I think if you say anything he will feel obligated to do it from then on and it won’t actually be meaningful. It’ll be because he doesn’t wanna hear you complain. He was getting a mother’s day gift for his daughters mom. Obviously the little girl couldn’t go buy a gift. I think new mom’s need to be celebrated over old mom’s. Old mom’s have had tons of mothers days and new mom’s haven’t. That’s how I feel about it.
I got a phone call from one son the night before as he was heading into work. Second son left me a message on text in the morning. He called later and said it.
You’re allowed to have feelings & what you feel is needed on that day is not the same for everyone else. But, your feelings ARE valid. However, me personally, I do not expect anything. My kids are also younger, but I just enjoy the day with them like I would any other day. I don’t need a day to tell me I’m a good mom when I know I am everyday!
No. Just no…. Please remember there are some mamas out here that pray for a child or children and yearn for what you have. Be grateful and thankful you raised a good one that is now taking care of the mom of his children.
the fact he came over to do chores shows his time & not his $ is what he wanted to give you… he wanted to help you around the house, maybe he thought it would lighten your load & make it easier for you to relax some…
I told my kids not to spend their money, to save it for when we go on vacation. I am just happy to be their momma, I don’t expect anything from them.
You’re children are grown and have to take care of their families first. I hope my sons take good care of their baby mamas one day. I can’t believe you’re complaining lol
If he came over and did your laundry that alone is a mother’s Day gift to not have to sit there and going up and down or to fold it he spent money on your grandkids that should make you happy. If you honestly are that upset just tell them spending time with you is just as much as a gift they at least told you happy mother’s Day there are some moms out there that don’t even get a phone call I understand you’re hurt you’re entitled to feel hurt but to be mad that they didn’t even get you a card the one has kids the other one had to work all day if you feel that upset about the one working all day, tell him you could at least call me and got me a card but the other one with the kids it’s hard with kids you should know that yourself
This may sound harsh, but it’s my opinion… if he spent $100 trying to impress his girlfriends mom and didn’t even get his own mom a card then he’s the type who saying something to him wouldn’t do anything but piss him off and make him defensive. People who are that inconsiderate don’t normally see themselves as in the wrong in any situation.
So I first read this as he spent all his money on his girlfriends mom. That makes a huge difference from my daughters mom/wife
I would. He don’t know how much it hurt you otherwise, say exactly what you said, it doesn’t have to cost anything, it’s the thought that counts. I’d be hurt too.
I was told the other day that once your kids have kids you get grandparents day and not mothers/father’s day. Ali still celebrate my mother but I’m sorry for the way it made you feel
I would say something. Otherwise it will fester. Write it out first. The either have him read it or read it to him. No reason for him doing that.
Honey maybe he didn’t have the money and was embarrassed it’s not always about you hope I wasn’t out of line
I wouldn’t take it personally. My daughter is a teenager and the only reason I got a gift from her is because each year since birth my mom would be nice and buy a card and a few gifts for my daughter to give to me and each year my daughter would be like “Happy Morhers Day and I didn’t buy you this gift grandma did” . This year tho my daughter did write a post on fb all on her own telling me Happy Mother’s Day and you know what? I was soooo happy with just that and that she acknowledged me for that moment
Wait was it his girlfriend’s mom or his girls as in his daughters, in which case that’s baby mamma. If it’s baby mamma then fine but if it was the mother of his girlfriend then big NO!!! If it’s the latter I would just tell him it hurt my feelings and next time just don’t tell me anything other than I love and happy Mother’s Day.
Hell yes…wtf…no pussy footing it around…say hey son i brought u into this world & I get backseat? They deserve guilt there is only one MOM!!!He did your laundry or was he over doing laundry?
They are taught at a very young age to give back to mom on mothers day by their dad they learn by example
I’m 38. And I’ve done this to my mom plenty of times. Sometimes we take advantage of our mothers and don’t give them the time and love they deserve. But he does love you more than you know like I do my mom. We just don’t tell or show y’all enough.
My boys are 5, 1 and 6months. My husband ordered me something but it hasn’t come in the mail yet. Mother’s Day for us was like any other day, taking care of chickens, doing yard work ect. My oldest said he was sorry he didn’t have time to make me a card. So instead he helped me feed and water our birds, change bedding and clean up the yard. While cleaning up the yard he picked me some dandelions and said happy Mother’s Day. He also went inside and got me a propel water without me asking because he saw I was getting tired and thirsty. I honestly don’t think Mother’s Day is all about gifts, flowers or cards. I think that’s what everyone says expects but time with your children and knowing they’re alive and well should be enough. My husband did cook my favorite dinner and had our oldest help but I was happy to just be able to have my kids happy and healthy. I also didn’t get the chance to see my mom on Mother’s Day because she was an hour away at her house doing the same thing as I was but me and my kids did FaceTime her to tell her happy Mother’s Day and make sure she was doing okay since this is her first year without my grandmother since she passed. And she was beyond grateful just for that
Maybe they don’t feel s gift was deserved? Not all moms , are considered “good” mom’s by their kids. Once my children are grown, it would be great to get gifts from them, obviously, but I don’t feel entitled to one from them. They did not ask to be in this world. Now my husband, better get me a gift! when people say their kids didn’t get them a gift, I don’t automatically think it was the kid’s fault, I honestly, question what type of mother they may have had. Because many adults are still coping with child hood trauma, and emotional damage from parents who have no clue that they caused it. so I question the parenting first. And whenever my children become parents, then I definitely dont expect mother’s day to be about me…my son BETTER be celebrating the mother of his children, and my daughter being celebrated by her significant other/spouse and children. My children don’t owe me anything, I owe them everything . Myself and their father chose parenthood
hell yes you say something because if you dont its gonna eat away at you and it might impair your relationship with your son. you are his mom you should come before his girlfriends mom if she wants something for her mom she can buy it.
Yes, you absolutely say something. No one else’s mom should have come before you.
I told mine 2 of them just had babies that they have their families now spend Mother’s Day at home with them … call me when you get time … I don’t need a day out of the year to be recognized as their mother …
Before my mother in law passed away, her Christmas gift to me was folding all of our laundry and I was SO beyond thankful. Her spending that time…HER time… folding OUR laundry was so thoughtful.
I wouldn’t say anything. But I also wouldn’t be hurt over it so
you say you dont expect anything but you clearly do.
I would have taken the doing laundry over ANYTHING LOL
I would be upset too, and feel a bit disrespected. If he can buy for his girls mom, he could have done the same for you. My opinion is he should have bought you something first, before anyone else.
Do not let him use u. These kids get so dang entitled. The only way to reach them about hurting others is for them to have to feel a few things.
Do not get him a present for anything. Until he changes.
Say “happy Birthday “ or Merry Christmas with no gifts.
Tell him you would have gotten him a gift but you spent all your money on your friends this year.
Then if he gets upset say “ how does it feel”?
Atleast he was honest doesn’t seem like he did it on purpose. I know it hurts but he still thought of you. Nothing can replace you. He knows that. Anywas I would get on my sons ass for the fun of it though lol because she didn’t help change the diapers hahaha
why do u need any gift? I’m baffled that moms expect anything like cut the ambilocal cord already. I get it but why? i don’t expect anything on that day just don’t expect me to do anything for u on your birthday or fathers day lol
I think you wouldn’t mind so much if he hadn’t have got his gf’s Mum something and left you out. He could have split the money he did have.
Yes you have the right did you when he was growing up forget him?
I wouldn’t personally say anything to my boys, but to each their own.
If he spent 100 on his girls mom the least he could have done is gotten a card from dollar tree or made you lunch. He obviously knew it was mothers day. If he didn’t spend 100 on the other person, then it would be a little different.
Wow!!! I’m a mother to three Beautiful children. I don’t expect anything from them. I buy my grandbabies presents for their mom’s and I’ll continue to do so.
Try being a Giver instead of a Receiver. It’s alot more satisfying.
I would be crushed but I wouldn’t say anything:(
I don’t get nothing I’m not particularly bothered just seeing my son in a morning giving me a kiss before school is more than enough for me
I would never say a word. Free laundry at my home stops though.
Just tell him how u feel. Let him know that he didn’t have to buy you anything, just him being there would have been enough. You need to talk to him because he may not know how hurt you are by it and if you don’t say anything he won’t know.
I got my heart broke several times this past year by my adult kids. Mothers Day hurt the worst . I’ve not said anything. But my heart hurts!
Im a little angry at his girls mom. I always make sure my husband at least send his mother something or have something delivered. I sent her a card this year and had him send over a fruit arrangement otherwise my husband wouldnt remember.
I don’t think OP has an issue with gifts as she did say she would have loved a card or note, I think she means that ‘the thought would have counted’
The amount of people who still think they need a gift on retail holidays like this AND get their feelings hurt when it doesn’t happen is just appalling to me. I literally do not even care if my kids acknowledge mother’s day. Because all the rest of the year, they tell me and show me how much they love and appreciate me. The unrealistic expectations society places on people for a one day a year performance is actually disgusting. If your son only had means to get something for the mother of his children, then you should be proud of that. Not selfish. Smh. So many more important things to dwell on or feel some type of way over.
I would have been upset also. And you have every right to be! It happens tho. There was a year I didn’t get anything and I was upset.
If my son doesn’t put the mother of his child before me on mother’s day I will be disappointed.
That being said, yes you should say something if it’s bothering you but tread lightly. let him know it hurt but don’t put him on the spot, don’t make him feel bad, don’t down talk the DIL. It is perfectly okay to be hurt by it, but if you are going to bring it up be prepared to hear and accept an answer you may not like. He may have his reasons. He may feel she takes priority now that he has his own kids. Share your feelings without negating or dismissing his.
I would never expect a gift from my sons, give me your love and time spent together, that is the best gift of all next to the cute handmade or handwritten stuff that I will keep forever.
I got a “Happy Mother’s Day” from both my kids and that’s all I expected. We’re all close and material things are not necessary. At my age, I have everything I want or need so, as far as I’m concerned, they can spend their time with their families. Same at Christmas when we do get together but, please, don’t spend your money on me for things I don’t need.
Im not sure. I give and I’m uncomfortable getting so I’d just let it go but would I be hurt hearing about what he did for someone else’s mother? Definitely.
I would let him know how hurt you are and simply let him know you will no longer be doing his laundry etc.
It’s not so much about the gift but the effort I think. It’s ridiculous that he spent that money on another mother whilst your left to clean for him.
Nope nope nope.
You have every right to feel how you feel, and some of these comments are just pointless. All mightier than now.
OR even next year, treat yourself and let your kids know your out of reach for 7days.
Maybe then they will see.
Your feelings are valid … should you make a big deal . No . Never make them feel like they have to or guilty so then next time it feels like that is the only reason they did
I always tell my girls they don’t have to buy me anything just get me a card they always go above and I feel so blessed. I would be hurt if they didn’t acknowledge it. That’s great he spent that much on his kids mother but gosh why not pick up least a card for his own mother
Rarely do any of my 5 kids get me anything for any holiday. I feel blessed to just have them in my life and that they come around to spend time with me. That’s always been enough for me. I’m not a person who requires presents. My husband and I don’t exchange gifts for birthdays, Christmas or anniversary’s often either.
My kids didn’t get me anything either. They never do. But I’d be pissed if they bought a gift for another person’s mom but didn’t do anything for me. Say something to that disrespectful brat!
Be grateful he comes over at all. He could be one of those sons you don’t ever get to see let alone spend quality time with.
Let him know how you feel and if he adult he can do his own landuary.
As long as my kids text or call me I’m satisfied. That they at least took time from their busy day to wish me a good mothers day.
I have three boys and one girl. All adults. You are not alone.
A little something is always appreciated. But…what can we do? Just the usual…smile.
mothers day is just another day, when he comes to see you that is a gift now days.
I genuinely don’t think he was talking about his kids mom, most people who would bail on their own mother say “my girl” when talking about their significant other.
Yes do say something. An acknowledgement didnt have to cost. Poor mamma xx
It won’t do any good then they feel guilty & if they get or do anything it will only be because of you saying something. I had one forget altogether but they live out of state. One I’m not sure he said anything. One came a weekend early & gave me a gift & of course I wasn’t asking anyone for anything, so it was a nice surprise & another came to see me. I know they love me, that’s all that matters. I actually like quiet me time which I got & slept in lol.
You need him to gift you… every single year ?
I think the OP’s son brought over his own laundry but I could be mistaken.
So sorry i know that was heart breaking but young men don’t use their heads when they are in love .He i am sure had to please his future mother in law
be grateful he came over!
I think its understandable to feel unappreciated at any age, even with grown children. With that being said, talking to him about your feelings will help prevent any resentment and possibly help your relationship strengthen. I do believe as our children grow up, they will see us differently and if hes grown, he should be able to understand where youre coming from. Thank you instead of sorry makes a HUGE difference.
The fact that he said sorry and offered to basically do chores should be good enough! That is sweet in my opinion. Life is so hard and people expect so much. I’m not calling you selfish by any means but put your self in your sons shoes he’s most likely doing the best he can. He’s trying to please the mother of his children… I’m sure he wanted her day to be special from him and his girls… if thats your daughter in law and grand children I would think you would understand that and want her day to be special! I’m sure he would of loved to been able to afford everyone gifts… I’m sure he didn’t think of a hand written letter because guys don’t think like us girls. To be fair in his eyes I think laundry was him trying to be sweet!!!
I wouldn’t say anything to him. He doesn’t need that stress in his life. I’m sure he’s doing the best he can trying to please everyone and your his mom. Moms are understanding♥️
I have daughters in college. A couple years ago they didn’t get me anything and I totally said something. I was kind and loving…but I did let them know that they need to make me a priority on Mothers Day. They’ve made an effort every year since.
I would be happy with a phone call. It would make me so happy to hear or see him give appreciation to the mother of his children. The THINGS don’t matter.
Man, shut up. You sound like a baby. That is your kid, he doesn’t have to get you anything.
I don’t understand why his girl couldn’t get her mom something. I would see it differently if they were married but he was still wrong for not remembering who his real mother is
Maybe you could forget their birthday. Let them know how hurt you are
He didn’t have the money. Why would you be hurt?
You lay on your back… have raw sex… push a child out… then want a gift every single year for it be grateful you have your kids love . Ain’t nobody forced to gift you on a holiday the lord himself didn’t even create then get deeply hurt cuz someone didn’t buy u something. Get a bf
If he has girls they could’ve made you a finger paint card. If he has kids they probably already have the stuff to make you a cute card. My kids make a different card or project for my Mom.
Intell my daughter not to spend her money I know she loves me, Times are tough for everyone, I do not know anything changes telliung him you are hurt.Why does he do laundry there? Can’t afford a machine?
Yes. Speak up. Be truthful. It hurt enough u came here to voice it.
These comments are so gross.
Tell him it will make him a better man for his future relationships
My oldest son came to drop my grandkids off and said Happy Mother’s Day and honestly that was enough for me.
I think it’s not so much that he didn’t get you a gift but he should not have told you he spent all his money on his girlfriend’s mother. That would hurt me more than anything. And yes I would tell him that.
The question is did he tell you happy Mothers day???
Gifts are not nessacary, it is the thought that counts!
#feelingwise
A phone call is great to me. I tell them that there is nothing I really need. I just like to hear from them.
I’d show it in my actions. Make him buy his own laundry soap, hell, send him to the laundromat! Unless he randomly does nice things for you I’d call him out. My only living children worked this year, but I still got a card and a delivery from Amazon
Tell him his girls mom should of helped to
If he bought something for the gf mom he certainly could have at least gotten you a card. Even though he had no money left for you he could have done something to help you out and gave you a hug
Definitely communicate with them on this. And for the people pointing out that “she said she didn’t except anything but clearly she does” she then goes on to clarify that it’s the principal of things and a HAND written letter woulda been just as fine w her. If your adult children don’t seem to be as thoughtful or considerate as you would expect them to be, communicate. provide examples of what it is your trying to accomplish. Quality time spent on this special day for you, or to hear how they feel about you being in their lives. They have you alive and in good healthy this holiday , who knows if they do for the next.
Some.people didn’t read this the women says she didn’t get anything bc her son spent all his money on his girl friends mother key words their mother of his gf got stuff but not his own mother wtf
A call wishing me a happy Mother’s Day and hearing I love you is enough. And being appreciated all year is better than one day a year.
No. Its unfortunate that you held the day to a higher standard, you should learn from it and move on.
We as Mothers have an absolute obligation to teach kindness. You should tell your son you are hurt that you came last on his priority list. Make it clear it isn’t about money. A card, hand picked flowers, a cup of Starbucks. We are treated how we allow people to treat us and this is honestly very thoughtless behavior that needs to be addressed.
He was honest with you, now it’s time to be honest with him. I wouldn’t bring up for what he did for his children’s mother. I would just express that you feel forgotten.
While I understand fully being hurt, bringing it up to him could potentially lead to distancing between the two of you so tread lightly. And if he brought up not getting you a gift he likely acknowledged the holiday itself so you weren’t entirely forgotten. Pick & choose your battles. You’re both adults.
I’d be hurt. A simple card does the trick.
The sad thing is when we do say anything, it only pisses them off at us further to the point they stop communications with us then act like “it’s our fault” that they’re mad at us. They are adults. If they know they should get something out of love or respect for “their girls Mom”, then they definitely need to acknowledge their OWN Mother at least let alone get something for them. I’m so very sorry you’re dealing with this. Adult kids these days just do not appreciate the sacrifices parents make to get them where they are today.
I would mention to him that his girlfriend needs to buy her mother’s gift out of her money and that it hurt you. Unless you tell people you can’t expect them to read your mind. But also I would expect my Son to know better. You other Son even if he worked he should have given you a card or have something send to you. They must be very self centered
A dollar tree or dollar store card would be great for me. It’s the thought that counts.