Wtf did I just read? 
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Yeah I would message that person n ask them what’s up ( I don’t cut to the chase I’m the confrontational type of gal ;))
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I feel like I’m in a Similar boat. Maybe ya aren’t compatible if ya can’t communicate wat do ya have.
Your partner is just trying to find out if they can snag someone better before they settle for you. Don’t message anybody… just get you shut together so you can leave this person. They aren’t loyal to you. Do not under any circumstances have unprotected sex, get to a doctor for testing, find job/new home if needed and do NOT marry this person.
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throw the whole man away
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Nah, time to go. If he can’t communicate things with you, and finds others to fill that space then he’s making it as you aren’t enough. I wouldn’t marry him nor be engaged to him
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I love how ppl on my friends list comment on this b.s like they have the perfect life and perfect husband when they clearly dont!!! They be mad cuz there husband ate their leftovers and they don’t have a real relationship so they have to complain about it on f.b.!!! Buy yet they be commenting on every question yall ask lmfao!!!
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Probably need to start with him! HE is the PROBLEM!
I’m sorry but I cannot believe you would entertain that kind of nonsense! Please know your worth sweetheart 
Not cheating but wants to talk and communicate with someone on a dating website?
Good Gravy and Biscuits, He just needs to walk himself out the door!
Good luck hun
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I used to do what he is doing. He is scoping out a replacement. This is the middle of an escape plan. Mark my words.
Take your dignity, and leave…
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Girrrrrl stop right now! Re-read wtf u just typed:flushed:he’s on tinder looking for someone to communicate w other females bc he wants someone to “talk” to???
u think the problem is her? U think it’s only about conversation? Bc that’s his response to u? This is just as bad As physically cheating. Going to her won’t fix ur issues! U shouldn’t have to tell other females that he’s urs! 
PSA: BELIEVE NOTHING U HEAR:ear:t3:ONLY BELIEVE HALF OF WHAT U SEE, WITH YOUR OWN EYES:eyes: *meaning: don’t believe ANYTHING that he says or her for that matter. And believing only half of what u see…just simply means there is definitely more to it. U only seen a few messages. There is more. HES YOUR PROBLEM! Not her!
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Talk to him… she had nothing to do with it. If he continues this behavior, he doesn’t value what you two have together. He chose TINDER to talk to someone about his interests??? Right.
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It’s his fault lmao leave
What I would do is kick dude to the curb. That is cheating. He could of talked to a pastor? A counselor? He could of recommended premarital counseling to improved y’all’s communication skills…what you don’t do is go to a DATING website AND talk intimately to other women. THIS is emotional cheating and that’s how it leads to physical cheating.
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Why would you marry a man talking to other women. Do you not have any self respect at all??? No you move on. He’ll cheat married or not. Abort proposal!!
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You betta check ur dude!!
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No don’t message them but do dump him. Do better.
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Your man shouldn’t even be on tinder so it’s his fault mainly why message her
Think of it this way… If a door is locked, you can’t get in. His door was open, it was up to him to keep it shut. He owed you loyalty, not her. Wrong person to be hitting up.
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how about wait to gwt engaged till he randomly asks you? how do people
plan an engagement? isn’t that something that should be a surprise? idk maybe i’m living under a rock. but to me I feel like I would be forcing my partner if we “planned” to get engaged. especially while he’s talking to another woman.
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On Tinder he wants to talk, no other form of communication available to help with his non ability to talk with you? One would think if you are getting engaged with the prospects of marriage, you could talk about anything and everything. I would cancel this whole relationship, not be considering engagement, it is all a big joke, but no laughing matter and you are going to be hurt very much.
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he’s literally LOOKING FOR A REPLACEMENT for when he breaks it to you that he is not going to propose!!!
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Leave him girl I’m sorry but if he wanted to simply communicate then I mean there is Facebook, Instagram, snap chat so wtf he join tinder lol
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Coming from someone that’s been cheated on numerous times…it’s not her fault. It’s HIS fault. No need to be angry at her. A man in a committed relationship shouldn’t be on Tinder. The day he felt the need to speak to other women like that is the day he cheated on you. You should rethink the engagement and RUN…run far, far away!!
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Girl you need to ask yourself “do I deserve this kind of relationship/treatment” if yes then get some help. If no then RUN do not walk!
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Who are you in a relationship with? Her or him? Don’t worry about messaging her, she’s not the problem, he’s the problem. And honestly all you really need to tell him is you’re done. You’re about to be engaged… nope that’s just something he said to keep you on the hook longer.
You don’t go on a dating app to work on communication in your relationship WITH OTHER LADIES! Again all lies to keep you on the hook.
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You don’t join tinder for a penpal… I wouldn’t waste a second messaging the other woman because she’s not at fault here, he is. If he so quickly runs to someone else for “comfort”… he will never be faithful or loyal to you. Get rid of him… you deserve better.
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She probably has no idea about you so why would she know you’re engaged. This is your man being unfaithful and being on tinder-it’s not her fault. People only go on tinder for one thing…
I smell a cheater , red flag 
watch your back
Girl just leave!!!
Bro I don’t even know where to start 
There is no “about to be engaged” either one of you have asked and you are engaged or you aren’t
Your partner has a tinder account…do you not know what tinder is for?
Please please please for the love of God tell me your dumbass doesn’t have any kids, with him or anyone else
You need to leave him, because his story sounds like bs, and he’s laying the groundwork to be with someone else–no matter what story he is telling you.
No you just leave lol
Yes message asking address I’d like to deliver my no ex to your doorstep please. Lol
Tinder is nothing more than a hook up site!! Him thinking you’re ok with him being on there is basically giving him permission to cheat!! Don’t message her he probably said he was single and she has no idea about you!! I think twice before getting engaged!!
wow and you wanna get engaged to this dude kick him to the crub like garbbish he is
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Oh Bless your heart. You can’t possibly be that blind…
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Message her and then get rid of the man.
He IS cheating on you! It doesn’t have to be sexual for him to be cheating. If he is talking to someone else on Tinder, of all places, it is a short walk to physically cheating if he hasn’t already. Time to move on because this guy has already checked out of your relationship.
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He went on tinder for a chat? Lol. That’s not what tinder is for. He’s not going on there just to talk.
Throw the whole man away do not get engaged do not marry him. Find your respect and get someone who deserves you
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No , you pack and leave no good will come from pledging your life to this man 
If you’re having to sneak through his phone, you already know what you need to do… Get the hell outta there, fast.
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I would message her every thing he messages you show her s**t load photos you 2 together him kissing you play his game show him you can play better so whatever he is saying to you show her
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I can’t see for all the red flags in this post!
I mean, if you two can’t talk about things, why would you even want to marry him? You don’t have to have the same interests to be genuinely interested, or fain interest in something your partner likes. Also Tinder? I mean this excuse is weak at best, 
there are plenty of places to escape on the Internet to, to talk. I.e reddit? The most active online community of people just waiting to engage. The boy thinks you’re a mug.
Plus sneaking through his phone?
U don’t message her at all! It’s him!
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Mayday mayday- turn this ship around sister.
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Wow. You really that blind in love, that your willing to over look the fact that he isn’t for you nor is he ready to get married. Tell her… and then what? Chase every single woman away that comes near instead of just calling the whole relationship off and being honest with yourself.
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Sounds like he has doubts of the not so good kind…get out before you throw more of your life away on what may be your dream…not his .
Lord, I know you are not still with him. Kick him out. Where is your pride?
You go talk to a counselor not a tinder match. She doesn’t know about you as his gf, so please leave her out of it. He’s the sole issue and should solely be dealt with if you feel disrespected.
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Question your fiance, duh.
Why would he need to have a woman friend from tinder of all places just to ‘talk’ to. Does he not have males friends for that? He’s playing you woman, wake up!!
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Hmmm wonder if it’s my ex husband 
HE MUST REALLY THINK YOU ARE NAIVE OR REALLY GUILLABLE…OR DUMB AS A POST
he joins a dating site for hooking up with girls because he thinks he can find someone to talk about his interests because he cant communucate with you…isnt that what guy friends are for…nope he needs a female of course to discuss his interests
Something wrong with your relationship right there
Do you know how wrong this is …all its going to do is fill you with anxiety and fear that he isnt talking about any interests like he said but wanting to be with other females
Soon its going to be talking sexual and about hooking up
What you have is not a fiancee but a major pos…
So when he finds something better he will dump you or if he doesnt
He still will probably want to marry you while cheating on you the entire time
Dont let him know what you see on his tinder site
You do not text the female WHY because he texted her and you want tosee how far he goes with her
You should play along and join tinder yourself under a fake name with a fake pic of a gorgeous girl and talk with him and then ask about meeting up after a few weeks of talking…when he says yes which is what he will do you plan to meet at a motel on a certain day and tell him the room # and when he knocks on the door you are waiting inside with a gf of yours…BUSTED…
You can also download a spyware on his phone so you dont have to constantly be looking in it especially when a girl starts getting ihterested and then he will start deleting and maybe hiding his phone
Go on google and find a site like pc ta.tletail i had to use a dot because facebook doesnt like names on here you need his phone to be able to download it and its hooked up to your phone and you pay a subscription fee but you can see his texts, deleted conversations, videos, dating apps and he wont know its even there…so you dont have to stalk his phone but watch it all on your phone
Eventually when you finally see for yourself what a pos he us maybe you will finally dump him after catching him meeting up with some random chick
Its heartbreaking becsuse you really love him but obviously the feeling isnt mutual
Good luck and i hope you pull your head out of the sand…
Uuumm go to a therapist not freakin tinder a dating site , red flag !
I don’t have any nice things to say about this situation. Girl just go.
If he wanted to actually just talk to someone he could have found a guy friend anywhere… even online. Why would anyone need “tinder” of all places to just “talk”, and why a woman? Tinder is ummm a place to hook up for ummm affairs and one night stands. If you believe any of that I have an island for sale in the South Pacific. Honestly, he’s obviously lying. Surely you don’t buy into any of that!!! If you go along with his lies you’ll just find out later down the road that he’s escalated to cheating, if he hasn’t already but good at hiding it, and apparently he has a a way about him that you buy into his far fetched stories. If he already is disrespecting you, why would you allow yourself to continue in this relationship? You are headed for a long, sad life if you stick with him. And the girl on tinder… why on earth would you talk to her? She’s not the problem, he is!! If it’s not her, there’ll be another woman. And he may be just “talking” right now, but it always escalates to meeting, then cheating. They all start out just talking.
He is playing games with you. Not the other persons fault at all. Value yourself first.
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in all many ways to find someone to talk to, pretty sure TINDER is not it . If his interest in business, then he should join a workshop or networking; sports - then sign up a class. Girl, he thinks he can play you… don’t let him & do better.
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He’s clearly looking for someone other than you. Or else he wouldn’t have even joined a dating app… run now. Run far.
Tinder is NOT the place you go if you need to talk to someone .
I wouldn’t even be thinking about messaging her or getting engaged. I’d be walking out that door.!!!
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You don’t go to tinder to “talk”.
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U should just continue to see what he would rather do
Join tinder yourself and see how he feels about you talking to other men about your interests
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You talk to HIM. He has the responsibility to you where HE is your partner not the person he’s talking to. And if he so badly needs someone to share HIS interests with then tell him to find a male friend. Tinder is for hook ups rite? Not making platonic friendships….
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So HE made the Tinder and HE messaged someone and you want to be pissed at her?
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Your problem is not with whoever he’s messaging. Your problem is with him. HE doesn’t need to be messaging any other people if HE says HE wants YOU. This is probably the lack of communication he’s talking about honestly. Why wouldn’t you talk to him about this? It doesn’t matter who he’s talking to. He’s talking to someone else. Deal with that.
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Y tf would u plan ur own engagement that’s stupid takes fun out of it all and secondly she ain’t the problem he is bc he’s entertaining it and ur just honestly dumb and eating way too many crayons if u believe he ain’t cheating it’s still emotional and mentally cheating which is worse
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If he wants someone to talk to about his interests he needs to make some d@mn friends. Why would he go to tinder lmfaooo… why can’t he talk to you about his interests or communicate with you?? Just leave him before y’all get married and start popping out kids 
Yes find out the truth
Oh honey. Leave now and be glad you found out that he is a douche before you wasted anymore time on him. Guys that love you don’t want to talk to other women like that. They are more interested in you and making sure you and him stay connected, not trying to connect with someone else.
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Not your person! Move on!
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Why would you want somebody who is openly on a dating site practically rubbing your nose in it? You deserve better.
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You find ppl to chat to on fb Insta even twitter, tinder has only 1 purpose get jim to fuck
Red flag. Plz don’t ahead with the engagement.
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Oh, Sweetie. If you’ve been together for 4 years and he doesn’t think you have interests in common to talk about with each other by this time, instead of him talking to another woman, or maybe women, there’s a big problem. I would seriously reconsider getting engaged to this man. If he’s already reaching out to other women and you are talking commitments? He’s not the one for you.
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You sound like a child. Like your not mentally understanding what a relationship is or what boundaries are…Your making excuses for him and wanting to go to the woman who has no fault here…y’all ain’t ready for engagement sis….he is screaming that loud and clear….
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You should message your fiance and tell him to leave.
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You have invested 4 years into this guy so I get why you don’t want to cut out and start over but please understand that this guy is not as invested in you as you are in him.
It’s totally fine if you guys don’t have all the same things in common but he should be talking to you about them anyway or his male buddies. If he doesn’t have friends he can join a FB group for whatever his interest is but he has no business “looking for people to talk to” on Tendor.
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You leave!
Not message her she unfortunately owes you nothing him on the other hand next!
Teagan Sealey
Don’t message her, she probably doesn’t know and that just makes you look crazy. Do not get engaged to that boy though, leave! He could make friends with anyone any way, he chose tinder? That is a MASSIVE red flag
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Eh you leave him. He ain’t interested. Tinder isn’t for chatting to people it’s a dating site.
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He is your problem, not the other person. He has a commitment to you, not the other person. He is at fault.
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Why does your fiance have a Tinder account in the first place ?
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It’s not her fault… he can find guys to talk to, to early in the game for all that! Tell him to kick rocks… b glad u aren’t married and have kids n all that! Marriage does not change a person, he will still want to talk to females forever, ru willing to handle that?
no. he is your issue, not her. why does he even have tinder? that should be where you start with this, not the fact that someone is messaging him. he put his profile there for women to find, he’s inviting women to speak to him in that way by being on tinder:woman_facepalming:
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You leave him, don’t message her. He is playing you.
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No you should be questioning him not her Jesus.
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He doesn’t really want to be with you he just doesn’t want to be honest and hurt you. Stop and part ways.
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He found the perfect excuse to text other women and hes got away with it hes laughing his head off
Contact her and talk to him about it and if you are still untrusting please consider him as your future
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You want to get married to this person yet you have zero trust towards him — sneaking through his phone, and even having to make a post on social media about your concerns. I’d say this isn’t the relationship for you.
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No don’t message the person sending him messages! He put himself on Tinder ( a dating site FYI)! Get your self esteem off the floor and get the hell out of this relationship. All you’re doing is showing him you’re prepared to put up with any crap he cares to throw your way just to hold onto him. He obviously doesn’t love you and definitely doesn’t respect you. Do you believe this will improve if you marry him?
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It’s not her fault. She didn’t make the commitment, she didn’t reach out to him. He made a commitment to you, then he made a Tinder and reached out to her. Your issue is with him and you need to address it with him, not with her. She is not responsible for managing your boyfriend.
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That is not okay! He is playing you! If I were you, I would leave. Because his attention is obviously on other women, & not you 
You deserve better!! 
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And seriously, please do not marry this dude. You can’t even contemplate it if he’s doing shit like this.
Sounds like it time for a new boyfriend
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If he is on tender why get engaged leave now u can find better
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I can’t imagine wanting to be engaged/married so bad that I’d overlook something that’s such a huge
You’re actually minimizing it as much as he is! Even tho you know and he knows you know it’s lies and BS. Yet he sees your willingness to tell yourself otherwise and be delusional.
Never like/love someone - anyone to the point you lie to yourself! This won’t be a real love/loving marriage, but a waste of your time, energy, love and peace of mind. Run.
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I think it’s a form of cheating you need to talk to him it’s not the girls fault it’s your mans fault 
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It’s not the girls fault it’s your soon to be fiancé fault. He made the account he gave her his number. Girl there’s plenty of red flags I’m sorry.
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