I agree with some of the other comments. He is probably stressed trying to figure out how to pay everything with just his paycheck. You might have to get a job with a schedule that’d opposite of his so you can trade off, if that makes sense. Regardless of the situation, the bills have to get paid. Its going to be difficult and challenging but its been done many times.
Definitely don’t agree with everyone attacking the man… Expecting someone to cover all bills, costs, work all day, and have the energy to help you is damn near impossible with just one income.
If you don’t have the money to pay half, then you don’t have it and he needs to figure something out 
Guys these days smh my ex did this too I was in the hospital dying and then recovering from a major surgery where I was cut open vertically and he still wouldn’t get a job we wound up living in an rv
A husband should support his wife through this or stay home and do it while you work. What is the point of being married if you aren’t a team??
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You dont mention if he is doing his part to support the child, and you also do not mention if the child was planned? If this was an unplanned pregnancy and he has not got a sufficient income then who do you expect him to turn to for support? You are BOTH the parents, thereforeThe child/bills/rent and your own well being is both of your responsibility. Nobody else.Every adult knows the risks involved when having a child and knows there could be medical issues along the way, so to bring a child into this world in this day and age, and then expect someone else to financially support you. Different story if you sat down and spoke to him about it to try and come t an agreement but your post indicates you downright just expect it of him because he is the father, parent-up and take responsbility for your child too, aint no one else in the world responsible for this decision
Sweetie go to your local welfare where I am from in Massachusetts we call it DTA you can get immediate financial assistance as well as food stamps that come on an EBT card there are many programs that you can apply for right now forget about them whoever you’re staying with right now it is about your baby and you. There is also a program right now the CTC program child tax credit where if a parent has not worked you can apply on the IRS website and receive $300 a month starting July 15th for a child under the age of 6 over the age of six is 250 a month we have to apply through their portal online no strings attached you don’t have to pay them back you don’t have to have a work history if you have not worked if you do you can also claim it as well. Get yourself financially situated my love worry about nobody else just you and your baby. You have my prayers from one mom who struggles alone to another do whatever you need to do. You don’t owe anybody anything you should be receiving some help right now not having to beg or barter for it.
What a scumbag.Ask him to get a second job.You looking after kids if one kid has all these problems he should understand its his baby too
You can’t pay shit out of shit, if he won’t pay it all you should start setting up other living arrangements
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We need to vote for the people who will help average Americans others countries get 40+ weeks paid leave but Americans don’t want those types of benefits calling it socialism.
Wow…people are so mean when it comes to a very one sided story.
I’m in a similar situation. My son was born with some differences. He requires a lot of attention and appts. I also have a 5 and 7 year old at home. We …can NOT…survive on my husband’s income alone. He makes great money but our mortgage and bills all require both incomes. So I found a job that I can work from home 3 days a week and when I’m in the office I have help from my parents as well as I found a daycare. Your babies father is probably freaking out at the possibility of losing everything. So get creative, maybe work opposite hours as your babies dad or find a job that you can work from home at least partly so your not paying to much childcare. People have to chill when it comes to one sided stories and try to give advice based on that and not bashing a man whom nobody knows.
Are you together? Was the arrangement 50/50 before… If you’re not a couple, you can see where… If you were 50/50 before, this might be hard for him to carry the entire load… I’m not saying he’s right, if you’re a couple and due to your child’s medical… You need to be a SAHM, y’all do need to discuss this. Because clearly you can’t, and you may not want to hear it, but if he is so not understanding of all the difficulties you are going through… Then he’s not for you. It’s easy for a man to be great when everything is sunny, but you need him to be great during the storms too, and that’s where many partners fail. This is his child too, and it is never planned for the child to be ill. So unless he’s going to pull half his weight in the drs appts… And cleaning… Cooking… Child rearing of both… Counting in you’ll probably need childcare as well (even the best laid plans of hrs coordinating, will have snags) He’d better figure a way to get another income out there … him working another job or… if you two are not a couple then him providing everything is not his job🤷🏽♀️, sorry… Providing for his child, yes. Just like your 1st child’s father wouldn’t be responsible for covering what a 2nd child needs, so any money coming for the 1st is supposed to be going too… We’re not there we have no idea if he is truly being unreasonable or not… But you are there, and if he really is maybe see if you can get help from your family while you get yourself on your feet. Sorry, a partner in your corner who isn’t really… Ain’t worth it. And no more making babies with said person either. Good luck.
So because you had a child you dont think you should have to pay bills? Who would pay your bills if you were a single mom? YES you have to pay your share!
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I’m confused. How does he expect you to pay bills with no income???
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I don’t mean to be rude although it appears you chose the wrong man to father your child. How does he expect you to pay?
I’d get a lawyer to file your ssi for you. They don’t charge unless they get you approved and trust me they want to do that so they get paid.maybe find a job around your significant others job. So if he works days you work evenings. Or days on his days off. It’s a tough time for you all. But may I ask if you buy all the groceries and baby needs how are you paying for that without any money as you stated? I was paying the bills when my SO wasn’t working. It’s stressful trust me. It’s easier and less stress when two incomes are coming in. I understand you are taking care of your son. I also did that with my baby having health issues and tons of appointments I was a single mom I worked had a million travel appointments and I was going part time to college and paying bills by myself. I struggled I was stressed but I did it. I found a babysitter I trusted to watch my son when I worked and went to school. I worked around all the appointments and my school. I did miss alot of work however my job was amazing to me. I barely paid bills and needs were just met. But I did it. It’s mind set too momma. You can do anything you put your mind to it takes work support and trust. And it will pay off. You do what you feel is right. But there are answers and solutions you just have to do it. And if you feel a certain way towards your S.O talk to him and if he doesn’t get it or you’re feeling angry resentful think about how you want to live and if the change is him then say bye
Your son’s dad sounds like a complete jerk.
Apply for Ssi for the kiddo that has alot of health issues it’ll still come to u for him.
I mean if you were paying half before I can see where he’s coming from
Jenn Pur Pur thank you! Something isn’t right with this man and I’m using that term loosely. Red flags all over the place.
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Not much of a man, is he ?
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He’s most likely stressing about the fiance’s. If he moves out you pay 100% of it it all anyway
I’m praying for your precious babies and you. You shouldn’t have to pay half.
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What’s he going to do if you don’t?
This makes me so angry for you.
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How are you supposed to pay bills if you have no income?
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So I won’t bash your man that you chose to make a baby with. I won’t tell you to leave him.
I will tell you he is probably just as stressed as you are. Maybe he just can’t swing it all himself. Maybe he is just making it and the stress of making sure an you guys don’t get an eviction notice for you guys and your new baby is a lot for him. I’m not saying it should be 50/50 but do try to see it from his point of view. Life isn’t black and white and what works in your relationship might not work for others. I just feel like having a 100 woman telling you your man ain’t shit and to leave is wrong. We all have to pay bills regardless of having a child or not. The due date for bills will always be there.
It is not fair to stick the responsibility of finances 100 percent on him if he just can’t do it. And its not fair for him to not help with the babe(although I didn’t read that is wasn’t helping just that you did the majority, which is true in most peoples homes)
This is a super stressful time for you both, stick together, be a team and build your empire together. If you guys love eachother keep choosing to make it work. I really do wish you guys the best!
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Team work! He should understand why you can’t work… if u buy all the food then ur putting in something… if he couldn’t work you would have his back
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Sure, tell him you expect him to stay home half of the time and take the child to half of the appointments by himself. You know, so you can work. Clearly he doesn’t appreciate the full time job you already have taking his child.
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Im Sorry it sounds like your “man” is a… ( not gonna say it because i dont want to get another 30 day ban)
Wow! Never would i imagine a man being so petty as to say you need to split everything 50/50 while your child needs extra care! R u kidding me? Sorry but if he was my bf or husband he’d be kicking rocks!
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No , my boyfriend tried telling me that and I said I can leave if you want a roommate cause you’re supposed to be the MAN WHO PROVIDES FOR US of course when I do get money I help with whatever for our home and kids and if I have extra I give him to use towards Bill’s but definitely not constantly or consistently. Daycares charge WAY MORE buying food cooked is alot ( if you cook for him and he dont cook himself, a maid is alot If you clean the house I made him take ALL that into consideration especially if he isn’t helpful ( I’m just assuming hes not )
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Go get a quote for daycare, that will scare him 
Baby the fact that you even have to ask is the answer
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That’s not right. You’re caring for his child. He needs to man up and take care of his family.
The Cares Act has some covid relief right now. You can probably get your house payment or car payment put into deferment for a few months until you can get on your feet again. You’re both going through a very stressful and scary time. You’ve got to communicate though.
Kick him out. Demand child support. Apply for secfion 8. A friend of my mom gets paid for staying home and taking care of her daughter that is handicapped by the state. Honestly your better off financially if he isn’t in the picture anyway. You’d qualify for alot more.
That doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship or him being very supportive. I have not worked since the school’s closed, I’m a school bus driver and my husband has never said one thing to me about paying half of anything. That is not what a relationship is about, if you love someone you put their needs before your own even if that means you go without.
Some ladies here.
If you were paying 1/2 the bills before the baby & planned on going back to work? I can see why he’s thinking this way. Now he’s scrambling to pay of everything! His Job might not be enough. He may have to get a 2nd job to cover everything. Where does that leave him? Oh wait in the trash where you ladies want him.
He can ask his employee if you live in the states for FLMA. Its not paid BUT it can give him 8-12 weeks at home. So you can possibly look to see what your family might qualify for help. That’s if he is eligible for it. You can get SSI-D for your child! If you’re applying for it & get denied? Ask if his Doctor can help you fill it out. Or a caseworker at the Hospital. Reapply! They always like to denie first!
Youre going to have to talk to him & see what you can. But expecting him to pay 100% of everything & actually talking to him. Especially if you were working before this! Isnt going to help you. Your child’s health is also his child’s health, too. Hes could be a wreck & you don’t even know it. Having a special needs child is not easy & its very hard. You clearly dont talk about this.
Now? What are you going to if he decides to leave. Stuck with 2 kids because 1 of them isn’t his.
Tell him to go suck an egg
Tell him you’ll make an onlyfans 
since he wants to act like this !
Find something part time and help with them. Maybe not half bc you’ll still have to be supermom. But at least make something to help if it’s a big deal. 
He’s not a real man… SNS… There’s nothing else to be said…
You’re taking care of HIS child that requires constant care! I’m sorry, but he’s a complete jerk.
Hell no. He needs to GROW UP. You’re taking care of his baby. HE SHOULD PAY 100%
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Leave his ass and file for child support. Sounds like a POS.
Wow what 
father. Make him pay for his sick child if you don’t have an income it should go without saying!
Hell NO! Like the lady below said. Switch places gladly. He’ll go back to work within a week without a fight.
Doesn’t sound like loving partner…
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Tell him to get a second job
Nah he’s being horrible to you! Walk away if it’s possible.
I mean I’m just putting it out there that there are a ton of resources and government assistance for single moms until they get on their feet. 
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Absolutely you should pitch in and pay some bills. Even a part time job is better than not contributing at all.
With all the medical bills piling up I’m sure it’s becoming a burden on your partner. In today’s day and age a family needs 2 incomes…
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I’m sorry to have to tell you this but I’m going to keep it 
! My son also was born with kidney disease and spent months in the hospital and I never left his side ! I have been there for day one ! Tell that lazy POS to man up and take care of his ! I have been doing everything for my son 10 years by myself with no support at all ! Raise up queen 
Loose that jerk.
You shouldn’t have to pay anything you had his son and he either needs to step up or you file child support on his ass.
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Does he eat the food you buy?? Clean up the house or wash clothes??
Id tell him youre going to go apply for child support. Tell him he isnt to eat any of you and your kids food unless he provides half the cost of groceries you spend. He needs to give u half the cost for gas and time u are at your bbs drs appointments as well
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Unpopular opinion:
Say things don’t work out with yall and you end up having to figure it out as a single mother… then what?
Paying bills is part of being a functioning adult. Single moms with sick kids do it all the time. I did. It’s not easy and it’s not fun, but it’s life.
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He’s an ass!!! I agree with the other women above leave his ass and apply for help! I’ve dealt with similar crap for 8 years!
It only gets worse!!! Be brave momma!!!
He is a grown man, first of all why are u paying half of ya together? It should be he got or u do. A man is supposed to provide by any means he knew a baby could bring unsuspecting issues but that’s when u step up or ya can go half with appointments and ect
Go ahead and get a price on how much it would cost to have a full time care-taker for your child. Then show your ‘roommate’ how much that would cost vs how much you’d make working full time.
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Find a new partner. What a douche bag. You have a sick child. Your priority is that child.
Unless you have a family member or friend you trust him with, while you work even p/t, I wouldn’t leave him until he is given a clean bill of health.
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If he can’t support and provide for his family in time of need than you don’t need him.
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I’m sure he’s not tryign to be unfair … he’s probably overwhelmed with bills yes it’s hard but one income is just not enough now a days . I know babies cost a lot but bills are probably more tbh .
He could be struggling to make the ends meet. Sit down and talk to him. If he wants you to split the bills, then he has to split the childcare, including your son. Meaning working separate shifts. You should not pay 1/2 of the Bill’s until you are working full time but $300-$500 a month towards the Bill’s would help. BUT ONLY IF HE IS WATCHING THE CHILDREN while you work.
I don’t think you should have to pay half. Considering the circumstances. If there’s a tough time going around for him also, I think you both can figure something out way better. Holding you financially responsible during this time, that’s not even renters are doing to their tenants. So it’s a dick move. Imo
1st of all I’m so very sorry for all that your baby has gone thru, and I really hope he gets better soon:pensive: get a lawyer, and as for ur boyfriend/ husband that is so beneath a person to have the nerve to want you to pay half of rent and watever else? good luck! to you both I really hope things turn around for you and the baby:purple_heart:
How has nobody mentioned FMLA? It’s an act that barrs employers from terminating your job due to an extended illness. You can call out due to said illness. You can take off for doctors appts. I see it from both sides. And it’s a shitty situation to be in. I feel like, he’s probably just stressed over now 100% of the bills falling on him. You were previously paying half the bills?
Your sons father is a pig, move on with both of your blessings because all three of you deserve better!!!
The reason I said this is there are never guarantees with procreating a human, when that human arrives you BOTH do what you have to do! As the mother you are doing your part! I understand financial strain can really weigh on a relationship but when you breed KIDS COME FIRST!
We as women have gotten ourselves into a spot of bother really! We want independence, equality, etc etc etc and what that now equals a lot of the time but not ALL the time complete opposite to equality! Sex, procreation, working, providing, housekeeping, child rearing and every now and then having to behave obediently to the Alpha male. Thanks a million bra burners…
Just go chic if he isn’t in awe of what you do for his child at present and expects you to make up for it he’ll never love and appreciate you how you deserve. I’m sorry to be a bearer of bad news XO
Okay so I’ve heard several opinions and have to say that it really could go either way, he’s either a mess himself and isn’t being very supportive or like one person noted maybe he’s just really afraid of what’s going to happen if you can’t pay the bills. So number one there are funds available through covid relief that will help you pay the rent, utilities and in some cases the internet. It sounds like you would absolutely qualify for the Federal Vision card or what we used to call food stamps. Do NOT, NOT give up on the SSI, because it isn’t a simple process and it might take a little while to get it but don’t give up. **The major thing you have to remember though is that when it’s denied you need to appeal it within the allotted amount of time that they give you. If you don’t then you’ll lose all the money you would have gotten back to the time you first applied. Get someone to help you. One thing that people don’t realize is when you’re filling out those forms you have to be extremely detailed on all of the many many ways but you have to help the baby that would not be available in daycare. Don’t be afraid to use 10 sheets of paper to detail it because that’s what they want to see, and make sure you’re writing down all the names of doctors and anyone that can give them information on the situation with your baby. Also if you do have to go back to work you should qualify for child care assistance. There are a lot of options out there.
I’m guessing you have money saved or coming in or he wouldnt be asking. If he is your partner then together you will find a solution. 50/50 means give and take not spilt everything. And it’s his turn to step tf up.
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Where there is a will there is a way. Hopefully you can find yourself a job to be able to support you and your kids, then you’ll have to work appointments around your days off. Don’t depend on anyone except yourself
Theres a program through the county you can be paid for taking care of him i dont remember what its called though.
Ask yourself why are you with this guy? What’s his purpose in your life? It’s clear as a blue sky that he doesn’t care about the situation that you’re in & what issues you’re going through with HIS son. As a mother you’re job right now is the well being of your children especially the youngest with his health problems. Tell him to take the baby to all the dr appointments while you work & see how it works out
I mean if he decided to leave you’d be stuck paying 100% of the bills and still have to care for your 2 children. I honestly don’t see a problem with it as he also has feelings and is probably feeling overwhelmed and has the right to. Sounds like y’all need to sit down and have an adult conversation about how everything has and is making you both feel. Open communication will definitely help but paying some of the bills would be the right thing to do since you do live there.
Ps he’s you’re boyfriend not husband so he’s not responsible to care for you or your other child in my opinion.
Pss keep your Karen comments to yourself, I personally don’t care how my comment makes yall feel
Posts like this make me so sad…My Husband won’t let me get a job he says it’s HIS job to protect & provide for us (we just had our 4th in January🥰)
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If you gonna leave your baby to go to work, may as well leave that mf and sent c/s on his @ss
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Run. Run far away as soon as you’re able!
Ummm and you’re still with him? Honestly, that’s the most inconsiderate thing I have ever heard. He is BASURA 
period.
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Ew. Throw the whole “man” away
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Do you live there? Do you make half the bills? Then you should be responsible for them.
Wtf tell him to leave if he doesnt wanna pay the shit youre dealing with your sick son. He can take himself and shove it. How absolutely disrespectful.
you literally cant
hes being so unreasonable
Babies dad is a douche bag.
You think he would want you home to care for your son. Wtf else are you to do?
Tell him to man up and pick up the slack so your son’s health can be 1st on your mind. He’s selfish. Reminds me of my x husband.
File for assistance honey an he’s being an ahole!!
This is a selfish person. It’s his kid and isn’t wanting to help!
Leave him now. He will never be the man you and your kids deserve.
Leave this loser please & find a real man
That’s unrealistic…I’d leave
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Your BD sounds like trash.
From a man, a partner and a father… Your man is a piece of sh*t!!! My missus lost her job when we were pregnant with our son since then I’ve made sure I’ve covered everything we need! If we were in your situation I would be giving her extra money to go out and see friends etc to have a break from all the crap that is going on in your lives! Like others have said if he doesn’t change his attitude leave and claim child support see how the selfish prick likes that!!! Sending love
Throw👏🏼The👏🏼Whole👏🏼Man👏🏼Away
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I’m sorry but he is an asshat
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reach out to Developmental Pathways
Your sons dad is a pos
you need to get your shit together and leave and take care of your sons
and please god don’t have any more kids .
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Sure split everything down the middle. If that’s how he’s going to act already, make him pay child support. I am not joking. Charge him child care fees if you want to be extra. Charge him for his food. You need to have a serious discussion. I am drop dead serious.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I have to pay half of the rent/bills?
If he wants you to pay half rent & bills, then you should charge him for caring for his special needs child 24/7. Caring for a child isn’t free. How does he think your son will be cared for if you have to go to work?
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Your baby daddy sounds like a big turd. Is he taking time off of work to care for your son and all of his needs? My guess is a big no and that it all falls on you. No you should not have to, because of the circumstances! Caring for a special needs baby 24/7 would be costly and I’d bet he wouldn’t want that bill.
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I agree you should not have to pay half, if ur home with that baby full time and giving him care he should understand that if not he has to take time out to do half the appointments and half the care
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