Should I see someone else?

I know, as a mother, my kids come first. I love them; they are 5,2,10months. I was with the father of my kids back and forth and finally, after suffering for years…I decide to leave him for good it been one year since…would it look wrong if I begin a relationship with someone? The guys know me when I had my first kid. We stop talking, and he says he still wants to be with me after having two more kids? I know she is my decision, but I don’t know if my family would take it wrong or tell me that it’s too soon that I should worry about my kids…

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A year seems reasonable if and only if your heart feels ready. I recommend stepping into it slowly, but sure? Why the heck not. Unless he’s got a history of abusing kids or partners.

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As long as you always make sure your kids are first and protect them, no I dont think it is too soon

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It’s about when you feel ready, no one else. It’s perfectly ok and healthy to move on and date someone new. Just put your children first always, and make sure if you’re looking for something serious that he is too and is a good match for them as well. Take your time, enjoy yourself, you deserve happiness too.

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I left my daughter’s sperm donor when I was 5 months pregnant he cheated on me and kept with doing drugs plus he was a deadbeat dad to his other kids and I said he wouldn’t have any part in her life… I took 2 years and stayed single wasnt looking to date was fine by myself until I met an amazing man who now she calls daddy and we have a little one on the way so… I think you’re fine to date whenever you’re ready :blush:

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I see no problem with it. Protect your kids heart with a ferocity stronger than you seek to protect your own. :heart: you know what’s best for them.

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There’s nothing wrong with dating. I’d just take it slow mingling him with your kids at first

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There is no problem with being with someone after a year. If he accepts your children then you should go for it. Maybe wait a little before he meets the children

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Just take it slow hun it’s your life you deserve happiness too just because your a mom does not change that best wishes

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Each to there own I have been seperated a year I don’t want a relationship but I saying that I’ve not really connected with anyone go for it will never know if U don’t try

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A year is plenty of time… just protect your babies and take things slow.

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I left my ex last January, got with my boyfriend a month later and we’re about to celebrate a year together. People talked shit and assumed things but my daughter witness a kind man courting her mom, treating her like a princess and we didn’t make it official to her till she told me she wanted my boyfriend to be my boyfriend. We let things develop at her level and made her a part of our happiness. Because my daughter is my world, if he wanted a part of it she came with it. I didn’t care what anyone else thought as long as she was good. And they have a great bond, she calls him her bestfriend.

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If you personally feel ready and make sure that whoever you start seeing knows that your kids come first, by all means, feel free to date. It’s nobody’s decision but yours.

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Why is there an angry react?
Sheeze. Guess mums cant go get her cheese on.

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If you’re ready then by all means momma no crime in dating best luck to you :heart:

You have been single a year but have mourned him enough years allready! It will be your heartbreak or great relationship, but either way is worth it!

No I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 5 years and my ex left me at 5 months pregnant. I met and unexpectedly started dating my current bf at 6 months pregnant after being set up by his mother who I’ve known since I was little. He is raising my baby as his own and he has been there for me since the day I met him. My oldest son (14) loves and trusts him and my bf sets an amazing example of how to treat a lady. He has 2 kids of his own as well. Life doesn’t always go according to plan. As long as your children are treated well that’s what matters!

I got left 3 months pregnant with my 2nd child and i was with their dad for almost 9 years and almoat a year later I started slowly seeing this guy who was patient with me and now we have been together almost 4 years and have a baby on the way. if you feel ready go for it!

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Its been a year girl you have had plenty of time to self reflect! Get get him! And screw what anyone else thinks!

I’ve been single a year and am interested in dating and theres nothing wrong with that if you are ready. I am just still recovering and hesitant to trust someone and be willing to date. If I meet the right guy I think I’ll give it a shot. Its up to you.

My husband and I are celebrating 20 years together this year. We started dating when I was pregnant with my son and his dad decided it was to hard to be a responsible adult. We had been friends since we were young. He stepped up, took me to appointments, was there for his birth, and had been dad since. If it feels right go for it.

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No one can answer this … Its all about how you feel … But just make sure he is good for the kids sets a good example and tht he is ready to take on responsibility of taking care of kids and loving them IF things get serious … It is no ones business whn or who u date

I have always put my kids first. I can have a relationship when they are out of the house. Just me

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It’s your choice but I personally don’t think you should bring anyone around your kids until they can talk in full sentences and you know that guy inside and out. There are way too many sickos in the world. Trust no one.

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People are always going to tell you it’s too soon or your kids come first or that your being selfish for wanting to be happy for yourself. If you feel okay and feel ready, go for it. Just make sure to protect your kids and do what makes you ALL happy. Please don’t let others dictate your feelings.

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Love doesn’t come when its convenient. If you have a chance at love then why not. Happy Mama in a healthy relationship makes for happy kids in future healthy relationships.

My daughter was 4 months when I left her father he was very psyically abusive, when my daughter turned 5 months I started dating my son’s father (my son is 11 months ) ,my daughter is now 3 years old and has an amazing life ! She even calls him daddy :slight_smile: he taught her how to walk talk and run :slight_smile:

Only you know what’s best for your kids ! And if that means doing something for your self ! ( Like finding a new love ) then do it!!!
You got this mama bear!!! :heart::kissing_heart:

It’s your choice mama. BUT, maybe keep the relationship separate from your kids until you know its serious and you can fully trust this person around your babies. Good luck mama

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You need counseling. Do you have insurance. I am a licensed therapist. I can give you some referrals if you won’t use me.

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Who cares how your family takes it. You’re the one dating him. Not them. Do what makes you happy.
Why can’t you worry about your kids and yourself at the same time if you choose to do so?
Do whatever you wanna do.

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Dating is one thing and that’s perfectly okay. Introducing this man into your kids lives is another. You should only do so if the relationship is serious and going somewhere, these days, you’ll know whether it is worth hanging onto in a few months and then you can decide from there. I wouldn’t introduce someone to my kids until I knew it was moving in that direction, but I’ve also never been in this position. Everyone I know has always hopped on the next man and brought him in on their kids. Most don’t work out, but 1 or 2 have. I don’t think I could ever do that to my babies.

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If you feel ready then it is right. I would advice keeping your dating life separate from your children. Children fall in love much quicker than adults do. You want to really vet any potential partners well with an eye to what is best for your children as well as for you. When a relationship is right for all concerned and is moving to domething serious, then introduce your children.

Mine was 10 months old when I started dating. It’s been rough. Make sure he really really is ok with the kids and not just pretending so he can get laid.

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There is nothing wrong with moving on and finding your happiness. Anyone who truly knows you will likely understand, and anyone who judges you for it really doesn’t matter. You love your kids, you do what you have to do for them, and you deserve to do what makes you happy.

Just make sure you take it slow around the kids. My eldest son butted heads with my fiance for a while because in his eyes, he was the man in my house. But after a while and talking to him openly about it, they became inseparable.

Best of luck, hun. Remember that your happiness is important :heart:

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You have to be happy too period if you are not happy you cannot be good for your kids just try not to make the same mistake twice do what makes you happy and keep it that way whether with a man or alone and that is what is best for your kids and you

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You have a life to live too. Be cautious, but remember, there are only so many days in one’s life. There isn’t any do-over when they’re gone. The best way to spend them is being happy. Stop worrying about what others think. It’s not their life to live.

I agree! Don’t put your happiness on a back burner for anyone! If you like this guy then go for it! Only you will know if he’s what’s good for you! Best of luck!!

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You deserve to be happy. If you truly like this guy, date him.

I would take it slow introducing him to your kids. But don’t let the opinions of others keep you from being happy

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Go slow. You need to heal and be mom first. I’ve been there. Make sure any man you bring around your children is above reproach. They should be your first concern.

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if your having such thoughts. should Waite. and the day. nothing else matters. go for it.

Yes and no, isn’t it too soon though? I mean your baby is 10 months old, I don’t want to sound like an old fashion but why don’t you take your time to heal? Go out explore, travel with your kids, study something, take care of yourself ? You don’t need a man to be happy :sweat:

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You deserve to be happy! You can’t please everyone and you don’t have to. Best of luck!!! :heart:

Don’t let anyone’s opinion determine your happiness!! Being a mom does not mean you don’t deserve happiness…Good luck

Do what you think is right for you and your kids. My personal opinion is that you don’t feel comfortable with it or you would not be asking! When the time and decision is right for you it will not matter what anybody else thinks!

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If it makes u happy go for it. Don’t let others’ judgement and comments stop u from being happy.

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Live your life. Don’t worry what others say. You know what is good for your kids and what is not. Go live

You have been alone alot longer then a year its time to be happy don’t worry what others think or say its not their life

I honestly think it depends on how soon is too soon. If we’re talking 2 weeks yeah its gonna look bad. 6 mths or more nah go for it.

Not wrong at all. Take it slow and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.

I was with my ex from 14 years old to 28. I was abused in every way you can imagine. We split in april 2014 and I started talking to someone late june. We met in August and I was head over heels. I told my kids he was my friend at the beginning but then he asked their permission to become my boyfriend. He moved in in october 2014 and we were due to get married may 2016 but I was in a coma on life support dec 3rd 2015 to jan 3rd 2016 so we postponed until may 2017. No one knows what the future holds so if you can have happiness then go for it xxx

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Love yourself first and all things will be added to you :heart:

Its your life…i say see someone else

First of all check their backgrounds check , be friend and dont get in rush for serious relationship.

If I in your shoes I will very careful whom I met and I probably wait until my kids older. Today so many crazy people out there , predators towards children, I always cautious , it is not always about my happiness but always about my kids first.

If my kids aren’t happy and suffering then I am not happy.

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Only you can decide this no one else is control of your desission. You are capable of following your heart and intuition. No one else should be making life decessions for you. You are enough and you are worthy of unconditional love.

Go slow & not your families business until it becomes serious. Don’t introduce him to your children for at least six months.

My only concern was safety. It sounds like you can be reasonably sure he’s safe, so I’d go for it. Don’t let worrying about what people might think about you, stop you from being happy. And Valentine’s day is around the corner…

Do you live your life for everyone else or do you live your life for you? No it’s not wrong and a year is plenty of time. Live for you girl. Don’t worry about what anyone else will say. If it makes you happy then they should be happy for you!

It’s your life, your decision. The only opinions that should matter are the opinions of your kiddos.

If he’s a good man, and he’s doing well for himself, why not? Just take it slow.

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I would but I wouldn’t bring him around my children for some time. But this me I don’t do that.

Yes you deserve to be happy

I left my ex asap for the man who is now my husband lol :woman_shrugging: when you know you know :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Kids first. Men can wait

Just don’t start living together, and don’t get pregnant.

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Do what makes you happy

I wouldn’t be quick to bring him around your kids but casual dates are always nice. It’s when females jump into relationships and want the kids to call the dude daddy after 3 days and they move in together after a month and pop out another baby together in less then a year that it starts to look a little wonky

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Does he make you happy?? Treat you like a queen??? Go slow!!!

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Your life. Do what you want

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You absolutely deserve to be happy. My only advice is not to get your children attached to someone you don’t intend to be with for the long run.

Mama… you have every right in the world to be with someone who makes you happy. My only advice would be to not bring him around until you are absolutely certain that this is someone you want in yours and your kids life. Take it slow, enjoy the small things… you deserve happiness and love.

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You’re a grown adult just be wise

If your old enough to have 3 children, your old enough to make your own decisions. Your family should have no say.

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I had to make this decision myself and my best advice is to let this be your decision and not your family or friends. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you can’t have a life. And just because you start dating doesn’t mean you bring him into your kids life. Take that part slow.

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my fiance knew me when I had my first even hung a bit with my ex… started dating when my middle was 3 months. have an 8 month old and get married the end of this month :heart_eyes: my best friend.

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You deserve to be happy momma! Take things slow and easy. It’s been a whole year since your last relationship I think you’ve waited long enough

Put your kids first for awhile leave relationships alone for awhile l e t your self heal from the last one don’t be in a hurry

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While yes, your kids come first and that means doing what is in their best interest and keeping them safe. That does not mean your life is over and you don’t deserve happiness.

I would thoroughly investigate the guy. You state you’ve known him for a long time still run that background check and fingerprints. Make sure he is living a clean legal honest lifestyle.

Go on dates, truly get to know him on that more personal intimate level. I would not introduce the kids to him for a long while. Make sure the relationship is positive happy healthy stable and serious before introducing the children.

Take it slow, enjoy the dating life, maybe even date around and not immediately jump into a serious relationship.

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Do w.e u wanna do, just cause u have kids dont mean u cant be happy and do what makes u happy, your life doesn end just cause u have babies!

Your life, if it feels right go for it.

Go for it! Let your happiness be sparked again :heart:

Start slow. But I say go for it

You can have a relationship and still worry about your kids try to b find some one that likes your kids if they don’t take the package deal then they are a piece of crap I would not have anyone that didn’t like my kids they come first in my life

Do what makes you happy

Got with my husband he had three children. Was with him 10 months got married. The children are 49,46,52 and they call me there mom a.till this day. I love them very much.

Don’t worry about what other people think, but for me, it would be a long time before he met or hung out with my kids. One piece of advice from experience, if this is the first man since your ex, be very careful since this is your rebound and thus you may fall for him very quickly (not necessarily a bad thing as that new lust can put so much pep back in your step :fire::heart_eyes:, just something to be self aware of). Take your time and ENJOY!!

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You put your kids first when you decided to to leave a back & forth confusing relationship. And as I’m sure the kids & your family have adjusted to that, they will adjust to dating, the choice is something yours not your families! You don’t have to bring into your children’s lives until you are sure he’s the one that’s gonna stick!

It doesn’t matter what other people think. Do YOU want it?

Life is to short. If they treat you and your kids great go for it. Love does not have a Pacific time. Someone is always going to talk. Are you letting them talk you out of happiness?

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I left my husband and started dating someone a few weeks later. Yes everyone thought I was crazy, yes I probably was, but it’s been over a year our kids have all been amazing getting along, we’re buying a house and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Who cares what people think as long as your there for your kids then I say go for it!

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There’s no shame in moving on if he knows that you have multiple children and is willing to accept them then go for it. As long as they’re going to treat you right and the kids right there is nothing wrong with moving on

Investigate the guys, background check… talk to the guys ex’s too. Sounds weird but I’ve done it. Most times the women are nice and will be forthcoming and understand where you’re coming from.

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I think that you children are too young, & need the time with you, that you would want to give a new relationship. A lot of men would not like to be tied down to young children, especially that are not his. In my opinion, children, at such a young age, should be a priority…

I say why not. My fiance was my roommate 7 years ago, and we got together the first night I moved in. 3 weeks later we moved to oregon. 5 months later I was pregnant. We’ve been together since, carrying his 2nd. I say you do you, sometimes it’s just meant to be. Won’t ever know if you don’t try.

You have every right to have a partner. A year is absolutely a good time frame to get yours and your childrens life in order after a breakup. Dont deny yourself happiness based on what others think. You deserve to be in a loving caring nurturing relationship.

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Live how YOU want to. Don’t worry about what others think as long as your kids are well taken care of then that’s all you need to worry about. Nobody has the right you tell you how you should live. Live your life for you and your kids and finding someone to make you happy is part of that. Your kids need a happy mom

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Do what makes you happy. Don’t rush into anything. Make sure this person makes you happy. If any red flags run.

To keep yourself from getting hurt I would take it slow, with a grain of salt in what he says to you. Have a couple 9f dates just you and him. Then you could bring the kids in slowly. You dont want them to get to attached and things not work out. They have lost one Daddy and it could hurt them if for some reason this one had yo leave. I would keep my self open to dating casualty. You sure dont want 4 kids on your own. Best of luck.

Dating is fine but be very careful who you let into your childrens life…

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