I’m a mom of adult boys and for Mother’s Day I got an I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything I spent all my money on my girls mom, but I’m here to do laundry. I was so hurt. Should I say something to him? let him know how hurt I was I don’t never expect anything from my kids. The amount he spent was close to 100 and I would have been thrilled with a hand written letter or dollar tree card. This Momma is hurt. My other son had to work all day, I was sad about that too, but that can’t be helped.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I say something to my son for not getting me anything for Mother's Day?
I never expect anything on any special day, why? Because it’s a surprise if I do get something and then if I don’t then I’m not disappointed.
You should be honest about your feelings just as you expressed here. Love is also about communication and understanding.
I might say something especially because he let it known that he spent money on his girls mom. You are his comfort zone & he may not realize he’s hurting you unless you talk about it. That’s how it is with my adult son anyway best of luck! Stay strong
Oh absolutely not, he didn’t even get you a card but showed up at YOUR house to do laundry!?? That’s awful I would’ve kicked him out
I’m a single mom of four. I haven’t gotten mother’s day gifts in years.
It’s no big deal
I don’t understand women that get upset over these made up holidays that are only designed to make people spend money! I think the fact that he came over to do something for you is so sweet! Money is the easy way out. He was giving you his TIME. To me that is so much more special.
I’d tell him how hurt I am. He had all year to do something. Let him take his clothes to her mothers house. Forget their birthdays
Just say you can always make it up. I’d like for us to have dinner.
Of course you should say something. Like you said you’re not expecting an expensive gift, just an acknowledgment. Flowers at the supermarket are under $15. It’s just the thought.
No. Hallmark holidays don’t make or break life.
That’s pretty ignorant but he was honest. Guys forget everything without women to remind them. I don’t expect anything but I may ask for something specific if I really want.
It’s not that big of a deal. I wouldn’t put so much importance into it.
I too got nothing for Mother’s Day. Not from my significant other or my children. And they are half grown. I got told happy Mother’s Day and that was it. Heck they barely spoke to me that day. Just did their own thing. I was severely upset. And I made sure they knew. I wanted them to understand that that one day a year is meant to show appreciation for all a mother does. It’s a job that never ends. Not even when you’re sleeping. You still worry and help even when they are grown. They both apologized and said next year would be better. I’m just hoping it is.
I’d say something. If he can spend money on someone who isn’t his mom then he should’ve bought you something
I’m sorry that happened to you. Mine was the same way. Big dinners and elaborate gifts for their in law and nothing. I would have settled for a phone call.
You got an I’m sorry. Most don’t get that lol.
No let it go it’s not that serious.
Yes tell him but unfortunately mom is always last
See what happens when you￼ “forget” his birthday.
If Utsav a big deal to you, yes tell him in a non accusatory way but by all means, please mention it
So he only came over to do his laundry, gave his girlfriends mom something close to $100 but didn’t do anything for you!? Oh hell no! Not acceptable! He can do laundry elsewhere.
All I get is Happy mother’s day mom…love u
Tell them what you have said in this post
Okay so I have 4 kids and 2 step kids. I got Happy Mothers day from my 4 kids. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that others won’t do for you like you do for them and move on.
Was he doing your laundry, or his?
If he was doing yours, then I would be thankful he came to help.
If he was doing HIS laundry, I would definitely have a conversation with him, and let him know how it affected you.
I have 2 kids my son who lives in Florida and is 23 just starting his career has my grand baby texted me and said he loved me that was enough for me my 20 yr old daughter for my flowers but she lives with me. Just dismiss it at least he did laundry.
Honestly, I always tell my grown children I don’t need anything. I’d be happy with them doing the laundry!
I’m more concerned about why his girl didn’t make sure his mom was good when he made sure her mom was!
I would say it’s not that serious but he’s getting his girlfriends moms gifts and not you Wtf I would be upset at that. I am sentimental so a card would be so appreciated !! They say a daughter is a daughter for life a son until he takes a wife . Thank god I have a daughter LOL
I LOVE a card but nothing is a sad thing!
Do you need a gift to know he loves you?
I would say that it hurt your heart
Im sorry. I just think it’s tacky to be mad that you didn’t get a gift for a holiday. He has children and he did right by getting the mother of his children something. Times are hard. Maybe he really is broke. Idk just my opinion
The labor of love, at least to me, goes farther than any gift I could receive.
Do you plan on doing something for him for international kids day August 11? Idk why people put so much energy into Hallmark days. Even if he came over to do laundry at least he was there. I’m sure he hung out with you.
I hear a few ladies at the nail salon yesterday saying how their husband or kids didn’t go all out for Mothers day.
I kept shaking my head thinking how ungrateful they were.
Being a mother myself I don’t expect ANYTHING from anyone nor should I. I haven’t gotten a gift from my husband nor my children (other than homemade cards which are the BEST THINGS ON EARTH) in a few years due to not spending outside out budget for non essential things. Mothers Day IS EVERYDAY since we had our children, not some made up hallmark day someone made up years ago.
Our children werent asked to be born so why make them gift you with presents on ONE DAY because YOU made them their mother.
We need to stop thinking about all the EXTRA things in life and just spend more time DAILY with our kids… Not expect them to bow down to us because we had them. Again it was OUR choice to have them not them.
He could’ve done SOMETHING. I don’t know about all cultures but I know in Hispanic culture we honor our mothers and especially-so on Mother’s Day…
Yes. Tell him you are hurt. I couldn’t imagine not getting my mom anything for Mother’s Day.
Tbh I would rather my child come to my home and do my laundry
Since when is material things more important
I think what he did was wonderful
Well it’s a made up holiday but a little acknowledgement might be nice. He literally spent his time & money on his girls’ mom knowing full well he also has a Mom. Sorry, but he’s an ungrateful little sh*t. Definitely tell him how you feel.
I would just be thankful that I got to see my son. For whatever reason. Not every mother got that. Just saying. No judgment here. I didn’t get anything either. But I am proud to just see them and too know they are well.
I’d keep your mouth shut ciz next year he won’t even show up!
I’m sure he has no idea how much he hurt your feelings, he probably thought coming over and doing laundry and spending time with you would’ve been enough, but with that said YOU raised him …he is the man he is today because of you. The whole time raising him did you make Mother’s Day a very special day for yourself or was it just a whatever day? My boys know that I considered a special day but we celebrated the weekend before or the weekend after, now that they are adults. Before when they were kids it was all about me on that day!! Lol I made sure if that.
But my kids also know that I would rather them spend time with me then buy me anything at all. I would rather pick time over present any day. ￼￼￼￼￼￼￼
So you Dont expect anything for mothers day but you’re annoyed he didn’t get you anything. And he spent the money on his children…you are not coming across very well I have to say. He came and helped you with laundry amd spent time with you - that should mean more than Any bought gift
I would say something! He have his gf mom a gift of nearly $100 when he could’ve easily spent split it or even bought you flowers from the local grocery store! Idk I’d be hurt and pissed I’m your mother I raised you how about a piece of appreciation for mom no matter how small smh… I’ve said something to my kids in the past but that would hurt even more! I’m mad for you lol
Honestly no… he’s taking care of responsibilities by making sure his kids mom feels special. You raised him right that’s the gift. If you really wanted something special ask him over for dinner and spend time together
I have 3 grown boys and they have a step mom that’s been around for 8 years and they celebrate Mother’s Day for her not me just to keep their dad happy. I don’t even get heart broke any more cause there’s not left to break.
Oh he wouldn’t have done his laundry there either.have your girl do it
My kids were here all day and I didn’t even get a happy mothers day. I sat them down and told them how I felt. I also feel it’s partly my fault because I have always made everything about them and never ever put myself 1st. They are 11,13,14. I was very hurt.
Don’t say a word, until he asks why you didn’t get him anything for his birthday. Then remind him about mothers day.
Time spent together is the most precious gift of all because time is priceless. Tell your sons that you would like to have dinner together or plan a family day. I know it’s not about gifts. It’s really just feeling acknowledged, loved and appreciated.
Just because the day has passed, doesn’t mean you can’t still do something. I understand you wanted them
To put in the effort, but go ahead and send a group text or something. Send a kind text saying you understand one had to work and money being tight and all you would really like is to spend some quality time together.
You are not wrong. I would have made the comment, “Gee, I guess I’m not as important as MIL since I didn’t even get a card.” It might be a “made up holiday”, but sometimes it’s all we get as mothers in one year to get some appreciation for what we do daily for other people. I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.
You should absolutely say something… and next time he has a birthday DO NOT GET HIM ANYTHING!!! Say sorry I spent all my money. He cared more about getting his girls mom something than you. I would also say something to his girl (if they are serious) when my man’s mom was living even tho we had our problems I always made sure he got her at least something on Mother’s Day! We would spent the same amount on my mom and his mom. I think what he did is disgusting cause like u said, you woulda been happy with just a card, but he didn’t even bother to do that. Next time he brings clothes to your house to wash tell him to take them to his girls moms house. Put your foot down with him let him know what he did was wrong!! If he cares more about his girls moms feelings than yours then don’t get him anything else for any holidays ever again. That’s just what I would personally do, I’m broke but I still got my mom a card and candle at least. It’s the thought that counts and it’s very sad he didn’t consider your feelings at all and I’m very sorry for that.
I didn’t get anything .I never do for any of my 3 kids
Be proud he acknowledged his girls mom and is a good partner. That says something about you as a Mama.
My son gave me an unsigned card talking about necessity of coffee… he doesn’t even like coffee… and an empty glass terrarium that he doesn’t even know what it is. He’s 19. I spoke to my husband about it, but ultimately I got a hug and verbal happy mothers day so I’m accepting that I was at least noticed by him on Sunday.
I wouldn’t say anything. I love just the opportunity to spend time with my kids. Lots of years my kids haven’t had the money to get anything for Mother’s Day. I was just glad to hear from them. The real Mother’s Day gift happened the day they were born. You got them. That’s all that matters.
Girl mine aren’t even all grown and this year my stepdaughter didn’t even call or text and my own two boys didn’t even give me a little hand written letter or dollar store/homemade card I feel you but I also know they appreciate me and show me other days than mothers day
You don’t expect anything but you’re so hurt? That doesn’t make sense.
The fact that he is comfortable enough to be honest and still needs you to me would be enough. I always tell my kids their presence is for more important to me then a present. one day he wont be there at all. I would be so happy to see my son anyday! He spent the money on his girl friends mom because he wants to impress them. He knows he has your unconditional love . That is what he will always remember!
Yes i did and it woke my son up to see he was selfish and did a total 360!
If you’re used to getting things for Mother’s Day, I can see why you’d be upset.
They’re adults. If they only have the money to spend on their childrens mom, then be happy they’re good dads/spouses. The kids are little and can’t do it themselves.
If it really does bother you, tell him about it, gently.
He did apologize for his actions which says something, I never expect anything from my children but happy mothers day as I am happy they say that because if it was not for them i would not be a mother
Take your laundry to your girls mom’s house is. What. I would’ve said . Don’t be using up my water lol
I would have said go do laundry at your girls moms house.
Don’t feel bad I have 5 grown kids I didn’t get visit call text nothing…im use to it…im fighting stage 4 kidney failer they don’t seem care…oh well all for themselves I would have at least loved a I love u mom but I didn’t get it…
It said he spent money on his girl’s mom. Is that girlfriend’s mom or like his girls mom as in his children’s mom?. Either way he came over and a mother shouldn’t expect their child to get them anything. Personally I think she’s overreacting and shouldn’t say anything.
People put to much emphasis on holidays. Your child is still alive and has something to do with you alot of parents don’t have that. Be grateful for what you have.
No. Guilting your children into recognizing mother’s day seems counterproductive. If he tells you that he loves you without being prompted on occasion be grateful and accept that it is what it is.
I would definitely say something, the money should’ve been split between the 2 of you. If you don’t tell him he will continue to do it every year. Or hey his bday will be coming do the same thing to him.
And she can wash their laundry at her mothers house if it’s a problem.
I’d rather do his laundry and spend time with him while he’s there. Much more important than a card
I say who cares i just spend the day with my kids and didn’t go to my moms but I did send her a gift. Its my day too and im a mom so is my mom and grandmother but its hard to not want to enjoy the day yourself if you’ve made a family and wanna spend it with them considering all the other holidays
He should not have told you he spent alk of his money on her mom. I would be upset too!
He needs to go do laundry at his girls mom house then
ungrateful ass bitch! shut your entitled mouth up before he has nothing to do with you! like you said, you shouldn’t expect a damn thing. you’re acting as if he NEEDS to acknowledge you for mother’s day, he doesn’t need to at all nor should he have to. your ego and pride should be pushed to the side for a little bit, adult children have their own lives to worry about, they’re not trying to make their mommies happy 25/8 especially adult sons like you have some messed up expectations if you say he needs to at least do something for you, no he simply does not. A nice message could have done the trick, you’re lucky you’ve gotten anything with that attitude.
Mammas hierdie is inspuitings vir 8 dae vir een rondte ivf, wat ongelukkig onsuksesvol was. Daar is baie daar buite wat baie graag ook n mamma wil wees, en nie sal kla oor blomme of sjokolade. Mamma ek dink die grootste geskenk, het jy alreeds ontvang. Wanneer jy Sondag daardie geskenk ontvang, wat jy nie graag wou hê, weet dat dit met groot liefde gekoop, gepluk of self gemaak is. Onthou ook dat daar baie kinders daar buite is wat ook net Sondag so graag hulle mamma sou wou bel en sê “gelukkige moedersdag”…
My oldest son forgot to call me lol he’s in the Navy and works crazy hours plus is taking classes… He texted me last night and told me he didn’t even realize it had been mother’s day. Once they’re adults, they have their own priorities. Doesn’t mean they love us any less… I wasn’t upset at all. And was glad he reached out a couple days later. To me, mother’s day isn’t about cards and presents and brunches… It’s about love and family. People put to much stock in material things sometimes…
A card is special & it’s all I expect it means a lot to me
Holidays are bogus. Id be happy to just spend time with my boys for mother’s day. Even hand picked flowers, but I expect absolutely nothing and always have expected nothing. Quality time is what matters most.
You could be like alot of us Mother’s out there that our child is in heaven and not with us, we would give our lives just to see them for a few minutes!! Think about what you have, don’t let jealousy or material things blind you from what you have!! He came to you as his mom, knowing that you of all people would understand… he offered to eliminate a chore for you …give him a big hug n kiss and a thank you. I love you… you never know if will be the last!!!
I didn’t hear from my two adult sons on Mothers Day. Do I wish they would’ve remembered to send a text at least, yes of course I do. However it didn’t break my heart. I remember being their age and they’re boys. I know they didn’t give two cents or even one thought about Mothers Day…that’s a mom thing. They’re engulfed in their lives not mine. I sent them a joking test about not even texting me just to bring it to their attention so that maybe they’ll remember next year. I don’t expect anything for my birthday either…I’m more than aware that’s not a young man’s priority. They’re still growing into men and they themselves are their focus, not mom. That’s okay with me. They know I love them and I know they love me. That’s enough and makes everyday Mother’s Day for me.
Expectation ruins everything……
I don’t expect anything- of course it’s nice but I also just feel that it’s just another stupid holiday.
You need ask yourself why it hurts that he didn’t get you anything…. I think there’s more to this than just a Mother’s Day gift.
Some of you really need to take the time to read what she wrote. Y’all giving answers to something clearly not even typed! Read it again.
Tell him next time do his laundry at he’s girls… mom’s house…
I never want my kids to spend anything on me. But that’s me. I’m happy to have healthy children
you need to realize once that man makes a women a mother , you don’t get to be upset . he has responsibilities and that’s his wife , you come second now. be happy that he treats his wife good , as he should . he spent time with you for a little bit of time. stop being selfish
No don’t spoil your love for him by putting a pricetag(gifts) on it.
I’m interjecting to say how could his girl let that slip his mind too? I mean I know for sure I wouldn’t let my man buy stuff for my mom and not his own
So was he doing your laundry? Like as a present he did your chores? Or was he just washing his cause he doesn’t have a washer.
No I would not say anything. They knew what day it was. I’m sorry ￼
Maybe he thought you would be upset with a cheap card, especially after knowing how much he spent on his kids mum. I wouldn’t say anything negative to him as he may feel guilty or upset about it but men don’t think the same as us & he honestly could have been worried about a cheap card. The fact he called to do something for you is a lovely gesture. You should be happy with what he did do, not with what you didn’t get. If it was me I would want to be understanding that he had no money left as even though he’s grown up I would want to make things easier for him so if by not complaining means he has less pressure on gift giving then I’d happily go without to help him. If you feel that upset about it though & don’t want him to repeat the same thing next year then I’d nicely tell him not to worry if he doesn’t have much money as you’d be happy with a cheap card or cheap box of chocolates. Men some times need these things explained to him lol just tell him in a nice way though. I still think it’s awesome that he called to do housework. Most mums I know including myself would prefer this way more than a bunch of flowers. Not many mothers have kids who would make the effort or could be bothered. He obviously loves you very much.
You are over reacting.
Mother’s day is about showing appreciation for their mom, could just pop by and have a cup of coffee or meal with mom and spend time. If they can’t or don’t want to, then it is what it is. It is not mandatory, it is just another day that people want to attach significance to. You can literally have the kids pick any other day, say it is mother’s day and do mother’s day stuff then…the date doesn’t matter. If you feel some type of way about it, speak to the kid about it.
Gifts should never be expected from a mother, it’s not about gifts it’s about having them in your life and getting to spend time with them. If you got a happy Mother’s Day from them, that’s a win in my book! Hugs mama be proud that your son is responsible and working and be proud of your son that bought gifts for his wife, mother of his children, you raised a good husband/father. Those should be gifts from themselves, it’s all about perspective and counting your blessings for at her than material things.
I wouldn’t say anything or be hurt. I don’t expect anything from my kids, I’d be thrilled with them just visiting me as an adult.
Yes I would say something. Sometime they forget how they make u feel
I would say something. Just tell him that hurt your feelings and ask if he’d like if you didn’t get him a birthday or Christmas gift because you ‘spent it on your mother in law.’ Just tell him that you don’t expect a lot but a card would have been nice
If he has kids now then you are a grandparent and can get a “grandparent” gift on that day. Yes you might still be his mom but his priorities have shifted to the women that gave birth to his children and is currently now in the motherhood phase. ￼
My almost 18 yr old daughter didn’t get me a gift. My 13 yr old son made me a gift. My actual gift was spending time with both of them for the entire day. They’re teens and it’s rare that all three of us spend an entire day together. I suggested (earlier in the week) that we go to a movie, so we went to a late lunch and a movie.
Remember, Mother’s Day is a Hallmark holiday. Yes, your son dropped some big money on his girlfriend’s mother (which is weird to me) but the gift on ONE day isn’t a testiment of how they truly feel about you.
AND, gift giving is a love language. Not all people show their love that way. Also, when it comes to our children, the showing of appreciation is taught.
What I would do, going forward, is to ask for your son to take you out for coffee…start small…for Mother’s Day. Or for him to make you dinner, at your house. Plant the seed.