Should I let my daughters fiance take our last name?

Well I mean if he took your last name then you will have the name continue… Unless you want this name to end ??

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First of all: wow way to be supportive. Already planning for when they are divorced instead of celebrating their marriage! In reality they can change their last name to anything.

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Wow the only ones in the whole USA with that last name, and you don’t want it to be carried on? I would be honored.

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This should be an honour, It’s truly their decision, Not yours. Her husband, her last name. Be supportive!
The fact you even suggest “if they were to get divorced” they aren’t even married yet…
Show your daughter some support and trust.

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Their children, your Grandchildren will have your last name.

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What about double barrelled? My partner and I are not married, together 16 years and we have 2 children. We have our own birth surnames nut we double barrelled our children’s surnames so they have both. Since I only have a sister, we’re the last in line for our family tree, she married and changed her surname, my father was touched we’ve carried on my family name…as well as their daddy’s.

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Why didn’t I think of that before marrying my husband :rofl:

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It would be an honor i would be so happy knowing there kids can carry on our family name

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If they divorce he could take back his maiden name just like a woman can. But if the name is very rare u should honor him for having your name. It’s their choice .

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How flattering! Let them choose and you should support it.

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Why would you talk divorce before they are even married and then say yall really like the guy when I got married it was never with the thought of divorce and if that was ever a thought I would have never married my husband

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I’d say that’s their choice… if they want to use her last name that’s up to them just support them…

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Ur not very supportive. What if ur daughter had children they would have his last name instead of yours. Sounds like a selfish reason either way. Just let them be happy

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Your worried bout them getting divorced and they aren’t even married yet?

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Whats the last name lol? My fiance was adopted. His bio parents are shit… and so is his adoptive parents. He wants neither one of their name… I don’t want my last name either as I have my dad’s last name who has been in prison since 6 and will be for 92 years. We want my moms last name. OUR ONLY family

I had a friend in highschool that, when she and her husband married, they created a new last name from parts of their former last names. They had supportive families also.

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Maybe that’s precisely the point. He cares enough to carry on the soon to be extinct surname? He has realised he has no ties to his surname, and was thinking of his new family’s future generations to be carried on?

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You seem hung up on a possibility that COULD happen. One single outcome. What other possibilities could happen if he does take the name? Quit focusing on the negative outcomes and look for the positive ones.

If it were your son getting married would you feel differently?

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If you are the last ones with your last name wouldn’t you want someone to carry it on to their children? I would allow him to change his name if he wanted too.

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You don’t sound very supportive or rational

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That’s not up to you, but it’s nice of him.

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How do you kno your last name is the only one in the USA?? Google tell you? DNA test? :woman_facepalming:

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If they get divorced it can be put in the divorce papers that he has to change it back to his original last name. I had to change mine back after I got divorced. My ex put it in the paper work

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I would be honered if eaiter of my daughters partners wanted to take our last name. Thats some serious lobe and respect to your family.
I’d honestly be disapointed if my parents were anything but overjoyed by the idea that my partner wanted to become part of our family.
And in the end its not even your choice. It’s her name and she can share it with her partner just like most married men do with their wives.

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I’d be honoured shows he really wants to be a part of your family he cares and loves you all what’s the problem

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You don’t own a name. They don’t need your permission. Yikes :grimacing:

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Gonna have to know that last name first Hoss :woman_shrugging:t3::laughing:

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If they get divorced he would go back to his original name would he not :woman_shrugging:t3: just like a woman would x

Wow. What a silly reason to get worried. Cause some children that may never even exist might get your last name. How selfish can you be? “Oh well we’re the last ones in this country…” It’s a name.

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Wow they haven’t even gotten married and your worries about divorce? Maybe stay out of it as I don’t think your going to be a positive person in this relationship already causing drama I feel
Bad for your daughter

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Should you “let” him?! My husband took my last name and it wasn’t even up for debate with my family. And it shouldn’t be. I’m sorry but this is nothing that you can “let” him do and honestly have no say in. Anyone can legally change their name and could change their name to yours should they wish to. (Even a complete stranger with no relation or connection to you) This is between your daughter and her fiancé only.

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Thats an honor to your family and most men would never do that 1, 2 if they get divorce he will jave the right to use his maiden name and i mean legally…even w or w out u and your daughter ANYONE CAN CHANGE THEIR NAME TO ANYTHING

I highly doubt you’re the only family with the last name in the entire USA.
But let him. Don’t be thinking of their divorce before they even get married, it’s bad vibes and wrong.
Let them do it.

I’d be cool with it.

  1. It can be made part of their divorce, which hopefully they won’t ever get, that he change his name back (which he should do).

  2. Not your decision, anyway :woman_shrugging:t2:

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They aren’t even married yet and you’re already talking about divorce :roll_eyes: real support i see

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Why not it doesn’t always have to be the daughter taking the males last name.its what they make of it and no one else’s decision but the two of them

I would be honored. Be very happy and excited regardless of what the kids decide. Congratulations, on your daughter’s engagement!!! Very exciting!!!

Lol at the fact that you are already thinking about divorce.

In most cases it’s free to change your last name when you get divorced (hopefully that will not be the case!!) But in any case as adults that’s their decision, not yours. Be proud he feels so connected to your family to want your last name!!

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It’s awful that you’re sticking your nose where it shouldn’t be. Doesn’t really matter if you like him and “let” him take your husbands name. Your daughter is an adult, she “lets” you be part of her life…don’t ruin it over something petty. Butt out. They aren’t marrying you. (In many states the couple can pick any last name they want, doesn’t have to be from family)

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Can they both change their name to his mothers when they get married?

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I feel like it’s not really your choice and if your daughter is happy you should just support them…

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Last ones in the USA with your last name??? Hmmmm…curious what it is.

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I think its up to him and her. Uncommon or not, its a shame that would bother you. That would make me feel good. :person_shrugging:

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I married into a very rare last name and I would feel honored if someday one of my daughters had this question. He thinks of you as family and even though he isn’t blood he is asking in a way to be your child!

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I mean… if you had a son, would you have the same concerns about him getting married, his wife taking your last name and then divorcing and having children with someone else and using the name? Probably not. I would just be supportive and look at it as a good thing that he wants to take y’all’s name.

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I feel bad for your daughter. Already planning out divorce and him having children with someone new. You should be honored. Doesnt sound like you want him to be part of your family.

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Or he could be a dick and change his last name to yours before he married her…

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Doubtful you are the last with the name lol

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Don’t. My ex hated his family. I refused to take his last name as I like mine. An he took my last name. We divorced and he kept my last name and has been remarried twice and each woman has taken his last name which is my last name an each woman kept his last name after the divorces…so these women have my last name now and when I do paperwork (insurance, my son SSI, ebt or credit checks) their names pop with my stuff.

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I really highly doubt you are the last family with your last name in the USA

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Last family with the name in the US? Prove it…

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It’s best to keep his last name. I would not want my grandchild to end up falling in love. with someone that does not know that the last name(real last names of his by blood-mom&dad) end up having a child born sick cause same genes and blood.Do it right.

It’s a name and really not your say :joy::joy:

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Seems a little selfish in my opinion

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You’re definitely not being “supportive” based on what you wrote. You sound more selfish than anything else.

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Sounds like he really wants to be apart of your family… a last name should be the least of your worries.

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How petty. I hope he doesn’t marry into your family. :nauseated_face:

I’m normally all for tradition in a lot of ways these days buuuut…I call bullshit. It’s not your choice, it’s your daughter’s, and you should feel proud she feels the love enough in your family to keep her last name.

Really? All over a name. Be honoured that he even thinks that much of your daughter and your family to even consider this!
You say you’re being supportive, if you were my parent I wouldn’t feel supported based on what you’ve just wrote.

Anyway, it’s NOT your decision.

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Omg people it his and her decision. A mother in law meddling before marriage is so unhealthy already.

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Even if he doesn’t marry your daughter he could probably still change his name to your last name.
I also find it highly doubtful your family is the only ones in the entire country with that last name.

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its a name not like sharing a heart or something :joy::joy:

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Allow it? He doesn’t need your permission.

oh great, the in-laws are at it again

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He could literally NOT marry her and legally change his surname. I think you should let it go before it becomes the wedge between you and your daughter.

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Would you say the same thing if it was your son getting married

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Just gonna leave this here for all the people saying she’s meddling. She was literally asked by her daughter what her thoughts and feelings are. Jesus people are so friggin mean these days

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I want to know what the last name is now… to
Much drama… he can do as he wants…

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Is this post for real? Lol

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Will they allow him to change his me I read somewhere that a man couldn’t take the wife’s name ? , I don’t understand why not or why it would be a problem

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I’m not at all understanding your issue here. Why are you thinking they would get divorced or have children with someone else? Why not just be supportive as it’s not your decision. They kid has no family, and he would rather take your family last name then give your daughter a last name that means nothing to him.

I really don’t at all understand some parents

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It’s not up to you if he takes her last name. You don’t really have a say so. That’s her choice. Also why would you already be thinking about their marriage ending!??? Sounds very selfish. You should be welcoming him into your family not planning the end of their relationship before it starts.

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Not your decision. At all. Let them do whatever the hell they want to do. And support their decision.

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I hate to say it, but this seems sexist. I mean, if it were a son, it would never even come up.

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Not really your choice. It is his and your daughters.

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you’re being ridiculous.

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Maybe they should just pick a new name for both of them and start fresh. Not that hard to change your family name. Especially since you seem to think their marriage isn’t going to last anyway.

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I would do whatever your daughter wants to do, it is her last name as well.

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This is not something I would ever take the time to worry about. There are way bigger things, and honestly I think it’s kind of a honor that he wants to be tied to your family more than his own.

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Of he has boys with another women if they ever get divorced at lest the name will get carried on. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Well first off it’s not your choice🤷🏻‍♀️ there’s no “letting him” he either decides to or not. Secondly I think it’s kind of weird and somewhat disrespectful to their relationship that your thinking about them getting a divorce. Besides those two points I think it’s nice that he would want to take your last name. Your family obviously means a lot to him for him to want to do that.

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Just so you know almost all places allow the couple to pick a married last name and it does not have to be the man or woman’s legal name bc some cultures do not pass the last name down but the couple picks the name they will go by. Just something to look into

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I honestly dont see how its anyone’s business but theirs.

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It’s a name lady
Get the fuck over yourself
Because technically if you’re married it’s not your name to begin with
These posts just get more stupid everyday :roll_eyes:

Why not let him take your last name since it’s uncommon and when they have children and their children have children then your uncommon last name won’t be uncommon anymore. And if they really were to ever get divorced she could fight it in court for him to no longer have her last name.

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If you had a son getting married his wife would have your last name so what’s the difference?

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Jesus H. Christ.

If you have nothing better to do with your time than reminisce about your daughter’s divorce, you need a hobby.

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If they got divorced he can take his maiden name back just like woman do.

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‘should you let him’???who are you to make that call?youre not the queen of england are you???thats up to your daughter not you.

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There is no bigger honor. I’m sad you feel that way.

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You should feel honored, i personally think that is super special and sweet. Idk.

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They could both change their name when getting married. So if he wanted to take his mother’s then, he totally could. But really it’s up to the two of them to decide together. I get your reasoning but that excuse could work both ways. Marriage involves so much more than a name and title!

**And not to mention if they have children and he takes on the family name, that would be continuing on your family’s name(that you mention to be so rare and the last of) for many more generations to come!

Dont females sometimes change back to their maiden names after divorce ? Cant he do the same?

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I mean. Its up to them how they change names or if & what. Your opinion is just that. And a “honey whatever makes you happy” would probably be my answer.

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I knew a guy who took her last name
No it didnt last
He changed his name back to what it originally was and her and the kids stayed what they always were
If he was to give her his name they have kids then get divorced the kids have his name which is attatched to what…
If he does go onto have kids with another woman etc why would he want to give them your lastname he can change his again to hers etc
Id kinda be the other way round in my thinking

“Should you let him take your last name”? Wow I can’t believe you think it’s up to you what last name your husband chooses to have. It’s none of your business and obviously your daughter is the one marrying him not you so stay in your lane and mind your business. I highly highly doubt your the last one in the United States with your last name. Give me a break and stop thinking you make the rules about marriage.

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In Kansas, you can change your last name to whatever you want when you get married! Check the laws where you live, it may work the same way!

Does it really matter???