Should I message the person who has been messaging my fiance on Tinder?

Why message the person? The problem is your boyfriend! Confront him. You’re so gullible.

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Why TF would you want to get engaged to him?
He made a tinder. To have “conversation” about his interests. Naw. Emotional affairs are a real thing.
Emotional affairs can lead to physical.
If you get engaged and marry him. Then that’s just stupid.
Talk to him and either set boundaries or leave. It’s very simple

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This is crazy to me. You’re worried he’ll get mad if you message the person he’s talking to on a dating site when you’re supposed to be his “Almost” fiance? I really hope you’re trolling because it not you have absolutely no self-esteem or common sense. This guy doesn’t want to marry you. He’s looking for your replacement regardless of what you want to think. Leave him alone & get your priorities straight. Therapy wouldn’t hurt either & I’m not talking about couples therapy. Smh

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Emotional cheating is worse in my opinion. Relationships can lasts years without sex. But they won’t last with just sex.

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It’s like the thought of getting married scared him… He’s not ready for the commitment, I’m sorry to say… I’ve been there and it’s not going to change dear, move on and don’t waste anymore precious years like I did.

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The question you should be asking is if you should marry him? He may not have had a physical affair yet but it definitely sounds like he’s at least headed to an emotional one.
There is no need to message the woman. She’s not in the relationship…she’ll either continue to talk to him or he’ll find another and hide it better. In all honesty it’s time to walk away.

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No, you need to leave. Absolutely not ok at all. He’s looking for an avenue to leave and lieing straight to your face.

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Don’t get engaged to him, things like this won’t stop.

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The day you feel you have to message another person telling them to leave your partner alone is the day you need to end things with your partner.

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How about dump your BF since you are BOTH on there.

You’re a huge red flag too. Who the FK makes PLANS to get engaged. I bet you pressed n pressed n pressed n he gave in to shut you tf up. And then you’re allowing this behavior on top of it. Oh no no noooooooo babygirl, come on now. Tell YOUR side

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“Why is she messaging him”… maybe you should ask yourself why is he messaging her. No one goes on a dating app to make friends when they are dating someone… at least someone who is focused on their own relationship. Its weird he is trying to match with females to become friends. I am all for people having friends of opposite s*x but the way he is going about it is wrong. Its like her is purposely findint a female to find common interest with.

This seems like its all bad an not sure why you would wanna still be with him. Dont be petty an involve the woman. Not her problem your man is straying. She probably doesnt even know you exist and please done be one of those catty women that go nuts on anothet woman. He is the problem

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I wouldn’t waste my time with the message or the engagement. Girl run.

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My phone is dying someone like this so I can come back please

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See the writing on the wall and move on. He’s not ready for the marriage commitment

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How is this her fault? Why would you expect someone else to police your fiance?

If he’s with you, he’s with you. Period. He’s clearly not.

Move on.

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Girlllllllll that women has nothing to do with u check ur man not her wtf

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I really hope this is not real :woozy_face:

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He is only telling you what you want to hear. Why would you message the woman??? It’s your boyfriend who is cheating or at least trying to cheat.

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Mammm…why are you still in this relationship…there’s a giant red flag and that MF hittin you in the face…:pinched_fingers:t4:

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You are in denial girl he is either cheating or thinking about cheating. You don’t “work on” communication by talking to another woman. Putting the cheating issue aside communication is a big part of a relationship and if it’s true that you don’t have it then this relationship won’t work regardless.

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You’re getting mad at the wrong person.
He’s actively seeking an emotional affair.
Dump him. You don’t deserve to be second.

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Let that boy go and find a man

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I wouldn’t call him your fiance if he’s on tinder

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No I’m sorry no no no no no he wants his cake and to eat it too… or whatever that saying is…lol
he literally wants you because he loves you and your his “comfort zone” and he also wants to steer outside the relationship
&that’s not right at all! The oart where he just wanting to talk to people about his “own interest” that’s what his friends are for and if he has no friends to co versate with then he should go try to meet some guy friends because most guys have the most interest
…there is no girl that is going to have his every interest !! No one has all the same intetests as anyone else…thats what makes us unique…if a girl does seem to have similaor intetests she is prob being fake like most girls do in the start of a relationship…
Just being honest.
Deff make sure you are not wasting your time and he isnt just trying to find someone else that he considers better than you and keep you hanging along while doing it

So it would be fine for you to make a tinder profile and talk to other guys about intreset that he doesn’t like?

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Tinder is for hookups. Never mind “dating”. That’s a HUGE red flag… and you most certainly should not get engaged to him.
The girl is NOT the problem. She probably doesn’t even know you exist to be honest with you.
Kick him to the curb and move onto someone else.
Someone who wants to be with you will try everything he possibly can to not only be with you but he will try to communicate with you amongst other things and WILL NOT turn to someone else to stroke his ego, his genitals… his anything…
cut your losses and cut the guy (dog) lose…
if the relationship was worth keeping… he wouldn’t be on tinder looking for someone to “talk” to cause you both don’t have the same interests… nor would you be posting anything like this in a group on Facebook cause you wouldn’t feel the need to… and he wouldn’t be having an “emotional relationship” with someone. An “emotional relationship” with someone other than who you’re with… is still cheating in my opinion.

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Don’t bother messaging the girls just go on his profile an write on the part you tell abit about yourself change it. Delete what he wrote an write he’s a lier an cheater an has a partner😅 then run he trash.

Oh God :joy::joy::joy: you poor gullible girl :joy::joy::joy:

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No, don’t message her. Just leave. You’re “about to get engaged” :thinking: just no.

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Think logical here. He’s not your man. You share that man. You are questioning yourself if you’re (fiance) will be mad at you for messaging another woman he is talking to only about his other interest.
It’s pretty obvious his other interest are other woman.

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Hello…tinder is a hook up site…this woman / man, doesn’t give a rats a$$ if you are to be engaged…or married with a house full of kids…your man is looking for a side order…dump him…his not yours anyway…but a player.

Let him go, you move on & leave the tinder woman alone. None goes on a dating place 2 talk! Get yourself a man who makes you his whole world!

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Yes, they may not know about you!

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Why message her? He is obviously a bs artist. Walk away and never come back.

You need to leave.
Value yourself more

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People dont chat with people they meet on tinder. Get out now don’t waste your time with the player. He will always look for validation elsewhere.

No drop his ass! Fuck him! He’s the trash. She don’t owe you anything. He’s the one on the site to begin with and he’s the one allowing the communication. These boys belong in the garbage!

Why get engaged if your communication between the two of you sucks and he wants to get that elsewhere?

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Dump him. Leave anyone he talks to alone. He’s cheating. :roll_eyes:

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When you have to check his/her ph imo it’s done.No trust = no relationship.Cheating isn’t just physical just like domestic violence isn’t just beating someone

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Why?!?!?! Find someone that VALUES you! Don’t even bother. You’re worth more than that!

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Message her off your own phone on your way right out of that relationship, if my husband ever does something like that one of us is leaving him or I.

Address it with the “man” you want to marry…he is the one stepping out

Dude…leave him. Tinder? Seriously? Get out of that relationship… he is cheating on you.

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Oh heck no. He is playing you.

Tinder is not the place to be finding people to talk to. There’s many other apps and groups where he could find like-minded friends. Get rid of him. I wouldn’t be marrying a man that does that.

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Since when does tinder do therapy? Smh that’s a bs excuse! Don’t get engaged. If he wants someone to talk to, that’s fine, but he feels he needs to find that person on a dating app?

You’re an idiot.
Why even post these ridiculous questions??? Are people really this ridiculous? :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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It’s a red flag sweetie ,so better think about it :thinking::roll_eyes:he’s cheating

He’s looking for his next girlfriend that has more interests it seems. If you’re engaged he doesn’t need to search for someone to have similar interests unless he wants to have some guy friends in my opinion. Why can’t he just go somewhere with you and meet friends be social do things? I’m sorry that really sucks. Sometimes people aren’t very honest in what they want because they want their cake and eat it too, or they want to find a way to back out. Seems like he’s nicely telling you what you and him lack and that’s what he wants in a marriage? We don’t know your man and your relationship though. Trust your gut, talk to him.

:woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::roll_eyes::roll_eyes: your relationship is a hot mess and trust me if it’s there this many ups and downs and lack of communication and lack of trust you guys are NOT going to have a good marriage.

Do not go messaging this other person just pack your stuff up and leave. You need to value yourself more.

Tinder is a DATING/FLING site not a let’s talk type of site.

You have choices to make

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How is he your fiance and still on Tinder? That’s the question I’d be asking.

He could make friends instead of going on a dating app claiming to be making friends… he’s being an ass and gaslighting the hell out of you.

Girl, REALLY? Emotional cheating is just as bad as a sexual relationship! You really need to revaluate how you want to be treated!

He’s entertaining another woman while in a relationship… cheating isn’t always physically…

If you cannot communicate in your relationship with one another then there is no point of continuing the relationship. Let the dude go. He’s clearly not content with his relationship or else he wouldn’t be texting someone else…

:smirk::smirk: in the past when I was an immature, piece of shit, and girls like you would message me i would troll the fuck outta them. I didn’t have sympathy and found it funny to see the other girl’s pain. Not everyone is a good person- by messaging her you risk provoking a response you might not want.

You’re more worried about messaging her and him getting angry?

Naw girl don’t message her. It’s your boyfriend’s fault he’s talking to her. I wouldn’t ask nothing. But I’d damn sure show him the door. :woman_shrugging:t2:

First of all he is the one who is texting this person. The problem is him. Absolutely be upset. It’s best to know now if he can be trusted, be faithful and committed to a relationship. You need to be open to see the truth and set it right …now!!! You need to start a life together in trust. And already he’s not.

If there’s no trust in a relationship then there isn’t a relationship at all. In my opinion I think you guy’s should get your priorities straight or end things

You have to deal w the issue with your spouse. If you run the girl off there will just be another one next week. Communicate how you’re feeling and go from there.

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“We are engaged to be engaged” :joy::joy::joy::clown_face::clown_face::clown_face::clown_face::clown_face::clown_face::clown_face: stfu!!! He took several steps with the intention to cheat and blatantly told you, you took that excuse no problem ans now you wanna make your dumpster fire that tinder matches problem? :joy::joy::joy: look you already told him it was cool to cheat, put on your rainbow wig, adjust your red nose and stfu cause clearly you a :clown_face: LEAVE. He basically smacked you right in the face with a red flag and you still there? Stfu :joy::joy::joy:

Texting her is not the answer. She’s not the problem. If not her, then someone else. Not worth it.

Leave now, thank us later

Please for the love of god don’t get married :sweat_smile:

He’s emotional cheating on you

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You either trust or you don’t.

About to be engaged lol

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He shouldn’t have a tinder if he’s in relationship! Girl you need to slap yourself into reality :face_with_peeking_eye:

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Tinder is not where you go to seek someone you just want to talk with about like interests unless said interests are sexual in nature. Don’t contact this person because it’s only going to hurt you more but look at your last 4 years. Remember the good times and move on. Don’t let him play you like that.

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GET OUT!! Sounds like garbage to me! He’s got male friends he can talk to about his interests!

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No no no. This is a HUGE red flag. He is totally pulling one over on you. And WHY are you blaming the girl when it’s YOUR GUY who is cheating on you? Do not get engaged with this pos he will end up doing all types of cheating and then you heart broken. If he wants other people to talk with about his interests he makes friends on Facebook and not women on a DATING SITE. Like you can not be truly okay with this right?

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Don’t message her…he’s the problem! Dump his ass and move on! He does not want to be engaged or be in a monogamous relationship. Messaging her is pointless, she may not even know about you; he is trying to have his cake and eat it to. I wouldn’t give him an opportunity to lie and fill your head with bullshit reasons why he needs/wants to be on a dating/hooking up app talking to other women. He is not worth your time and you need to kick him to the curb, let him be his new “friend’s” problem and move on! He’s no good and definitely doesn’t love you, otherwise you would be all he needs. (Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so harsh, but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck!)

No. You have too much class. If he is entertaining another woman in conversation that makes you feel a certain type of way. Address it with him. Hes the problem, not her.

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There are other, way more innocent avenues, to use to talk to someone about your interests and hobbies than tinder!!
Does he honestly think you don’t know what tinder is actually for?!?! :woman_facepalming:t4:

If he’s talking to other chicks he’s not your man. Simple. You can’t steal a man that has his eyes on his woman. That’s it. Don’t marry this fool. Let him figure his life out. He’s not for you

It’s not her fault it’s his

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What you should do is leave him. Trust me when I tell you one time betrayal won’t be the last

So you want to message her and ask her why she’s talking to him… but not question why he’s on a dating web site for casual hook ups?? Your priorities are all wrong. That lady has nothing to do with your relationship and has no loyalty to you or owes you an explanation.
You’re being gas lighted and manipulated.

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Well, texting her will not solve your issues with him ,you said that you read their messages if they were inappropriate ( sexual kind ) you should consider not to get engage with him .

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Girl if you don’t leave him rn :weary::weary:

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Ya boy is having his cake and eating it

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Why would you message her? She’s not the one you’re dating. “Why are you messaging him we were about to be engaged” does she even know about you? Does she know you were planing for an engagement? Cause I’m pretty sure he knows about you. And that you guys talked about engagement. The question should be Why is HE messaging HER.

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He’s playing you so hard

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My guessed is why are you texting HER?
She’s not the one stepping out he is.
If you can’t trust him then he’s not the right one you. And don’t think once your married he’s going to change either…
But just trust your guts you’ll know if its wrong. Good luck but If you don’t have trust hon then you don’t have a true relationship.

Uhm, you leave.
Clearly he has no respect for you and your relationship.

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If he has the need to talk to someone else maybe y’all shouldn’t be together or need to work on your relationship and definitely shouldn’t even be thinking about marriage yet

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He’s telling you that you are not enough and he needs more. Don’t marry him

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So he’s complaining that you two don’t communicate enough, so he’s decided to “communicate” with another women …honey that’s what mates and therapists are for, he’s wasting your time. Move on

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Red flag sweetie, it does NOT get better. Don’t keep your head in the sand. Don’t be mad at her be mad as hell at HIM!!!

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Why message her? She didn’t do anything wrong, he is obviously the dumbass here and you have bought into his BS. Throw the whole man out if yall can’t figure out how to communicate now about simple things like his so called “interests” you have no business marrying eachother

Just cut & :running_woman: now " he Isa cheater " ask him how he would feel if that was you messenging a guy :boy:

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He wants his cake and eat it too

Sounds like he’s not telling you the whole truth time to ditch him go be happy with a man that loves you and not you and 50 other girls

Sounds like he needs a boyfriend to talk to then or you need a new boyfriend to talk to . Should not be getting married, and just so much is going on here … he wrote a essay to go talk to someone , a female, about hobbies on a dating site ?? … just to talk to someone ?? on tinder …:upside_down_face::grimacing:

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If he is even entertaining another women…LEAVE!

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Omg get out no one downloads tinder to make friends

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Why does he need you if he can’t communicate with you . If he can’t be fully committed to you only then you don’t need to be engaged. Soon it will be more than just talking .

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No, you don’t message her. Whether she knows he’s taken or not, he is responsible for his own actions. Seeking someone connection of mind, body, or soul will create cracks, and that is not how a monogonous relationship works.

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