Should I send my child to her dads while she has the flu?

If he’s willing to take care of her let him

If he’s ok with it, I don’t think you really have a choice. He has the legal right to take her, and he is willing, so you can’t legally say no, sick or not. He’s her parent, too, and the fighting will only cause her more stress.

Sorry to say but you’re a total bitch.
Using your child’s sickness as an excuse to be petty towards your ex.
Hes a parent too.
That’s his kid.
Theres no reason whatsoever she shouldnt go.
He can take care of her just as well if not better than you can.
Dont use her as an excuse to get away with being a bitter bitch

Unless he’s somehow incapable of looking after her when she’s sick she should go and clearly his home is also her home too, your home is not her only home when you share children, she can rest there as well

he obviously doesn’t understand that sick kids should rest she doesn’t need to be traveling or moving around she needs to be in bed sleep resting up

2 Likes

Everybody commenting that he’s just as capable of taking care of their sick kid as the mother, are really annoying me. Do you people know this man? He could be pretty useless. You don’t know.

2 Likes

OMG y’all are so retarded wanting her to spread the flu like are you stupid or what

1 Like

Well if it was my ex he would be like im capable of taking care of her so yeh send her own but really I wouldn’t want to why pass a kid back and fourth when they have the flu keep her in one spot and don’t let it spread would be the reasonable thing but when u have have the other pushing it it would be hard but if the other parent really cared they would say look take care of her and she can come another time .

2 Likes

But no your not wrong

Ask him to switch weekends with you and maybe he will agree? But “legally” it is his weekend. But asking won’t hurt.

Of course she should. He’s a parent to. Why can’t he take care of her?

1 Like

Sorry, sick or not, it’s his court ordered weekend. :woman_shrugging:t2: Unless he wishes to give it up but it doesn’t sound like he will willingly.

1 Like

Maybe she doesn’t have the “He’s not capable, etc” state of mind, that some of you think they have. I mean if my child had the flu, I wouldn’t want to take them anywhere that’s just at anytime they’re sick. Plus, exposing others to it is a bad idea. I mean if you have to, by the court’s ruling to take her, then you need to, but if you guys can work something out, given the child’s state, it would be in the child’s best interest for them to not be out and about, while sick and contagious. This is just my opinion, only.

3 Likes

That’s the child’s parent. Why would she not go?? Unless he has another child or family member in the house they are worried could get sick or is immunocompromised. I’m confused as to why this is even up for debate??

3 Likes

Offer to trade for next weekend if she can stay home this weekend
And feel better for next weekend.

Ask her if she wants to go ?

2 Likes

I have a solid rule. My kid does NOT travel when sick. Cold is whatever, but the flu is serious. I don’t care if she’s supposed to come to my house or his.

This shit is why the flu kills so many people every year lol if you’re sick, stay put.

I wouldn’t because I wouldn’t want to get my exes 4 other kids sick or his wife who has to take care of them. My ex seems to prefer me taking care of our kids while sick anyways. I would switch weekends with him.

Personally, if I had the flu, I would want to stay in bed and wouldn’t want to travel anywhere. How old is your child? If they’re not up to travelling, I would try to rearrange with their dad rather than disrupt them. If he has the child’s best interests at heart then he should understand.

So of y’all forget the flu kills hundreds of thousands of people every year and is extremely contagious lol

Depending on how old your child is, just ask her where she wants to lay on the couch/bed while she’s sick. If she says she want to go to her dads, welp :woman_shrugging:t2:

1 Like

If it’s court order and you refuse all he has to do is call the cops on you. :woman_shrugging:t3: honestly if he wants to take care of his sick kid and help you out just take a well deserved mommy break. I know as moms we want to do everything ourselves and be the superhero to our babies but honestly it’s ok to allow the child’s other parent to step up to the plate.

5 Likes

Shame on him! It’s all about him and his court order, not the sick child who would probably be more comfortable in her own bed.

3 Likes

If the child came down with the flu on his weekend, would you still want the child back when the weekend was over, or would you allow the child to stay there until better. Think about what you would do if the situation was the other way around.

3 Likes

Parents should really stop with the “It’s MY weekend”. Actually, it’s the child’s weekend. The father should ask to speak to her and tell her he knows she is sick and be flexible by asking her who’s house would she rather be sick at…and then respect her answer!

3 Likes

I would let the child decide. How sick is she? If she is able to get up and move around she would be fine going. If she is sick enough to be bedridden then in her bed she would stay.

1 Like

He is right. Consider if it was reversed and she got sick at his house ? Could he keep her till she’s well and you not see her?.

9 Likes

Ask your child what they want. Personally I wouldn’t only bc my ex has another child plus there are two other babies in his household. I would just switch weekends with him for when your child is feeling better!

If the kid has the flu why would you want her goin anywhere? Her health is more important. Let him have another weekend to make up for it

I would not let the child go while she is sick

1 Like

While I sympathize hon it took the both of yall to make her and unless there’s a reason otherwise I dont see why he couldn’t be trusted to care for her and keep you updated on her.

2 Likes

Why is this even a question? Said child should be at home resting and drinking water. Not be jumping back and forth between houses. :thinking:

3 Likes

I would keep her home, I ho wants to run around when not feeling well

2 Likes

Ask your child…if she wants to go…ask her while her dad is on video call…so that he would now what she wants.besides…the welfare of the child comes first…if she’s not comfortable…why insist it.(the Dad)if she says OK…then let her go…

All you people saying she would rather be sick in her own bed forget it is her own bed at her dads house too… he wants to be apart of her life even though she is sick let him go and be a dad. Rarely do dads want to do the sick child duties i think give credit where it is due he clearly wants to spend time even if it is just cuddling his sick little girl.

14 Likes

If she is old enough I would ask her what she wanted to do

1 Like

He’s dad. Capable of taking care of her. If there aren’t other kids or immune compromised people there concerned about getting sick, send her

6 Likes

I believe your right she should stay home home till she’s better

1 Like

Considering when our kids get sick especially our daughter, their dad already knows and will agree that they need to stay in bed and not even get up. When she gets sick, it triggers her migraines so it’s best to let her sleep it completely off. There’s no reason in getting her in the car to drive 40 minutes to meet him for him to drive another 20 minutes all to stop for her to puke. Naw!! Not happening… I’m so glad that our kids have an understanding father. He wants to be there for them but he also knows that it’s rough on the kids to go through all of that if they’re sick. Robby Goolsby, what’s your thoughts?

Typically a court order has an exception for a sick child. Keep her home, and offer him his days as soon as she is well.
We are also in the midst of a pandemic. The less exposure to anything is better.

3 Likes

If he wants her and she wants to go then🤷‍♀️

1 Like

No you shouldn’t send her. She’s sick she needs to be home getting better. You can send her with him when she is feeling better. Her health is more important than him missing one weekend. Put your daughter first.

Don’t put your child in the place of asking her to choose. She’s a child and that’s a toxic thing to do. Dads are just as capable of taking care of sick children and they need to feel that care. It’s literally best for your child to allow that.

4 Likes

If the child doesn’t feel well enough to go, then no. If she feels ok and wants to go and he’s willing to chance catching the flu then that’s his choice and let her go. You might want him to sign a paper saying he knows she’s positive and wants to take her anyhow…just in case.

Do you think your house is more of a home to your daughter than her fathers house is a home to her? In other words, you may believe that your house is her true home. So you feel it’s crucial that she stay with you when she’s sick.
If the situation were flipped and your daughter got sick at her fathers, would you allow her to stay at his house instead of go with you.
I think it’s important to consider that when a father is asking to see his child it’s important not only to honor that bond but nourish it too. When you push and push a parent from your child’s life you create a hostile and distant relationship for your child and the other parent.

3 Likes

You guys say stay home when shes sick but that’s her home too. And hes a parent too fully capable of taking care of a child. I mean be a little cautious and make sure he has tylenol and vicks and a thermometer etc incase he needs to use any of it or give him some when you guys make the exchange. Maybe he just wants to spend time with her still…

3 Likes

You have to do what’s best for the child and going back and forth isn’t the best thing trying to recover from any illness… what I did was let the child video chat or talk on the phone but I kept him home.

I think it depends what type of dad he is. If he’s going to take care of her just like you would then I don’t see the problem in sending her. Now, if that’s not the case then maybe video chat so he can see how much better it would be for her to stay with you.

2 Likes

If dad is willing to help share the load of a sick child i dont see an issue. Being away from the usual home can have benefits of distracting her from it and recovering quickly too. It can also go the other way. Do what you think is best.

1 Like

No your not. He can take care of her as much as you can…

3 Likes

Your child’s health is more important than a court order, make an arrangement that she go visit again as soon as he/she is well again

1 Like

If there’s a court order you don’t have a choice. If she’s sick and he’s willing to help care for her you should be grateful. I’ve never kept my daughter from her dad and neither should you.

4 Likes

How old is she? Ask her if she feels well enough to go. At a certain age kids have say despite a court order.

2 Likes

I wouldn’t care about a court order. If my child was sick they would stay home and dad would need to understand that they are sick and I’m just not keeping them from him. Tell him he can come over and visit! Bring some soup and they can have lunch together.

If you have a statement from the doctor I would send a copy of it to his lawyer and explain in a letter this is why I’m not sending her this weekend and if she’s better by the following weekend trade weekends

Regardless of whether or not he’s capable of taking care of her , a sick child shouldn’t be forced to move around. She needs to stay put & rest. He’s very selfish for making her come over.

1 Like

If dad wants to spend time with her, there should be no problem for your daughter to go. She has the flu, which I’m sure he can handle taking care of her.

5 Likes

He is her parent too! That is her other home, with her other parent. Dads are just as capable to care for a sick child. Pack her meds, pass along doctors instructions, and ask under the circumstances, she stay on touch.

5 Likes

Nope if they were sick they stayed home.

He is right. You are not. The flu is common. Denying him time when he is well aware of what care she’ll need says a lot about you :zipper_mouth_face: The fact that so many of you feel that she can better care for the child than the father when it should be equal makes me wonder who yall had kids with. Sick or not, stick to the order. Life happens.

18 Likes

Wow, she should stay put. She is not well.

Unfortunately I think if it is a court order you have to follow it. :woman_shrugging: Too bad Dad isn’t more understanding and has the little one’s best interest in mind. Hope she feels better soon!

38 Likes

I say if she isn’t laid out in bed and he is fine with taking care of her then let her go. He is her caretaker too. Moms are not the only ones who can do it. It’s his weekend and regardless, he has to learn how to Care for her in all stages. So, wrap that baby in a blanket and give him her medicines so he can snuggle with his baby!

91 Likes

My step daughter gets sent here when she’s sick, because my husband is her other parent. He is able to care for her and dote on her and aid in her recovery just like her mother can. Unless it’s an insanely long car ride that she will be vomiting on the whole way there, I would send her.

57 Likes

yes. fathers can and should nurture their children too. His time is a precious with her as the moms is.

122 Likes

I’d say since dad is asking for her and there is a court order you should send… those saying dad is being selfish need to ask themselves would you expect him to give daughter back if she got sick during his weekend? No you all would be saying mom needs to get her back using that same court order as reason

93 Likes

Technically. You send her whether she is sick or not. But i definitely understand. When my bfs son is sick, i prefer for him to stay wherever he gets sick. To avoid exposure to any other kids on either side. Having the flu is awful. I would hate to make her go somewhere if she is sick.

10 Likes

How old is the child? I’d ask my child if they want to go. If not I’d offer him the following weekend. So you get his weekend while she’s sick. He gets yours next weekend, and he gets his following weekend. It works for us. Good luck!

56 Likes

It doesn’t matter one bit what anyone thinks. It doesn’t even matter which parent is right. Once the words court order were stated the question was answered. Not a thing she can do if he says he wants her. If they have a court order and she tries to keep the child he can call a cop, show them the order and they will tell her she has to hand over the child. Than he can turn around and get her for contempt. Sick or not, unless it’s actually covid and not the flu, she has to let her go.

29 Likes

Depends if he has other family if she has half siblings I wouldn’t put it he’s at risk despite other people saying he’s a great father don’t sound normal why would he want to get sick and miss work . I know as a mother you wNg her home so you can take care of her .

4 Likes

Maybe the child should be asked what she would like and be more comfortable with. All these parents are so concerned with who is right and who is wrong. Good lord.

102 Likes

Kind of a difficult one. Maybe just tell him to take things easy on her since she’s sick. Hopefully he will treat his baby like… A baby… And do the right thing. Which is coddle her and care for her and make sure she gets lots of rest. While spending time with his child. As a parent, I’m sure he wants to be there for her when she needs it, too.

13 Likes

This shouldn’t be about “it’s my time” or not for either one …this should be how your daughter feels and if she feels like going anywhere (not sure how old she is) but this is when parents (who are not together) need to communicate maturely and do what’s best for the child…it doesn’t last forever

48 Likes

If there is a court order i imagine he could take you to court if he doesn’t get her, regardless if she’s sick or not. He would need to give her the proper medicine and communication between you two is of utmost importance. My daughter had the flu early this year and was still sent to her dads on the schedule we had in place, but he was aware of her having the flu and given her medicine as well as the measurements and what she had taken already before he had gotten her.

6 Likes

Uhm if he’s asking for her to come home, let him take care of her. We have to start normalizing dads being caregivers. Plus, if you refuse to let her go, he can hold you in contempt.

9 Likes

Unfortunately its a court order. You could be held in contempt if you don’t let her go. Maybe try and talk with dad and see if he’ll just switch this weekend. Hope your little one feels better soon.

7 Likes

I would keep her home until she’s completely over the flu. Then maybe give day some extra time with her for the days he missed because she was sick.

18 Likes

No I’d keep her home. No sense in spreading it. And anyone who sick wants to be HOME AMD WANTS THEIR MOMMY!

12 Likes

Its the flu, let dad catch his end of sick child care and the flu too!
I struggled through the same thoughts when my 2 were younger. You think only you can give them the best care and you want them to be comfy. As long as dad provides properly and cares for them… let the child puke in dad’s bed for a change​:slightly_smiling_face::v:

31 Likes

If he’s willing to take her , why wouldn’t you let him take her? Sounds like a great father!
It’s also a court order, not your decision. I also hope your daughter feels better!

90 Likes

Dad should have the opportunity to help take care of lil one even when she isn’t feeling well…

5 Likes

I would think both parents would want the child to stay put and get rest. You feel miserable with the flu. You can always make up weekends. Don’t be selfish.

8 Likes

With or without a court order, he is still the father. Unless there is a safety issue, the child should visit. He of course has to know so he can care for his child accordingly. Allow him to parent his child in all situations not just wellness or fun activities.

5 Likes

When kids are sick, they don’t need to be shuffled around from place to place. There shouldn’t be an issue for the child to stay put as long as illness is the legitimate reason. That way child can rest, and get better and the illness doesn’t get spread around to more people. Offer to change up weekends or extra time after kid is sick to make up for it…

3 Likes

I’m lucky enough that my daughter’s father usually let’s me decide if I want to send her there is she’s sick so majority of the time I just keep her cuz he usually doesn’t want her to come if she’s sick but if he’s capable of taking care of her while she has the flu and he’s ok with taking the risk of her spreading it then I would let him take her and love on her.

3 Likes

Dunno bout other ppl but when I’m sick I wanna stay in my bed and to hell with the world. Ask the child how they feel and the adults need to respect the child’s decision on whether they want to leave the house or not.

16 Likes

He is still her dad. He should be able to care for her if she is sick. Maybe he wants her to know that he is there for her too when she isn’t feeling well and that it’s not just mommy’s job.

9 Likes

… why wouldn’t she go?
He is capable of taking care of her just like you are. He wants to see his daughter on his day, sick or not. If y’all were still together would you have pushed him to stay in a hotel when she fell ill?? No, so there is zero difference.

10 Likes

It’s a court order, why is this even a question? Hes wanting to see his child. Why would you ask this on Facebook? Can’t you decide that in your head. Technically if you don’t let him see the child, you can get in trouble. He obviously loves his kid because he ain’t scared of no flu.

17 Likes

What does she want? If she’s sick and just wants to stay at your house let her. If she says she’s ok to go to dads than let her do that

8 Likes

I let my ex know our daughter is sick and it’s up to him if he wants to take her or not.
If he can comfort her and take care of her, I don’t see a problem.

6 Likes

I wouldn’t. Poor kid needs to rest & he needs to chill it’s nobody’s fault she’s sick. I’m sorry you’re going through that

5 Likes

No! If she’s sick she shouldn’t go anywhere. I was divorced and we never forced a child to visit the other parent when they were sick.

5 Likes

My thoughts are to keep that child home with me until she gets over the flu.when my child is sick to me no body can take better care of than me(mom)

6 Likes

Definitely not. Keep her home until she is better. He can trade weekends. Even have 3 back to back. Her health is more important

4 Likes

From what I was told is it’s his duty too as a parent to care for her while she’s sick and the judge would see it that way.

5 Likes

Dad still has rights to see kid sick or not and if she’s sick he can care for her

4 Likes

The courts would make you send her. The judge would say the father could care for her too. Mine went through a bone marrow transplant and the judge still made me send him. If things go badly just make sure you document it

4 Likes

No she shouldn’t go.
Ask to make up the weekends (he can have two in a row?)

5 Likes

I would not send her. I would keep her home where she is comfortable in her own bed and where I could take care of her needs. Dads being very selfish. Putting his needs before his child’s needs

7 Likes