Should I let my daughter choose her haircut?

Should I let my daughter get a pixie haircut she is only twelve and I keep telling her no be she keeps bugging me for it. I'm more afraid is she is going to get bullied again and she says she won't care what what people think but I know her too well I know her feelings were she will literally take it out on me and her father cuz I know when something bad at school happens she takes it out on me and her dad.

Hmm that’s tricky. Tell her if she wants a haircut like this to wait. Wait for a few weeks to go by and if she still wants it then she can. It’s hard doing something when you already know how theyll react but sometimes you just have to let them anyways. Or maybe tell her she can only cut x amount of hair off at first and see how she feels instead of cutting so much off.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I let my daughter choose her haircut?

Let her!! Life lessons best learned early


I let my kids pick their haircuts. It’s hair it grows back.

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It’s only hair. Let her pick her hair style.

Let her express herself. It’s only hair, it will grow back. Tell her she looks beautiful. Also let her know that bullies hate themselves. That’s a reflection of them, not her.


Let her omg micromanaging her life will cause her to resent you


Let her pick what she like it’ll grow back damn

as I always said it grows back…I left my daughter do all kinds of hair styles it grows out

Yes it grows back we always have. Do they always like it not always but then next time they say I don’t want to go so short or I don’t want to keep it so long. We always say it looks super cute on you and just go with it.

bigger battles than hair


As someone who was bullied when a kid my hair was the best way for me to express myself. It gave me a feel of control and honestly if I didn’t like it short I could just put in some clip ins.

Let her! Teach her how to love herself and express herself in a healthy way! So she doesn’t give any shits about what those bullies say!
My oldest son repeats what the bullies say to him in a mimic voice then tells them he doesn’t care how they feel about him it’s no sweat off his back and goes about his day he’s only 7


She should absolutely be able to choose her own haircut, kids will always find something to bully about. She should be able to express herself freely. Support don’t control :purple_heart:


When my kids started school I started allowing them to do what they want with their hair. As long as they were able to manage it on their own. Its just hair, it allows them a way to express themselves. I see no harm in it.


It’s her head not yours :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Let her pick her own hair style that is how people express themselves .


By 12, she can choose her hair style. Hate to say it but shes gonna do it with or without the ok from you. And if she does it herself its gonna get messed up. Then your gonna have to take her to a salon anyways. Avoid rhe needless fighting about it and just let her do it

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Only 12? She should already be able to choose her haircut. Of course in her adult years she may jokingly ask you why you let her do ______ or _______. But she’ll love you regardless. There are worse lessons to learn from than a potentially bad haircut. I recommend getting on Instagram and looking at hairstylists near you. You can see their work, your daughter can provide a picture of the haircut she is going for.

Their hair. It grows back. Not seeing the issue.

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My daughter is 4 we just got matching Mohawks let her do it


I think it will be her experiencing how she feels getting to know herself :heart: it’s ok mama let her try it.

Let her do what she wants it’s her hair and it isn’t hurting anyone so why not…?

Definitely let her choose … its not permanent so if she doesn’t like it she can grow it again

As someone who was in your daughter place I say let her get the cut.

My daughters are 6 and 5 and have been asking me for short hair. I’m letting them do it next week. After all hair grows back

Let her do it! It’s her hair . If she doesn’t like it . It will grow back. Sadly if it’s not her hair it will be something else if she is having trouble with a bully at school. It’s all in how you teach her. Also welcome to having a preteen and there emotions are all over the place. I have a 15 year old daughter I’ve went down that rabbit hole.
Don’t take her being upset personal. Teach her appropriate ways to deal with her emotions .

I always let me my 3 girls pick out there haircut.

Yes, let her choose. No one needs to like how she looks except for herself.

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Yep. Hair grows back

Actually when it comes to haircuts for my children that is my only rule is that it’s only on their terms ever like it’s their hair style their hair color and they get a cut when they wanna get a cut it’s never up to me because it’s not my hair.

I would probably let her try it 1st before a permanent cut

Let her get what she wants she’s 12 not 2

It’s only hair, it will grow back. There are way worse things to worry about in life.


Maybe get her a cute little pixie cut wig to wear for a bit and see how she feels. If she loves it do the chop!
My girl is 5 and is always asking to cut her hair off lol. I told her by a certain age I’ll let her.

I let my 11yr old get a pixie cut, it’s only hair let her learn!!!

Perhaps have her sign some thing that says that if she is unhappy with the response from others regarding her haircut she won’t take it out on you and her Dad and then have her agree to a punishment like no phone for a day or some thing else that she really likes.

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My girl is 7 and on Friday I am taking her for a cut. Her hair is to her bum and she wants it to her shoulders and hey if she wants it short I will let her. As it on most days is hard to manage so I just think shorter is better cause she can start to manage it on her own.


Have her write out a statement that says she can’t complain or be angry if she gets bullied. You both sign it

Why would she take it out on y’all? If she gets the cut and doesn’t like it, it’s really not your fault because she kept begging. Even after you told her no.

Yes. It’s hair. It’ll grow back. I fought both my girls for as long g as I can remember about specific short hair styles. It’s not worth the fight. If it makes them happy… cut it. It’ll grow back. And if she don’t like it… live and learn.

My daughter is 11 and we just let her get her hair cut lol it took some convincing for us to finally say ok… she had hair almost to her waist this is now… And she is inlove she loves styling it and the fact it is soooo much easier to shampoo her own hair


You should let your daughter express her self regardless of how you feel of what MIGHT happen. Especially at this age.


My daughter is 17 and I still won’t let her cut her hair. She can trim it. If it was up to her she would have green or purple hair. 1 more year and then she can choose. She has cut it short before and didn’t like it.

Its her head geez. In 6 short years you will have no say.


Yes it grows back. Kids take their frustrations out on those that they trust the most. They are moody and although it is hard, you cant take everything they say to heart.

Yes. It’s her head. Leave her alone. Let her vent to you. Let her talk. Listen to her.

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We have 3 boys and we have allowed them to always be able to choose their own hair style.

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Take her to a good stylist (that knows how to make it look good) and let her get it cut. It will grow back if she doesn’t like it.
Let her express herself. Have her find pictures of what she likes to show the stylist.
You could have the stylist cut off some length first and let her see it before cutting it the rest of the way, just to make sure she wants it as short as she says.

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There are few things in life kids can control let her decide anything belonging to her body. I have taught my girls from a young age to express themselves my 4 year old wears purple hair my 14 year old has her nose pierced my 12 year old shaved half her head :woman_shrugging: nothing permanent or damaging thats my only rule


Choose your battles! It’s hair. Not a piercing or tattoo she’s asking for…


Let her do it my stepdaughter recently had all her hair chopped of after a long time of asking and she was so happy :blush: xx

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Let her choose. I’m all for letting kids make choices within reason. It will grow back

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I would let them at any age always have . My daughter wanted mohawk at 6…

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I would give her some kind of freedom with hair…shes the one that has to deal and if she dont like it it will always grow back. Wish yall the best.

My daughter is 10 and wants one as well. We are getting married next month so I told her after the wedding she can get it done. I let her be her own person but I love her long hair so I want her to keep it for the wedding

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Your child should be free to make choices it’s her body not yours! Also another thing your child is not taking out any thing on you. She’s a child you should be there for her and help her work through things

I have let my kids chose their own hair cuts from an early age as long as it’s in line with school rules x

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My daughter is 7 and has a pixie cut. The way I see it. Her body her choice.

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Buy her a pixie wig, let her try it, wear it a little while, and after wearing it, if she still feels she wants to have her hair cut then allow it, but if she doesn’t like it, it’s not permanent.

It is only hair! I let my daughter get a Mohawk in the 4th grade! AND we dyed it purple! She is a beautiful young lady now with long curly locks! It’s ONLY HAIR! Good grief. Parents really need to get over themselves and let their kids come into their own.

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At age 10 my daughter wanted to shave the back and sides of her hair (and leave the top long and dye it blue) so we did exactly that.

She has rocked it with confidence for 2 years shaved. Hair grows back, youre only young once :woman_shrugging:t3: …is my opinion anyways


My son is 9 (almost 10) I have always let him choose his haircuts and even did colors in his hair when he asked. You want to allow your child to express themselves and become who they will become.
My son wanted to wear glasses but had 20/20. I went and got colored glasses and popped out lenses. He wanted a ear pierce I let him and guess what after a few months he took it out himself and it closed. Hair grows out…

I had a pixie cut at 14 n loved it. I was glad for the change. I was bullied bad but having some control helped me cope. And if she doesn’t like it hair grows

It will grow back. She takes it out on you because her home is her safe place and can finally let out all her emotions. Better at home than at school on another child.

She’s 12 let her do it. It’s hair and it grows back. Just make sure to take her to someone that has very good reviews so it doesn’t end in a disaster.

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I would… I let my 5 year old pick her hairstyles and cuts, as well as all my boys… I have one boy that likes his hair all shaved, faded up to just a tiny bit to spike in the front, another that does fade up to a long side part over with designs in the side, the other with long hair, my baby girl has had a Bob, a pixie and now wants “repunzle” hair… I let them choose because there’s very little in life right now that they have control over so when it comes to hair, I let them do as they wish… And yes, that includes dying it, we use the conditioner dyes from overtone and Brad Mondos collections but still…

My daughters are 12-13 & 15, I let them pick their own haircuts. I always tell them it’s only hair it’ll grow back, but you’ll have to live with it till it grows back in. My 12 yr old did this yesterday


My thoughts on kids and their hair…
Its their body, their hair, you should have zero say in what they do with either.


She’s old enough to make some of her own decisions especially when it comes to her own body. You need to be patient. She uses you guys as an outlet for her anger when something bad happens because she knows you are there for her and love her. So if she does start to act out why don’t you sit her down and talk to her about it and find a more healthy way for her to express her anger instead of taking it out on her. Encourage and support her regardless of what other people will think. If you don’t she will grow up to afraid of what everyone else will think of her and that’s no way to live life.

Let her be herself. Let her learn what she likes and doesn’t like. Not what you like and don’t like or what you’re afraid will happen. Support her. Encourage her. Show her. At that age I had blue hair, along with all my cousins and my grandma, with box braids and extinctions. It grows back. If she has a strong support system at home, nothing can stop her out in the world.

I let my daughter do whatever she wants to her hair. It’s only hair…it won’t last.
It lets them express their individuality.


It’s her hair it will grow back if she ends up not liking it

I would honestly let her choose. My daughter was 7 and i let her choose how she wanted her hair cut and she got a trim and the side of her head shaved and she was happy with it. Its just hair and it grows back… shes old enough to choose what kind of cut she wants tho- in my opinion.

I have always let my kids choose their hair cuts. It makes them feel empowered and more confident in choices later on. I say yes let them choose


She’s old enough to know what kind of hair style she likes and wants. Just let her do it.

Is there a shoulder length pixie cut. I would go for that for starters.

My daughter has always done fun things with her hair… I think she was 3 when we put kool-aid streaks in it stress going to be 16 in a couple months and never looked back♡ she’s my little chameleon

My dad wanted me to keep my hair long and so we did, until My aunt (his sister) cut it for me. I have rarely felt more liberated than that moment. Being who you want to be is a confidence builder. let her do it. my opinion

Let he choose! It’s only hair. I was freaking that my 9 year old wanted purple and blue hair but I let her do it and I absolutely love it.


Let her. I did. Everything is fine. Its just hair. Grows back fast

As a hairstylist, let her. If she’s that persistent, she wants it. And changing your hair can really change your attitude and how you feel about some things. It can be really empowering. My little brother asked me to color his hair pink because of breast cancer even AFTER getting picked on for his blue.

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Hair is hair and it will grow back.

Let her do it. She may regret it or love it but either way she will learn. I know its hard as a mother but its good for kids

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Seriously? It’s hair…she’s 12…old enough to choose her own haircut…if she doesn’t like it ittl grow back.


Definitely let her do it

She should definitely be allowed to make decisions about her appearance especially at that age. It’s not impulsive she’s been asking make her an appointment. It sounds like she needs to work on her accountability if that’s how she’s reacting to situations.

Its only hair and will grow back

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If she wants a pixie cut then let her. She may love it or hate it, if she hates it , it will grow out. 3 years ago my son decided he wanted to grow his hair out(he was 12 at that time) so guess what…I let him. Other people’s opinion does not really matter, what matters is how she feels about herself and if she is confident with herself what others have to say is not going to bother her. And you never know she might look really good with a pixie cut.

My daughter is 9 and she went from having long hair all the way to her butt to a pixie cut. I sure did cry but I have to let her find her self . After she loved it honestly. I always reminded her of she didn’t like it once cut hair will always grow .

I will never understand why parents think they should have control over their childs hair after they can care for their own hair they should be able to choose their own style. Shit I was bleaching my daughters hair at 2 years old because she wanted pink in it and guess what??? No one died and there was zero damage. If your kid wants a hair cut dont worry itll grow back and if you hate it or they hate it everything will be fine itll be a lesson learned life is all about discovering who you are and what you like. Trial and error

Let her express herself. If she says she’s got this, then she’s got this. Hair grows back. Chances of expressing your true self at such a young age don’t come back. I started doing crazy things with my hair at 12-13 and my mom wasn’t the biggest fan but she always supported it and actually grew to love some of the things I did with my hair. As I tell my child…your hair…your choice… I’d rather her be herself then feel she has to have it a certain way because others may not accept it.


Yes she has her own feelings and her own expression how is she going to know who she is if you don’t give her a safe place to explore it.

I say yes, only because I lost my 14yo son unexpectedly 7/3/20 and he would ask me to dye his hair different colors and I said no. Now I wish I would of let him express himself more

Let her express herself. The ONE thing I remember as a kid was how I was never allowed to express myself. Always had to keep up appearances. Screw that! whether she loves it or hates it there will be a lesson learned (for both of you) it’s just hair, it will grow out.

I would let her get the pixie cut. I figure, her body, her choice. If she doesn’t like it, it will always grow back.

Yes let your kids choose!! If we are teaching children that their body is theirs and they have the right to say no touching or what have you…then forcing your hair and clothing options totally negates that teaching


My 6 yo (right) chose her haircut. I was sad at first, but she’s so dang cute! 5 yo (left) also chose, but hers was more of a trim


My mama took me everytime to get my hair the way I wanted it cut. There’s a few times I heard “Jordyn you don’t have the same face it might not look the same on you” and I learned my lesson on what was good for my face and what wasn’t. Some times I ended up hating it and sometimes I didn’t but I always got to chose!
Edit to add: I now dye and cut my 8 yr Olds hair any way she chooses. She’s had red hair and blue so far. But we only do the ends so it can be cut off and not maintained