Should I keep up with this or leave?

I've been in this relationship for 8 years he's an alcoholic !

the past year he’s been drinking for days! for days I mean 12 days max then comes back an acts like nothing happend/he cheated on me 4months ago acted like it was an drunk mistake I took him back, he left on Tuesday for work & didn’t come back !it’s Monday hes been gone for 6 nights an 7 days didn’t when I ask his family where he’s at they ignore me, but the thing is when he comes back after taking off his excuses was I was with my family/uncles
we got two beautiful kids I’m still a young mother learning should I keep up with this or leave

30 Likes

He has responsibilities at home that he obviously doesn’t care about… I.e you & your children. You’re the family he needs to worry about. I would leave.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I keep up with this or leave?

Would he put up with that shit from you??? No he wouldn’t! Pack your stuff and leave. Don’t even tell him.

You know the answer.

Unless you want this cycle to continue with your kids, you need to leave. There is absolutely no excuse good enough for his behaviour and you have put up with it wayyy too long. Cut your losses and move on

2 Likes

It’s past time to leave…

Leave now or he’ll leave u for someone else eventually. No matter how much men like that say they’ll change they won’t.

I’m not understanding why you even need to ask if you should leave? Obviously you’re already single and alone. He’s acting single and alone…. What would be the point in staying?

I stopped reading when you said hes an alcoholic… If you’re asking should I leave then you already know you should :two_hearts:

1 Like

Kick his arse out I wouldn’t ever put up with that

Far too much time wasted already :unamused: GOOD LUCK

Leave, he is anything but a partner.

Leave! Respect yourself enough to know you and your babies deserve so much more. Don’t sit around and let yourself be a convenience to a man that obviously doesn’t care, or genuinely love you. Do better for yourself.

So tell me has the abuse started. It will. Leave now u are putting your children in danger.

I’m in the same situation just leave. Don’t waste more of your time. I left and I’m learning to be content alone :grin:

1 Like

Um.yeah. it’s not normal nor acceptable for a partner to stop communication days on ends and then return as of the excuses he spits are worth hearing. Absolutely not. Baby girl don’t just leave, run.

1 Like

Run far and run fast

Time to go!! Should have already left!

1 Like

Get the F outta there!!!
What on earth is going through ur head!?!?

Not just ur mental and emotional state he is dragging thro the sewer… he is also potentially putting ur health at risk…

Get rid of that waste of space

1 Like

Take your kids and leave I can’t even understand why this is a question- not coming home every night is grounds for cya later—- in court

1 Like

They don’t change it only gets worse !

2 Likes

Leave. He is checking out on y’all you need to protect yourself and your children from this behavior. You’ll be better off without the stress and pain he is bringing you.

Don’t waste any more time! He’s not going to change. You DESERVE so much more and your children DESERVE a father who is available both mentally and physically all the time. Remember YOU ARE STRONG!

2 Likes

You’re already alone… You need to leave. You and the kids deserve so much more.

2 Likes

Run! Unhealthy relationship

As long as you put up with it, he will keep doing it t. The question is, do you want to continue this life, or do you deserve better? Only you can answer that

1 Like

Leave, like… do yiu really need our help? Just leave

Stay if you want to continue to live like this.

1 Like

Ugh, just leave now. Or kick him out. Change the locks while he is gone.

you need to get rid of this loser , you can find better , if you stay you are bound to get an STD, you are only encouraging him to mistreat you if you stay

I already knew you should leave by the question asking if you should… why the heck would you stay!!! Good luck momma… you nor your kids deserve that. :running_woman:t3:

Leave! He will never change!

Leave. Nothing about this is going to get any better.

1 Like

SOS save your soul! he not changing

LEAVE!!! He is go ok now to give u an STD.

Leave you and the kids deserve better thats outrageous that he disapears and doesnt call and hes a drunk and a cheater all while you are being the responsible adult/ parent nope you dont need him throw the whole jerk away

1 Like

Use your Common Sense for the Love of God and your Children

1 Like

Put his shit in black trash bags on the front porch and change the locks. Respond to nothing unless it’s about your kids. File for full custody and child support and send the papers to his mommas house. He’s already left you he just forgot to tell you.

Leave, no man would ever dip on his family like that, alcoholic or not.

1 Like

Get out now!! Do not stay he is not worth it!!

Let him come home to an empty house. Get out of there ASAP!!

3 Likes

Leave now, he’s going to keep doing this. And he’s going to have excuses after excuses, or lies after lies. Your crazy it you stay with him.

As for his family ignoring you… thats supporting his behaviour. Do the same to them when they ask about him

4 Likes

Get out. Leave. For yourself and your beautiful littles. All of you deserve better. Get out and create the wonderful life you and your littles deserve :two_hearts:

Drinking is definitely not an excuse for bad behavior

What you will allow will continue. I know leaving is easier said than done, but you have to think of yourself and those babies !

1 Like

You know you need to leave, you and your kids deserve better.

If they’re not answering then they already know he’s where he shouldn’t be and don’t want to get involved, it’s time for him to lose everything and for him to decide what he wants

Leave. If this has been going on for 8 years it isn’t going to change. Better to get out and try to go parent and find a healthy relationship when you are ready and show your kids what a healthy relationship is.

Leave. You and your kids deserve better. He can go home to a empty house. Sounds like a drunk loser

Why would that even be a question? Of course this is absolutely wrong. You have to leave or you have to make the steps to separate yourself. People like this will never stop their behavior because they can continue to get away with it. You’re training him to know that he can do this and still come home and still be with you after it’s all said and done. Stand up for yourself. Life is too short. And I say this from experience. I was with my ex for 8 years also. He was a horrible alcoholic and a narcissist with many many other issues. I was so naive as to what real alcoholism was. And it doesn’t matter if you see the good person deep down inside them - It really just does not matter. It has to be up to them to be a better person in this life. And you cannot control it whatsoever. Go make your life as beautiful as you see fit. Again, life is way too short!

Leave, know your worth and know you’re worth much more than how he’s treating you!

don’t waste anymore of your time

Most def leave. Move in silence tho.

Leave!! He will never change.

Honey you’re to young for all this,the children needs to be a priority to both parents,if only one is providing all that then ,try counseling might work

1 Like

Leave. Keep documents of everything. And get those kids so they don’t think this behavior is acceptable

It doesn’t get easier.
You should leave

Why would you want to stay? Do you really think your kids need that in their life?

1 Like

LEAVE. He wont change and doesn’t love you, think of your children

Get out now. It’s only goubg to get worse

Leave now !!! It will only will only worse…

It’s gna be very damaging to ur child in the long run if u stay… stand on hr feet…ur kids and u come first !

Honey you need leave. If he loves you he will make changes to get you back. My fiancé drank before we were married. He is a mean drinker especially with liquor. Only mean to me. I was literally afraid of him. So I told him while crying the whole time. You have to choose drinking or me. You are mean to me when drunk. I am afraid of you. I do not deserve to live that way and I will not live that way as much as I love you. I am thankful and blessed that he loved me enough to choose me and stop drinking. Married 29 years on June 20,2021. Your children do not deserve the stress his behavior has on the family and you all deserve to be loved more and treated better than what he is doing. Find an Alanon meeting in your area. A google search Alanon meetings near me or in your city or town. They teach you so much and will be a huge support for you. Prayers for your little family and that you are more valuable to him than the alcohol. Know that you and your children deserve better. Best of luck.

Leave. He is not respecting you or the marriage. I understand mistakes happen but it has to be so upsetting to not know where he is or of he is ok. He will keep on with this behavior as long as you let him.

Leave, run, he never change, don’t stay and waste lots of years on him hun, just leave.

Run as fast as you can & don’t look back …

Leave leave leave u n ur kids r better off without him

I speak from experience, get shot of him. He will never change.

There isn’t anything worth staying for. I mean, he’s not present and gone for days, he’s drinking excessively, and he cheats on you probably more than you know of. What is there to stay for? He’s already gone.

Worse his family is supporting his filthy behaviour. He will never grow up

If you’re questioning, you know the answer. Leave the toxic family.

Leave you will never take this time back you are wasting your time with someone who doesn’t respect care for you or your kids

Say bye bye! You only live once and you and your kids deserve better!!

If he won’t get help then it’s time to let him go. Your kids don’t deserve this. Get a custody agreement so he can’t drink when he has/sees them. He’s no good for you. Time to let go

You need to leave, you don’t want to bring your kids up seeing this.

1 Like

The marriage wouldn’t even got to 5mths Lol let alone 8yrs that’s what you call A sucker for punishment if that’s how he was when ya married him :rofl:

Leave his bitch ass after you get picture proof of alcohol issue so you can protect the kids in custody court you have to get pics with him drunk with beer in hand

I would leave as he would change if he loved you

Leave now and don’t look back.

What in the hell… stop taking him back and love/respect yourself… he already cheated, drunk or not… he will do it again and watch out!!! All the sexual transmitted diseases he could give you…yuck… but it’s up to you, some women don’t care that their partner is cheating as long as the partner stays. Which honestly is pitiful.

If he wanted to do right and be there for you & his kids he would be, why stay and deal with someone like that? Run as fast as you can!

1 Like

Leave and quickly. He is mistreating you.

1 Like

You deserve so much more then he is giving you and your children.

Girl, leave! You deserve better

He isn’t being your partner. And a parter is what you need to stick it out for the long haul.

His family shouldn’t be covering for him

I would leave before you’re in any deeper

Sounds like he’s not happy anymore

I was married to an alcoholic. That leaves you two choices. You can enable his addiction, or you can leave. The choice to stop drinking is his alone. If he doesn’t want to quit, then you know what you need to do. Listen to your gut. It’s not wrong.

2 Likes

Know your worth. Leave now. Make him get help if you want to continue relationship

Ummm… leave now and don’t ever go back.

1 Like

Is this a real question?? I mean come on?
But it’s your choose no one can answer that for you , you want to live like this for ever ??

1 Like

You said you’re still young. Leave him now, before he does more damage. Lying, cheating and abuse is already three strikes, but if you allow it to continue, it will do long term damage. If it’s been 8 years and he hasn’t changed, he isn’t going to, no matter what you say/do. That’s not the example of a man that I would want set for my children. End it. If he refuses to leave on his own, the next time he goes on one of his benders, pack his stuff, drop it off at his mothers house and change the locks. Consider it abandonment. Who knows what he’s doing while he’s disappearing for days/weeks on end.

3 Likes

He will continue to manipulate you, promise you the world, pull your backbone off the floor get mean, get bitchy, and show your authority, secure a place for you and the kids and legal paperwork set up so he can’t try and take the kids… just go! Don’t cave, be strong

Leave. My husband is in recovery and he would even suggest leave. Nothing is ever going to change unless you take up for yourself. He has been gone long enough for you to change the locks and kick him out. Get a lawyer and file abandonment charges kn him.

Leave the loser. Why you would even question to keep esposing your children to this is beyond my comprensión. People are saying you deserve better but its your children that do and they shouldnt have to suffer because of the choices you make.

Before making any decisions PLEASE run to a alanon meeting…u will find comfort and good support…U need to learn and do as much as u can before u make a life changing move…I promise u will ne happy u did…you are NOT alone

Personally I would leave. Think of it this way…you said your have 2 small kids. Do you want them to think that it’s ok to be treated the way he is treating you?? Or do you want your kids thinking it’s ok to treat someone that way?? Because that is the behavior they are going to witness. He isn’t showing you respect, and you deserves it…your kids deserve it. Good luck Mama, be strong.

Tell him bye felicity don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya…that’s not a partnership throw the whole man out…from experience an addict won’t clean up and have some act right unless they want to no matter what you do let him fall on his face and figure it out for himself your kids don’t deserve to see that they deserve to see a fully functioning adult not a wanna be teenager

Common sense - get out now. He may turn violent and hurt you and those babies. Why are you even still there???