She’s an adult. Make her behave like one. You are enabling her. Tell her she has 30 days and then at the end of 30 days she is gone.
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Bitch that’s your kid. You’re gonna chose dick over your kid?
As long as she is paying the rent she agreed to and helping out around the house without any other issues. What she does in her personal life is none of your business unless that is directly effecting the way you live. Idk that’s my opinion.
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Get the rules in writing and have her sign them. Don’t kick her out. She needs to blow off some steam after all the turmoil in her life. Her kids need stability as much as she does at this point. If you kick her out she’ll wind up with the no good guy for sure. Make sure she is taking care of her kids, helping around the house with chores and such but back off a little. As long as she pays and takes care of her kids like a good mom then cut her some slack. If you treat her like a child she will act like one. Treat her like an adult her messes are hers to clean, her kids are hers to take care of but as mom you can help.
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Oh my gosh 
I feel bad for your daughter
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She doesn’t need your toxic energy. She needs to heal and build herself up. Honestly, shed probably do better in a women and children’s shelter, some will give you your own room if you have multiple children and they will help you get into an apartment and childcare. It does not seem like y’all have a good history and judging by the way you’re going about this it won’t be a good future. This girl needs positivity in her life, it’s no wonder she is desperate for companionship
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Your kids will grow/ mature make a life of thier own and move on. You will be the one left alone in the end. She is not a child. Your house your rules.
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You’re her mother and those kids grandmother and you admit she has no money and you are still considering kicking her out? I would never chose a man over my kids. If your husband isn’t happy with you helping your daughter, maybe he’s the one that needs
To leave
As far as her seeing a man you don’t approve of, it’s her mistake to make if he’s not a good guy. As mother’s we want to try and save our kids from hurt and mistakes but once they are adults we can’t pick who they decide to be with. You can make rules at your house while she is there but not giving her a
Chance to live her life may also push her away from you and she may stop telling you things since you are being judgmental and hard on her. She’s going through a tough time and needs her mother’s love.
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Tbh I wouldn’t kick her out. She’s your child. Your husband needs to be more understanding. Also her dating life is really no ones business but hers.
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She is an adult and can do as she wishes. You have zero say so over her. You are charging her rent which effectively makes her a tenant and if you wish her gone, technically you would need to evict her. She is in the middle of a divorce. Leave her be and who the hell cares if you agree with her choice of men. It’s literally not your business…at all.
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She’s your daughter, your blood. Why is this even a question. Tell your husband to stfu or get out.
Wow sounds more like she needs too drop you & you’re husband & move on with her life if you ask me I’d rather have no mother (like I do) then you as a mother 
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Your a shit parent if you do
She is 23, not 13. When she was 18 & graduated is when she should have been making life decisions herself. You have done your job raising her and guiding her. Let her choose her own path. You may not agree with what she chooses, but it should have been her path to walk independently starting 5 years ago. You do not have to agree with her choices, but you don’t have to because it is her path, not yours. If she is paying, following rules of the home, being respectful, then that is not grounds to throw someone out. Would you enjoy being told who you could and could not be with? Sometimes it is best if we learn things on our own whether a positive or negative outcome. If she didn’t ask for unsolicited advice, I would not project your disapproval on her either. Maybe take a step back and think about what impact a divorce can have on people and show some empathy and grace. Maybe her trying to rush into dating someone is her way of coping. She needs to figure this out on her own. Let her learn from the choices she makes.
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If you kick her out because she is making bad choices please allow her back if she comes to her senses. She is probably going through a tough time.if she doesn’t come to her senses it is on her. I don’t know her situation with her current husband or the new boyfriend hell I don’t the situation at all. When it comes to your kids you really need to take it one step at a time
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If she’s paying, while trying to get back on her feet. You need to tuck away the selfish outlook and support her through the hard time. She needs you right now and so do your grandkids. Maybe she feels the need to run into another mans arms because she’s certainly not getting the understanding and compassion from you💁🏻♀️
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She’s your daughter. You seriously want her living on the streets?
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No. You should not. Her beliefs may not be the same as yours- and that’s ok. You cannot make someone see and believe the same way as you. It just doesn’t work that way.
And her not having anywhere to go- that’s a big no. That husband would be going out the door before my child.
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How i see it is yes shes your daughter but its your house your rules if you tell her she needs stop something she should stop. Your husband will be there even after she leaves and she’s an adult. I had to live by my father’s rules while living with him as an adult. If I had caused issues him and his girlfriend would ask me to look for a new place. If you feel it’s best don’t be upset give her a time frame to move out. Explain your reasons. She will get over it. I live in a trailer on my dad’s land. I have to follow rules if I don’t I will get chewed out. It seems unfair but he owns what my house sits on and that’s that
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She will resent you for controlling her life. Shes grown. And btw I’d leave my husband before i left my child homeless… Just being honest.
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Husband sounds more like the issue! Your kid will always be your kid! No matter what age!
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You agreed to put a roof over their heads for a price and it sounds like she’s paying it. My advice to you is take a step back and say it out loud repeatedly
MY HUSBAND OR MY DAUGHTER.
Say it until you finally realize you are making a mistake too. Best of luck to your family. May you open your heart and home to the people who love you the most.
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It’s “parents” like you that make me grateful for the one I have . I only have my mom and my 4 kids and though I’ve not made the best life choices she’s stillll here for all of us. My recent bad choice ended me up with a now 3 wk old baby girl but guess what we’re all still in it together
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Please no rude comments…. but you are talking about throwing your own flesh and blood onto the streets AND your grandchildren? Over her being separated from her husband and seeing another man. Yikes lady we are not in the 1950’s anymore. A lot of people live together without even being married anymore. 😵💫😵💫😵💫
She can’t afford to be on her own right now, you KNOW this, but you’re more worried about petty nonsense than your daughter! She’s agreed to your RULES at home, so what she’s doing in her personal life doesn’t have any effect on you. Kick her out because of your husband??? I really don’t understand Mothers who sit around and try to plot to destroy their own kid!!! I’ll be praying for you both.
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Well as a Parent of 30 years, All I can say is If she is paying her rent ,cleaning up after herself the only thing You can control is Whom she brings to the house, outside of You’re house is really none of you OR your husband’s business. She is an adult, and can date anyone she pleases.
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Number one. She is an adult not a child so she’s gonna do what she wants to do.
Number two her marriage is non of your business you have no idea what their marriage is like anyway.
3rd if all it takes is a disagreement with your personal opinion on HER marriage is all it takes to destroy your own marriage and kick your child out then You need to reevaluate your life choices
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Ew no. Never put any man before your kids whether she’s grown or not. Besides the not following rules happened when she was a teenager like any normal teen.
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Definitely damned if you do damned If you dont
I’m sorry but my husband ain’t telling me what I can and can’t do when it comes to our children. And if they had grandkids. There supposed to come 1st before anyone. I hope your daughter finds somewhere healthy she and the kids can be.
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So just bc she’s moved back in with you doesn’t mean you have a say in who she sees or anything in her life. She’s paying rent, she’s not a child. She’s an adult and divorce is hard. She’s probably going through a lot and it’s not easy moving back. Go easy on her, support her. Sit down with her and tell her you’re worried. Ask her to respect the rules again.
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No offense but how do you know if the guy is good or not? And you cant expect her not to confide in someone even if it is a male. Seems like she cant really talk to you about it considering your judging her for her teen years. I have said and done things in my teen years I’m not proud of including telling my momma I hate her, but we were able to mend those bridges and are close now and I have changed since a teen as well. Give her a chance for heavens sake shes your flesh and blood. You cant judge her on a failed marriage no offense but you have an older daughter and younger kids so seems like you have had a failed relationship yourself and you should understand what shes going through and be supportive not downing her
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God I love my mom. Like for real, she would never think like this. I’m blessed. Sorry, just thinking out loud.
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Woah so much negativity. She’s your daughter. Why would you kick her when she’s down?
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I’m thinking your husband should go!
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She is an adult and she is one that has made the poor choices, it is your house and she should live by your rules or find some place else to live.
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Mother like u will only drive ur daughter away from u…
U are controlling her life u an ur husband …
A MOTHER is someone who JOURNEYS ALONG Good an Bad times in her children lifes an to bring Joy and Comfort …
A Mother is someone who is suppose to leave a LEGACY OF WHAT BEING A TRUE MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER IS ALL ABOUT.
U are suppose to support ur daughter if she is dating someone get to know the guy be a friend to ur daughter an her boyfriend… She is divorce an trying to seek a companion in her life as a Mother be supportive
Your MAN IS THE PROBLEM not your daughter an her children…
NO WONDER she is desperately looking for companionship an she is willing to run in any man arms …
U dont want ur daughter to be happy u want cause her life misery…
u are out to destroy ur daughter life an grandchildren lifes…
You would put your kid out when she needs support most? No wonder she blows you off. You don’t respect her so why should she respect you?
One day to come ur one an only daughter will never want see ur face again…
Ur grandchildren will hate u forever.
Seems u are selfish mother who only cares about ur Man an not ur daughter…
U suppose to be ur daughter Best friend and support her not treat her an ur grandkids like crap…
A man will come an go but ur daughter is ur child…
The hardship an Unhapiness one mother can cause in her daughter life its a shame an disgrace …
U should decide to get a professional third party involved to help mend the damage you have likely already contributed to you & your daughters relationship.
But u care about ur man needs so u rather kick ur daughter out an keep ur man .Only a heartless mother would do such thing…Smhhhh.
A MOTHER IS SOMEONE who is suppose to bring comfort in her children lifes.
I know of someone who is in a situation like ur daughter an ur grandkids right now…
Try to make it work with ur daughter let her be ur friend an support emotionally
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You would put your kid out when she needs support most? No wonder she blows you off. You don’t respect her so why should she respect you?
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If your child is an issue to your husband, grown or not, that man has got to go. You literally said heaven had issues with her when she was a kid. And u still with him. 
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My daddy would of kicked my mama out before he put me and the grand kids out!!
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Shes 23 I get rules I your home but her life choices are hers I don’t think her dating when she’s sleekly separated is a good reason to kick her out if she’s respecting your rules in your home what she does out side of it her her business she’s an adult and I truly mean no disrespect we all run our home differently and your beliefs and wants for your family are your own just and outside prospective
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Husband sounds like a douche
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My kids will always come before any man husband or not. I hate women and men who put their man/wife before thier children. Idc idc
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Maybe you guys should have her sit down and talk to her And explain to her it’s not okay to see other men while being married make her understand that if she and her kids are living there she has to listen and obey the rules.
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If you have to say “pleas no rude comments” you already know what you just said is trash! 1 she is grown she can date whoever she wants regardless of if she is in the middle of getting a divorce or still married that is her business and it’s her life to live! 2 she is your child no matter her age we as mothers have a duty and responsibility to take care of our children and help them out till the day we die. I dont give a rat’s ass what anyone says your child comes before a man all day every day no matter what and if he can’t stfu and let you be a mother to your child then he needs to go!! And 3 she is paying rent that means she has a job and is being a responsible adult.
Are you having to babysit? You should have helped her get a place if you know your husband doesn’t want her there.
Why is choosing between your child and husband even an option??? Like my kids come before anyone including myself. My babies will always have a home with me even if the are grown, married, with kids. They will always be welcomed home with open arms and if your husband has a problem with that y’all needa talk. My kids would ALWAYS be first
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Are you f*#%ing nuts?
Get rid of your husband and get a professional third party involved to help mend the damage you’ve likely already contributed to you & your daughters relationship.
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I’ve been through something similar. Except my husband and I wanted her here. I wanted her to have a chance after a bad relationship. All I wanted to do was help her. She was 24 moved from out of state.
Now that being said she didn’t follow our rules, she wasn’t contributing. Even with her yelling if I mentioned cleaning or just cleaning up after herself and after her dog we didn’t kick her out. She was to preoccupied with a new relationship 
Eventually she moved out.
Now what I learned from it no matter what she does she’s my daughter no matter if I agree with her decisions. No matter how furious I get with her. She still struggles with poor decisions but so did I at that age. We learn through experience. So my advice be supportive and your husband who isn’t her father should never say he doesn’t want your child there. She’s going to not listen, she’s going to think she knows it all, let her. Just be there.
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Fuck ur husband ,. That is all🤦🏼♀️
I know you don’t want rude comments and I’m not trying to sound rude but you sound toxic. Put yourself in your daughter’s shoes. She needs your support right now. Her relationship is none of your business. Her life choices are none of your business. You may not agree with her life choices but as long as she is respecting your home and you, you should respect her. Just because she is living in your home, doesn’t mean you get to dictate what she can and can’t do. I hope you can see that before your daughter comes to resent you.
Yeah shes an adult. You can’t just expect her to listen to what you say because she lives with you. She pays rent. She can do what she wants. Your husband sounds controlling. Who chooses their husband over their own flesh and blood wtf. My mom did this and I don’t talk to her anymore. Kick your stupid ass husband out for making you choose between her and him and screw you no rude comments. Only reason you added that was because YOU KNOW YOURE WRONG. You sound like an awful parent. I feel so bad for your daughter. You’re terrible. What a horrid mother you are. Your poor daughter.
What business is it of yours who she is dating as an adult? Living with you or not, that’s not your business just like who you’re with isn’t hers…
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If shes following your house rules thats fine. But just know your a peice of 
if you kick her out for having a relationship with someone else.
That’s not your job to control her.
Shes 23 and see who ever she wants.
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Jesus youre disgusting
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Her dating life isn’t something you should try to control in the first place
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WTF? Some people should have never become parents.
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Not your marriage. Not your business.
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She is still married has two children to take care of and should not be seeing a married man.She should be taking care of her kids and get her life together.I was surprised how any people said the mother should get rid of her husband.Wonder what the men in their lives think about that.
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She is your child … You should support her … She is separated from her husband and free to date … She is 23 years old … She needs your support … Your husband doesn’t sound that nice … I feel sorry for your daughter
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So leave her homeless or running into the arms of this “bad guy”. Seperated at 23? Sounds like she is going through alot…support her don’t brush her off🥺
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Frankly she’s an adult. You can not control who she chooses to have a relationship with. What you can control is who she brings into your home and rules of the house. I think it’s ridiculous you wanna kick her out cause of that. If she’s into drugs, stealing shit and endangering your kids, by all means get her the hell out of your home
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It is time your daughter grew up - she is 23 years old, don’t keep enabling her bad behavior.
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Your house your rules. If she is doing something that you dont agree with.
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She’s a grown adult who is paying you rent for a room in your house. If she were a stranger renting this room, same exact situation, would you and your husband be inserting yourselves in this persons personal life? You said she’s having “problems” in her marriage, and not to sound ignorant, but to me, this “problem” sounds like the marriage is over since she’s seeing someone else. I think that it’s ignorant to throw your own daughter out, when she’s paying rent, over something that shouldn’t really concern you and your husband as long as she’s not bringing any men into your home 
sounds like her marriage fell apart and if I were her the last thing I would want is my mom and her husband shaming me about life decisions and making me feel even worse than she probably already feels about it why jump straight to throwing her out? Why is your husband so concerned about her choices that he’s willing to cause problems in your own marriage about it?
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I think the clear answer here is she’s your child soooooo isn’t it obvious?
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Your husband sounds like a spoiled child. And while it’s not the best choice to date married even if seperated its not your business she’s 23. If her choices don’t affect you and the man child and she’s following said rules let her live her life!
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The dungeon method has worked from the beginning of time
If I was your daughter I will move out but far away from you!!! Jesus I can’t understand people like you I am a mother of 3 and pray to god my kids never struggle and if they do my door will be always open not matter what I put my kids first than anybody including my husband I don’t care…
Shame on you for real
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This is so sad. Should I kick her out??? You are joking right. Who gives a shit who she’s dating. She’s clearly separated. She’s paying rent it’s none of your business. Be happy for your child and talk to her like an adult.
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Sounds like you’ve a messy picked your husband over your daughter in more ways than one…I honestly feel bad for her…your husband sounds like a controlling prick and you are desperate for a man…so very sad
Wow. She never said that her man is making her choose. Maybe she’s just feeling pressure knowing how things will go. It’s not wrong for her to feel some of these things. Although… 1 she is an adult and can do as she pleases as long as she’s not bringing em into the house (as you seem to maybe have impressionable young ones.)
2 talk it over with your man and get his honest nonbiased opinion as she is now an adult and you dont need to hover in any way
3 make clear rules she should abide by such as no men in and out of the house. If she breaks the rules or doesn’t pay rent after a certain set time cut your losses.
Just be supportive but don’t get walked over either. If you can’t handle that or she cant or if you really think it’d be too much on your life there is no shame in admitting it won’t work. She may be your daughter but she is also an adult. I would never go back to my moms simply based off how she did me and my family after we got out of the military. We’re still close but there was much trauma from that and all sorts of other experiences. Just because they’re family doesn’t give em the right to treat you like trash if thay was ever the case. Everything here for you mostly just theoretical. I hope you find something that works for you all. Good luck
Ok… for all the people making this woman feel like a piece of shit for even considering her own relationship - this is not an either/or situation. You shouldn’t have to choose. Your daughter is a grown arse adult, and you can still support her if she’s not in your home. Help her find her own strength, and give her the ability to support herself. Now if hubby has issues with that, well that’s his problem. As for your daughters relationship, that’s for her to work out.
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Leave your husband. Your children always come first regardless of age or actions.
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I also have to laugh at “please no rude comments or positive comments only” why even ask then? Obviously people are goin to have opinions, that’s why you’re in her asking for advice. Telling the truth isn’t rude. The fact that you put your partner before your child is concerning. She was probs just being a normal teenager, and more than likely the reason she’s had a failed relationship is the way she was treated growing up. Her dating life is none of your business, as long as she’s taking care of her children. (I’m confused as to if the young children are yours or hers) she’s 23. As long as she’s contributing you can’t really treat her like a child. If you didn’t want her there, helping with an apartment might have been a better option for you and your crappy husband who’s making you choose between your daughter and him. Shameful.
How is she 23 and can’t support herself yet. She needs to get her own place and you and your husband need to live your lives.
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As long as she is following your rules than that is up to her not you. Yes she is making a bad choice however it’s her life and she needs to learn on her own. Help her get a place and make a plan for her to be out in 90 days.hold your ground on your rules. This guy is probably just a rebound. She’s probably just going though alot. I know it’s hard but try to be supportive. Your husband is just gonna have to deal with if for a little bit.
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So… You’re going to choose a man over your daughter. Mother of the year.
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I would hate to be your daughter
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If she’s living in your house, your rules apply.
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you well be setting her up for more failure be the voice that reminds her of her value / worth. we cant change the path our children take. but we can be the uncondional loving voice. not the one who makes them feel like they are not good enough. walk beside with love.
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She is an adult and free to date who she wants. Whether you agree or don’t agree in sure she’s broken and doing what she needs to to heal on her own terms. Sometimes being a psrent doesn’t mean we always agree but we understand that they are on their own journey and judgement isn’t helpful. She’s also not a teenager anymore. Having old resentment is not a good start to being what she needs.
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Good lord. Why in the world do you care who she’s seeing as long as she doesn’t have him in your house? Just because she’s not divorced yet doesn’t mean anything? It would be a cold day in hell before I would ever chose a man over my kids. I have literally never in my life heard anything this ridiculous. 
What’s wrong with these women picking men over their kids though ? Weird !!!
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Are the two young children hers?
She apparently didn’t like “rules” in het marriage either.
No visitors, no house guests. Don’t like it, move out.
You did your time with her. She wants to remain defiant she can be homeless. You don’t deserve it
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I’m going to get a lot of hate for this, but I’m still gonna say it.
AS A PARENT it was my job to raise my kids to make SOUND decisions. The moment she goes on her own, is the moment MY HOUSE, is my house again. She won’t be moving back in. She’s been taught about traits of narcissistic personality disorder. She’s seen me go through hell. She’s been very well raised by both me, and her father…were super close, and she’s my world, but I raised and taught her for 18 years how to live so she won’t need to come back home. Is she welcome at my house, yes. She can bring laundry, she can take food…but she will not be (AS A GROWN ASS WOMAN) living in my house.
If she ain’t respecting your home, cleaning after herself, and TRYING to do better, she’s gots to go. She’s back home and y’all here defending her abhorrent behavior, living with mom again and entertaining yet another man when SHE DOESN’T HAVE HER SHIT TOGETHER. A man should not be her priority. ESPECIALLY not having any respect for the sanctity of her marriage. She’s probably the reason her marriage fell apart.
Speaking for her as i went through a similar issue(before i had kids), please let her stay. My parents both kicked me out when i was 16. I went through a ROUGH time. I was sleeping on streets. Got with the wrong people. Almost got killed by my ex. Staying with random people. It was horrible. And yeah im doing okay now many years later. But i would’ve been so much better off if i had any type of support system.
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If she is already dateing and won’t take any advice I am afraid she needs to go and learn about real life
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Depends on if you want to have a relationship with your daughter or not. She is an adult. You cannot control people, even if they’re your kids. I do see a lot of women prioritizing their husband’s. I don’t get it but I guess some are like that
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Okay …… I’m looking at this from your point of view and get where you are coming from been in a similar situation, ( kid wasn’t married ), it does indeed add stress to a marriage. And in the long term can affect the relationships between all three of you .
Couple of questions 1) where are the kiddos ? 2)
Can you afford to set her up somewhere reasonably priced for a set time to allow her to get her act together as an adult ? 3) can you get her into therapy ? Sounds like there is something more going on with her . 4) is her marriage worth saving ?
Your concerns are valid , this does indeed add stress to a marriage, it’s time for your daughter to be responsible for her own life and take responsibility for her actions and deal with the consequences, otherwise she will never learn anything.
I bet she is going through a lot right now and won’t show you. She needs you more than you think I feel. Maybe now that she is an adult with two kids and not a teenager it will be different. But she probably needs to get some crazy out hence the hook up. Maybe just try sitting down with your husband and talk about what y’all expect this time around then talk to her about it? Jumping to kicking her out in this time of need will only make her resent you.
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If she is holding up her end of the original agreement then I say voice your concerns lovingly and politely, but hold up your end of the deal as well.
Hard one but I would say respect is the key word. Your house and her privacy. Have a feeling you already know what to do. It’s what you want to do.
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She’s an adult now. If she’s seeing someone else, as long as he’s not over at your place, who cares? She’s an adult!
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I have adult children and you know what I wasn’t put here to control? Their love lives. If the sole reason you want to kick her out is because she’s seeing someone while separated from her spouse, you’re not being a good mother. Your husband, who obviously isn’t her father and has no parental feelings towards her, needs to shit up and mind his business. Why don’t you try supporting your daughter instead of causing her grief? It’s not like you’re doing her a favor by letting her live there, you’re making her pay for it which makes her a tenant. Money she could be saving to get her own place.
Not with the grandbabies. Give her some room right now and time. She wont get her head on straight out in the streets that’s for sure.
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Boundaries! Tell her not in your house! Love her from afar and let her sort it out without involving you and your husband
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I would suggest to try and be supportive bc you’re gonna end up pushing her away.… I mean y’all are making her pay rent to stay with you while she’s going through a tough time in her life, which is fine bc she’s an adult but… if you consider her grown enough to pay rent then how do you justify trying to control her personal life? Also… your husband sounds like an asshole. #respectfully
I’m sorry. Everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have at the moment even if it looks different from that from the outside. Be kind and understanding with byourself. Be honest and kind with your loved ones. Step out of the chaos for a bit and the answers will come. Life should never be about choosing between those that you love.
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