Should I put my childs father on the birth certificate?

Never put his name on it …unless you marry him…will come back to haunt you causes lots of problems

1 Like

Girl. Don’t. Do it.
Raise that baby by yourself !

Claim that child support… Although in moat places he has to be there to sign the birth certificate.

1 Like

Claim child support with A DNA test

4 Likes

If it’s only for money most definitely not because that will just bite you in the ass.

His rights don’t change either way.may as well get the child support.

4 Likes

Just let it go I left my ex he beat me while I was 16 weeks pregnant and said he wanted the baby to die and Rot inside me he didnt want him so he went to jail and I left hes not on the birth certificate and I dont get child support my child is my world and I would rather not get child support then potentially give him the power to hurt my son

3 Likes

Definitely wipe ur hands

1 Like

He would have to sign the birth certificate you can’t just put him on it. You can still get child support later down the line and he can still file for visitation putting him on the birth certificate immediately won’t really impact anything either of you try to do later on.

1 Like

You have to trust your gut on this one. It was a 4 week fling, he knows the outcome, he knows your choice. If he DOES man up later I whole heartedly believe he should have rights but he can pay for it. He can pay to prove he is the father. I am all for fathers who want to be involved. I am all for giving kids the best opportunities to have 2 parents but I also know from experience in my past how a man just walks away and never has an obligation to a child. Men who literally do nothing and then another man steps up to try and adopt said man’s child and they can’t because all of a sudden the court makes this baby daddy become involved or sign his rights over and just out of spite so many men choose to “step up” but then they don’t show up. Or they show up a handful of times and then stop and the child is confused and wondering what they did wrong. It’s a hard situation. Your a mama already, what does your heart tell you to do?. Sometimes you have to trust that first instinct. Not overthink it and not let people put their opinions in your head.

3 Likes

In Texas, his name doesn’t have to be on the bc in order to file for child support.

However if you get medicaid for the child, they will require your cooperation to file on him so they can recoup their funds.

1 Like

If he is on the certificate you’ll need him to sign for things such as a passport ect

I believe ever child needs to know their parents … don’t hide the truth , doesn’t mean you can’t move forward the both of you … Best of luck on your new chapter , your going to be so happy ,don’t dwell on the pass let it go …it will make you a better Mom

1 Like

Men keep doing this because women allow them to, they make a baby they need to be responsible. You are also making a decision to keep a child apart from their father, a decision they can make on their own when they are older.

My oldest is 9, dad is NOT on the birth certificate and he has to pay child support. We established DNA and thats it. He can take you to court for rights but in oklahoma (I dunno where you are) that doesn’t automatically give them custody or visitation

1 Like

Wipe your hands of him.

2 Likes

I think you need to make it about your child do you think they would want the name on the certificate? Put him on the certificate just means what it says Biological father won’t impact your life. Makes you a better Mum then there are not questions and implications down the track!!

If you want child support them yes. A child has the right to his/her father. Its not the child fault they were born.

1 Like

I dealt with this other than him telling me to abort he just decided he wanted nothing to do with her . 1st you can’t put a father on a birth certificate with out them being present . Also if he’s not on the birth certificate it would be a long court process for him to try to get any rights keep everything , every message of him saying he wants nothing to do with the baby and to abort it, it will help in the end if he tries to go to court to try. I also gave my daughter father a year to come around before I made a decision about wiping my hands clean of the drama with him and raise her by myself .

3 Likes

Wipe your hands clean, small price for happy healthy you and baby

Girl, leave him be. He doesn’t want it so he shouldn’t be “forced” to take care of it.

It’s the same as when a woman wants an abortion. She is able to choose, men should be able to choose too.

Leave him off the birth certificate.

2 Likes

In Florida, I wasn’t able to put fathers name down, cuz he wasn’t there……

Oh I’d claim support but he wouldn’t be listed as daddy

Save any and all communications. Document them meaning print them all off and file them. This way you have physical proof of his wishes and actions. Even if he texts you for a hookup.
You just never know the journeys you will take in the future. If down the road he wants to try for custody or whatever else, you will have all communication documented. You must always cover your own back. That aside, you do what you feel is right for you. He will do what is right for him. Protect yourself and your baby. If you don’t NEED him in your life then don’t have him. Just remember your child may NEED him for something in the future. Maybe just some medical information. Ya never know.

Forget about him. Don’t take anything from him. Just wash your hands and raise your kid without him

5 Likes

He puts himself on the birth certificate with a valid ID. Like, he has to be present for it.

As an adoptee, I would put his name on the birth certificate for the CHILD’S purpose, later on. They have a right to know their other bloodline if they should so ever choose.

1 Like

First, you can’t put a man on the birth certificate, he has to sign an acknowledgment of paternity document to be put on the birth certificate.
Next, try to get him to relinquish his parental rights. Just not putting him on the birth certificate isn’t really helping anything. He can come along years down the line and decides he wants to be a father. Or God forbid if something happens to you, if he proves he’s the father then he can take the child.

2 Likes

I think you should give it more time before you decide. Your only 12 weeks and a lot can happen in 6 months. He may just need more time to get his head around it. Yes your relationship failed but your child deserves the chance to know its father. Personally I would wait until the baby is born and see what happens before you decide.

2 Likes

Well I would say that you did your job by informing him that he has a child on the way and that was his response was so if I was you I would change my number block him on social media and on any legal documentation just put that you don’t know who the father is or leave the father space on the birth certificate blank because clearly he does not want to have anything to do with you or the child because it would complicate whatever he has going on at home. Later down the line if he wants to figure out about his child then he’s going to have to work for it. Don’t even try to collect child support just leave it alone and leave him alone he’s the one that’s going to regret this someday not you you did your job by informing him that he has a child on the way

2 Likes

It’s illegal not too.

Wipe them
Hands clean.

2 Likes

Forget the father of ur baby.
He has no respect for u if he said the word abortion.
But, do claim full independence on ur income tax… and make him pay child support!!!

He has to put himself on it. You cant just add him

I suggest you just leave him be but other part as some of these ladies have said the unborn baby deserve to know who their bio dad is.

I would get him for child support.

1 Like

It doesn’t matter if you collect CS but that’s your choice. But your child has a right to know and not to look at a blank on his birth certificate. My daughter had a child at 18 and she chose not to put the dad’s name. To this day my daughter and we regret it. Our granddaughter knows why but it still stings. Your child has that right. Imo

3 Likes

Wipe hands clean, do not ask for child support because he made it very clear he does not want the child and you knew this was a fling and it’s your choice to bring this child into the world regardless. Adding him to the BC will give him rights so leave it blank. Don’t force a person to be around if they don’t want to.

2 Likes

Wash your hands of him.

This isn’t just about you anymore . Put it on the BC …whether he has anything to do with he/she or not

Honestly dont but tell your child when they are old enough who it is if they ask you. Let the child make the decision if they want contact. Also if you go for CS he will have rights medically and if you want to move states. Final thing is he has made it clear he doesn’t want the child probably because of him getting back with his ex she probably doesn’t even know about you I wouldn’t mess with that situation.

If you’re not married you fill out an acknowledgment of paternity at the hospital, if he’s not there—you can just say you’re not sure who the father is. If you want to start child support they WILL do a paternity test before you get support.

1 Like

I didnt, but depending on the state, if you take them for child support, a DNA will be done and they will get put on the bc

He can later go on to pursue parental rights regardless of whether you put him on the birth certificate or not. Not putting him on there isn’t a permanent cease of parental rights for him. However, a lot of states will require the father to be there at the birth to sign an acknowledgement of paternity in order for him to be on the birth certificate. If you do end up wanting to file for child support, you will have to get a court mandated paternity test first, and then he’ll be put on the birth certificate and have rights to pursue custody and such. I’d say this is the general rule of thumb for unwed parents, but it differs state to state. Definitely look into your state laws :slight_smile: I will say that I did leave my ex and I have been doing everything solo since 8 weeks pregnant. I have been lucky enough not to need state aide, but be aware that in a lot of states, you won’t qualify for help unless you cooperate with child support services. My best advice is look into the laws, and evaluate what might be the best options going forward for you and baby. Doing things on your own without any child support or state aide is 100% possible, but also depends on what kind of job and support system you will have in place. Good luck, hun. You got this.

1 Like

No… you get your baby and yourself a clean slate , without him .

I applaud you for your choice of not aborting. You will be an amazing mother :heart: Forget him. New Facebook profile , new accounts on all, new emails, new phone and. If you … Clean slate.

He doesn’t deserve that joy in his life

1 Like

He told you to abort… how is this even a question??:woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:

2 Likes

Walk away. Don’t name him. You’ll forever be under his grip if you do.

4 Likes

Wash your hands sis. Save your self the heartache stress!

1 Like

Hell no put baby in your last name

1 Like

That’s tough. Deadbeats run rampant all over the place. If you know he isn’t going to be apart of your child’s life then wash your hands of it. You never know down the road what can come of it but for your peace of mind and your baby’s … move forward. You don’t need the stress nor the frustration that goes along with men like that.

1 Like

His name doesn’t have to be on the certificate to get child support . So give your name and get support for the baby . You will have to take blood test no matter what anyone says .

I would say no bc I don’t believe in forcing fatherhood. it was an unplanned pregnancy and he’s expressed he does t want a baby. you do want the baby and want to become a mother which is great applause for you x a million.

2 Likes

It will come to you, and only you to make that decision… Don’t let negative comments get your mind and heart twisted…

1 Like

My daughter dad not on the bc and she nearly 3 he hasn’t even bothered with her. He didn’t want a child but turns out he already got 11 kids and that including my daughter and she the only girl and the rest are boys. If you not with him don’t put his name down .

No dont even tell him let him think you aborted or its not his seriously from experience dont do it it will bite you in the ass later

I had 3 children and only named 1 father, the other 2 I left blank. In 18 years I only got 3 solid years of support from him, so naming baby daddy doesn’t guarantee a thing, and I’ve often wished I’d left them all blank to be honest…
He’s told you where he’s at and you’ve decided to move forward so the baby is yours, period. Wash your hands of it and move forward, a better role model is out there, I’m sure of it :wink:

2 Likes

He used you, drag his ass through hell. Claim that child support

Don’t put him on it. If he gives a damn, he can fight for it later

I was in the same exact boat with my son. I didn’t put his real dad on the birth certificate. He is now about to be 3 and his dad has met him once when he was 3 months old. He doesn’t even contact me to check on him. I gave him my last name and I don’t regret it one single bit. He’s so much better off without him and now he has a step father who is practically his real dad they have the most amazing bond I’ve ever witnessed. My point is things will work out for you. You don’t need him. You can do better for you and that precious baby!!!

2 Likes

Hell no! Act like he was “aborted” and move on headache free girl! Let that be the last thing in the back of your mind when he tries to reach out later down the road!

My son is now 6. Sweet daddy wanted him aborted to. Having look back since🦾 HIS LOSS!

1 Like

Abort him no name no contact he has no baby

1 Like

Can’t put him on w/o his signature

1 Like

All your dession but I wouldn’t

Doesn’t matter if you put him on there or not the only Way he will get rights is if a judge will decide he gets rights and that’s not going to happen so your good

1 Like

Wipe your hands clean, walk away! If he wants it, make him fight for it. If he doesnt, he doesnt deserve to be in the baby’s life

4 Likes

Omg please don’t do it!!! You will end up regretting it later

3 Likes

I live in Denver Colorado and if you want the father’s name to be on the birth certificate he has to be there at the hospital when u fill out the bc info or go to the bc office once you’ve filed and pay to sign a new printed one you can’t do it for him, I don’t kno if that’s how your state works.

If you’re not together and he’s not going to be an intricate part of raising this child NO

3 Likes

To legally acknowledge him as the father he has to sign the birth certificate willingly so if he told you to abort him, I’d tell him to kiss my ass and just raise that sweet baby yourself. If he wants something to do with the child on down the road you can have a paternity test done to establish who the father of the child is and then add him to the birth certificate & pursue child support then.

I wouldn’t bother putting him on the birth certificate. He wanted you to abort so he obviously doesn’t want it. You can still claim child support without him being on the birth certificate.

4 Likes

Consider carefully whether you can adequately care for your child on your own without child support. Children raised in poverty are more likely to live in poverty throughout their lives.

2 Likes

If he told u to get rid of the baby…i definitely would not do it unless he asked u to after u find out his motives for why…dont do it and save urself the trouble . he feels like its not his anyway…so its now all yours…keep it that way

2 Likes

If he were to pass away before child reached age 18, it would be very difficult (if not impossible) to get survivor social security benefits for the child if father’s name not on there and you don’t have proof of relationship.

Well if you ever want child support whether or not he’d ever in the picture sadly he’ll need to be on the birth certificate… if you don’t want or need the support and he doesn’t want to be apart then don’t do it… just hopefully one day when and I say when cause it’ll happen 100% when your child is ready to search and meet the dad hopefully he’s not a scumbag anymore and will actually try for a relationship

Don’t put him on the birth certificate!

It’s not about you or the father, it’s about the child. The child has a right to know who both parents are.

3 Likes

Woah. I can’t believe how many people are saying don’t put the father of the child’s name on the birth certificate. Yes. He’s still the child’s father. You have a lot of more weeks to go and you shouldn’t base this on emotions. Be an adult, and think about your child years from now.

2 Likes

No you don’t legally have to put the fathers name on the birth certificate he quite clearly doesn’t want to know. In most places the father has to present to be put on it anyway. I would check if that is the case for your area.

A big fat No , if you do & you meet someone who loves you and your child, you might never be able to change his /her name , even though the father has nothing to do with the child, you will need his permission , so don’t do it

I wouldn’t put him on it.

I maybe the only one that thinks this but yea you should. It’s not about him it’s about your baby. I was in the same situation with my first son and I made the decision to put him on it so I can show my son when his older. Instead of it saying father unknown, I didn’t want my son to think I didn’t know who his dad was.
The guy may change his mind when the baby arrives. He might just need time to process it.
Do what’s best for your baby and if he doesn’t want anything to do with him or her you can still go for child support.

3 Likes

Listen you laid in bed with him. Your child has the right to know who.the father is put his name on the cert

3 Likes

Yes. For child support

2 Likes

Please do not give the baby his last name… I also wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate. He could sue you for custody later on…

Im sorry you are going through this. But I wouldn’t abort unless you also wanted the abortion. As for the birth certificate im not sure what to do, I mean if he doesn’t want it and you don’t want them on the birth certificate you could always leave it blank. Hope it gets better momma

I gave my children my last name not their father’s and I took care of them both never asked for anything if I received it great if not oh well never depend on anyone but yourself

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I put my childs father on the birth certificate?

Since you’re not married you can give the baby you last name and still list the father on the BC, which I would do because if something happens to the POS the child is entitled to his SS and part of his estate

4 Likes

Just don’t put him on. It’s easier that way. You won’t need to split custody, go to courts, attorneys, etc. It’s stressful.

You got this all on your own!

1 Like

I’d just say leave him off and just count him as just a sperm donor. You got a blessing out of it. He don’t deserve to have the title of being the father

1 Like

If he aint man enough to be a papa then fudge him, it will be his loss, when the time comes be ready to answer those questions with your baby until then enjoy and love baby. This is said with love from a papaz point of view…an nah to the BC

1 Like

I don’t know where you live, but in my state, the father must be present and give permission to put his name on the birth certificate. If he told you to abort, I would forget him and be thrilled at YOUR new bundle of joy. Don’t ask him for anything and never allow him to be a part of the baby’s life.

3 Likes

My daughters father said to get an abortion. I kept her. I send occasional pictures and updates. Other than that :woman_shrugging: my little bundle of joy turns 3 next month and we have been fine on our own. It’s hard doing it alone. But it’s his loss

I wouldn’t put him on anything. You’re gonna be raising it on your own. Will be easier for him to be gone then have a dead beat baby daddy

I’m an adult who does not have my father on their birth certificate as they chose not to be a part of my life. My mum found it easy to get me a passport, enrol me into school and many other things without having to track down someone who didn’t want to be involved anyway or try and jump through additional hoops. Only you can make the final decision

9 Likes

Idk what state you’re in but in Illinois if he doesn’t sign the VAP (voluntary acknowledgement of paternity) you can’t put his name on the birth certificate. Once the baby is born, and a DNA test is done in court then their name is added to the b.c. but that doesn’t give him rights.

You are going to receive a lot of opinions. Hear them out and take the best advice that fits your and your child needs and what is best for you and your child.

I gave my daughters dad the choice, either you’ll be there and active in her life or don’t and I won’t even hit you for child support. I told him if he’s in and out of her life, we’ll be going to court. But he’s been around and active in her life, and we share 50/50 without ever having to go to court for anything. He’s on her birth certificate because he finally showed up after being MIA my whole pregnancy when I went into labor.

My opinion… every child should have a full and completed birth certificate. It’s a document that will be used for generations when tracing lineage.

5 Likes

I personally would not add him.He sounds like a real jerk to me.The baby should have your last name