when kids are ill they should be resting not traipsing around everywhere regardless of a court order, if she has a high fever or any other symptoms she should be staying home, the dad should understand that otherwise I would bring it to the courts attention or your lawyers the dad disregarded his daughters health and welfare
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I can tell you from first hand experience …court order or not , if the child sick it depends on how sick she is and how feels about where she wants to be .
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Personally I would keep her home and would see if he would agree to the following weekend if she feels better
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why contaminate another household? keep her home she can go when feeling better
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He can also care for his daughter. So you should send her. He is fully capable of caring for his sick child.
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I would totally be comfortable sending my son to his dads if he was sick. I know he would take care of him just as well as I can. His dad usually has him stay at my house though so he doesn’t get his half siblings sick.
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If it’s his weekend, and he REALLY WANTS to help take care of his sick daughter, then by all means let him help take care of her. It’ll give you a much needed break and give him his time with her.
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Let dad have her. Parenting is a joint effort. Dads are more than capable of caring for a child, healthy or sick. He knows she has tested positive so for the flu and still wants his child. We dont just co parent due to a court order or to share the happy healthy times. We coparent for yhe benefits our children get, one of those benefits is that they learn they can count on and rely on both parents.
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Not if she’s not feeling well . As the dad he would understand I hope. He can have her the next weekend . Unless he’s that pity . The wellness of the child is more important and her getting healthy .
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If dad cares about her well being he lets her stay home and rest and get better and sees her when he can spend real time with her. Most kids want their mom when they are sick.
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I would ask if he’s willing to switch weekends but if he doesn’t want to, then she would have to go since it’s court ordered. If he’s a good dad and can take good care of her, why argue?
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It’s really hard to say. We’ve gone through this with my stepdaughter. My husband and his ex have 50/50 split custody of her. She has been sick at moms before and we gave up our time for her to stay there til she is feeling better so she is comfortable not going back and forth. But we have also had it the other way where she got sick at our house and bio mom gave up some of her time so she could stay comfortable and get better. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a little and can make it up later if it keeps the sick child comfortable, even through a court order. Not everything has to be strictly done by the court order, the parents need to be adults and do what is best for the child.
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I personally don’t send my son with his dad when he’s sick with the flu because I know for a fact his dad won’t know how to really take care of him. But his dad also agrees that it is fine to keep him home. He just likes to be in bed all day so for us it’s not a big deal
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My daughter misses the toilet a lot when she has the flu so 100%. He can have fun with that. 
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I don’t think it’s a matter of right and wrong here. It’s for the best interest of the child to stay and rest. But as her parents you need to work together. Have him come by and see for himself. Have him pick up some meds or some soup and bring it. Neither parent is unfit for suggesting they be with them. It’s life. And unfortunately it sucks sometimes, but we all have to deal and work together. I agree child should stay put. As a safety precaution as to not spread it. Father should understand and see to it his child has what she needs to be properly cared for.
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What does she want? If she doesn’t want to go to his house because she doesn’t feel well then he can come see her. Bring her some of her favorite treats and love on her for awhile. People forget in these situations it’s about the child, not the adult. It’s the child’s time with the parent. Not the parent’s time with the child. And before you start with your mess know that I have been co-parenting since my almost 18 year old took his first breath in this world. His step mama and I just did our senior football mom pictures TOGETHER with HIM.
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I would send my child if the other parent was informed, and still ok with it. I wouldn’t send my child if he had the flu, and he wouldn’t ask for her…because the flu. Double edged sword?
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Moving her, making her get up will only make her feel worse. My child court ordered or not would stay home. Mother knows best. She needs rest
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I can understand him wanting to have that time with his child. But honestly, your child’s health and well being come before his wants and desires.
If she is sick, and she is not feeling up to going, then tell him no.
Kids generally want to be where they are most comfortable when they’re sick.
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I wouldn’t send her. Why send her germs over to his house so now he gets it too. Plus I’m sure the child just wants to rest not play house switch. That’s not being selfish its being a good parent IMO
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I wouldn’t sent her like that they will get it over there if you do send her… And it might be a worse turn out!! He should understand too she needs her mom right now!
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I think you’re right but Dads tend to be asses in these situations. Sick kids want their Moms.
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I think most mothers need to take a test to see if they can actually understand how to care for their own child since most of the people they chose to have a child with cannot take care of their child because they are a man. In this past month I gave been told babies only breath through their mouth, babies burp themselves, can’t give them a bath until a month old any formula is ok it doesn’t affect them but the father can’t do anything right. True stories. Makes me think people need testing for basic knowledge.
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Idk, if my child gets sick at either my house or his dads house, he stays where is is at until he isn’t contagious anymore. Simply because if he’s at my house sick and already potentially passed it to my household, why would I send him to his dads to infect their household… which usually would end up with him bringing the sickness back for a second round at my house. If he stays with me only 4 people will get sick… if I send him. 9 people will get sick.
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You are the primary caregiver…no cause if he cant handle it…sleepless night… Better of with Mom or Dad…whoever is primary caregiver…
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I would not let my child go to their other parents house if they were that sick but that’s just me. I would definitely communicate it to him as I would be too worried and trying to nurse my kids back to health myself and I wouldn’t want them getting other people outside our home sick. I would also see how my child feels because 9/10 she won’t even want to leave her bed to go anywhere else with the flu. This isn’t about being selfish in a situation like this! It’s about what’s in the best interest and health for the child. In and out of different environments most certainly don’t help the healing process with the flu. It would ultimately be my child’s decision of course but you have to do what you feel is best. Knowing my kids, they wouldn’t want to even leave their beds if they were that sick. Things happen!
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She can still get the love and care from her dad when she’s sick. although I get wanting her to stay put…make sense. But, let him take care of her. Just keep in communication with him.
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Yes I’d love it if my ex wanted to care for our kids while they are sick. I get the opposite “ you can have them, I can’t get sick.” Sounds like a good present loving dad to me. Just gently voice your concerns if he’s amicable so he knows he can call if your child needs you as sometimes they do favour a particular parent when they are sick. Plus he’s right, it’s his time in an order so he has to agree not to have them whether it makes sense to you or not. 
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He’s her parent- so yes even is she’s sick there’s no reason for her not to go
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I understand he wants to see her, but I myself would want to have my child with me when sick, make other arrangements as soon as u can. It is good her dad loves her and wants to see her, my ex was not so good.
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Ask the doctor. If he says to keep her home, have him write something to cover you for the courts and keep her home . If he says to let her go to her dad’s house let her if she wants to. If not, have her call daddy and tell him she feels too sick and wants to stay home.
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I wouldn’t want to. I also wouldn’t want her being brought home if she got it while with him. If she feels that miserable all the moving around and car rides aren’t going to be pleasant.
But, if he isn’t willing to switch days, you’re sadly left with no choice.
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If he has another family and the germs are passed on to them, guess who will be the one to have ugly words hurled at her! The parents should let the child recuperate at home with mom! You have to think about the different temperature at each house as well! If the child is old enough to say what she wants in the presence of both parents, then let that be the answer! He can get her the next two weekends! I wouldn’t send my child because I am considerate of others health! Just my opinion!
Honestly I would say that if she wants to stay home he should respect that because she doesn’t feel well. But if she wants to go it is his time. You might find that she gets there and wants to come home to mommy. It’s a tough call.
If there’s a court order it’s up to him but he needs to understand that he could very well get sick very fast if he is responsible and you think he can take proper care of the child while they are not feeling well then yes you need to send them…if they are irresponsible and you don’t think that they are capable of taking care of her child I would take that situation back to court
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I don’t feel like there is a lot of discussion needed. Both of you are parents and regardless of your relationship with each other, the only question should be what is best for the child? My thought is for her to stay where she is to not have to move while she feels miserable, and not risk exposure to more people, but maybe mom usually works weekends anddad is able to provide better care. Regardless of court orders, a parent’s responsibility is to do what is best for their child.
You are. If all else fails just switched week ends with him. Sure he will have her two weekend back to back, but your little girl will be better.
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When a child is sick it doesn’t make sense to make them get up just to go to the other parents house. If they are sick at their own house/room let them stay.
Other parent can come to the house and help take care of the child and spend time. Make the child feel as comfortable as possible.
I hate seeing kids sick and uncomfortable 
Both parents should suck it up and let the child be wherever they are more comfortable… So kids do better with a certain parent when they dont feel well. Then you need to take the contagiousness of the illness, to keep both homes safe.
Daughter should stay home and get well… her health is more important and maybe you and the dad can work out an extra weekend somewhere
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How old is child? When you say she tested “positive for flu” you are not saying she was positive with COVID-19 ? Correct?
Parents get happy, health kids one week, and cranky, sick kids another. If all rlse is equal I admire his saying I’ll take care of her regardless.
Ummm well if it was his time with her… should he return her to you or keep her?
It mostly depends on how she feels about it. If she wants to go then no reason to stop her. She is going to be sick no matter where she is.
It should be the Father’s choice if he is fine with taking care of her and okay with the fact she is sick.
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Maybe have him over to visit with her but she is sick and needs to be home. Especially since her immune system is already fighting hard, she probably shouldn’t be out. She should relax and get better
Anyone who has ever had the flu, knows that it hurts to move and you have zero energy. Why would he want to subject her to more misery. Most kids want their mom when they are sick… (I know not always). Parents need to work together to do what’s best for the kids. It’s a shame when they don’t.
My kid would stay home but my kid dosent have a close relationship with his dad and he wouldn’t feel comfortable at all on the other hand his dads other kids would definitely go and they would be totaly fine and taken care of but they have a different relationship than my kid does
He’s her Father, he can care for her to. Doesn’t have to be the care you give, it’s the care he gives. Just like there are differences atmospheres & rules from home to school to Grandma’s house, the children know full well the differences in their Parents & find their comfort from each of them, usually not in the same manner - together or a part.
Honestly you are trying to save him but if he doesn’t see it that way, then yes. Send her, let him experience a sick child and tell her to milk it. 
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If the shoe was on the other foot what would you want? He sounds like a good dad and if you try to block his visit with her it could be real trouble for you. A daddy can take just as good of care of his child as you can. You DO NOT let her make the decision. That gives her too much power over both of you to start deciding if she doesn’t like the rules at one house she will choose to stay in the other. The best thing you two can do is to stick to the schedule and show a united front for her and respect for rules that art set up by a court. Also if you are worried ask him if you can call and check on her more often than usual.
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Its a sad bunch of miserable woman out in the world. You can tell from these comments. Take away the court order and flu, whats really keeping you from allowing her to go to her dads? Is it daddys happiness?
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When it comes to health, due what is best for the child… if the doctor says bed rest… no dads. Sorry… it is what it is… doctor said… that’s the way i see it… have been battling this withy kids’ dad for 7 years… and guess what eveytime my children stay with me, when they are sick and its ‘his’ time… i want to ensure the meds and health of my child is being taking care of, plus he has refused to give my kids medicine prescribed by doctors and that didnt fly with the court…just saying.
Well if he is aware of her circumstances . Then he should understand that she can’t come over this time but maybe it can be made up by giving him more time with her when she feels better. Also maybe she can talk to him on the phone if she is up to it.
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Law says yes. But being home is better for her. Poor child. All rest may catch!
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I have a good husband, but he knows nothing about nursing a child back to health. If the dad is good at caregiving when a child is sick, then let her go, but if not, she should stay home with mom.
If he doesn’t care that he may catch the flu,then I would let her. And just ask him to keep you up to date on her. Now that being said,does she have a choice? Does she want to go? I would hope Dad is capable of caring for her as well when she is sick.
Nope, this is one good thing my son’s dad is good on. He sends him home to mama when he doesn’t feel good! Every kid wants their momma when they don’t feel good!!!
When my children were young if they were ill then their father and I would discuss what was best for the children and exchange weekend if needed. The courts will not cause problems if the parents agree.
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I have a court order with my son’s father. When he is sick (contagious) we agree it would be best for him to stay where he’s at. He and I both have other children and do not want to pass it back and forth between household’s for months on end. Need to think about what’s best for your child not who gets the time with them. Time can always be exchanged later.
If I had the flu I l wouldn’t even want to move . Let her rest and get better 
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A Daddy can take care of his child sick or well… This is what sets off useless battles that ultimately hurts the child…
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If possible, have him come to your house for the day and he can take care of her. Then she can stay in bed, and he gets his time. Obviously, if that’s not safe for you or anyone else in the home then don’t do it.
I agree with you Mom. She’s better off just staying where she is and recoup.
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Depends on how old the child is. If under age 12 the rational and right thing to do is let the child continue to rest and get well at mom’s house.
If child is 12 or older and doesn’t mind going then I would let them go.
Personally there’s a lot of factors in play here: is dad a good, caring dad? Are there other children at his house? Do you guys get along co-parenting? How old is the child? If dad is a very good dad and no other kids are involved, let him have her and just pack a care bag to send to help out. If other kids are involved, maybe suggest him come and spend the day at your house to care for her and still have that time. If child is extremely sick and young, maybe let him have her 2 weekends in a row to makeup for it.
It kills me that moms just automatically think THEY are the best option. Dads can and should nurture their children just like mom. It’s his right to be able to take care of her on his time just like mom. Stop with the BS, and allow him to be a father
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She should stay home. The father should understand. Why would he want her come there so bad if sick
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My kids go to their dads when they are sick I just let him know and either provide meds for them or he gets what they need. They are comfortable there too that’s their 2nd home.
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Do what is best for the child. My kids have always wanted their mom when they are sick. My ex has always been fine with it. Even called me in the middle of the night because my son was sick and wanted his mom. It’s not hard to get along and do what’s right for the kid. Someday they see and understand and will be thankful for two parents who worked together and put them first.
Ask the child where she would rather be and feel more comfortable, she is the one that doesn’t feel good.
How sick is she? What is in her best interest? If she is “Normal Kid sick” - it is probably good for sad to also parent her and snuggle and help he feel better. If she is really really ill, is it fair to leave her home? Also depends on the arrangement. Does she have a comfy bed, etc at dad’s? Most dads are very capable of nurturing a sick kid and it is binding. If this is just out of animosity and parental friction, talk to her dr.
It would be nice if he would understand and just didn’t disturb her rest and let her stay… but if You guys can’t agree on that well, yeah she has to go with him
I mean if he wants her let him have her I understand how you feel but would you expect him to keep your child if he had her when she got the flu? If he is willing to get sick and still take care of her and go to work let him! That is a great parent. If not let him try it out and see he can’t do it. Either way trying to be the best co-parent you can be you won’t lose. No matter how you feel about each other a good parent is worth it all. Be happy he wants to be there.
I call my sons dad before he is supposed to get him and let him know if he’s sick and all the details. He has other children to and I wouldn’t want them spreading it back and forth. I let him know that I’d prefer to keep him home but I wanna let him know what’s going on and go from there. Usually he stays home if it’s something severe like flu or strep! Hope you kiddo gets well soon!!
My kids always want their mom when their sick. I wouldnt send her and if the courts for involved I would show why. Or trade off weekends and give him two weekends in a row
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I’d say if dad wants to take care of a sick kid, then have at it! Let him be the caregiver a dad should be. Then while she is there take care of yourself so you don’t get sick. You offered to be the caregiver now your off the hook. Let him be the take care of business dad not just the fun times dad.
I have a stepson. He’s grown now but If he got sick at his Mom’s, he stayed at his Mom’s. If he got sick by us, he’d stay by us. Our reasoning was there’s no sense in infecting another household and why move the kid if he’s sick. No one wants to move when they’re sick
If he wants to care for her then why not? He’s her parent also. Think of it as if you were still together. Your partner should be just as capable of caring for your sick child as you. I know u may want to comfort her yourself but he may also feel the same. You can try to work something out but at the end of the day if he wants her u should also try to help her stay comfortable with him.
I think it depends. Does her dad live far? Is she laying in bed, not moving around, high fever etc? Or is she up moving around? Does she feel up to going? You could also always ask the Dr if it’s a good idea.
If the other parent is aware and still wants her over, you have to follow the court order. If the kiddo doesn’t want to, I’d hope the dad wouldn’t make her though. But if she wants to and he wants her over thats enough.
If hes a good parent, he probably wants to care for her too. Simple sickness is an important part of a kid and parents relationship. Hes likely just as capable of caring for her.
No. Let the poor child rest and feel better. He’s a jerk if he doesn’t see that she needs to rest.
Ive had this happen. If you dont abide and he cites it then as long as the reason is valid, which it is, you’ll be fine. But dads supposed to be capable of taking care of them, sick of healthy. I got lectured by our judge and then she dismissed the charge because at least it wasnt a petty reason to skip. You know your child and im sure can predict the care she’d get there, do whatever you think is best.
That’s a hard one I would send her if she wants to go and as long as he is a good father let him deal with the sick child
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If she feels up to going and he’s ok with it, let her go. If not, let her stay home. I don’t like sending my kids back and forth when they’re sick because it always spreads… even if they feel OK enough to go, it will spread. 
I have day to day care. The girls dad and I have a court order stating weekends etc however if one of my girls were unwell and not themselves I would keep them home. One of my girls have health conditions and when she spikes a fever it’s difficult to get down and often ends in convulsions. I’ve been sole carer basically since the day they were born seeing I stayed home I know them inside out and when they’re sick having them here is comfort for both my children and myself knowing I have everything on hand and are closer to medical help should we need it. If your daughter is not upto leaving could you suggest he come visit and spend a few hours or even the day at your place to spend with her and you get some time to dash out and do whatever you need to or see some friends. That way he doesn’t miss out but your child isn’t been dragged from one location to another while feeling crappy. As adults when we are sick we want to be home in our comfort spot. If my kids fell ill at their dad’s I’d rather them come home early and if needed meet at the after hours. Luckily when they are sick or come down unwell their dad let’s me know and depending on the severity we go from there.
Play it by ear but also he needs to agree with the end results. Maybe push back when she is supposs to go over but also extend his time. I’m sure you both can come up with a comprise or if he is fine taking care of her while she is sick.
Most children want their mom when they’re sick, like everyone else is saying, you don’t want to drag her out an about when she has the flu, you’d think the father would understand if your daughter doesn’t want to go anywhere for the weekend but I’d make sure you get everything wrote down so he doesn’t ever try to get you in trouble over it! Good luck & hope your daughter gets better ASAP!!!
I say keep her where she is and let him get her when she feels better. 1.) It’s less stress on her 2.) Keep his home from getting infected. My daughter’s father and I had a nasty beginning to our custody battle but I can say he was always ok with her staying at which ever house she got sick at. Now if she gets sick it’s not even really discussed she stays where she is and if one of us need something while she’s sick the other goes to get it and takes it to her. At some point a happy medium has to be found. I’m not saying that to be ugly, it just makes things so much easier all of the way around. I hope she feels better soon.
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If he’s the parent also i don’t see why he can’t care for her while she is sick…he needs to know it’s not all fun and games every visit…he needs to know that he has the responsibility to take care of her when she is sick too…u have to let the reigns go a lil…he’s the father…u can’t do it all alone…he helped make her…let him help raise her…in all areas of being a parent…accept the help…
Technically you have to send her if it is court ordered. It sounds like Dad is a great parent for taking his daughter even though she is sick. Depending on the age of your daughter you could ask him if the both of you could discuss it with her and see what she wants to do, but I wouldn’t do this if there have been issues with her going one place or the other or if she is too young and would think this means she could choose every time.
My husband and I had a VERY open agreement with his ex-wife about co-parenting. We tried to be extremely flexible with the schedule but still tried to make sure that both kids got to spend time with each parent. However if they were hurt or sick they went where ever they were most comfortable at the time and we didn’t make them feel guilty if they chose the other house!! It so important to give kids some control in these situations!
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I had a court order but my kids didn’t want to go half the time but…he and I was in agreement and we would work around things. If she’s not running a really high fever and she wants to go let her just call and check on her
He’s her dad. He can participate in taking care of her. She’ll be fine. Let her go. I know it’s hard not to be with her when she’s not feeling well but he deserves time with her too.
If the other parent is willing to take a sick child, I would as long as I trust the other parents judgement (In the event that they got worse or needed medical care). I think it’s important for both parents to be equally involved when a child has health issues.
In Indiana you are literally not allowed to use illness as an excuse to keep your child home. Hell we can’t even use this pandemic as a reason to keep them home even when we weren’t to go around people we don’t live with.
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This seems fairly straightforward to me-
your daughter is unwell and her Dad wants her to still come because “ he has a court order & it’s his weekend “.
What does your daughter want to do -surely it’s up to her as she’s feeling unwell and if she wants to stay put then both of you should grow up, communicate & do what’s best for her regardless of any existing arrangements!!!
My son just outgrew our court order but when he was sick we kept him at home because his health was more important than the order and we traded weekends for when he was better even if that meant that he had him two weekends in a row
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If he is willing to take care of her and he is capable of doing a good job then I’d let her go. Or I’d ask her what she wanted. Sometimes kids want their moms when they are sick.
We share our oldest with his mom. When he’s sick we leave it up to him. If he isn’t in a can’t move out of bed mood then he usually comes here. We take care of him just as his mom takes care of him. If it’s really bad we just make the switch. We have a great relationship with his mom though. We usually never have any issues switching up days or weekends.
I think a child should stay home and rest if they are sick. Just like you are more comfortable at home when sick. That being said. If the court order says he gets her you must follow the order unless you both agree to change weekends. Hope she is feeling better
My kids stay home when they aren’t feeling well. I’ve always taken care of them whenever they are sick. But their dad understands and doesn’t make a fuss if they stay home when they are sick. Whatever is more comfortable for the child so they can get better. Now, if the dad really wanted to take care of the child, then they could stay there. Everyone is different.
I’d say if he wants to even though she has the flu… Let him… As long as he’s going to make sure she’s comfortable and well cared for. It’s his responsibility to take care of her sick or not too, and It’s nice to see that he wants to see her even though she’s sick, imo… But also, only if she feels up to going over there, too…