Should I let my daughters fiance take our last name?

Its not your decision, its theirs. Its not just you with that surname , also your daughter has it and she can do what she likes just like you did!

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Itā€™s not really your decision, but give your blessing for him to change his name to yours. Heā€™s clear why he wants to take the name - his own family is not in his life anymore and he is joining yours. He sees you as his only remaining family.

They are getting married to each other, itā€™s not your place to think about him getting divorced and giving your name away. If they do get divorced someday you can address it with him then. If your daughter has children with him will they not be part of your family? If he later has other children will they not be siblings? Heā€™s becoming a part of your familyā€™s line.

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Stop living your life worried that something bad will happen in their relationship. If heā€™s a good guy that gets along well with everyone then let him change his name in honor of his tie to your family. Also what if your daughter has kids with him then your cherished last name will be passed down.

And you sound ridiculously stuck up.

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If it comes to the point down the road they do divorce at that point he could request to change his last name at final orders. I think itā€™s kinda sad that you mentioned divorce and children with another woman when they arenā€™t even married yet. Let them have this moment donā€™t ruin for them throwing divorce in the mix over a name change.

Itā€™s up to them not you at all honestly. Your daughter only asked how you feel about it not if you give permission or anything. So you can feel however you want.

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I understand all of that. Why doesnā€™t he change his last name to his mothers maiden name before getting married, then she can take that last name when they marry?

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If they get a divorce she can just request he change his last name back before signing off on the divorceā€¦

This is the most stupidest question. Iā€™m sorry but if my daughter got married and her new husband wanted to take her last name. I wouldnā€™t have questions. It would be between them.
Itā€™s not just your name itā€™s your daughterā€™s name as well.

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This is just weird. Who cares what his last name isā€¦

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For a man to want to take his wifeā€™s last name is not common. The fact that he has put thought into the entire thing and wants a name that means something to him and his wife shows how much this marriage means to him. You canā€™t predict the future. Just like a woman can go back to her maiden name if she chooses to after a divorce, a man could do the sameā€¦but that is not something you should be thinking about before they are even. They are grown adults about to commit their lives to each other. Let them do it the way that they want to. Stop being so selfish and negative and support them.

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Ffs :woman_facepalming::rofl::rofl: what a joy you sound love!!

WTF itā€™s not up to youā€¦

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If you donā€™t want your last name to go instinct, then is itā€™s quite straight forwardā€¦

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With it being so rare, their children will carry it on. Please donā€™t assume divorce. And if they do divorce she can ask him to change his name back and it will be simple at the divorce proceedings

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Itā€™s up to your daughter and her fiance. Was nice of them to ask. But itā€™s her last name and if he wants to take it on. Then so be it.

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Youā€™ve already said youā€™d be supportive of whatever they chose. So, why donā€™t you just stick with that sentiment?

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Who cares. He can always change his last name to his motherā€™s last name if they get divorced. Your making a big deal out of nothing.

Anyone else super curious about this special name thatā€™s so rare they are the only ones in a country of 331 MILLION people to have?

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This is so stupid. :roll_eyes: Worried about a last name? Seriously?

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I donā€™t really see how thatā€™s your choice at all. Itā€™s not in your control.

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Am I the only one dying to know this ā€œlast ofā€ last name? :grimacing::rofl:

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Correct me if Iā€™m wrong but your last name isnā€™t really ā€œyoursā€ā€¦ right? You married your husband and changed your last name. Can you imagine if someone told you that you couldnā€™t have your husbandā€™s last name? Sounds like your daughters fiance has put some thought into this but ultimately it isnā€™t your decision at all!

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Should you let him?
If you actually think you have a say and your daughter listens to you I hope he runs!

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It is not up to you what he does with his last nameā€¦

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Itā€™s not ur choice, he respected u enough to come to u and ask u for ur permission, he or ur daughter didnā€™t have to do that at all, they both respected u enough to ask ur permission for him to use yā€™allā€™s last name :woman_shrugging:t3: so let him use it :speaking_head:

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A lot of harsh remarks hereā€¦Maybe itā€™s not ā€˜her callā€™ but her daughter asked her her opinion on this and she is just voicing her thoughts.Nobody wants their daughter to end up divorced but sadly thatā€™s not an uncommun reality in this societyā€¦

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Itā€™s technically only your last name through marriage sošŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

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If he really wants to take his motherā€™s last name, they can both take her last name on their wedding day. Otherwise, I think it would be sweet of him to take your daughterā€™s last name

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This sounds like a nightmare of a MIL. Itā€™s just a last name :rofl:

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Let them decide, provide support, be a good mother in law.

Should you let him :joy: you donā€™t really have a say if thatā€™s what they want to do thatā€™s what they want you shouldnā€™t stand in the way

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I meanā€¦if she takes his lastname their kids wonā€™t have the lastname either. :woman_facepalming:

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I kinda want to know what this last name isā€¦ :eyes::eyes::eyes::eyes:

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ā€œLetā€ interesting choice of words.

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I would feel it is an honorā€¦ But in our familyā€¦ Once you are family you are always familyā€¦

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If you said youā€™d be supportive, maybe you should stay with that. By telling them no youā€™d be going against that which would make you a hypocrite.
I think it was nice of them to ask but really not up to you at all, you should be honored not already deciding they may get divorced. :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:

It was his name all his life, he should keep it that way

Why do you have a say in it?

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Wtf seriously?? If you say no to this just know that he is 100% going to think he is not welcome in the family or accepted and you know what I would too and it will put a strain on their relationship too. I mean come on besides it isnā€™t up to you and you canā€™t stop it eitherā€¦ atleast then your last name will live on throught their children isnā€™t that great though?? I donā€™t get it so silly

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Flipping heck Iā€™m glad itā€™s not my future MIL :joy::joy: itā€™s just a name :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Iā€™m dying to know this last nameā€¦

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He can start his own legacy
Keep his last name
Not all about the ties
Itā€™s about his life with u and kids

Itā€™s not even up to youā€¦

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Do what normal people do. Grin and bear it. Itā€™s not your decision.

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This really has nothing to do with you.

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You sound like an awful MIL already worried about their divorce :woman_facepalming: this post sounds more selfish than anything else

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Honestly, He could go change his last name to your name without marrying her. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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If I want to change my name to Princess Consuela Bananahammock, I do not need the permission of other Bananahammocks. :woman_shrugging:t3::woman_facepalming:

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The best ones in the USA with this last name?! Lady you sound crazy

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Uhmmā€¦ Iā€™d stay out of it love.
Geesh if your daughter reads this, ever :sweat_smile:
If itā€™s such an issue maybe see if heā€™s hyphenate the name.

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So what the Nameā€¦ Inquiring minds want to knowā€¦???

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Sounds like he wants to honor your family by taking the name.

Soooooo he loves your daughter SO much. That he wants to give up the name heā€™s had his whole life to take your daughters name to build a new life with a strong family nameā€¦

And youā€™re worried about divorce? Obviously they arenā€™t worried about divorce, so you shouldnā€™t either.

Also. He lost his mother, so Iā€™m sure he has had the thought that marrying your daughter would mean that heā€™s also gaining a motherā€¦

And be a better mother and love that boy.

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Technically anybody can go & get their name changed to anything they want - I donā€™t think youā€™d really be the only ones with the same last name in the US (thereā€™s a whole wide world out there too remember) & I think youā€™re being very weird about it. He isnā€™t your daughterā€™s boyfriend, Theyā€™re engaged & getting married why are you thinking about ā€˜If they break up & he has babies elsewhere theyā€™ll have my nameā€™ did your own mother in law say that about you when you got married & took your husbandā€™s last name :joy::woman_facepalming:t2:

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:thinking: but then their children would keep your " uncommon " last name and would grow the lineageā€¦:woman_facepalming::woman_shrugging: but more to the point ā€¦ its their choice and if he wanted to change his name to prince poppycockā€¦ then he 2 could have an uncommon last name.:wink:

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I want to know this super special last name.

You do realize that basically anyone can change their last name if they choose? No explanation needed. I can change my last name to Drjvsshknvfefvknvffbvvg if I wanted to. Iā€™ll change my last name to yours right effing now.

You are an ass.

Really want to know this precious last name now :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy: something tells me youā€™re a Smith or Wilson or some other slave owner surname thatā€™s common but you just donā€™t want him to have your surname, Karen :joy::joy:

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Way to make someone feel unwanted

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It wasnā€™t your last name when you married into it and took it. Did you need your FIL permission to take HIS last name?

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It isnā€™t your choice, you have absolutely no say in the matter! Did youā€™re husbandā€™s family get a say in you taking on the name? Also nice way to doom your daughters marriage before it starts. I personally wouldnā€™t want to share a name with you, if this is how you think, and I would be ashamed to be your daughter!!

This isnt really your choice. Its now your daughters last name. Its their choice not a family choice

I feel like her asking you was kind of a politeness thing and your opinion on a grown mans choices arenā€™t up to anyone else :joy: who even cares lol itā€™s just a name

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Your grandchildren will have your name how awesome is that, I mean why would you not want that, Iā€™d be like fck yeah take my name so my grandchildrens children and so on carry it, like you said your daughter is the last generation with the name let it live on Otherwise it stops at your daughters generationā€¦

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this is honestly up to your daughter and her fiancĆ© ā€¦. your involvement isnā€™t required, so Iā€™m not sure what you mean by ā€œlet himā€.

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You should feel honored. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Itā€™s not up to you. Seriously.

Its just a name. The only other person to carry on the name would be a son. If you donā€™t have one, then you should feel honored that he wants your last name.

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I have had two rare surnames in my life both my maiden and married surname and I am struggling to see why you are having an issue with this.
And itā€™s not YOUR last name is it your family name so welcome this guy into your family or butt out. Donā€™t be that ā€œmother in lawā€ people put on a list of petty MILā€™s

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If they divorce he goes back to his "maiden " nameā€¦

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Its just a nameā€¦and I wouldnā€™t even consider asking my mother for her advice. (No offense mom :laughing:) But, it isnā€™t up to you.

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Its your daughters choiceā€¦ Soooo

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You tripping over a name.

Should be honoredā€¦at least they asked your feelings on it and didnt just surprise youā€¦but i think its up to themā€¦i know a few couples where they took the females last nameā€¦more things to worry about then a nameā€¦

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They could both just use his motherā€™s last name. No need to change before the wedding.

So you would rather your daughters ā€˜rare surnameā€™ become extinct? :thinking:

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I think that is such an honor. So often women change over to their husbands last name, maybe itā€™s time for a change lol. Donā€™t over think it.

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I would be so honored to share my last name!!! Dont go into a marriage thinking about divorce anyway. Thats now how you do it. My sister didnā€™t want her fatherā€™s last name ( we are half sisters) i let her legally use my maiden last name which is my fatherā€™s. He was qn awesome father and loved so deep and I would be proud that anybody would want his last name. If you donā€™t let him use yours he can use my fatherā€™s . HUGHES :heart: there you go buddy .

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Fortunately they donā€™t need your permission. It seems they were doing you a common decency and letting you know. Accept this young man as part of your family and move on.

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my daughters kids had her name so when she married her hubby changed his name to hers why not

Poor fella, if he has no close family, you guys are his family now bless him!

Iā€™d be honored too so why be the mil that everyone hates cause your last name is the last around have him carry the legacy plus it isnā€™t up to you. Your not marring him your daughter is and if you truly like him then accept it and be happy about.

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Honestly it doesnā€™t matter how you feel. They can take your feelings into consideration as a courtesy. Hes an adult. He can change his name to anything he wants. Unless you have a legit legal reason the judge will grant the name change. Besides the name belongs to your daughter too. She has the right to give it to her husband.

I personally would be honored. My bigger concern here is you are already thinking that their relationship wonā€™t last.

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He xan do what he wantsā€¦

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At the end of the day, a name is just a bunch of random letters. Let him and if they ever break up then he can change it again.

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You arenā€™t very supportive then and to claim you all ā€œreally like him.ā€ Is a lie. Because if you did ā€œreally like himā€ you wouldnā€™t be talking about divorce already and being this negative. Itā€™s not up to you so donā€™t put an opinion in when itā€™s not even about you.

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God I could only wish my current boyfriend would take my name if we got married. Lol I see nothing wrong here. Itā€™s a sign he feels close to you.

This whole post is stupid.

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It really isnā€™t a big deal. Both of my children have my maiden name. Iā€™m remarried now and I took my husbands last name and my step daughter has his last name as well. Consider it an honor that heā€™d rather carry on your family name, give them your blessing either way, and move on about your day. If your last name is that rare then itā€™s a good thing that they will all have it.

Wow, poor kid! It must have taken a lot for him at man up and ask for this. Yes, he could upon marriage have the last name changed to his motherā€™s last name but as heā€™s becoming a part of ā€œYourā€ family heā€™s asking you to also share your name. If you have an issue then let it be known but dang all he wants is family here. Iā€™m sure when you were getting married you felt the same way.
How about putting yourself in his shoes for a moment. If someone asked this of me; Iā€™d accept it in a heartbeat.

No way would I let him take your last name !!

Its not your decision lol

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God forbid someone get the last name as you!! Selfish! You should welcome him name and all!

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If my husband ever took my maiden name, my mom wouldā€™ve been in tears of joy.

What a blessing it is he loves your daughter, to take the name.

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Not much you can do about it šŸ¤·

We were totally honored when my son in law took our name , he too has no relationship with his father .

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Honestly at the end of the day its not ur choice. He can do as he pleases!

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If they have a marriage license theyā€™ve already decided what married last name theyā€™ll have.

Iā€™m so confused. Fancy assuming they could get divorced before they even get married. I would love to know what the fantastic last name is :joy::joy:

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