Should I let my son go on vacation with his absent father?

Hard no on vacation. They’re strangers

Nope! I’d never send my child with virtually a stranger. I’d tell the dad not right now, your son needs to get to know you and bond into a father-son relationship with you before he can go anywhere with you. If he really wants to build a relationship with his son he will understand. Besides 6 is a bit young to let him go off with people he and you obviously don’t know. The Dad needs to put in the work to establish himself as a father before he can claim to be one and enjoy his privilege. :smirk:

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Nope nope nope. Absolutely not.

Don’t do it. He needs to be around more first before you let him take your son.
Think about how your child might feel around a bunch of strangers. Just no, you couldn’t promise his safety.

I don’t believe in a trying parent. You’re a parent or you’re not. He needs to grow up.

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I would try to approach bio dad in a non aggressive way and tell him that your not comfortable with this vacation because the baby really hasn’t spent enough time recently with him or any of his other guests and it could confuse him and scare him. He is only 6 and maybe next year or end of the summer once he’s around more regularly. If he flips out tell him you’ll be approaching the court with your wishes for visitation. End of conversation!

No. Once he has got the relationship back on track yes

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Best if the father spends quality time with him for a while. And when you and your son feel good about it try then plenty of time for a vacation his only young

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I have been thru something pretty similar…imo…no be should not be able to take ur child…if he wants to be a father now then he needs to prove himself to u and ur child…he needs to start visiting more often and be consistent for at least 6months or so…he needs to prove t bgg st he is not going to just disappear and break ur kids heart over n over!! I let it happen to my son one time at age 6. and after that I put my foot down…you either be in his life or u dont. Period. There is no in between…children dont understand they only know that their little heart hurts…and it can cause trauma for years to come…my son is just now at almost 15 getting to k ow n spend ti.e w his dad. Which I’m grateful for…but at least I know hos dad is all inthis time!! Your job as a mother is to protect your children… even if it means protecting them and their hearts from their father …money diesnt make a parent…consistent time, affection and love do…good luck with whatever you choose!! PM me anytime if u need to talk

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No way he doesn’t know him I would think the father was up to something

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Absolutely do not let that baby go with him. He needs to build a relationship with the child before he takes him anywhere over night. Just think of it this way, would you enjoy being stuck on a trip with some random people you didn’t know or trust?

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He can have regular visits and if he holds to that then next year maybe he can go on vacation with him. But not a 6 year old who don’t know him

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Go with you instincts momma. If you aren’t comfortable with it don’t let anyone tell you different. That’s your baby to protect even if it had to be against the dad that never comes around

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Parenting isn’t something you do when it’s convenient or when you want too

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While I applaud the father for stepping up, and hopefully he means it and does it. A child isn’t going to be comfortable with someone he barely knows.

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Nope not unless you can go with, and that’s something you’re totally comfortable with.
If you’re hesitant about it then no.

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I wouldn’t send him on vacation. Think of it this way - would you want to go on vacation with people you didn’t know who had complete control over you and that you were completely dependent upon in a place you don’t know? You wouldn’t want to do it as an adult, and sure as heck wouldn’t want to as a kid. I wouldn’t even want to let him go alone on visitations yet.

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Nope! No way! It’s like sending him with strangers

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NO don’t let your baby go with a stranger.

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I believe he needs to be part of the child’s life in an environment the child is comfortable with before allowing him to just and take him somewhere. It’s going to take time especially for your child. The child needs time to build a relationship and trust. So at this point in time that would be a no for me. Just bc he knows who the father is doesn’t me he knows him as a person nor does it mean he would be comfortable.

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If dad wants to visit with his child a couple of times (at your home) before the vacation and then let the child decide if he wants to go. Never dismiss a childs opinion. My guess would be that dad will say he’s coming to get him but he will not show up!

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Omg he’s only 6? No. He has to work up to things like that. Start slowly and build his relationship and the time share.

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No way! He’s still a baby. :heart: Maybe arrange meetups for a little bit every other weekend to start.

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I would say no. He needs to show stability in his life, create a relationship with him. As of right now it’d be like sending him on vacation with basically a stranger the shares dna with him. At 6 I hated not being able to see my mom while in a store, I would have flipped my lid if she had sent me in vacation with just my dad, and they were still married then.

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That would be a hard no from me but if he wants to see him more often we can do that first and then they can plan another trip

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No trip
Need to have regular consistent visits to get reacquainted first

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Good for him for finally stepping up. Have him prove himself by FIRST seeing your son regularly for a while, THEN you can discuss the possibility of a vacation one day.

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Hell no. Covid is a good excuse.

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No He have to prove he wants to be part of his life with supervised visit with him and a trusted relative of his.

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Are you stupid. He is up to something and it does sound very good. NO do not let him go.he could kidnap your son or do something even more despicable. You need to get some brains and realize something is wrong with his request.

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Is vacation nearby Incase your son wants to come home? Could you go get him if need be? Would there be a solid way of communicating? I wouldn’t say no, I’d let you son decide but definitely have a way for him to communicate with you either way

ABSOLUTELY DENY the trip. He can prove himself by showing up to his visitations regularly. THEN he can start taking him on trips. It’s weird that he wants to take him on a trip right off the bat without being in his life. I wouldnt trust that

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“Father” needs to earn his place, I wouldn’t allow it

It is all well and good dat the father wants to be more involved in his life…but i dont think that ur 6yr old is ready to go on a vacation with his father…just yet.

Mayb they shuld start gettin to know each other better fron now onwatds, build a bond and trust and then take it from there

Would you generally give your child to a stranger so they could take them on holiday?:roll_eyes::woman_facepalming: The father would have to prove himself for at least 12 months before he could take him anywhere.

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I would say no this time and just say he has to build up a relationship and bond with him with consistent contact before you are comfortable letting him take him anywhere to far

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He is up to something. He is
Basically a stranger to your son. No way would i allow it. You may never see your son again. You don’t know this man anymore either.
Say NO and mean it

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Didn’t need to read the whole thing. Until regular visits happen and your son is comfortable enough around his dad again and they build a strong bond, I would be saying no to over night stays let alone taking him on holiday. 18 months is seriously a long time to not see family especially a child

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NO to this trip. If his motive is sincere to be the parent he should be willing to put in the time and effort to ease into your son’s life. His being the sperm donor means very little at this point. His actions and neglect speak though volumes!! Even when serving/working overseas there are avenues open to stay in contact with your child!! He evidently chose not to. He can’t expect you to automatically comply with this request. Dad needs to establish a relationship with his son. I probably would have his visits supervised until our son and I felt comfortable with him. Dad would need to convince me he is sincere in his attempt to repair/establish a relationship. It is better to start with a clear understanding between you two as parens. For all concerned you need to discuss and set clear and concise guidelines and rules. As his custodial parent YOU are in control. You have legitimate concerns letting him become involved in his life. Persobally I would question everything especially his motive for this attempt at a relationship now. Will he be responsible and reliable? Is this a sincere attempt to establish a loving healthy relationship with your son? That child deserves a father that loves him and that will be there 100%!! Not every DNA contributer deserves the privilege of being a parent!!

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I would say no this year but if you develope a relationship then yes to next year

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No way. He’s basically just a sperm donor. Seeing him once a year does not make him a true parent

No, especially if the vacation is over state lines. Custody agreements cant be enforced over state lines in most cases. He has been absent from this child so much it would absolutely be like sending him with strangers.

No to going away, but could start him stepping up on a regular basis to first build a relationship.

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Make him show the consistency BEFORE the vacation. Don’t throw it out completely yet. Then maybe ask your son if he even wants to go. Give HIM the choice. I know at 6 he doesn’t get the final say but he should have a choice too. If it’s a hard NO, then you have your answer. If he says he does want to, don’t throw it out completely but make your ex show his consistency first and reconsider.

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No don’t let him take him. The way people are today u never no what will happen to your son.

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Nope. He doesnt need that kind of stress in his life.

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It’s great to encourage a relationship but neither you nor your son know this guy anymore. Your son needs to get to know him and for you to trust him first. Just my opinion but your sons well-being comes first. Hopefully you can have a reasonable discussion with your sons father understanding and agreeing to do things the right way and be patient.

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You’ve literally answered your own question :rofl:. Don’t let him go with virtual strangers. Father can gain trust by visiting regularly and sticking to his word. Period.

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Until he can prove he is going to be 100% active in his life he doesn’t get “vacations”. And being he hasn’t been around for over a year the first few would be supervised - thats my opinion.

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No, at this age you would only frighten the child. He needs to come make regular visit before going off on vacation.
Besides do you know what’s going on with him, in other words will your child be in a healthy environment.

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I would say, start visiting regularly and then vacation. Right now is too soon and could scare him. Be nice. And tell x that you just want your son to be comfortable with his other family first.
If x is re married, bite your tongue and make wife your friend…you will get your way much more if she likes you and understands your fears.
Told my daughter in law this years ago and it really worked for her, especially where support came in.

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Nope :-1:t3: visit more first . That has potential to be not a good situation for your son and then he would have no one to turn to. He wants vacation time he needs to visit regularly first.

He needs to build a relationship with him first. Or you are sending your son on holiday with a stranger. Would you do that normally? It doesn’t matter that he’s his dad. Let your son get to know his dad and if all goes well and dad doesn’t decide to dissappear again, then he could take him away another time. And if dad has anything to say about it, remind him who raises his son, every single day! Xx

Yup! Let his father hang himself but, never, ever be the reason why your son doesn’t have a relationship with his dad!

Ask your son if he wants to go, give him the option - it’s your sons right to have an option and it isn’t yours to take that away.

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Tell him he can take him on vacation anytime no problem but before he does to be a proper dad first gain trust and see him more and then mayb he can take him. Child is for life not just for fun days or holidays

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As long as you didn’t raise your son to be a lil bitch he should be fine.

Hell no don’t sound like a good idea!!!

Not until he establishes a relationship… for a while. He’s a stranger right now.

Trust ur instincts. Let him work up to that by spending more time with him first.

I would have to say no untill he’s had a chance to get to know his dad. He’d have to visit regularly and really get to know him before he goes anywhere with him

Oh no, he needs to get to know the father and maybe you should too, there’s been too many stories about kids going on trips without the other parent and the child not even coming back alive. No.

Nope fuck him…tell him to get to know his son and be a dad so your son can be comfortable around him if not the answer is HELL FUKN NO!!!

Im all about fathers rights.

That being said no dont let him go on vacation. He needs to build a bond with his son. Encourage regular visitations and aftwr a year or so of him showing up then you should consider letting him go on vacation.

But right now hes little more than a stranger thatss unfair to your son. If you ex wants to be mad at that then he needs to get mad at himself for not showing up. You cant drop in and out of parenting.

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Not no but HELL NO. Establish a regular supervised visitation first & see how he does. Of he ticks to it, after 4-6 months, then do unsupervised for so many days, then maybe weekends & maybe afyer a year of being consistent, then I’d let him go on vacation. Yeah, it’s his dad, but he’s still basically a stranger to him :woman_shrugging:

Absolutely NO WAY IN HELL…

That would be so traumatic for your son :frowning:

I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. I’d feel like I’m sending my kid off with a stranger expecting them to be comfortable just because they have the title of the father but someone they really don’t know. I’d have him start with visiting regular before he talked about a vacation.

No way.You’ll regret your choice if you choose otherwise.

I would not let him go on vacation with his sperm donor.

No! That sounds sketchy as hell. I wouldn’t unless he was in his life regularly

I wouldn’t send him. Make him prove himself first. If he stays consistent then I’d consider it. Sounds to me like the “dad” may have found a gf and is trying to impress her by looking like a good father. My ex tried doing the same thing when his relationship was new now he’s back to being a deadbeat. Hasn’t seen the kids in over 3 years.

Make him prove his intentions.
Tell him to take u to court if hes not happy with ur answer…

If he pays his child support he is still the kids dad weather he is seeing him everyday or once a year in lot’s of cases there is a reason why his not there I hate people that sit there saying a father doesn’t have the right to spend alone time with there kids