Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years ,it’s been rocky had a lot of ups and downs ,he would say I’m being biased and not giving the full information but I wanna cut to the reason I’m making this post ,a couple weeks ago we decided we were gonna engaged and were preparing I guess for that ,about a week later I found a note he wrote saying something’s in his life he wanted to improve and one of them was he wanted to talk to someone ,he wrote tinder ,long story short he ended up making a tinder messaging someone and now is texting them ,he told me the reason he wants to do this is because our comminication isn’t there in the area of him just having someone to talk to ,I know he’s not physically cheating on me ,but my question is this ,I went and snuck into his phone found the messages to said person and am wondering should I message this person and tell them like we are about to be engaged why are you messaging him ,he says he still wants to get engaged and that he’s not trying to replace me he just wants people to talk to about some of his interests that aren’t my interests,mind you so far in this conversation he hasn’t talked about any interests yet ,do I just leave it and not message her ? Do I message and then have him be angry idk what to do
So, you know how he feels, ne has communicated with you that he doesn’t feel like he can talk to you, and you’re going through his things, reading things he writes that obviously weren’t meant for you, and you trust him so much you’re going through his phone.
Do both of you a favor and leave him, so he can move forward with someone who appreciates a man that wants communication in his relationships.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I message the person who has been messaging my fiance on Tinder?
No, he’s cheating. You don’t go on tinder to find FRIENDS.
Dump his ass you are being taken for a ride!
Tinder is for fuxk boys lol looks like hes seeing what else is out there before he commits - need to say goodbye 2 this boy cos hes not a man lol
Girl, don’t waste your time. Bye BOY!!! Emphasis on BOY!! Best revenge is living well. It might hurt for a while but better than years.
Your issue is with him, not her. Tinder is for dating, right? Not friendship? I bet he’d change his tune real quick if you made one and started talking to other guys.
Tell her then dump him
Period… cheaterrrrr
I wouldn’t worry about msging them… ummm ur bf watever u wanna call him he is the one u should b questioning
- WHY DOES HE HAV A TINDER ACC
- HE IS CHEATING
You leave him. Don’t engaged to this man. She is absolutely not the problem. I’m sure she has no idea you exist.
I would 
But he’s cheating. Girl, leave! You’re worth SO much more.
Sounds like your worried about a girl and not the guy your about to marry. Read what you wrote. You just need a new man
Dear… throw the whole man away. He’s cheating and basically made you think he’s not and what he’s doing is ok. Move on girl. Don’t even waste your breath on this woman because im sure she isn’t the first and she damn sure won’t be the last… best of luck to you.
Leave the relationship. The end.
Wait 4 years together and you haven’t talked about interest yet?! Also he’s definitely probably talking about more than interest I mean can’t he join Reddit or a Facebook group to talk about interest like why tinder? That’s for dating
Don’t waste your time. He is not the one for you. Your focused on messaging this girl instead of looking at the bigger picture that this is a huge red flag to move on now.
Um. No. No to it all.
Cheating doesn’t have to include an orgasm.
Ummm what! Leave him
If he’s on Tinder, he’s definitely cheating or looking for someone to cheat with. Kick him to the curb girl. You’re worth more than that!
Girl you’re mad at the wrong person 
Leave he definitely cheating
No. He was upfront and told you he was messaging someone.
Why contact her?
Tinder isn’t for friendship lol he’s cheating and you’re falling for it…
Don’t be stupid, leave him now
I would leave that’s what I’d do
Nope you should get a new fiancé 
This literally has nothing to do with the girl. Your fiancé is the one who said he wanted to talk to someone else. And I totally agree TINDER is for dating not friendships. I’d run 
manipulation at its finest.
truthfuly of your fiance is being unfaithful the only person who you honestly have any right to corner is him. so why write to her at all. she is not the problem here. most women dont know that the guy they meet is attached and often the anger is all on the other woman and she is as much a victim as you are in this so put your self in her shoes and realize on top of being devastated for being played she gets cornered by the girlfriend… so I guss ask yourself what kind of a person are you? based on that answer you will realize whso to do. p.s. I would not go through with the wedding… once a cheat always a cheat. Just sayin.
I don’t know about the messaging thing, but what I DO know is I would NOT be getting engaged to this guy. He’s cheating. Even if it’s only mentally as of now. Tinder is known for “hookup app”.
Why are you with him? I’d leave. I definitely wouldn’t get engaged to him. 
Honey, she’s not the problem.
Well first off, you don’t marry him…
Don’t get engaged omg 
Why?? Why do you want to be with somebody who doesn’t respect you??? Listen to all of the warnings and get out.
Dear… WALK AWAY… Run if you have too
What nonsense is that… If the tables were turned would he accept it!!!
You are the only person he should be communicating too about interests etc… MY WORD… I would never allow this
You’re issue is with him, not her! Deal with him…cause even if you tell her and she ends it, he’ll just start up with someone else anyway.
my ex said the same shit. Not the girls fault. Your bring blind and kinda dumb by believing this. He’s just making an excuse to why he’s cheating !!
Dnt msg the girl just dump the guy…
It’s all in the 1st sentence… Ur fiance is on tinder 
I do not even have words
No message your f’n fiancé what’s wrong with you???
The issue isn’t with the girl/girls he is messaging. The issue is with your man wanting to be on tinder to have someone to “talk to”
I you don’t trust him at the start it won’t get better… you will always doubt him. Move on your wasting your life. He’s Poly.
Nobody joins tinder to just talk… If he needs to talk to someone, there’s this thing called a therapist. He could also talk to his friends and family.
Also you can’t message that person asking them why are they talking to him when he made the account and reached out.
Break up and kick him to the curb…
Tinder is not to look for someone to talk to. Please say,
NEXT!
You can’t be with somebody you don’t trust. Sounds like he’s very immature
My husband and I don’t have all the same interests. He isn’t talking to other females on dating sites.
Don’t even bother 
it’s not some girl on tinder’s fault, he’s a tool….
Message her for what, your battle is with your supposed man.
Message her
Tell her know their secret
Then put his stuff into garbage bags , toss them outside and change the locks
Chances are he is cheating on you
She may not know he’s prob lying to both of you just saying. Message her if u want but the issue is your man putting himself out there
He needs to find friends. Tinder is not the place to make friends, unless he is planning on communicating with his penis.
You need to take it up with him, not her. That’s just a piss poor excuse for him to talk to another woman. I wouldn’t be planning a future with a man like that.
Wow yall really be stup!d AF just to have a partner
If you marry him, this will be your life. He may or may not be physically cheating but he’s an emotional cheater and that hurts just as much.
The fact that he even has tinder 
My man wouldn’t have Tinder in the first place 
Oh hunny… think about this. She is messaging him because HE made a tinder profile!! He put himself out there as single and ready to mingle. She probably knows nothing about you. If you guys don’t have similar interests and he says he can’t talk with you about things, it’s time to let this one go. It doesn’t sound like he’s ready for a commitment, even after four years. It sounds to me like you are a convenience rather than anything. Best of luck to you!
U don’t trust him.
You shouldn’t need to li9k thru his phone and he should have mates to talk to not strangers thru a dating app.
So ur gonna get mad at the girl because of what ur fiance is hiding??? Girl make it make sense because it really doesn’t. Walk away from the dude and let him do what he wants
Leave girl just run out of there before is too late
Have you bumped your head? Don’t message that other female, deal with the boy who obviously has zero respect for you and I sincerely hope you’re not serious about getting engaged after his shit-show.
The girl least of your worries hun show yourself some respect and move on wtf does this !!@@
But he is cheating. Even if it’s not physical it’s emotional. I’d be mad too. And why does it have to be a female he wants to connect with. Why not his guy friends?!
Yes. That can’t go wrong at all.
He is on tinder he is going to get messages that’s why he’s on it … why message the one messaging him I’d be more concerned with if you are together why he’s on tinder
It’s not her fault honey, message his ass and tell him you’re going to message her and see how that conversation goes
Red flag with him! If he really wanted to improve some things, he would actually care and improve his relationship with you. This has “I want to really be single but want you at bay because your comfortable to me. I’ll waste many more years of your life” written all over it.
There are other places to find people to “just talk to”… Tinder is not one of them. She personally is not relevant, he will just find someone else. He obviously wants his ego stroked… And probably something else as well. Don’t marry him unless you’re prepared to put up with him cheating on you.
This is not a good relationship.
…& you don’t see the redflags?! Find a man who truly loves you. He obviously doesn’t.
Why are you trying to talk to this person on tinder when you should talk to him about it? Makes no sence
Why is he on Tinder in the first place?
I know what to do, stop being stupid… Leave him cuz people like that do not change until they’re ready to change for the person they really love. If he really loved you he wouldn’t be doing it in the first place
Okay HES the one on tinder, why would you question HER for messaging him if he’s on that hookup app? Run girl💀
He absolutely is cheating. Leave him. If he’s doing this to you now, he will do it later. Read the red flags and get out.
Leave him! Thats messed up!
I can’t believe this even needs to be a question. The guy will cheat on you eventually. You let this slide now and it will escalate. Nuff said.
This is a huge red flag. Do not message the person. You boyfriend could have told this person he was single. If communication isn’t great, then he needs to work on it with you not seek someone else! He wants his cake and eat it too! Hell no!
Maybe he needs a poly relationship
Girl what? Lmao hell no. Boy BYE!
You don’t need to message her. He put himself out there. Why would he plan on marrying you if he has to find someone else to talk to about his interests.
Definitely not the girls fault, it’s your boyfriend, he’s not done being single. Find some self respect and leave him. It will just keep happening.
Girl…wth does the man even have Tinder if he has you. He needs to reevaluate or walk.
The fuck? This is a serious question?
… he’s looking for your replacement. Period. That’s the only reason to be on a dating app. He can find people to confide in at work… y’all can network together and make friends y’all both trust… But instead, he’s looking to desperate women on a dating app? Yeah no.
Didn’t even read this. The first and last sentence is all that’s needed. Ya need to leave.
Dump his ass. Emotional affairs is where it’s at nowadays!!! But no. Just take him back. Get married and pretend you’re happy.
You pack your things and go girl. He already left the relationship a while ago.
So prove him wrong… tell him you don’t have to be interested in doing the same things as he does 100% of the time…but you can still listen to him talk about them… my boyfriend and I have different interests than each other we can still talk to each other and listen to each other talk about them…
Tinder is a dating/hookup site… not a site for chit chat…
Leave him. Emotional cheating is just as bad.
A cheater never admits that it’s his fault. And most likely a cheater will continue to cheat. Get out while you can. All that stuff he is telling you is just to cover up.
i swear some of these posts aren’t real
We all know Tinder is for one thing and one thing only. And it’s not for discussing hobbies…get out now.
I can’t believe that you are ignorant enough to write this in fakebook without being completely embarrassed by how silly you are by playing his game.
Release him to the streets. He talks a good game but seems to be looking for options.
Good grief…he has you falling for that old spiel hook line and sinker. Nah…at this point you throw the whole man away and leave the women in his inbox alone. He has probably already cheated and well on his way with another one and will continue to do so.
Fuc* him!! Leave his as*!! He is basically telling you that you and him don’t have a lot of the same things in common/interests so he needs to talk to another female. He don’t want to be committed to you. What a dirt bag.
He’s f**ked run while you have the chance.Gross.