not afford to pay with one job
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