I have a problem with my grown children’s father. We divorced in 2003, but reconciled in 2010, just for him to leave again in 2016, and once again I took him back in 2020. When he came back in 2020 he had received money from his retirement. Shortly after he moved in, our electric box needed repair and our heating system too. He took the initiative to call the electrician and the heating repairman, and he pay them ($10,000.00). After months has passed and we had a disagreement, he told me I owe him that money. I told him I did not ask for a loan, he done it on his own because he had the money and he is the man of the house. He still insist I need to pay that money. The house is in my name, I pay for everything in the home…he only pays water, cable and gas. I pay the electric and we both buy food. I am to the point to putting my house for sale to give him back his $11,000.00 and separating for good because I don’t feel loved by this man…all I see is his “greed”….any thoughts?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/should-i-have-to-pay-my-ex-his-10-000-back/20228
No, unless you had a signed agreement that you were going to pay him back, I wouldn’t. I would get rid of him though.
No dont pay him anything. Let him take you to court he was living there when he paid it. Don’t do it
Unless you agreed to pay him.
Uh don’t you dare!
No. No. And no. Present him with a bill about how much you have paid out raising his children.
No you shouldn’t have to pay! Let him take u to court he made the decision on his own to pay and y’all live together! I doubt a judge is going to side with him
Nom hes wrong. Judge wont side with him.
Speak with a attorney your first visit is free.
Nope I wouldn’t pay him back
Tell him he owes 10,000 for back rent. Now ur even.
Ships that sail backwards never see the sunrise. Kick him out, the money was a gift, forward always
Don’t you dare sell your home especially to pay thatan back
NO you do not have to pay him back a thing he chose to get things fixed he lives in the house the stuff he fixed benefits him also
You don’t owe him a dime. Open that door for him. He’s been living there on and off for years. He needs to just go.
Kick him out. If he really thinks you “owe” him the money, he can take you to court. He definitely doesn’t love you
Nope. He has to man up and consider taking care of his kids. Don’t pay him a dime.
No you don’t owe him anything. Get rid if him for good.
No you should not have to pay him back you did not ask him for the money he did it all on his own. Unless you signed something saying you would pay him back then no you don’t have to pay him and that is hid problem you never asked him to pay that money.
He used HIS money 
not the other way around. He offered to pay for something to be fixed just because there was an argument doesn’t mean you need to pay him back the money HE decided to use
Get out of here. Stop going backwards. You don’t owe him crap. Don’t be ridiculous. Kick him out. Grow up. Move on. Call it all even. He lived there rent free.
No you don’t owe him sh!t.
Don’t sell for him. He did it and also lived there. He uses water cable and gas too. He doesn’t pay rent or food etc, that can be used as compensation towards what he doesn’t help with. I wouldn’t pay it back. If you want to embarrass him get ahold of judge Judy ha. Jk. But seriously.
I wouldn’t pay him shit
No. That’s his room and board. Don’t take him back
Then you guys are not truly back together. If you were together you work on building a life in a home and growing together not telling the other person they owe you money to fix something in the house they share with you and assumingly will “forever.”
You don’t owe him anything but a kick to the curb.
No dick is that good…don’t sell ur house and evict him
Write him a receipt for rent and evict him.
Literally up to you. Was it a bill you would have had to pay if he wasn’t there or could have paid without him? Owning a home is a HUGE gamble on expenses and that dime could have gone either way. If you want to offer to split it or pay a portion that would be your choice. The whole bill I believe shouldn’t fall on one person either way. The way he’s going about it sucks and shouldn’t have been brought up now, it should have been discussed when it happened since you seem to have split up other bills
Gross. Don’t pay him nothing. Kick his ass out.
Nope, you owe him nothing.
Don’t uproot just to get back with him in 2-3 years sis
Marriage ain’t for the faint of heart. It takes constant work. Like 110% of the time. You have to really ask yourself and not Facebook what is best for you. Where do you see yourself in 3,5,9 years. Listen to your heart
So basically He made repairs to a house HE resides in and wants you to pay him back? Ummmm ,NO the average rent on a One bedroom APARTMENT is 1,000 a month. Kick his ass to the curb and LEAVE HIM THERE
Nope. He paid for the repair on his own free will. Don’t bother putting your house up for sale. Just kick him out and don’t take him back. Almost 20 years of the same thing. Time to move along
No. Sounds like a narcissist. Does 1 nice thing and throws it in your face forever
You don’t owe him anything! He is your husband and yall were together. He lived there and he called and had the repairs done.
You would owe half as when your in a relationship and something needs fixing you go go half’s with your partner
He can leave. Have him take you to court
Tell him to piss off
You don’t owe him crap!!
Haha. He wants to play games? I would back charge him for rent. $1000 a month since 2020? So around 18 months? So I will deduct the 10k he thinks I owe him, Now he owes me 8k.
I’m just the right level of petty. 
The audacity of this man… sheesh
Ask for the receipt from both, you don’t owe him squat!!! Kick him out, grow up move on!
Have him evicted, and no you do not owe that man anything he went about fixing the issue his self you didn’t ask him so that’s his fault.
There was no agreement so he can suck it. He’s just being an ass.
Screw him you don’t owe him anything ………unless he had you sign papers it was a “loan”……kick him out for good
He’s being petty. You don’t owe shit. He lived there too.
No, tell him to take you to court. Let the judge decide.
He did it on his own free will and he lives there to so no. If he wants it back tell him to take u to court and to get out.
You don’t owe him anything you have a child your unit was out it was fixed
Take the money as emotional damage and don’t give him a centb
Absolutely not!! Make sure you file first.
I would say no. He took the initiative and he paid for it on his own. That’s the part of being adults sometimes we do things we don’t want to do but it has to be done. He needs to suck it up and get over the fact that put the money into fixing things that needed to be fixed. If you didn’t ask him to pay it or ask him to borrow it then no ma’am you don’t need to pay it back. If that’s the way he wants to be then charge him rent for all the months he has lived there along with splitting all the other bills in half and write it out and hand it to him. I’m sure he will change his mind. You don’t need that negativity in your life. Kick him out and be done with it. Don’t sell your house.
Depending on your state, you could owe half or you could owe it all. You are not married at the time, and no rent agreement, most states will say you owe at least half, other states would rule you owe it all. Good luck
Don’t SELL
Give him a MONEY ORDER ONCE A MONTH FOR 50.00
BY LAW YOU ARE MAKING AN EFFORT TO PAY HIM BACK AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE MONEY ORDER TO PROVE
Do not sell your home. Kick him out and be done
Don’t sell your house, don’t pay him shit for a repair made to property he maintained residency at, cut ties and move along happily with your life!
Who pays the mortgage
He gets away cheap to live in the house. I hope the house was yours bf u got married, or it was an inheritance if not HE GETS HALF! Do not pay him back the 10,000 was he rent for 10 months, I think he moved back in because it was cheaper than renting & in his best interest. Stop taking him back
1- don’t sell your house. 2- while living at the house these utilities’ needed repair and he took the initiative himself to hire and pay respective entities to fix them without consulting you first about it. 3- get a formal 30 day eviction notice from the courthouse and kick his ass to the curb. 4- let him take you to court over it and at the very least you won’t owe him anything and at the most civil court would make you pay at least 50-70%. But the most important thing is that you’ll be rid of him completely either way. Do not pay him anything (cash, check, money order) because then if you go to court, the courts will see it as some form of proof that you agreed to pay him back. And my final piece of advice is don’t take him back for a 4th time.
Let him take you to court! You don’t owe Jim! You never asked…he was living there
You owe him nothing, bye!
You don’t owe him a penny… kick him out.
Stop talking to the man the kids are grown there’s no reason to be around him he’s not the only man that can give you sex find another one forget about the $10,000 he was the head of the household y’all were married and that was his Homestead his responsibility. He paid nothing to live there. DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!.
No! My husband spent money on my house we separated 11 months i cost him 30000 in lawyer fees lol and
Still take all his money
There was no agreement to repay. You don’t owe him anything. Don’t sell your house, just kick him out, cut contact, and move on with your life.
I don’t think you would. After all the judge Judy cases I’ve watched, if you don’t have it in text or writing or never agreed that it was loan it shouldn’t be owed. Plus was he living there? That’s part of a homes expenses. He doesn’t own the home and you paid for it. So really that $10k isn’t much. Heck consider it rent for him living there or any other place. I’d go to court and fight it if he forces you too.
That’s a big fat nope
You don’t owe him a thing. What a jerk!
Don’t pay him anything until he gets a lawyer and claims a civil case against you.
I saw ur divorced, well if their was no oral or written contract u don’t have to pay him back. I wud send him a text so u have in writing I never asked u to fix it or pay for it. U did it so u cud have electricity & u don’t pay rent u literally pay 3 bills no more than totaling $300. U fix things because u pay literally nothing to live here. Never admit loan never say u will payback. He will reply something stupid. As long as never admitting loan or payback HE can’t sue u for the money he will LOOSE
You don’t owe him anything. Put him on the road and move on.
F him! You keep that money. What a tool. I cannot stand men like this.
My husband agrees with my comment.
Yeah you don’t owe anything! He knows it too. Just throwing it in your face
Don’t sell ur house kick his ass out there was no agreement saying u needed to give him that money back at any point
Please don’t sell your house to appease a " man" whom hasn’t treated you the way you should be treated.
Your kids and grown and your relationship is over. Cut ties and block him 
he can take you to court if he wants too.
Absolutely NOT! You owe nothing. He did that out of his own will! You shouldn’t have to sell your home to pay him what he dud that real men step up to do! Stand yoyr griwn & the doir us wide open! Don’t let it revilve again, you’ve wasted a great deak of your live already! Go live it happy
Don’t sell n don’t pay him back
You don’t owe him anything.
Pretty shitty of him to do something “nice” only to want it back after an argument. From the outside this sounds like manipulation and conditional “love”. That was not an act done out of love. He did that nice thing to have as leverage in the relationship.
Childish behavior. You don’t owe him anything and if he thinks you do, I’d take my chances in court.
ew i feel bad for you
Unless you signed a contract saying you would repay him then your not obligated to pay him anything.He after all was living there also.Put him out and be done with him.Unless you really want to sell the house,I would keep it,or sell the house Keep the $$$ again you don’t owe him NOTHING!!?!
You owe nothing it’s his house get the hell out n don’t look back he won’t change
You don’t owe him nothing. Put him out and keep your home:roll_eyes:
If there is no texted or written contract of any kind…You owe nothing. Plus he lived there and used those things too so he was just paying on what he uses like when he pays a utility bill.
don’t sell your house he has no legal grounds to ask you for the money. he would have paid that in rent anyplace else.
Don’t sell your house and don’t give him $10k. Get rid of him for good this time.
He doesn’t get NOTHING !!! Don’t sell your house !!
Hell no sounds like he got the benefit of the swinging door and the electric service the box provided. Boot him to the curb
I saw an episode of judge Judy about this. Sounds like he gifted you that money, which is non refundable
Who wrote the check. If he did willing with out discussing paypack it’s on him. Don’t sell your house.
I don’t u think you owe him anything…
Legally you don’t have to as he offered is that right…
Consider that his rent for those years! Not to mention did you ask him to do that?\
I also clicked on that link that has their business listed on this page they owe you money for using your page to advertise on
Legally you owe nothing, he can take you to civil court but he’s just wasting his own money there.
I’d tell him to kick rocks, you don’t need a man that’s going to hold things over your head everytime you have a disagreement
No you don’t owe him anything. Show him the family laws in your area. He used his retirement for the household good while your in a relationship he doesn’t get to pick and choose what income is a loan. If he wants to do that then he can pay rent as a Tennant and all the bsck rent or be evicted 
Nope you don’t owe him a damn thing. If he takes you to court the judge will most likely say the same thing. He has to prove it was a loan which he can’t
Honey he was living as one, so no money 