Just send them a wedding invite. Then the ball is in their court.
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His family is your family now yours donât deserve to be there they cut you off for loving a POC do not put your husband in a uncomfortable situation they have already let you know they donât approve Why chance Then showing their ass are ruining your big day
For my wedding my husband told me that it wasnât his family, itâs our family. Everyone just sat wherever they wanted. My dad was there and 2 of my great Auntâs came in for my wedding. My Auntâs came just because they missed my momâs funeral so that was how they made it up to us. Otherwise it would have only been my dad.
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K so I had a huge wedding. It wasnât fancy. We roasted pigs that were part of our wedding gift. I had not a lot of family at mine because they are all from other states. I had my parents, grandparents, siblings and an aunt. We had 380 guests at our wedding and we spent a total of $8,000. Literally 365 of the guests were my husbands and my wedding was so great I didnât even notice some of my people were missing not to mention you do not need that negativity in your life! Especially not the new life you are trying to build.
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You have a new and beautiful familyâ:heart:
donât worry about the toxic mess you left behindâ:joy_cat:
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You can always ask. If they say no thats on them
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No. If they were racist towards your future husband, imagine how they would treat your children!!!
Keep then far away from the life youâve built with a man that loves you. The family you come from is nothing conpared to the family you build yourself.
Focus on the future
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If you want them there, then I would invite them! If they donât show, itâs their loss!!
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Invite them if you want to. The ball will be in their court. Good luck and congratulations. Many blessings for a happy future x
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I say invite them n leave it at that. If they come they come, if they donât they donât. My first mistake of a wedding, my family didnât come except my grandma and uncle. Parents didnât even bother nor anyone else. Then I got remarried after my divorce to someone everyone in my fam loves but they still werenât there, but to be fair it was a courthouse. They all (except my lil bro but 
him) came to our wedding reception we had 2 days before we got married, n that was good enough for me
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Speaking from experience, dont invite someone who is toxic with the hope of their presence being a positive thing. Itll end up hurting you, its really not worth it.
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Girl, my wedding was exactly the same. I had my mom and dad, my brothers and an aunt and uncle. THATS IT!! The rest on âmy sideâ was my boss and his wide and friends. My husbands dads side of the family, sat on âmy sideâ of the church just to even it out a little bit and make side look more even. We invited my whole family (so we didnât regret it later), and no one showed up because they didnât like him. That showed me who they were. Just embrace his family that is embracing you and donât worry about the rest.
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Overreacting? To what? Iâm not sure what you are hoping for but if your âfamilyâ is not in agreement with your relationship simply because of the color of his skin, then you are better off without their presence. Itâs an unfortunate reality that you will ha e to learn to accept, and you will need to learn to embrace the people in your life who are a real family to you. Family are those who care, who are supportive, etc⊠instead of wishing for what you donât have, embrace and be thankful for what you do have.
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Invite them, if they donât show up itâs on them not you!
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Have your wedding in peace
Donât invite them
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Send them invitations, but donât be surprised if they wonât come. Iâm sorry your family is acting like this to you. Maybe they will surprise you. Congratulations, and enjoy your special day.
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Keep in mind if u invite them there is a huge chance theyll ruin ur day
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Any daughter would want their parents and siblings by her wedding its natural before doing anything ask yourself will they make any harsh comments if they were to attend which will leave your husband and his family hurt.
If answer is yes only extend an invite to your parents it is just proper that they witness your happiness if they donât attend its their loss .
Sometimes is better to cut ties with toxic peopleâŠ. Even when they are your family. I havenât spoken to my family, including my mother in years, TOXIC IS TOXIC
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I wouldnât want family coming to that when they donât support who youâre marrying. Also not the place. Not the time. They will ruin your day
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Racist need to be irradiated just like all of the other diseases that have plagued this country. Go marry your and everybody else be damned.
I reached out to the people who mattered to me and the only ones who showed were my mom, stepdad, and my 4 siblings. Nobody else on my side. My husband was fortunate enough to have a decent amount of family. We had mainly close friends there. It didnât matter cuz we still had a great day
If I were in your place, I would send invitations to my family. If they choose to come, great. If they donât, itâs by their choice and not yours. Then, weather they come or not, donât have a HIS/HERS side at the wedding. Have the guests fill in the seats from the front to the back on both sides, so when you look out, itâs not everyone on the grooms side and fewer on the brides side. On a side note, you should never let someone else dictate your happiness. It was your family who turned their backs on you, not the other way around. I hope that youâre one of the lucky ones, marrying into a family that loves you like their own because even if your family doesnât come around, youâll still have family. Congratulations!
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I personally wouldnât. I get you feeling conflicted, itâs supposed to be a happy day enjoyed by friends and family. But 6ou have family - his. Iâd just not have a bride/groomâs side-âsit wherever you want, weâre all family hereâ deal and enjoy your beautiful day.
Do you. I had no family at my wedding, and my older 2 kids refused to come. Itâs your day, feel comfortable not obligated.
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Let it all go with your family. Tell them your getting married when and where and be done with it. Itâs your day and be happy
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I know they are your family but why would you want racist people like that at your wedding that asking for trouble
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Yes invite your family! Call your mom let her know how happy you are. Perhaps they should get to know him. Family pre wedding get together?Let her/them know how much you want her/them there, now and in the future. You just want your family there for your special day!!
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Invite them all,if they donât come it will be on them.
You showed youâre the bigger more mature person,by not holding grudges.
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My family and I kind of split ways after my first pregnancy, but I always invite. By doing that, youâre being the bigger person, and itâll be on them if they donât show up
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Girl I would not contact your family if they cut you off for the color of your manâs skin.
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Personally, my husband & I didnât âdo the dramaâ & we didnât let anyone pay for our wedding.
Our marriage was ours & ours alone.
We got a marriage license for $18, we bought outfits for ourselves & my 2 young daughters at a classy 2nd hand store.
We got married at our local city county building, by the Mayor for free.
& Our mutual friend was our witness.
Afterwards we had a cookout for whoever felt like joining us.
We just celebrated 19 years last week & to this day I wouldnât change a thing
Do what feels right TO YOU & FIANCE noone else 
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Change the way you think. After you say âI doâ you will have a room full of family that support your life choices not half a room who support and half who donât. You say you arenât rich why waste $$ on those who donât? Your wedding is about unity and love
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If your family isnât supportive of who you love they would just ruin your day and even if they tried to hide how they feel bad vibes still be there
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If they donât accept your husband then they do not deserve to come.
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If they donât support your decision on being with someone you love then they are not worth your time seriously as long as you are happy that all that matters
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Iâm not reading all that BS. If you gotta ask, then NO
All that matters is that you are marrying the man that you love. You have yalls children there plus His family which is your family as well. Yes they ainât your blood but sometimes water runs thicker then blood.
Plus if they canât not support you in who your with just cause the color of your loves skin. Then u dont need them. Only thing they should of cared about is how he makes you feel and how much he loves you and the children that is the only thing that should of mattered.
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Iâll come to your wedding and sit on the bride sideâ:raising_hand_woman:t4:
every girl dreams of this day. His family is your family now. Donât over think it or let it ruin your big day with your soul mate!! Iâd honestly have a small intimate wedding and have one kick ass honey moon afterwards. Big weddings are over the top and unnecessary. I was married in a courthouse with my friends and family by my side and that was more than enough for me! Plus having racists whom donât accept your significant other because the color of his skin would just cloud your beautiful day. You donât need that kind of negativity or energy around you.
I wouldnât want racists at my wedding. That just screams trouble to me. Plus, would you want to subject your husband to that? Iâd be hesitant. But thatâs just my opinion.
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You can still extend your invite. Atleast, in the future you can look back and say and see you did invite them. Than wonder, What would have been if you invited them. In this day, you can see who would show LOVE and SUPPORT in the side of your family.
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I canât believe people today still want to us set us back to the âold fashioned daysâ (the negative parts). I guess it depends on how strongly you want them to be part of it as to if you should have them there. Maybe just mail the invites and leave it on them if itâs that important to you? But donât let them ruin your special day if they do come bc they âdonât agreeâ. And donât let them ruin if if they donât either! What should be important is how that man loves, protects, and provides for you and your children. The color of anyoneâs skin should never be a determining factor to liking someone or disliking someone.
If your family isnât supportive about who you love (especially for racist reasons) I wouldnât want them there.
Invite close friends, sometimes our family arenât blood, but the people
Who show up and support us.
Iâm so sorry youâre feeling this way though. I can imagine I would as well.
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They are the loosers; you just need to be happy!
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Family isnât always where you came from (blood). âFamilyâcan be the ones who came into your life and never made you feel like you were anything less because of your choices. So instead of focusing on blood focus on those friend that made you feel at home in their lives instead and have you a phenomenal day! It will always be ur bloods loss, not yours!
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Talk to your family. Invite them. End of the day that is your family. You will make peace with the outcome if they still choose to be ignorant.
Also,going into a marriage you donât want it to be one-sided, itâs only natural to want your family there. Theyâre also missing out on their grandchildren.
One other thing, you will feel more at ease going into Marriage with you and your partner doing what you 2 can afford.
Donât let his family pay for everything , thatâs when people talk
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You may have family members that honestly love & support you. However for some reason or another they canât show it. I say invite them let them know you love them. It may push those that havenât been able the show you support to come around. Youâre extending the olive branch of peace. That makes you the better person.
On a side note⊠what does your soon to be hubby thing/ feel about it? Because honestly he is the one that has been & will be there for you!
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Youâre not overreacting. Enjoy your day with your new family!
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Im in⊠When and where? I can be your sister or cousin for the day or weekend or for how ever long you need.
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Invite them anyway. If they Come, great. If not, No drama. Enjoy YOUR day !!! Congratulations 
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If they cut you off leave them enjoy your new family
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The only family I have come to my wedding is my kids and my dad . Because my familyâs do not like my partner . And I do not need fight at my wedding 
.
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If you have any family that is supportive, just invite them. Also, make one of those âchoose a seat, not a sideâ signs, it will make you feel a lot better that day if your side isnât more empty. 
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He and your children are your family now.
Your relatives are petty and ugly humans.
Your relatives are toxic.
Love is Love.
Surround yourself with the people who love you with no restrictions.
Dont make your day uncomfortable for you or anyone else who is attending.
Enjoy your day with those who truly want to celebrate your love for each other because they genuinely careâ€
Congratulations!
Just try to focus on how much he and his family care for you!
Forget the assholes who wrote you off because they disagree with your love. Love is love, and it should be celebrated
Just show up and be happy dear. If your family is that ridiculous you donât need them in your life. Your husbandâs family has made it more than clear you are welcome and that they support you both. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!!
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Donât waste your time inviting them they wonât come
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I would extend an invitation to your family . If they choose not to come , it is their loss . Jesus made us all and Does not see color .
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Youâre not overreacting. Itâs completely normal to wish you had a loving family to support you on your wedding day. That doesnât mean you should reach out to toxic family who cut you off due to their racism, and thatâs what really happened. They didnât cut you off because you married a black man. They cut you off because theyâre racist. It may seem like semantics, but framing the situation properly puts the responsibility for the estrangement squarely where it belongs, on them. I know this will be difficult and youâll be hurting, but please, as you walk down the aisle that day, look around at all the smiling, loving faces who are there to support you. This is your new family.
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If the cut you off cause of you âmanâ then they donât deserve to go to your wedding. If his family is excepting you with open arms then thats all the family you need.
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My grandpa used to say. Leave the ball on the other side. Send your invites, maybe they come, maybe they donât. And there is your answer. But you threw the ball and now is in their court. You have done as much as you could. (Or donât, good luckâ:green_heart:
)
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Donât you be the one to cut off your parents and siblings
If it comes from their side you wonât have any regrets
Call your Dad and MumâŠand talkâŠ
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Reach out to them . Tell them your happy news . Theyâre reaction will speak volumes . If you donât give yourselves a chance , youâll always be wondering " what if " .
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I would invite family and see if anyone comes to the wedding âŠas I see it âŠyour the bigger person sending them a invite.
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Iâd call you parents & talk & even meet up to discuss how you want them in your life & families. They may want to be there just were afraid to call or if you changed numbers etc. due to moving & they stopped trying.
Iâll be your family!!
Donât worry about anyone who isnât happy for you!!!
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You have his family who have welcomed you. Family doesnât have to be blood.
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By asking should you invite family I think answers your question itâs your big day send the invites it may hurt if they donât turn up ,but if they do it will show they are still there for you at least your know either way where you stand and who is there for you on your big day xx
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Reach out to them my family was the same way I was surprised my grandparents showed up at my wedding! But watching my grandparents and my husbandâs grandma sit at the kitchen table talking about the old days was priceless they really enjoyed each otherâs company! It was really my grandma who had a fear of black people because she was jumped as a teenager so it was just fear. And I feel like we can Break that barrier! It worked for me and hopefully it can with yours but every family is different!
good luck I know itâs a hard position to be in!!
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Call them and tell them ur happy news , you will soon find out how they feel , if they donât accept your partner just get on with ur life enjoy ur kids and love his family
His family are going to be your new family. My dad has cut me off for having a boyfriend let alone falling in love and he never wants me to marry so try not to worry I know it feels like your alone without your family but if your new family are welcoming with open arms then tbh Iâd be really happy with that x
Tell them what youâre doing and tel them itâs an open invite, they either do or donât but itâs their loss
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I invite my family to my wedding? - Mamas Uncut
Honestly if they have acted like this because of the skin color of your fiancĂ©, they will make your wedding horrible and you wonât have the long lasting beautiful memories every bride should
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Gonna probably be the odd one out here but. 
First, your feelings toward your family are completely valid. Their backwards view of the situation doesnât mean you love them or where you came from any less. There should be some sympathy and grace toward that and time to come to terms with it before the wedding, with your partnerâs help. However, I would think of it as disrespectful to your husband to subject him to people who judged him so harshly over something like the color of his skin on what is supposed to be a very special day for him as well. He is your family now, and while that might not totally alleviate the sting of not having your folks at such an occasion, neither of you are responsible for the consequences of their mindset, such as being invited to a wedding, and it shouldnât tarnish such a momentous occasion. Remember that this day is about you and him only. I work in the wedding industry and so often people get caught up in issues with their family that, while quite understandably stressful, take away from their day.
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Send the invite and that lets them know you are ready to move forward and be the better person and forgive them. If they choose not to come and be a part of yours and your kids lives then thatâs on them. You tried and should never feel guilty about it!
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You could send out a wedding announcement with streaming information.
Itâs seems as if you want them to be apart of your special day but youâre afraid they may hurt your feelings or do something rude.
You could also just send an announcement after the wedding is over.
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Ask them to come if not there loss not yours you love him be happy enjoy your beautiful day love to all
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Invite those people you want be thereâŠno need to beg or explain to them why you want them thereâŠthey know this is an important day in your life and for your future. Someday the children will know you were snubbed because they didnât approve. How will they EVER justify not showing up to their grandkidsâŠor how will anyone else in the family justify it? If they dont accept this then they are letting the kids know theyâre not accepted. Iâm sorry you are in this situation.
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I noticed at my wedding 8/8/2021 that it was okay that I didnât have a lot of my family there because when I said I do it was me taking not only my husband but taking his family too. I went to having no family to having a big ass family that are so kind caring and honestly everything I ever dreamed of having in a family. I was super greatful for all the help and support I had from my in-laws.
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I didnât have a lot of my family at my wedding and although I was bummed, I appreciated everyone that was there and it was drama free! I personally wouldnât want people there that donât respect me nor my husband.
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His family are your family too! Youâve obviously been accepted by his family and itâs a shame your family couldnât accept him but you donât need people like that in your life- family or not
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Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! This is a rough one because being disowned just sucks. I think it says a lot about your character that you still want them there.
Reaching out takes a lot of courage and I admire that. Personally, I wouldnât be able to do it. Iâd feel betrayed and thatâs not something I completely forgive or forget.
My advice: cling to your new family. Your in-laws. Maybe someday your family will come around 
For your own piece of mind invite your family and leave it there. If they want to come they will if not itâs there loss. If they donât support your choices they donât deserve your respect. Iâm sure your fiancĂ© s family will make the day one to remember. Do you not have any friends you can invite, or even 1 best friend?. Happy wedding day 
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Nope . Why bring them on your n your husband day when they do not accept him . You embrace that new family who love you and support you Two. Your family sounds very toxic .
No way- I feel my day would be ruined, love your new husband , family n kids, itâs all you will ever need enjoy the day!!
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I personally wouldnât contact them. If they judged your relationship by the color of your fiancĂ©âs skin and essential cut ties with you for falling in love then thatâs their loss. Youâre not overreacting for being upset and mourning the loss of family, especially on a big occasion like this. Your family isnât justified in their actions at all. I personally wouldnât want anyone at my wedding who didnât love and support me and my future husband and family.
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I mean my mom objected at my weddingâŠalthough years later I understood why but it still sucked at the timeâŠif they havenât been there for you all this time then itâs their loss on your special dayâŠdonât let that steal your magical moment
I would b the bigger person and invite them. If they show then GREAT!!! If not then that is THEIR loss!!! At least it shows that you were big enough to put the differences behind you and step up to b the bigger person.
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Itâs your day!!! If they canât be supportive then they wonât be able to truly enjoy your day with you! Love sees no color!
Itâs all about celebrating your love n if they canât accept, sad to say, but youâll be happier without them there.
It should only come down to ur happiness! If they canât set their feelings aside and be happy for u on ONE day that is the biggest day of ur life, then they donât need to be there. Iâd send out invites just to show you want them there, itâll be up to them whether or not they come. Just donât get ur hopes up, but feel in ur heart u showed ur being the bigger person.
Congratulations on ur engagement! Enjoy ur big day even if they donât show.
I wouldnât. It would make me happier knowing my day went as I planned it instead of having people there unsupportive of my life choices just because of the color of skin my SO has and have shit go wrong. Thats super toxic and if they feel that way they can stay right out of your life.
His family is now your family if they are loving & supportive of your relationship. Only have people there that you want there & that love & support you both. Itâs your day & his day. Itâs not about anyone else or their feelings.
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Idk if I would invite them personally because of how they reacted to the situation⊠it is a day for yâall,not drama it would be hurtful. My opinion⊠let them miss out they love you and he does itâs all that matters if they didnât agree with your happiness to begin with I donât think they should be apart of it.
I think u should invite them is either they come or stay away the main thing is that u invited then and at the end of the day ur heart is cleared and u have ur life to live.
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If it were me, I would do all I could to include them. At the end of the day, you tried and will have no regrets for doing all you can to amend the relationship
Iâd send invites. Then they know and can chose 1 way or other but if they donât come they canât say they didnât know. They may come around 1 day but you must live your new life as best you can with or without them.
No. Dont invite them if they cut you off because you love someone thats fucked up. And you said they have kidsâŠare they his or from a previous? If theyâre his they are mixed babies and they dont need to grow up or be around negative ass racist people anyway who may hate on them or treat them differently because of the color of their skin. And same goes for your future hubby. Yall are getting married and you should have his best interest at heart too. You donât want him being uncomfortable at his/your wedding. Its a huge milestone in a relationship and it should be about yall. It would suck not having family thereâŠyes⊠But you have to do what is best for your little family girl.
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