so I just found out from the courts, and my son’s dad’s rights have been completely suspended. For a good reason. But he and his mother are asking if he can see my son over at her house, which I technically don’t have a problem with. I am just keeping him from going places with him and to his house, which his mother knows. I thought the courts were going to do supervised visitation, and I had it set with his mother, but they took it all away. so my question is should I let him see him at his mothers still? I’m not trying to keep him out of his life just safe…
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No. If the courts took away his rights, there’s a damn good reason. If you are concerned about your child’s safety to the point of his rights being taken, then absolutely no visitation. If dss and the courts realize you are allowing visitation, you are putting your child’s safety in jeopardy. You are no longer protecting your child. I strongly encourage you to seek counseling because it sounds like you have been in an abusive, codependent relationship with your child’s father. Do not risk losing your child or your child being hurt over trying to be the good guy to a man that is NOT a good guy.
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There’s obviously a reason the courts took away EVERYTHING. Don’t do it. Block their numbers and move on.
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I would do supervised in a public place until you find out what the courts are going to do.
No…not if his rights were suspended. You could lose your rights too, for not following court order.
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No. They can go to the court and say that you have been letting him see the baby. They’ll drop everything you had against him. If they thought supervised visits at a DCFS office or court house were too dangerous then you definitely shouldn’t do anything outside the court order.
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Nope absolutely not!
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You could lose your kid for not listening to a court order … They would see it as neglect of a child’s safety.
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If you don’t follow the courts orders, you can be found in contempt. Plus - if his rights are suspended - including supervised visits - sounds like it’s not safe for him to be around your child.
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Depends on why the courts took it away.
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Mariel … read the post and all the comments please ! Just in case you think I’m kidding.
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I would abide by the courts order and they have suspended all his rights you should comply.
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While I get wanting there to be a relationship with the father, the courts have said no and like stated above it would be best for you to follow the court order… if the courts took away his rights then he needs to do what the courts are requiring for him to get the rights back and you enabling him to bypass the courts is not going to help in correcting whatever got him in this situation to begin with.
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Don’t be stupid. Once the child is with him, you will have a devil of a time getting him back. Ask for a guardian ad litum to help with the children/child receiving what is in their best interest .
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Hell no. Do it at a park with or at a mall. Be careful too cause if the courts find out they will take your rights away aswell for not following a court order. They’d see it as you are put the kid(s) in unsafe situations.
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You shouldn’t do anything without the court’s permission.
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Follow the court orders and don’t put the children in a possibly harmful situation. Remember *
Possession is 9/10ths of the law*
I’m worried about why they took all visitation away. That’s a huge flag
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Think that depends on how it was worded. My stepsons mother has no prenatal rights and no visitation plan either. Courts stated allowing contact was up to his father and if he ever felt they needed to be stopped to stop them. We were never told to stop all contact.
You sound confused. speak to a professional legal aide
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No. Not at this time. Time and circumstances will prove the best option. Do not cave Into your emotions at this time . Do not over think this matter. Stay liner with the courts. The courts had denied him all rights . If you proceed on a desire to him in the child life, let that happen in a few years when the waters are not so muddy. Now the waters are muddy. You do nothing but protect the child. Time will provide an even platform for him and the child. But not now. Be patient and use wisdom. Not now!
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The courts suspended his rights for good reasons according to your post so NO.
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Nope! If you allow it- he can say you lied to keep custody. The court will see that you don’t fear the dad, and give him shared custody!
I went thru this. My lawyer informed me of this!
Not to mention the safety of your child! I had sole custody of my daughter! Her dad supervised visits. Well one day my mom was watching my daughter. She took my daughter to her dad’s home ( without me knowing) and dropped my daughter off! Alone!!! I went to pick my daughter up as soon as I found out- it turned into a fight. He ended up in the hospital, me in jail 
And the court dropped supervised because apparently the child’s grandparent didn’t see a harm, so it was just me trying to get custody I fought and got my supervised visits back! Thankfully my daughter is now old enough to make up her mind - and she wants nothing to do with him 💁
Are you serious though? Hell no dont put your child in danger. First, Wouldn’t you be worried sick? Second, you could get In trouble. You said yourself, visitation was taken away for A GOOD REASON!!!
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Nope!! If it’s for safety reasons know if there’s not somebody that can handle him while the child is there.
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Obviously the courts didn’t feel this was a safe situation for the child or his rights wouldn’t of been revoked
I understand you’d like them to have a relationship yet I’m sure if this is what the father truly wants then he’ll do as he has to to regain rights to visit with child in the future
You listen to the court order. Period. Or risk losing your kid. They took his rights for a reason.
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Hell no don’t do nothing there’s a reason visitation was taken away. Wait till find out the REAL REASON WHY VISITATION was taken away.
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Why put your child at risk if you have already gone through court system it was for a reason
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You should go by court orders not what people want.
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Always Errrr on the side of SAFETY ! Follow your Gut cause it speaks
To your heart 
if you are doing something like that and the courts took it away … If he does something severe or chargeable , just BECAREFUL because you can fall under charges yourself depending on the situation… I’m just speaking legal
Side &
Detective side ! Just something to think about 
If court just happened and that was the courts decision ! Sit back for a few days
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Always follow the law. If you don’t like the Court’s decision, go back to court to see if they will change the orders. The court system sees these types of cases all day, every day, and chances are they are a little more experienced and therefore a little better judge of character. They made the decision they made to protect your child. Sometimes the situation sucks, but t don’t make it worse by catching a contempt of court charge. Then your child could end up in foster care. Your responsibility is to put your child, and his best interests, first … Which is what the courts have done and expect you to uphold and respect their decision.
It is really hard to get your parental rights taken away completely so if the judge says no no you follow those orders! You even say for good reason, why would you want to jeopardize your child’s safety!!!Follow your court orders girl!!!Let him earn the right to see your son!!! Good grief!!!
I am really surprised at alot of these peoples responses ( I was going to say women but didnt want to sound “offensive”, though all responses are from women), I dont know what the circumstances are in your case, but I will just say I have alot of experience with seemingly a similar situation… my advice would be, if you dont want to keep the child from their father completely (which is the right thing to do), and the father WANTS to see the child in any capacity possible… hence he’s not a “deadbeat” just may have made some mistakes and/or needs some help, I would say urge the court to have it put in the order that he has supervised visitation. Usually this is at the mothers discretion, meaning you should be able to choose who the supervisor is wether that be a family member or social worker… And good for you for seeing that completely cutting the father out isnt always the healthiest decision. To everyone else before you come for me with replies I urge you to remember… the “court” (judge, lawyers, etc.) are seemingly strangers to this family. Leaving life altering decisions up to strangers isn’t always the best thing. I wish their were more mothers out there like this woman, trying to figure out what is best for her child and her circumstaces while keeping the father involved. We have no idea what this man has done to have his rights taken away, we have no idea what his struggles are. Dads are important too!
There is a reason his rights are suspended.
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Definitely not…do not go against court…you could have your child taken away…a friend of mine…father has full custody…mom has drug problem…he let the boy go with mom because another person was there… someone phoned social services…he got a call the same day saying not to do that again or else…
He isn’t on the system works…but they got involved real fast…mom was in the system
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If the court took it away…must be a damn good reason. Why would you even ask or consider this?
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If the courts find out, after them suspending all his rights, they will take the child from you. They are doing it bc they feel that’s best for the child, you would then be putting the child in harms way. I worked at a kids shelter and we got a couple kids in for this same situation.
It’s your choice, I’m just telling you the possible consequences to those actions. They even have facilities that does supervised visitations, so if they aren’t even offering that, I’d be very careful
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If the courts ruled no on visitation don’t put yourself in a position where you could end up being charged with negligence if something happened while he was over there
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You’re going to violate a court order? Especially after you acknowledged its for good reason they did this? What the fuck is wrong with you?! Your child comes before anything. Before him and before yourself. Plus the court will not take kindly to that. You also risk him snapping and either kidnapping him or hurting him. Wonder what the reason is youre purposely leaving out 
🤦
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No there is a problem the court said no
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That’s up to u but when they start taking pictures or tell u can be in trouble for going against court orders.
Go against what the court has ordered and it will not be in your favor in the future. There’s a reason why it has been suspended and all party’s must adhere to the order. For all you know this could be a set up. Do what’s in you and your son’s best interest or you will regret it.
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NO .HE (the dad) COULD KILL HIS MOTHER, YOUR SON AND HIMSELF just to get back at you…don’t you read about all these kids that are murdered every day by their parent/parents .a guy just murdered his 3years old, 2 year old, 7 month old children, his wife the dog and himself…
DO NOT DO IT
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why did the courts do this? Courts are notoriously inept at actually protecting women and children, so if they are trying to protect you, maybe there is good reason.
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You can facilitate a vist between them…
But… as the court removed his legal right to the child…
It’s all on you so if neither of you want to go then the answer is no.
The court didnt bar him from contact or enact a protection order.
They simply removed any need you would ever have to listen to any thing he has to say regarding YOUR kid.
No, if the courts took away his rights there was a reason. They don’t just do that. If you send him over there you could completely lose all your rights and your son could end up in foster care. Absolutely not.
No…don’t take the risk. You’ve gotta talk to your boy so he understands.
If he’s close to his dad’s side of the family it must be hard but you gotta find a way to make him understand.
The court said no and they are above you as a mom. There has to be a good reason for the decision.
No supervised visits not with hi s mother with police or Department of child safety centre only
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Do not violate the courts orders. If you allow him to see your son, even at his mother’s house, I think you are in violation of the court orders. If you asked that he be allowed supervised visitation at the grandmother’s house and the court didn’t consider it, I would say it’s not allowed. Don’t cave at this point. You started this train rolling for what you thought was a good cause. Don’t try to manipulate the rules because it didn’t turn out like you wanted or you are having a weak moment. It could turn out real bad for you if you anger the judge. Also, whose is to say the grandmother won’t allow him to leave with your son, just to run an errand or something. Will your son be in danger, will he abscond with your son? Then what? Or the court gets a report that the two were together somewhere? No. It could go wrong in so many ways for your son or you or both. Don’t allow it no matter how much pressure or how “guilty” you may feel.
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Courts orders if they find out you did not listen and something happens to your child you could be held responsible. There is a reason they did that and there is a reason you are not with this man. Do not endanger your child.
I wouldn’t bcoz it could be used against you but feel 4 the dad if your happy to let him see the child!
Do what you feel is right for your son is it gonna hurt him mentally- physically to see his dad and grandparents only you know the situation… even if you don’t feel comfortable in a private home maybe a public place … park, arcade, skating rink… I’m saying use your judgment of what’s best for your son… I just know as a grandparent you can’t control what your children do and if your son is close to them maybe just them… but I don’t know the situation
First of all, is he a sexual predator? You didn’t tell us his crimes, how can we help you make an informed decision when you’re not telling us the whole story??
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Are you totally stupid? The court took away his rights to keep your son safe. You clearly do not care about your sons safety if this is even a question. And why bother in court and waste everyone’s time if you are considering letting him see your son. By even asking that question it makes me wonder if they should take him away from you for his safety too. And if you are still stupid enough to go against a court order you will find out the consequences when you are in jail, and then I am sure we will see a boo- hoo post “poor little me I am in jail for letting my son see his father who is a danger to him”. Or when something really bad happens to your son I hope you have a very large mirror to look in because YOU WILL BE TO BLAME!!
Absolutely not if they took away his rights then please dont go against the court rulings…you can possibly be held in contempt
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If u TRUST the mother. Fully. Completely. You must understand that the mother knows and believes her son is a danger to the child (most grandmothers never actually believe the accusations made of their own children and put children at risk).
I say yes, as long as all of the above is correct AND that the father committed no sexual acts to the child.
Btw - YOU have Nothing to feep guilty for here. Nothing. You’re doing a good job amd clearly care about your child’s welfare enough to ask.
Man none of you read this did you?? There is no protection order. The courts revoked his right as a parent.
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I wouldn’t risk it. Something about them even asking just gives me a bad feeling about it.
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No the court has done this for a very good reason however if his mother wisher to see him she can apply for visitation rights under the grand parents rights.
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You all are missing the keyword…rights are SUSPENDED. that does not mean rights are revoked indefinitely it also means TEMPORARY. also his mother has grandparents rights. And before you go consulting fb you need to consult with your attorney to see if this will hurt your case in any way possible.
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this varies as to why the courts stripped his rights away ? If it where me id choose a public place for the visitations like McDonald’s or something where its not in privacy because a lot can take place behind closed doors and usually a judge does these things because although you may know him they are capable of seeing far more than we are told by the dads mouth and by the basic society background checks and thats coming from a mom who study’s behavior for law so id really think on it because there is probably a good logical reason i get wanting the dad in the pic and his family by all means cause I myself have court orders as well in play with mine but id definitely choose a public place and possibly have someone you trust with you as you set up these visits in case something does happen then you have a witness preferably a individual with a clean background
If you go against what the courts have already said , you risk loosing your child
Your son will then have lost both parents
Please do as the courts have asked of you and don’t let the father make you cave in
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Well sunshine, if you have to keep your son from his father to “keep him safe” hell no!! Hell Fuck No!! That is not a father, he has donated sperm. Real fathers don’t harm their children or make their mothers “keep them safe” from them. Good luck and be safe!!
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You cared enough about him at one time to have a child together- so you should somewhat share him- Divorce/child custody is BAD- some say Bad things about the other parent- Instead of one parent being superior to the other- Share- Never speak Bad of the other- IF you’re concerned- GO to the mothernlaw with your child- stay- dont talk anything negative- til you feel safe trusting them- sometimes Courts dont have the Best answers
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It depends on the crime really… Do a supervised visit… Do it personally so nobody knows… If its a sex crime or hurting children crime then NO…
“Completely” suspended…Do you mean terminated? That has a whole different meaning. A court suspends or terminates rights if it believes a child is in imminent danger. Go against a court order and you could be in deep trouble. Consult a lawyer or the call court officer and ask them to explain what you can and can’t do under the judge’s ruling. You are obviously trying to do the best for your child. Good luck!
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If the Court took his rights away from him for a reason and only you know what it and if the grandparent’s want to c them it should be only at your house also you could lose your rights if you allowed the farther to c them when the Court took his rights so don’t lose your rights also
Not unless u wanna get your rights taken too.
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You know the answer to this in your heart and your lawyer would tell you if you want to allow this child around his father in any way shape or form that you’ll be the next one to have rights suspended. I mean let the grandmother see the child at your house or in a public place. The father will just have to wait to clean up his mess and ask the court for reconsideration. You need to protect your child from the world and sometimes that means family. The grandmother isn’t trust worthy to not let him see the child either and the Court said NO. NO MEANS NO!
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Invite the grandmother to visit him at your house. They keep the bond and she can report back to the father.
No the courts did it for a reason
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The court did this for a reason…you say it’s to keep him safe ? they also said no to grandma too ? Mmmm wonder why you’d be stupid if you go against what court says…question for you …what would you do if you let your child go to granny’s house and dad did something to your child?
You already know the answer…If the courts have taken away all his rights then there is a very good reason that they have done that. I’d just go with what the courts have said unless you want to risk your rights to your child to. If the grandparents want to see your child then you meet them somewhere or they come to you. End of the the day all this is in the best interest of your Child,to keep him safe and out of harms way. Do not go against the courts as you will be held accountable for your actions.
First off NO to the dad. The child can deal with dad when he comes of age and will. It’s not on you. Allow the grandmother to come to your house to visit. But make it known, just a visit no talking of all the nonsense and if it comes up visit over. You keep control! Let her visit a couple hrs once a month, if it goes well.
A court may suspend a parent’s physical or legal custody rights if doing so is in the best interest of the child. Because of the strong presumption that parents should be able to exercise their rights, a court will only suspend a parent’s rights if the child’s wellbeing is in imminent danger, based on significant proof, and evidence presented to the courts .
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Trust your gut, thats what you should do.
Absolutely not. Judges see a lot of cases. If they have decided he does not have visits then there is a reason. He will have to go back to court to get it changed before he is allowed.
You will be at fault and in jeopardy of losing your rights if found to be going against it. It not like a typical order an adult will get. You child will be assigned an advocate and they will take you to court also.
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He lost the right, he needs to earn the right back. I would not let him see him until the courts allow. This must be so difficult for you- stay strong mama!
No you should not allow any visitation. You are violating a court order if you do. You could face jail time. That court order is not a suggestion,it is a command. Besides that your child isn’t safe with his father so why risk it? Neither the father or grandmother should have access to the child. You are not keeping the child away, his father obviously did that on his own.
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I could see that back firing on your a$$. And it will.
I dont feel like courts do a good job with promoting child father relationships…I would do video chats for kid and dad everyday until things get worked out.
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I can’t imagine what kind of father he is to lose his rights as a parent… and you wanting supervised visits?? That’s mean your child is being in danger in so many levels if the court decide to take this man’s rights away, you still thinking that leaving him with his father is a good option??? Honey do that and the court is gonna take your child away from you too…
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If his rights were taken away then he’s technically your son regardless of his DNA. Something horrible must’ve happened for it to even get to that.
You mentioned you want to keep your son safe & if that is even a concern then you should keep your child away from him and possibly the grandmother too
Courts don’t just take away parents rights for no good reason, protect your child at all cost
If this man wanted to be a father, wanted to be in his child’s life then he wouldn’t have allowed the courts to even have a reason to get involved
Without knowing the full story of why his rights were taken it’s hard to say just let him see him. For you to pose this question you must not be comfortable letting him. If your gut is telling you “no” please listen
Ridiculous the courts have to protect your child when it should be you
Offer facetime or video calls instead. It’s your child’s safety and if it’s been determined that the dad is a serious safety risk you dont need to have him around your kid at all. If you want him to be involved still do the video calls from a McDonald’s or something, let them talk and all that but not be around each other
I wouldn’t. Because if they took them away from him and her visitation is also for a reason they feel that your child is in some sort of danger. If you allow them to see him against this ruling and then they try to go back to court and obtain the rights back… They’re likely to give it back if you’re going to do it anyways
If his rights have been suspended I would think that the courts have put conditions on him that he has to meet to have his rights re instated.until he applies to court and has his rights reinstated do not let him see the little one. The courts can charge you with failure to comply and child protection can remove the little one from your custody for failure to keep him safe or for allowing him to be in a dangerous situation. If the father wants visitation then HE needs to do the things necessary to have the courts reinstate his rights. If the grandmother wants to see the baby and there are no stipulations that she can’t then let her come to your house then there is no fear that the dad will show up. Do not let her take him anywhere and it might be in your best interest to have a friend or one of your family present when she visits.
I would be cautious, the courts may view your letting him have access to the child after they took it away questionable.
I think u already have ur answer here. U r worried about the child’s safety and the courts terminated his rights. The courts dont do that lightly. Dont let the child go to his mom’s so he can visit the child. Do u really think the father wont take the child somewhere if he wants to? That is a huge risk to the child and its not worth it. Do facetime or something maybe but no to visits until the court says so. If something happens to the child on one of those visits it could come back on u in a bad way cuz u put the child in a place that wasn’t safe.
If something happened, and the courts have said no, you could lose your rights for child endangerment. I would not go against the courts. Dad will just have to work and prove to the courts that he is ready again.
U have the say so now. If u want the kids to see him at grandmas house then go for it. Only u know the limits
I think you already know what to do. Keep your son safe!
No… are you kidding? You needed to ask this?? Trying to keep her safe by not being with him and the courts agreed so you’re going to send her to him so his MOM can supervise? You think she isn’t biased? Wrong!
This has been ordered thru the courts that your child’s father has lost his rights to see him period its not advised you go against the courts I’m not a lawyer.but unfortunately the court made its desicion abide by it
If anything happens to that child it’s gonna come back on you, because if the courts said he shouldn’t even have visitation then you’re violating the law
Nope. Something happened for them to be suspended after arangements were made…don’t trust either of them
What would stop his mother from letting her son take him away from her house. I have a family member who’s ex was not allowed anywhere near his children from his first marriage. His parents went for visitation ( grandparents rights) .They were granted visitation and were told their son could not come to the house when his children were visiting. He lost his rights because he was abusing them. Well his mother did not see anything wrong with letting him take the kids where ever he wanted. Needless to say but he abused the kids again. Now the grandparents lost visitation. But those poor kids were put through all that again for several months and it should never have happened. Your son’s grandmother is his fathers mother and she will let him take that child where ever he wants. Don’t do it. The courts took his rights away for a reason. They don’t do that on a whim.
Go with the court order unless you can be there as well.
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