My kiddos have these two friends that are over pretty often. They prefer being at my house than their own because their parents do not get along and are in the process of divorcing. Well, sometimes when they are here their mom will drop off food to them, like fast food. But she does not bring anything for my kids. I want to say something to her about not doing this, or taking them home and having them eat because I feel that it is unfair for them to eat fast food in front of mine. Should I? When I buy food or candy, I make sure to buy enough for everyone to shareâŚso i feel like thats what she should do as well.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I say something to my kids friends mom? - Mamas Uncut
If you are close enough to her maybe you could offer to Venmo her some extra and she can bring it to all of the kids
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Damn she just trying to feed her kids
Yes. You should. Communication for understanding is this first step.
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Sounds like the kids are going through enough. And her, a divorce has to be one of the hardest things someone goes through. Personally, Iâd let it be.
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I would have the convo and be like either being enough for everyone or donât bring at at all. If sheâs only going to feed her kids, then she needs to pick them up and feed them. Why are people like this??
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Donât make such a big deal around toxic food as comfort for your children either.
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Send her cash app for your kids.
Iâd definitely say something. The way I feel is if kids are in my home I treat them as my own and never not include them in meals or things from the corner store. I would communicate with her and let her know you give her kids whatever you get for your kids when their over so if sheâs going to be buying them food to please have them go home to eat as itâs not fair to your kids. My son is always at his friends house and his mom always feeds him even if she gets take out. Same way when heâs with us.
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Talk to her. Because maybe she feels bad thinking you might get upset about feeding her kids when theyâre there.
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Maybe she canât afford to buy food for hers plus yours⌠does that mean she shouldnât feed her kids or have her kids hang out with yours ?? Atleast sheâs feeding her own kids and not expecting you to feed hers.
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Sheâs feeding HER kids đ sheâs going through a divorce right now maybe she doesnât have the extra money to feed YOUR kids as well.
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I would say itâs unfair for her to bring for her kids when they eat in front of yours. So if she wants to bring them food she needs to bring everybody food. Especially since her kids are basically living at your house lol
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Ya if you do for 1 you do for all thatâs how Iâve always thought it should be
Sometimes ppl need an angel and you just donât seem to have it in you so say something and mess it up
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Honestly, I would let it go ONLY because she may get mad at you (people get mad and offended over weird shit) and then not let her kids over to your house.
It sounds like the kids are going through a lot, I personally would not say anything, and when she brings fast food for her kids, Iâd just go get fast food for mine too, then get all the kiddos like ice cream.
Communication is key 
Yes you are right If kids come to my house and my kids want so ething if I didnât ha e enough for all the kids then mine didnât get it either.
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I would let it be. Her kiddos need a safe space right now.
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These kids are already.going through a lot. And she is also probably struggling. If you want her to bring enough for everyone then ask if you can cashapp her so she can bring enough. Would you rather she expect you to feed her kids while they are there all the time
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Yes tell her as times ⌠people do not always think i have learned to ask questions and start there ! As i am not. Certain you realize how my children feel upet or let down when you do not include them ?
I would talk to her⌠My daughter came home from her dadâs this week and said they went out to eat and when they left they brought her step brother food at his friends house⌠And when I said that was nice she mentioned that they only brought him food and not the friend and I was a little taken aback⌠I mean itâs not a huge deal but the kids probably think it is and for that reason I would probably say somethingâŚ
Sounds like sheâs bringing her kids food so they donât eat all of your food?
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When she comes with fast food say I assumed you will be going home to eat that looks at her and small never to late to teach them manners she should get the hint how rude
I was taught as a child and I have taught my children and my grandchildren and now my great grandchildren that if you donât have enough to share donât get it out and then I told them if you donât have enough to share donât bring it in the house. If that sounds mean then I guess Iâm being mean but thatâs the way I was raised.
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Its rude to bring food to someoneâs house and not have enough for everyone. If itâs a matter of not being able to afford it then maybe you can work out her picking up a paid for order when getting her kids food.
You cant get mad at ppl for not doing what you would do tbh
Iâve never had any of my kids parents drop off food for their kids, thatâs what sounds off tbh⌠they are in my house Iâll make sure to keep their food holes are full 
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She might not be able to afford it for all the kids and is trying to drop her kids off food so that itâs not a burden on you so thatâs actually pretty thoughtful of her. But sheâs not thinking about how it sucks for your kids to have to sit and watch them eat it. I would tell her to feed her kids when they leave. Or I would tell her to throw in some food for your kids and youâll give her the money.
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Mention it to her, but remember her finances maybe very tight right now
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Your kids also need to learn that itâs ok to not have what others have. People donât have to share just because other people exist near them. Sharing is SUPPOSED to be an act of love and kindness, not obligation. Push sharing too much and youâll have adults that get walked all over.
Also do you offer to feed the kids? If not then shhhhh your face. Sheâs just trying to be responsible for her own children that she and her husband drove out of the house. Theyâre going through a lot right now, and all youâre thinking about is yourself and your family. Yuck!
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Logic would say âif youâre going to buy for one, then buy for allâ I wonât even buy a drink when Iâm going to visit people without atleast asking if theyâd like something too.
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My rule is if there isnât enough for anyone theyâre not allowed to eat it. If they want to they can go home and eat it. I hate seeing my kids want what the others have under my roof. My house. My rules. Regardless of the situation. Because itâs totally not fair for your kids to watch the other kids. If she wants to keep doing that she can have her kids to go home and eat. Then come back and play when theyâre done. So your kids wonât feel left out or forgotten. Itâs unfair.
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Use it as a teaching moment for your kids. Explain both sides, maybe she canât afford food for all or maybe sheâs trying to do something for her kids to show them that they are still important in the midst of the mess. Also point out to your kids that you understand itâs upsetting when others get something and they donât and in the future they should try to be considerate to everyone.
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Is she paying you to watch them, if so itâs a job. If sheâs not ask her to pick your kids up some also and give her the $ for it.
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Ifdevorc you can afford it let it go.kids may not get to eat much. And a divorce .they may be better off at your house.
Maybe she canât afford all the kids? Or she just doesnât think that far. Talk with her about it?
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Buy your own kids food - just like she does
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Ask her to let you know when sheâs going to do this, so you can chip in and your kids can have some too if thatâs what you want, but no you shouldnât expect her to feed your kids.
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I donât think she is singling your Littles out donât worry. It could be money issues too
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I see it as sheâs providing for her kids. Iâm sure youâd still ask if she wasnât âwhy am I always feeding her kids?â
She has alot on her plate so the choice of food isnât her priority just as long as theyâre eating. Your issue with the choice of food may not be the right thing right now
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Are you serious? Her kids are going through alot right now and your worried about the fast food? Go get your kids fast food if youâre so bothered by it. You have no idea of she can afford to get extra or not
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I think these kids are going through a lot and thatâs still some way for them to get âcomfortâ with their mother while in this process. Honestly Iâd allow it, plus you donât know at all what her expenses are, how much $$ has or anything.
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I would say something but in a very polite non judgement way. I feel she is trying to be nice and bring them food so they donât eat all of yours but at the same time she should be aware of how it make you feel because it is unfair to your children. Never bring anything to someone elseâs house unless there is enough for everyone
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I would talk to her. The kids are already at your house. If they want fast food they can go home and come back.
Even as an adult I have never been over someoneâs house and eaten in front of them, or them eat and no offer me something.
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If thereâs not enough for all then there is not enough for any! Itâs not ok or fair n I would say something.
Yep i would say something.
Say something NOW!!! It would not have happened but once at my house and she would have took them home that day!!!
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I think sheâs not trying to burden you with having to feed her children as well as let them hang at your house. Maybe give her some extra cash to bring your kids something too. Divorce is stressful and Iâm sure sheâs grateful her kids have a safe place at your home and sheâs doing her best by trying to at least feed them while theyâre with you. Cut her some slack.
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I would say something but you wouldnât think that you should even have to. Even if you ask her to take turns buying the fast food to help with the cost.
I would just ask her to let me know when sheâs bringing food, so I could pay for my own kids. It sounds like sheâs trying to make it easier on you by not having to feed her children and she seems grateful for letting her kids play at your house. Youâre being a good person!
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Ask her to let you know when she does that and be like âcan you grab ⌠for mine and I will pay you back?â Or let me know when your coming so I can make sure my kid eats beforehand
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AGREE 100% I would say something about it but thatâs me
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Talk to the mother,shes not thinking clearly!!
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Definitely talk to her
Call Uber eats or grub hub for your kids
Definitely say something. That mom is very rude. I wouldnât allow my kids to have their feelings hurt because of something an adult should know better than doing.
Yes, you should say something. I know I would. Just explain it to her in a way that if your kids wonât be fed when you drop them off, let me know and I will make enough food for them too, so they all eat the same thing. Politely mention if she wants to help you with groceries, it would be most appreciated. Every kid loves fast food. Fair has nothing to do with it. It is not the right thing to do. When I would pick my daughter up at cheerleading practice and we would stop at Starbucks, I always bought for the friend I may be giving a ride home to. Never questioned it.
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I would let it be. When things like this happen w my kids i always say âjust cause so and so gets something doesnât mean you doâ that goes for many different scenarios. I would just make my kid something separate and they could all eat together. I think itâs nice that she actually brings food for them rather then assuming you will feed them you know?
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Good god some of these comments 
if my child was round a friends house and I had bought a takeaway Iâd request my kid be sent home to eat it or if I had enough money Iâd ask if the friends wanted some too thatâs common courtesy as an adult fgs
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Honestly if it makes you feel that bad ask her to leave money and you go pick up food for your kids and hers
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Ask that she feed them before they come or take them home to feed them. That way your kids donât feel left out in their own home.
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I would probably say something, but it only be to ask her to take her kiddos home to eat fast food, then they could come back. I wouldnât ask her to buy your kids food to make it fair. Only that they leave to eat the fast food then can come back when they are done
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If sheâs going through a divorce, she may not have the money to pick up food for all the kids. Buying a candy bar or a bag of chips for half a dozen kids is a little different than a full fast food meal. You can get 6 bags of chips or 6 candy bars for less than $10. Fast food meals are like $10 a piece.
I understand that the kids donât want to be at home because of whatâs going on there, but have a conversation with her about it, in private. Explain to her how youâre feeling and let her know that if the kids are at your house, they can have dinner with you and your family. If she wants to take them to dinner, get them dinner or make them dinner, then they can go home to eat and come back after if they want.
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I donât expect people to do for my kids, no matter what I do for mine or theirs.
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NO. She is thoughtful enough to get her own kids food while theyâre guests at YOUR house.
Get your own kids food if you donât like it.
Sheâs actually being very kind providing her kids food while over there so you dont have to feed them.
Thatâs so petty to worry about.
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She might feel guilty for her kids donât want to come home but she might not have enough money for all of them just talk to her but pleasedont make her mad the kids have a safe place
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Maybe sit and talk with her letting her know you donât mind the kids being there as you know they are going through a hard time and even if she needs someone to talk to she can come to you, but maybe with the money she is spending on fast food she could maybe give it to you for you to buy more food to make for dinner. I get she may not be able to afford to get everyone something but fast food is pricey and the amount she is spending could go to you to make healthier options and make enough for everyoneâs bellyâs to be full including her children.
Did she talk to you or make arrangements for her kids to be there all the time? This shouldâve been something discussed before constantly happening. But I donât see a problem bringing it up.
We never allow fast food unless there enough for everyoneâŚ
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You would be bitching if you had to feed them too. Would you be making a big deal if she packed them a lunch. No. Whatâs it matter what her kids eat.
I would just tell the kids they need to go home and eat their dinner and when they r done they can come back and donât let them ask why just be really assertive
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Uncommunicated expectations will just lead to problems. Either offer money if she picks something up for your kids too next time or talk to her. People are not mind readers and she shouldnât be expected to get your kids food.
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If her kid is at yours all the time she is probably feels guilty you having to feed her kid all the time ? Tell her prior u will feed her kid so she doesnât feel obligated to bring him dinner would u feel the same way if she bought over home cooked food? I think itâs rude but remember not everyone is raised the same are your kids really missing out that much? Stay humble
Maybe she knows home isnât nice rn and sheâs trying to feed her kids and not burden u w that
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She may not have the money and also doesnât want you to have to feed them
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Yes. I would tell her just what you wrote.
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If they are over there when she does this tell them to go home and eat and they can come back when theyâre done. I think itâs extremely tacky that she doesnât offer to get your kids something when her kids are there a lot. She may also know how stressed out her house is so sheâs trying to delay them coming home. Either way she should be communicating with you and at least offering
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Everyone sees things differently maybe she could give you the money so you can buy for all
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Sheâs wrong. Id always send a pizza or two to feed everyone. Tell her to feed them before they come over cuz there are more than just her kids.
I have to wonder if the people saying that itâs a small thing that should be overlooked have children. The lady wouldnât like it if it were the other way around I bet. Kidâs feelings matter a lot.
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I would definitely say something but you donât have to be ugly just let her know that if she drops food off let it be enough for both of yâallâs kids. Or politely tell her when itâs time for her kids to eat she can come pick them up and feed them fast food at her house
Talk to her and communicate but, be prepared that she might not have the money to buy all the kids food as money may be tight at the moment because of the divorce.
Just be respectful and mindful.
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Send them home before dinner. Donât say anything just no visitors at dinner
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Of course you should politely say something .
Absolutely address it
The kids are already going through so much at home. Mom sounds like she is trying to take care of her kids and not expect you to feed them since their over at your house often. Explain thingâs to your kidâs on why she brings for her kiddos and not yours. She also may not have a lot of extra money to bring for everyone. I wouldnât stop a child from seeking refuge at my house because their momma was buying them food and not mine, nor would I make a big deal about it.
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I mean I think itâs nice sheâs not expecting you to feed her children. But I would ask she take them home at meal times.
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Stupid thing to be mad about. Your kids shouldnât feel any type of way about it if you raised them right.
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Let it go. The reason maybe the parent is doing this for their kids is they feel you might think your taking advantage of their situation and that they going through divorce is not feeding their kids. Share or donât share thatâs on you. If you canât handle for sure talk to the parent and tell that parent to feed kids first somewhere not your house before going to your house.
If I was her, I would just give a $20 bill to chip in on food , or if I was you , I would suggest it to her.
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Jessica Christian sheâs going through a divorce⌠Maybe she canât afford the extra if I knew the situation about the divorce and everything I would want to keep the kids out of drama the can eat whatever they want at my house if mom brought it whatever I then would ask my lil what she would like and order it not expect the mom to buy my kid food too
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Sounds like the best place for the kids to be is at your house. I totally understand the issue about the food but the bigger picture needs to be seen. Maybe share the fast food and supplement with home cooked food so no one feels left out? Iâd let the kids stay as long as they wanted. Iâve learned to do that the hard way.
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who does that 
super strange behaviour lol
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I would say something. 
Itâs really not cool to do that when other kids are around. Tell her EXACTLY what you told us.
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Everyone is different but I never eat in front of someone unl3ss I have some to offer too! Same goes with my kids, if I get them food on the way to someoneâs house I always tell them to eat it before we get there coz weâre not taking it in unless we have enough to offer everyone else.
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First of all her kids shouldnât be at your house more then there own. Secondly if your bringing fast food for your kids, check with the parents and see if itâs ok. Thirdly if parents r buying for one they should at least buy for everyone and next time u return the favour. Talk to each other donât just presume that everything is ok.
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It sounds like sheâs treating you like a free babysitter, thatâs why sheâs only bring food for her kids. Itâs weird. If I had my kids friends over I would never expect the other parent to bring food, likewise I wouldnât bring food to feed my kids at another persons house unless that person was babysitting.
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Steups, the woman going through a lot and you want to pile more onto her?
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Hereâs a little secret; life isnât always going to be fair and your kids will not always get what other kids have and if you teach them about this when they are young, youâll make them into great human beings because they will not have a sense of entitlement. I have 5 boys. If they invite a friend over, I feel itâs my responsibility to feed them because they are a guest at my house. If they are at my house and their mother brings them food; sheâs doing her job and providing food for her kids. Sheâs not expected to feed my kids. Be honest with your kids-their mom is bringing them dinner but our family is having X for dinner; you can have this as a snack instead. Whatâs not fair is that if she didnât feed her kids, youâd have something to say about always having to provide food for them. Sheâs feeding them and your nit picking that itâs fast food and sheâs not buying food for your kids. That mother is in a no win situation with you. Be better, do better.
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I would just sayâ hey Iâll feed all the kids no worries you just take the time for youâ and let it go. Or tell your kids âhey their mom is going through a lot and she wants to do this for them and Iâll make it up to youâ if you feel some sort of way about it.
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