My litler brother just turned 18 and he wants to travel by himself to another state 4 hrs by fly with very limited money and he said that he’d go with some friends from high school but after talking to him and telling him that his story doesn’t add up he admitted that it’s because he met a girl online and wants to meet her for first time.I feel like my heart tells me to say no but I also feel for him. He got bullied at school as a kid, we lost our mom 6 years ago and my dad has a hard personality to deal with. He has felt left out and alone with his new school and saying no feels like I’m preventing him from his depression and everything but it just doesn’t feel right. I asked more details about this girl and he hasn’t met online her mom or anything and I’m just suspicious. What would you do? Let him go? Or not at all?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I let my 18 year old brother travel alone?
I’d go with him maybe? Book a hotel and just be there for him?
Go with him, get him out meeting people too
He is 18! My son as already done this. He is 18
I mean he is 18 so he can go if he wants but if you are really concerned, sit down and talk to him. Tell him the reasons you are concerned. If he still decides to go then come up with a back up plan for him
He’s an adult. By trying to stop him he will want to go even more. Let him find out for himself. I’m sure you made mistakes as a young adult and learned lessons
I would make sure he has face timed her and that he isn’t being cat fished. After that let him go
Hes 18… a grown adult what do you mean “let” him …
He’s 18, legally he’s an adult. Let him go, have a plan if things go bad, but let him go and see how this works! It could be the best thing ever
Has he face timed her and stuff to know she’s real at least for sure? If so that’s a plus at least… do a background check…
I mean he’s 18 but I do see why you’re worried . Maybe you should go with
I would let him go but i would also go with just to be safe because hes still young and has his whole life ahead of him, also this world is cruel so you dont know if its really a young woman he met or not esp online mommy
Go with him for back up. Just make sure he’s okay, make sure he’s not being catfished just for emotional support etc.
Sorry but since he’s 18 there’s nothing you can do. Let him spread his wings and let him venture out.
yea he’s 18…but it sounds like he might live with her so therefore he still has rules to abide by
Can’t you drive if it is 4 hours? May help him to understand about being scammed. Hard decision but I don’t think him going alone is a good idea.
Let him go? You can’t make him do anything - he’s legally an adult now and will do as he wants. Life is full of lessons and you cannot keep him from learning them, whether it be by the easy way or the hard way. You can help guide him by advice and such, but ultimately it’s his decision as to listen to it or not.
I would ask him if you could maybe meet the girl by calling her on the phone, video chat, something. And recommend having your brother give you the name, phone number, and address of this girl just in case you need to or can’t get ahold of him when he leaves, but let him know you support his decisions and will be there for him
He’s 18, good luck trying to control another adult
He’s 18, so technically you can’t tell him no, but, if you’re concerned, talk to him and voice your concerns about him going, especially since he doesn’t know much about this girl, and maybe offer to go with him
Unless he has a disability that makes him not have good judgement, I say, he’s an adult and let him do what he wants. If this were my oldest child, I’d tell him to do his work and go if it feels right. My middle child has an intellectual disability but is high functioning and will be able to live on his own. I’d do the research for him or with him to be sure it’s not some crazy person or a catfish.
You don’t have a say tho… he’s now 18. There is no letting him go. You can’t stop him…
Why don’t you go and get a separate hotel room and be that safe place for him if it doesn’t work out?
Hes 18 you have no say
But i would for sure get as much info as you can. Her name. Photo. Address. Ect.
I sent mine from Illinois to Oregon state at 16 to meet her bf which ended up being her girlfriend. That’s how I found out she was a lesbian. A year later the gf came here for the summer.
He’s 18… therefore an adult and you can’t stop him. You can tell him your concerns but at the end of the day it’s his money and his choice
Follow your gut. Make a Plan B.
Controlling much??? He’s 18. Time for him to live and learn.
I would ask to set up a video chat to meet her￼. And maybe suggest him meeting her parents on the phone too￼
I’d tell him no - let’s go together. It’s a safety thing. I know 40 year old men who have fallen into traps going to “meet a girl” - how is he going to finance this trip?
Yes I would be concerned but at the end of the day he is 18 you can’t really tell him that he can’t go
He is 18, it’s not your choice anymore
I wouldn’t want my 18 year old daughter doing this. Definitely try to make sure she is legit…
He’s 18. You really don’t have any say on what he does
I travelled at 16 by myself to go to a summer school in another province. At 19 I backpacked Southeast Asia for 2 months. He is practically an adult. I would just get the name of the girl and address for safety
Get more info about the girl. Talk to her. FaceTime ! Make sure she’s is real
He’s old enough but due to the issues you pointed out I’d be so worried about him being cat fished and scammed. I hope the girl is legit and doesn’t send him into a deeper depression
Has he FaceTimed her? Is she a real person? Is she over 18 ?
I don’t know, I’ve seen too many Dateline episodes.
I hope it all works out
Have her come to you
Very sweet he has you to have his back but his 18 he is going live and learn do what makes him happy! As a big sis all you can do is remind him of safety! I hope he isn’t being cat fished. But hope he has fun!
I would ask him to facetime or WhatsApp videocall her in front of you. In that way, you will feel more comfortable and know that she is real.
will you have to give the money?
If you can go with him
He should have enough money to get himself hotel nights atleast or don’t go in my opinion
Unless you they video chat regularly
I’d definitely look into making sure the girl is also at least 18 yrs old
Not by himself if I could prevent it. I mean he is legal. Go with him.
My nephew pulled the same thing. My sister let him go her family was looking to suck money out of him . Thankfully my sister kept his bank card . He only had cash . He got home the girl said she was pregnant. She wasn’t . Within a month she was with someone else and did get knocked up . Have him ask her to come to your place instead. Tell him thsn next time he can go there
He is 18 that means he can do as he pleases when he pleases and it doesn’t matter if you like it or not.
I definitely would not let him go alone but he’s also 18 so not as soon as super ton you can do besides offering to go for safety issues. For all we know this is a dude or a trap and he’s killed.
He’s 18 legally he can do as he wants.
But has he even FaceTimed this girl, how does he know she isn’t a catfish.
This could be some elaborate set up to scam, rob or harm him.
We allowed our 17 year old to take the train to his older brothers house in Atlanta alone. I would need way more info on the girl.
A confirmed address and phone number and a conversation with her parents
Catfish: The TV Show
I’d def have them video chat before he goes and you witness it. Or have them meet halfway? Or you go? Or bring her to hall vs him to her ?
He’s 18 it’s not your choice. & btw no one meets parents online lol
He’s 18 lol he’s grown
I would tell him to take the money he is using to fly her here to meet him. I’d probably even offer to pay for a hotel for her if she doesn’t feel comfortable staying with you. At 18 he has stars in his eyes for this girl and no one is going to convince him differently but safety is the #1 priority. Human trafficking is still going on out there so one bad decision can ruin his life. I’d say bring her to him
I met a guy online …was friends 3 yrs … i drove to texas to meet him . Everybody was against it even my son who is 35 yrs old wouldnt talk to me bcuz he thought i was crazy. I stayed 2 weeks n loved this man in person as i did online …he was my best friend. He died 32 days later after i got back home. I will NEVER regret going.
Are you able to go with him?
Too many scary things happen these days. I’d be hesitant…
I see a lot of “he’s 18 an adult, you can’t stop him”
18 only means he can join the military and be charged as an adult. Parents/legal guardians have say so until the 19th birthday. 18 isn’t a magical number anymore …
My advice would be maybe go with him if it’s an option, have a FaceTime conversation with the girl and depending on the girls age have a conversation with her parent(s) make sure she is of legal age and not lying. There are so many different things to worry about with situations like this with how messed up the people are these days…
I’m really confused why he’s even asking for permission he’s an adult you really have no say whether he lives with you or not he is 18￼
I’d buy him a, two way plane ticket
He can do as he pleases. You can’t protect him forever.
I traveled around the US at 17/18 to meet most of my online friends.
This day I wouldn’t. Your brother don’t know who ‘she’ is on other side of internet.
You can’t forever hold your brother’s hand. He needs some independence now he is 18. Sure you can express your concerns but ultimately it’s his decision.
You can go with him if you wish but may feel like a burden on his part
Fly her to him and go pick her up at the airport that way he’s safe, still gets to meet her, the limited money won’t really matter as they’ll have a place to stay. You’ll be there which should give the young girl some comfort knowing another female is there also should give her Mom comfort too.
Go with him & check her out!
Go with him. But let him go. Yes.
At 18 you can’t stop him. Treat him like the adult he is and explain your concerns with him and talk to him adult
Next on unsolved mystery
Have you talked with this girl?? And maybe, her parents ??? After doing this, then yes, maybe
Should you let him?? He’s 18 he’s legally an adult he can do what he wants
It’s not about the flying or traveling alone as much as it is where he is going and WHO he is going to meet. Can’t trust anyone these days… that would be the challenging part to me. But he is 18…
Look into possibly driving him he’d be safe n u be able to meet her as well make sure there no craziness.
My brother did this same thing, but kept up the lie. He ended up across the country with his money stolen and no where to stay. My dad had to western union him money to get him back. It was not a good situation at all.
I feel like 18 you don’t always make the best decisions. Maybe go through all the possibilities of what could happen. You never know what you’re going to meet and unfortunately there are so many bad people in this world.
Let him go , my lads the same , and he’s met a girl and he’s away today until Saturday, he asked could he go and at 18 I couldn’t say no , and was pleased he asked me to be honest and didn’t just go
It’s not your choice he’s 18
If it were a trip with friends I’d say let him (I did that) but the fact he’s meeting up with someone he’s never met I’d say no. Better to offer to go with so he’s not alone and catfished. Let him know you’re not trying to control or stop him but you want to make sure it’s safe so maybe do a road trip or fly out together and explore the area as siblings. Meet up at a restaurant with her friends or another neutral place as a group. Not just him and “her” (because let’s be honest it could be a catfish situation)
Go with him if you’re feeling down about everything. But in my opinion of you can’t go also then it’s no all together but remember he is 18 so if he did go there is nothing you can do. Voice your concerns
Yes he’s 18 but he’s still your Brother and your right to look out for him and want to protect him. If you can’t go with him to meet the girl then at least get her on the face time, find out exactly where he is booked to stay while he is away. Catfish is a real thing and there’s some sick crazy people out there. Looking out for loved ones is never wrong. Good luck x
He’s 18, considered an adult. He is not obligated to tell you anything tbh and he doesn’t have to let you go with him. It’s his own business.
No! Could definitely be a setup. Until you have personally talked to her and her family FaceTime. That would bring a hard No. Or go with him.
He’s 18, he’s legally an adult. Just warn him of the dangers.
Let him go?
He’s an adult. Mind your business
Why do you mean ler?? You can’t tell your brother what to do
Honey… You can’t stop him. He is an adult.
Umm he is 18 and u don’t own him
He’s 18 and if he’s determined you can’t stop him. Trouble is, he could get there and end up without the money to get back and no place to stay. I would go with him if you can and test the waters a bit. See what the girl is like and her people. It might be ok and it might not be ok and he’ll need your help. If he insists on going and going on his own, make sure he has a cellphone with your number in it and be ready for an SOS call. You can always call the airline and have his plane ticket waiting for him at the airport so he can get back again.
I don’t care if he’s 18 why do people keep saying he’s 18 he can do as he pleases ummmm no he can not 18 isn’t a magical number that gives these children the right to tell us what they doing he still has to ask if he can go somewhere or do something does he pay his own rent? Bills? Have a job? Drive his own car? If he does not than yes everything goes thru me as long as he lives under your roof what u say goes as for meeting someone on line and flying to meet them id say that’s a strong NO you don’t know who is really at the other end of that computer I read someone else comment suggesting that maybe fly the girl to you that’s an amazing idea or maybe u going with him either all works but the way things are these days I wouldn’t let him go don’t listen to people when they say he can do as he pleases cause of his age cause that only applies when he can independently and financially take care of himself good luck
Technically he doesn’t NEED your permission to go. But realistically, I completely understand your concerns. You could go with him and get a hotel room so that you’re nearby if a problem arises. Or you could ask him to facetime you off and on throughout the visit to ease your mind and know he’s alive and well. If you try to say no, he may possibly go anyways and cut contact with you while he’s gone. It’s hard letting go when they’re still in your mind a child, but he’s got to have some freedom to make his own memories or mistakes.
I would ask if he’s at least video chatted/FaceTime this person just for his safety. I’d be interested to know details of where he’s at but not because you can really stop him, but just so you at least know because the internet is crazy and you really never know. I’d be worried but you should let him do whatever he wants to do with his own money, seeing as he is an adult.
If you have a bad feeling about it go with him
He’s an adult. And unless he has any learning disabilities, you can’t stop him. Although if it was me, I’d try to go with. Not to be right on top of him but just so he knows you’re there.
He’s an adult. He can legally do just about anything without telling anyone his plans
Are you his legal guardian? If not you have no say……
I’d trust your gut. I’m sure you play a more motherly role in his life now and it sounds like he could use some guidance!
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