Tell me what your mama would do if you are grown and married and have 3 kids and you and your husband work but you still struggle and they are a couple times…not all the time that you need money to eat on or for gas for the week so you ask your mama and know she has the money to help. Would she expect you to pay her back when you are already struggling? I have always thought if people are trying to help themselves and you have the money to help then you should help and not expect it back…I couldn’t let my kids and or grandkids go hungry or without gas to get to and from work…opinions? Or what would your mama do if you asked her?
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Yea I normally pay my mom back unless she says don’t worry bout it or something. You sound a little entitled. She’s not obligated to help you at all.
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I was in your situation years ago, and prayer got me through. God answered by providing money and help. We never asked anyone for money even though we had 3 small children and worked full time. It was difficult.
If we ever are struggling my mom will help out without question, and says don’t even think about paying her back… but we always do/force it back to her lol, when we get back on track and fine
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Wow! You’re an adult! Your momma doesn’t have to give you anything. I would never ever ask my mom for money and just expect that it will be a gift. Just because she “has the money” does not mean you are entitled to it!
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Never. Ever expect to keep the money given to you. Any time anyone who helps me gives me anything I always plan to give it back unless they explicitly tell me they don’t want it back.
No hate- but this entire post is very entitled. You should never expect that someone doesn’t need the money they gave you.
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My mom always helps me out if I need it. I don’t feel entitled enough to NOT pay her back. I always pay her back.
You and your husband sound very entitled and you need to start budgeting better and/or setting better priorities. Just because she has the money to help you out, doesn’t mean she needs to. That’s her money. She worked for that money.
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If I have it to spare, I will give it with no expectations of repayment. Not because I’m a pushover. But because family loans always cause problems if they cannot be repaid. Most of the time, I am repaid and it makes me happy and it always manages to show up exactly when I need it.
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I have helped soooo much that I am just barely able to take care of myself. I struggle, however I do not regret helping my kids out never did I expect to be paid back. Because when they are short on money it only makes them short the next week, hence need to borrow again. I knew they would not be able to pay back so I never expected it
Entitled much? If I had money to give that means 1 thing I WORKED FOR IT! I don’t have to give it to any body! Pay Mom back!
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When I was struggling my mum always helped me and I would pay her back $20 a week even if it was over a few years lol I use to like borrowing off date because he would forget 
My daughter always pays me back I don’t expect her to but she does. Just a little thought!
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I was always taught, regardless if its family it not, if you borrow money or ask for it you pay it back, unless they say its a gift. Were all struggling, regardless if we “have” money or not. Some people who have money use it for savings for emergencies and things like that in case they happen.
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If my mom wants it back, she gets it back. But I have an amazing support system as an adult. My mom and dad helps whenever we need it, for me and my brother.
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My parents more often than not (and my husbands) never expect a payback but if they did I would, and one day I hope to be able too in a variety of ways.
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My sister and I have always paid my parents back when we borrow money. They still have kids at home to raise, they would never let us go without but I would never want them to go without because they helped us out.
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Just because they have money to help doesn’t mean u should expect it. I would never not pay my parents back .
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My rule has always been if you are a minor living at home or in school (college)/trade training I will cover most costs. Now if you’re an adult living an adult life by your own choice you need to take responsibility and accountability. Not saying I don’t or won’t ever help but their circumstances are of their own choices and no longer my responsibility. Times are hard for everyone, I’m not going to enable my children to depend on me to clean up their mess and if they “borrow” money I expect it to be paid back within the timeframe we agree upon. If they don’t honor the agreement they don’t get to borrow again.
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Yes, she raised you till you were 18 and now you are an adult. Figure it out
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My mom and dad helped me periodically through the years as a single mom. Even after I was married I “went shopping at mom’s” on occasion. 
I always made it a priority to pay back what I borrowed—even if I could not do it until tax time. I am happy to report I paid back everything I ever borrowed. Now there were times when we were not doing hot and my parents knew and handed me money. I had not explicitly borrowed that, though, and it was gift monies because they knew I needed it. I would offer, but they would refuse.
I offer the same courtesy to my kids. If they want to come “shopping” here, they are welcome to! If I have money and they need it, I will loan or give it to them.
A parent causing a hardship for a child though… 
My parents would never have done that. Which is why we often squared up at tax time.
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Depends, if I ask to borrow it then I definitely need to pay it back but if I ask if she can help me and she does than that’s a gift.
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Yes, she would and I would as well. Your borrowing she’s not giving/offering without return. As an adult you pay back what you borrow.
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I don’t lend my daughter money, I give it to her to help when she needs it. My thinking is if I lend her money it won’t help her get ahead, so it’s a way of helping her when she is struggling. However of she wanted me loan her money for let’s say a new pair of nikes or something then I would lend her the money and expect it paid back. However again I would first offer to buy them for her and save them for Christmas 
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Unless she told you it was a gift and you do not to pay her back then you have to pay her back.
Nothing in this world is free. She was being helpful when you needed help. When you get back on your feet offer to pay her back. If she declines then that’s a bonus for you. Never assume it’s a free hand out. Mother or not.
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I borrow from my momma and she borrows from me. Depending on the amount, the pay back is different. Usually if it’s somewhat a large amount from either on of us we pay it back within 2 weeks. If it’s a small amount we usually just hold of until the lender needs a little help. Then they will message and say hey I need that 20 (or what ever small amount it is) can you send it to me
I think you and your mom need to be clear about what is a loan and what is a gift.
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I always paid her back. I asked she didn’t just say here you can have this.
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I am not entitled so yes I would pay my mom back. Even when she tells me not to I give her something. I am not an only child, I like knowing I am the child that pays her back.
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My mom never asks for money back! Even when I offer to pay it back. So I take care of her in other ways all throughout the year. I spoil her every chance I get
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Don’t expect to keep it and not pay it back unless she told you that, other than that , it’s not your mom’s responsibility to feed your or your kids
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If you’ve had to ask you’re borrowing. If they’ve offered, they’re giving.
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Yes absolutely pay it back. Amd if you need it again, you will get it. That’s how we do it anyway
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you borrow you pay back sometimes with interest! once were on our own its no obligation of our parents grandparents or anyone for that matter to just freely give money just because. even the concept is strange to me. while i know in some familys this may be something they do. gift a family or do a go fund or something thats much different. borrowing money without intent to pay it back is selfish.
Life’s not a free ride, she raised you and shouldn’t have to raise your husband and children. Pay your mom back. Ungrateful 
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I am the mom in this situation ,I help my grown children often .If I give them $20 to get gas I don’t expect it back ,if they borrow any significant amount ,I expect it back .One of my children definitely doesn’t understand that concept .We have some money in the bank but we are close to retiring and will definitely need it .
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If she is offering it herself, then I would take it as a gift but still offer to pay her back when u can even if ur just making little payments to her as u can. I would never assume anything is free even from your mom unless she makes it known she doesn’t want it back. You are grown, have a family of your own. It’s not your mom’s responsibility to help you. If she is, obviously bc she cares and I would think most mothers would if they could, but doesn’t mean it’s free money.
My mom struggles to, but when she helps me I always offer to pay her back and most the time she tells me not to worry about it. But I find it’s respectful that she goes out of her way so I tell her I’ll pay her back 
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I’ve never asked my parents to borrow a dime. They once had my vehicle fixed for me when I couldn’t afford to, (20 years ago, without asking) and I paid them back every penny.
I learned to do whatever it takes to earn my own money and budget properly so we don’t have to go without.
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I’ve never asked, nor got it, even for my kids, as she doesn’t know them. When she was around my oldest, still didn’t.
If your borrowing money, that’s intent to pay back. It’s more of a convo you should have with her. If she expects you to pay back, then do that. Never bite the hand that feeds you. It could turn to never having help. Even if not, I’d still be doing what I could to give back. More of showing appreciation.
Borrowing definition!!!
to obtain or receive (something, such as money) on loan for temporary use, intending to give it, or something equivalent or identical, back to the lender.
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Pay her back. Set up a budget and stick to it. Cut all unnecessary spending. Find a side hustle - I worked 3 part time jobs to help with expenses in college and a full time job plus a part time job when I graduated because I thought I needed more “things”. I finally woke up set a budget and stuck to it- quit my part time job.
I’m supposed to pay my mom back and sometimes I can’t and she never says no but knows when I have money I’ll give it and if she needs it and I have it I’ll give it to her.
I would absolutely assume I was paying it back.
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I say unless she specifically said you don’t have to pay her back then it was a loan. Loans you have to pay back no matter who you get them from. She may have money now but she has to think about saving the rest of her life. Maybe your husband and you could start budgeting and see if that helps after a few months or see what you can cut back on to save some money so you won’t need to get a loan.
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Like I said, I pay my mom back, there have been times that I’ve paid her back later than what was said after talking to her, but I still pay her back, I don’t expect not to
I pay back whatever I borrow unless told not to. It’s called respect
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this can’t be a real question…
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Pay it back. That’s the right thing to do. If she tells u she doesn’t want it back, that’s on her. But as an adult, the right thing to do is give it back. My 21 year old son has a 3 month old daughter (don’t judge, I was a young parent too), and he’s never asked me for money or help, he busts his butt working and if he doesn’t have what he needs, he’ll sell something of his before he asks me for money. I would never want him to fall on his face, I’ll help anyway I can, but he refuses the help, he would rather do it himself than ask anyone for a handout. Don’t come at me for what I’m saying, I’m just saying, there are other ways to get money if u need money. In an emergency that’s a different story, but regardless, pay it back.
Open up a Walmart Card account so you don’t have to ask for money for gas or food anymore and yes pay her back in payments $5 here and there .
Don’t ask for a loan if you can’t pay it back.
My grandpa helps me out as much as he can he’s also stubborn and doesn’t want his money back etc because he sees it as help so when I’m able to which isn’t a lot I take him out, buy him food etc I did that before he started helping me. But it’s the little things
My grown kids don’t ask me for money but I can always tell when they are in need so I offer and I never ask for it back because I do offer it to them most of the time they don’t accept the help but when they do they offer to pay back
This is something to discuss before they give you the money. If she didn’t call it a loan and work out a payment plan to you, then they probably are seeing it more as a gift.
Uhm- Unless they tell you don’t worry about it, you pay it back. Tf? Just cause you know the person has the money or “doesn’t need it” at the moment doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pay it back.
Sounds like you and/or your husband need to find a second job or better paying ones. And cut back on personal spending.
Definitely pay it back your an adult and she is helping you! But it’s not her job to continue to cover you, life is hard for a lot of people and there has been times when my family has helped us out but I always understood it was a loan and was to be paid back!
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Yes my parents expected me to pay them back when I needed help, but I also didn’t ask them for anything unless it was an emergency.
If i give money to my daughters , i will not expect it be repaid , but should one of them gets married …its leave and cleave, if they cant support a family, not a time to get married …
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You always pay back money. Even if it’s just 10 dollars a week.
I always pay back, but she doesn’t expect it like the next pay check. we pay back when we can
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If I borrow something I pay it back regardless of who it is I borrowed from. My mum would let me pay it back when I could and wouldn’t make me feel horrible about it though 
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The sheer fact that you asked to borrow money means you need to pay it back when situation improves
Pay. Your. Mom. Back.
She would state if it was a gift
You don’t get to assume or be entitled to money because someone is well off.
I think you should definitely pay her back and give her the opportunity to tell you to “go ahead and keep it”.
I say yes you should pay her back. Your an adult and that’s what adults do. They take care of theur responsibilities
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Yes… youre an adult now. She did her 18yrs with you…
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I’m sure she wouldn’t take the money back but wants you to at least offer. It also depends on how much you are asking maybe she doesn’t want to be taken advantage of.
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You can’t give what you don’t have and if you don’t have to give without expecting it back then you shouldn’t give. That’s to family or anyone.
I call it a lost account.
We don’t count pennies in my family if we got we give and we got eachother back
I have a question for you, are you going to look after your Mama when she is old and frail?
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If given as a gift no. But if she says she will let you borrow it, then yes you should pay it back. She didn’t have you to have to take care of you the rest if her life. If she gets bad off she will need the money
If I borrow money from anyone, I’m paying it back. Even if it’s my mama because I don’t want to owe anyone. Now if someone gives me some money that’s different
I always pay my mum/family back if I borrow money. it may not be straight away and it may not be in full but whenever I have anything spare I will give it to pay back what is owed. she wouldn’t expect me to pay it back while I was still struggling but if I had a bit extra at the end of the month why wouldn’t I pay it back?
Help is help which to me means a loan. You as an adult and a respectful daughter should understand that she is not there to finance you especially since you are grown with your own family!! Be thankful she is willing and able to help!! Get your shit together as well so you won’t be in that position moving forward. And pay the woman back!!
This really is something that should be discussed before giving anyone money, especially a family member.
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Unpopular- if you are grown no one owes you anything!
If I borrow money I pay it back period!!! Even if your parent is rich, they are not required to just give you money, it’s not your money. Now if you offer to payback and they say no that is different. If you ask for help, yes you should pay it back no matter who it is.
I will add I am still paying my dad back from money I borrowed in 2008! If I don’t pay it back it will not be there to borrow next time.
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When you start your own family, you should absolutely be taking care of your own household and when someone helps you, mother or not you should pay them back. Sounds like it’s over due for you or your husband maybe both to get a part time job.
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Some folks never learn if you keep enabling them🤷🏼♀️
Sometimes your mum will sacrifice something so you can eat. It’s always good to pay her back
You should always pay back no matter how long it takes you. It’s not your mother’s fault you are in the shits it’s your fault as she has worked and earned her money and the lifestyle she wanted. So no you’re not entitled to her money get your butt up and get a better paying job. Not saying every now and then you can’t be helped out but again you need to do better for your children not her.
That should be discussed at the time of the $ transfer. A single time is one thing but if it’s habitual, you should re-consider some life choices. You’re not able to afford the lifestyle you are leading with the income you have, one of them must change. You can’t live off someone else forever.
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When my papa always gave me money for whatever reason he never expected anything back. I always tried to pay him back but was told no. When I was a child I lived with my grandparents . Then I had to move, he would send me money even when I didn’t ask. If I was you talk to her and if she says no keep it then keep it. My sister’s and I help each other out when we need it, we don’t pay back, but we do other things. Like if they pay for dinner when we go out, the next time I pay for a dinner. Lil things go along way. 
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I always pay my mom back, she picked up groceries for me afew months ago when we were all sick and as soon as I get paid (seasonal work) I’ll be paying her back right away eventhough she told me I don’t have to I’ll just put it in her purse lol
I would say this sounds very entitled also, you chose to have kids just as we did and I’d never expect anyone to think they need to pay for us to live 
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If you’re borrowing money, that means you intend to give it back. Maybe not immediately, but you DO pay it back. Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they are an atm. They have their own lives going on as well. If your mom wants you to pay her back then that’s her right to ask of you as the person lending money. Everyone is their version of the “perfect person” when they’re not the ones on that end of a situation but just because you feel like you’d do something differently doesn’t mean someone else is lesser because their actions are different.
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Yes absolutely ur mom has to work for her money too. I mean nothing is free no matter who it is
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My go to person was my gran, I only asked her to lend me money if I knew I could pay her back. I always made sure I repaid within 4 weeks so I could ask her again. Have some pride
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Yup I always pay back every cent as soon as possible, I don’t like asking for help at the best of times so I hate the feeling of owing anybody anything
it sounds like she is helping by loaning money. but its a loan and yes you should pay it back or offer to help her in other ways to work off the debt.
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We have helped our kids out a few times over the years and never expected it to be paid back. I figured if they needed to ask us to begin with then they wouldn’t have the $ to pay us back . I love being able to help without wanting anything in exchange except for them to face what they need
Parents are not ATMs
Something I even tell my own kids
But also sit down with your partner and see what needs to change.
Of course you should pay it back! It’s a help, not a gimme
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Yes I do except it back if I lend my kids cause otherwise u will struggle as well just because we are parents don’t mean we are banks they need to learn to manage same as we have all had to do in tough times
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My mama would have us move in dog cat turtle whomever if she could
Yes, unless she says not to worry about it, but I still do it anyway. If she refuses, I get her something nice or pay a bill for her.
Um. She’s your mama. Not a bank. Even the bank expects to be paid back for a loan. I think you’re confusing gifting with borrowing. Borrowing implies you intend to pay it back. My mom would expect me to pay her back.
Yes… My mom would. My kids, I tell them ahead of time if I expect it back or not.
My dad gives me loans throughout the year but he doesn’t expect me to pay him back until tax time. He knows once I have the money I will pay him back. But y’all had to have an understanding whether it’s expected to be paid back or not.
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My mum used to say what I give you is one thing, when you borrow it then I want it back.
Ask your mum when she wants the money back and see what she says.
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My mom has denied me any help at all after I continued to ask. If you are having to ask that much then it’s time to cut back on your expenses or maybe find a second/better job. I don’t blame my mom for cutting me off at all. I highly suggest you atart paying her back or she will do the same. Yes she’s your mom but you are grown with 3 kids of your own. You’re not supposed to continue to be dependent upon your mom to foot your lifestyle. She is supposed to be enjoying her life, spending her money on herself and things she loves. Maybe buying gifts for her grandchildren. Going on vacation. Not things that you as an adult should be doing for yourself like food and gas
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I don’t lend my daughter money. I always give / offer it to her. No expectations except do your best. PeriodT. My prayer is to always have enough so that she can always have what she needs. I should always try to make her life better than mine. I can’t take it with me.
My mom would tell me to get a better job. And she would expect me to pay her back plus interest. And I’m a single mom that doesn’t qualify for any supplemental benefits, nor do I collect child support… Feeling like your parents owe you, or shouldn’t be paid back is a show of entitlement.
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It’s up to the agreement you made with her when you asked for it.