Would you send your child to the other parent’s house if they had the flu? My daughter has been feeling unwell for the past few days and was tested positive for the flu. Her dad thinks she should still come to his house since we have a court order, and it’s his weekend. I personally don’t think she should go anywhere until she is feeling better… Am I right? Or is he?
Before I had my own kid I would’ve said she should still go. Dad can care for her while sick. BUT now, having my own, I don’t think I could do it knowing my son would be much more comfortable with me
I think shes sick and should be at home. What kind if a visit is it if shes sick? To maybe make up for it tell him he can have an extra day or something but hes being selfish.
Well since that is his child too I think that he should be able to take care of her when she is sick. It’s not a sleep over it’s the child’s father
It’s a court order. I don’t not recommend “fuck around and find out” when it comes to a court order.
But I’m surprised the dad is insisting
He is right he is just as capable of taking care of the child. My husband has 2 kids from a previous marriage we still get them when they are sick it is going to happen quite a lot through your childs life. Think of it this way how would you feel if he said your child couldn’t return to your house till they were feeling better i bet you would throw a fit and demand the child back. Plus a little side note you can actually get in trouble for not sending the child and denying him his parental time/rights.
If he was concerned he would leave her home. If she was sick at his house would you take her home to your house? No you wouldn’t. It works both ways. She stays where she is until she’s better.
Don’t give in
It’s contempt if you withhold her no matter what your reason is… You both have to agree
Send her. He can clean up the barf. It’s His child too. Be happy with the fact that when she returns, she might be well again. Make a cup of tea mom; and enjoy your weekend off.
His days are his days
How old is she? Why don’t you ask her what she wants to do?
Unless you feel she will not receive adequate care and be neglected while she’s there, it’s best to comply. If you feel this to be the case and plan on withholding her, be prepared with your ducks in a row to have times dates and specific examples to indicate why you feel this way that are more serious than “he made her wait three minutes before getting her soup and I would’ve gotten it immediately.” And finally, do a little soul searching and ask if this is more about mama bears wish to keep her close so she feels more in control of the situation, and that maybe mama is more afraid of feeling powerless than she is that anything is genuinely going to happen.
I would assume since you haven’t mentioned that dad is an ogre, and you have no issues with her going any other time, that the only realistic thing to do is point out the judge is going to tell you she can rest on his couch same as yours, and to send her, so you may as well save yourself the hassle and relent.
I mean come on, if y’all were together hed help her feel better if hes a good dad. I do understand she may not feel up to going, but she could be just as comfortable there
It’s a flu, not the plauge. A small car drive over and she’ll get settle back down no problem. I have to take my kid to and from my mom’s and grandma’s houses when she is sick as well just so I can go to work. She’ll be fine
If he is capable to take care of his child, why not?
Uhh yes. She’ll be sick where ever she goes. Her dad wants to see her and be a dad. You should be thankful and not find reasons to keep her from him.
If he actually thought about his child he would know when feeling ill a child would want her mom. He just wants to be selfish and not putting his child’s needs before his own.
My child would NEVER leave Me sick… Hate on Me if ya want to…
If he still wants to see her even though she’s sick and she still want to go over there too I don’t see it as an issue?
Part of being a parent is dealing with the good and bad. Comforting your child when she’s sick. You need to step back and let dad be a parent too.
There’s not enough info here. How old is she? Are there other kids at his house shell contaminate? Does he work and have to take her to daycare or something during the day where as mom can just stay home with her? Theres a lot of variables. But you could suggest he take her for a longer weekend, maybe an extra day, next week when she’s feeling better and come spend the afternoon with her at your house.
You are right nobody is going to take care of her better than you her mom
Let him get sick if he wants. Then when he says he can’t take her cuz he’s sick, tell him he has to cuz it’s “court ordered”.
Because you think you’re a better parent than him and can care for her better than him? Stop trying to find reasons to keep her from her dad. Hes just as capable as you are. Sounds more like YOU have an internal need to care for her rather than letting her father care for her… Get a therapist and deal with your control issues.
He is her dad and should be able to care for her even if she is unwell
There’s a court order enough said trust
Personally she can rest in bed at any house. He’s no less capable than you.
He knows she tested positive for the flu and he still wants to get her. I’m sure he is perfectly capable of taking care of her the weekend. You can call and text and check in on her.
I understand wanting to keep a sick kid home where you can Care for them. But he can take care of her too dear. not sure why he’d want to expose himself to the flu if he doesn’t have to. maybe he just wants his share of the parenting responsibilities.
Excuses like this is probably why there is a court order in place.
Can never understand why some people have to be asses when you comment…There are other things to be considered as people have pointed out…I hardly think this women thinks she can take better care than the dad she obviously is,worried about her daughter who has the FLU!!!
He loves her as much as you do. Let him take care of her. Give him a chance to do something important here. Tell him to give you a call if he’s not sure about something and build some trust/respect. Even if it kills you. (Been there done that). I promise it’ll help things go smoother.
You lost me at court order. It doesn’t matter what you feel or anything as unfortunate as that is but you must follow the rules.
She should stay home to recover
He knows a doctor’s office just like you do. Let the child be with her dad.
Sorry but Nope, she’d stay home. Take me back to court if you want. There are plenty of other times she can go over there when she’s feeling better. Switch weekends. He should understand it’s what’s best for his child not himself.
No Let the child rest
Is anyone thinking of the daughter here… She has flu… Aches and pains, fever… Maybe she would be better off in her bed until she’s better court order or not
If mine have the flu and are feeling pretty bad, they stay home but its more for their comfort than anything. If they are feeling ok they go but that they rest while they are there as well.
There was no court orders for me but I kept mine home, she was never able to rest there as there was 2 little kids and she used to get dragged out and about when unwell, and she preferred to stay home
I don’t everyone saying “keep her home” like her dad’s home isn’t also her home? I understand us moms wanting to be with our baby when they’re sick, but don’t (good) dads feel the same way and have the same rights?
If dad is responsible and can care for their chil, why not?
I’m sure he is also capable of taking care of a sick child.
I don’t understand everyone on here saying “let him have her” etc. Glad you’re all thinking of the sick child here… It isn’t about the dad in this case. She’s ill and you would all just lob her about to take her to another bed “cause he’s just as cabable as the mother”? If I was in your shoes I would ask my daughter if she wants to go. If she’s willing to go stay at her dad’s while ill that’s fine, but I wouldn’t make her go somewhere when ill if she’d rather stay. Simple as that.
Let him have her then when he catches the flu from her he’ll have a case of man flu.
That’s how he’ll learn the lesson.
Dad has rights too. You can always call and check on her.
Personally I ask my children when in this situation there 7&8 and dad is just as capable as I am to look after them … but I’m also more than happy if they want to stay home …and dad supports this if it’s what the kids want!! We also have a court order but ultimately it’s what the child/ren want when there feeling crappy …
I think she should stay home especially if he is not living alone even for their health… wish her a speedy recovery
Her dad’s home is still home… or is the dad living in the streets? Dads are capable too… my dad took care of me when I was sick n mom wasn’t around
What is she going to be doing at your house that she can’t do at her dads? If he’s a good father I’d let her go. Her dads house is her home too. She can relax and rest just the same at her home there as she can at yours. I don’t understand acting like he’s a stranger or something and he can’t take care of his daughter while she’s sick. He knows she is sick and has the flu, what do you think he’s going to do? What does she want to do?
Should be up to the kid.
I mean if she still has a fever - she is contagious. Anyone in their household can get the flu. I would make sure he knows that.
Can’t go against a court order unfortunately.
Yeah, if it’s court ordered - you have to send her. If he’s willing to care for her sick - that should be a good thing.
I would offer to swap weekends. Most kiddos want mommy when they are sick. If he refuses, not much can be done. Praying for a quick healing.
Maybe ask him to switch weekends with you so she can stay home until she is feeling better. Maybe even two weekends in a row just so he goes along with it. Co parenting is all compromise!
Legally, she has to go. Personally I’d let her go anyways. If you weren’t separated, he’d be caring for her while she’s sick just like you are.
Offer to swap weekends. Hes probably just doesn’t wanna loose time
If it wasn’t court ordered I would say keep her with you but seeing as it’s court ordered you literally have to send her. It’s such a tricky situation. You are right to an extent but you also do not want keeping her on his court ordered days to be used against you later.
He has a right to nourish her back to health . Thats bonding time.
No i mean she sick let her get better first
I’d ask my child if they want to go. It’s all about the kid.
I guess its just like if she got sick at his house, would you be ok with his decision to keep her there, when it was your scheduled time with her? He has every right to see his child, sick or otherwise. Courts will not see a flu as a reason to keep her from him, she would have to be hospitalised or vomiting or the runs for not to go.
Look at your parenting agreement. It should specify what to do.
He is her father! Jesus Christ. You had a child with him. Trust him to care for her. He has as much right as you do. Grow up
He’s also a parent and also wants to take care of his sick kid. I say he has every right to have the child unless the child is old enough to say they’d rather ride the flu out at your home under your care.
Facts or feelings? Facts are if you do not comply with court order you are un the wrong and police can be called to enforce order.
Now feelings, it is smarter to keep her in one spot to lessen contamination and if both parents agree to being smart then awesome you can maybe negotiate different time with dad
But like I said before if he is not willing then cour order says its dads time period
Dads are just as capable for caring for sick children just as much as moms are. If the situation was reverse, you would likely still want your child sick or not
How old is she? Ask her if she wants to go.
If willing I would ask to switch weekends. I would also say that if she has a fever remind him she is still contagious so maybe she should stay with you until she is better. Frame it as more protecting his household. He might understand that way. But if he doesn’t then since it is court ordered I would let her go.
a dad that WANTS HIS KID.he knows shes sick.he still wants her over.why would you even consider interfering with that.so many kids out there NOT wanted by their dads.
I didn’t send mine when sick I also told him she was sick and said ok we were court ordered visitation as well . But we kinda worked ut out
He is just as capable of taking care of his sick child as you are.
If he wants to take care of his sick child on his days allow him.
But now he dont see her she was between 3&5 when saw her last then .and now she almost 25 and hasn’t seen her sense like said 3 and 5
If something like this happened at my house, I’d tell him she can come the following weekend. It’s very important to stick to your word as well!
Some court orders have certain policies about kids being sick during another parents time. Maybe read your court order and it might say. If it doesn’t say anything you would have to send her and let him take care of her.
She is his child just as much as yours. If you two weren’t separated he would be caring for her while she’s sick too so why should it be different now? Just because parents split doesn’t mean the mother should have all the say.
He is still father and probably just as capable of taking care of his sick daughter just as you are. I don’t see a reason for you to keep her if he still wants to spend his time with her.
Dads are just as capable to take care of their sick children. Don’t go golden uterus just because she’s sick. If my Children were sick and their daddy wanted them guess what? Here you go. Have fun watching movies and eating chicken noodle soup!
How old is she? Does she want to go? Dad’s can take care of sick kids too.
If he wants her to come to his house while she is sick. It is his weekend. So let him be a parents and help take care of your sick child.
Theres no reason she shouldn’t
Talk to each other and also discuss with your daughter (depending on her age) with what she wants to do.
A child should not expose more family members to the flu especially in these times . They feel better in their own daily environment when they are sick .
Um so the dad can’t be a dad unless the child is healthy ?? Lol ridiculous send the child. He’s the parent too!
Let her you could take that time to sanitize everything
Maybe you could keep her home while she’s sick and give daddy an extra week with her, if that’s a possibility?? Not saying that he isn’t capable of caring for her but to keep him from getting sick as well. Does he have any other children to be concerned about getting sick too?
How about ask your daughter if she feels well enough to go? Or if she just doesn’t want to move?
Since it’s court ordered, I would try to negotiate, but if that failed, you would be wrong not to send her. What a tough situation to be in, momma! I would ask to switch weekends and explain that you in no way are trying to lessen his time with her, but are merely saying that you want to do what’s best for your child while she is really sick (if she just had the sniffles, sure, I’d send her without arguing, but the flu can be nasty).
He is the dad and quite capable of taking care of her while sick. If he is happy to have her sick then why not
You have a court order send them. Or he gets extra time later. Which ever the DAD wants
I think you should stick to the order. Obviously he has been made aware of his child’s illness and will accommodate. You would want your child regardless of illness on your time.
Depending on age and if the child wants to would be factors, but if the child is up for it and the other parent wants to help, let it happen. If not then agree to reschedule for the sake of the kiddo. Just communicate between everyone and everyone wins. The child is sick and contagious with the flu. End of the day, the child is effected and you do what’s best for the child.
It’s the law I understand you thought when you have a sick child they like to stay home in bed especially with the flu. It has nothing to do with if dad can take care of her or not it’s the comfort of the child going out. My kids don’t like to drive in cars or go anywhere while sick. Plus I don’t like to take my kids out and infect more people. But send her if he don’t care and if his home ends up getting the flu it’s not your fault
He is right. She can have the flu at your house but not his? Any time a father would like to have his kids, he should be able to have them.
I couldn’t ever imagine telling my children’s father her can’t have them, for any reason.
No wonder so many guys get fed up…golden uteruses everywhere.
All of my 3 kids as well as myself had norovirus on Christmas day last year. The oldest started throwing up at like 9am then the middle around noon me around 4 and the youngest at about 9 or 10. Fast acting but draining. My ex husband was supposed to get the older two at 5p. Neither of the kids felt up to the ride bc of vomiting. I let it be there decision and told them to talk to him. Ultimately they went 24 hrs later and I let them stay 24 hrs past court ordered time. As long as you have a make up plan in place then you shouldn’t be held in contempt of court. We live 2 hrs apart so them being in a car puking for 2 hours was the decider for them. If your child can handle the commute send them. Worst case scenario the dad comes down with the flu too. He needs to parent through it like we would.
Some of you women are DUMB🤦♀️ not the orginal poster but the ones saying he’s capable of taking care of her. That wasn’t the question. If the little girl is sick, she should stay put until she feels better, why make the poor thing go to another place and what not while shes sick? The dad is selfish for even trying to make her come to his house especially when most times, alot of kids want mommy when they’re sick. Talk to the dr, see what they say. Dont listen to fb moms.
He is her dad. My kids go to their dad on days they are sick when it Is his day with them. Lol like really this is a question. It’s not a friends house
I have always told my ex if the kids are feeling horrible and need rest to keep them for an extra day or whatever they need. Also if there is bad weather. I’d rather not risk my children getting sicker or hurt. Now he sent pur daughter to my home when she was sick. I ended up taking her to the ER the next morning and she pneumonia.