The fact that you used the words “I am partly to blame” is a large part of the problem. Especially since you are rationalizing giving time to your children. If he has you believing either of those two statements, walk away right now. If you believe both of those statements, run away now.
What psych meds is this guy on?
In my personal thought I would stay give him the last chance but definable put a stipulation on him with the phone messaging.
If this was your friend in this exact situation and circumstances asking you, what would you tell her? Do that.
That’s a lame excuse. But then again if you really think he will change,give him one last one. And if he do it again…TAKE YOUR HEART AND RUN!!!
I was going to comment. Everything’s been said. You just need to read and listen
Work it out and plan time for your husband.
Learn his love language and feed him.
I know this sounds like I am making it about him, but Im not. Im not excusing his behavior its wrong period.
However because you love him because he loves you because you have children.
Its worth trying to work out.
Working things like that out is hard.
Seriously, Seriously lear his love language. And have him learn yours!
You’re not an idiot. If he’s depressed or manic he needs help and if he’s getting help then stick by him. But you handled it the best way you could and you made it clear that you won’t tolerate it if he continues with the other behavior.
He’s shown you exactly who he is. Twice! You just need to believe him. Stop listening to words he says once he’s caught. Believe his actions when he thinks they’re secret.
Do What’s Best for You! Cheating twice is just not acceptable!! How would he react if you did it??
If your daughter was going thru this, what would you advise her to do???