She has PTSD. If giving up baby before getting In touch with the problems of the PTSD then she will regret giving up the baby and can make her symptoms worse
22 Likes
Research and study Reactive Attachment Syndrome. Find a Child Psychologist, not just a BSW or MSW but a PhD or MD. This isnt just about you it is mostly about him, my heart breaks for your whole situation. Your other kids will suffer psychologically too if you just send him away . Dont give up your rights, give custodial rights to a grandparent or another family member. I speak from experience. This will be hard but the rewards to hold on to your children as their mother will not fail you or either of the children. Prayers for you and your family.
16 Likes
I feel bad for you but can you imagine how your child is going to turn out with only his fatherās influence? You think his father is bad? Thereās a possibility if you leave your son with him exclusively your son will turn out like him or worse. Think of your child first. He is the one who is going to suffer.
25 Likes
I feel often that my kids would be better off Without me. Like im failing. Till they look at me and smile or tell me they love me. Or i watch them sleep. Im sorry you have to go threw that. Dont give up on him. Having a baby is hard. Having 3 kids is hard. I just had my 4th. Maybe start looking into extra help a nanny or friend or family member. And talk talk talk. Its good to talk it out. Your a good momma and you show that by voicing your concern. Depression is very hard. Dont do something you might regret in the long run. Prayers for you. 
9 Likes
Doesnāt sound like his father is a good fit if your afraid of him. Do whatās right by that baby an love him or find somewhere safe he will be loved
7 Likes
God have you another child for a reason no man alive should take you away from YOUR childā¦ how can u think of birthing 3 kids but only wanting twoā¦ (im not trying to say this harshly) but how do u think your child would feel growing up thinking āMy mom didnāt want meā¦ā we never ask for the things we go threw in life but you wer given another child for a reasonā¦
26 Likes
Iāve never been in this situation, so let me first off say Iām so sorry your going through this and filling this way. Maybe try looking into open or closed adoption if you feel you shouldnāt be involved at all. I hope you find some kind of peace in life soon 
7 Likes
You are wrong to give up a child to this horrid person to have 100 % all the time knowing he will be mistreated even if you have no bond with him as a mother a human as a mother to other children how can you think that itās okay im so sorry for your pain but you can not let this child live in hell for you to escape he didnāt ask to be born he canāt protect himself
7 Likes
Youāre a good mom. If you werenāt you wouldnāt question yourself or say you want whatās best. Momma, im in a similar situation. Just know you are whatās best for that boy. Donāt give up. Shit is hard, but you got this.
11 Likes
What im getting by reading this isā¦ This child you have is by someone you resent and have PTSD from. Its not the child its who help make it. You are a great mother or you wouldnāt be upset over this wanting the best. Honestly i would go for custody so you wouldnāt have to see/deal with the childs father.
5 Likes
I definitely donāt think signing him over to an abusive person is the best for any child. He IS your child and while you may not have a bond with him, heās your responsibility, too. You need to get yourself together and raise your kids. Period.
25 Likes
Nothing wrong with adopting him out. Thereās plenty of people looking to adopt. Donāt let anyone make you feel bad about it either!
5 Likes
Iām guessing his father is on the birth certificate, and his father sees him because you do mention that yāall dont co-parent very well. Iām thinking if his father is in his life you probably cannot put your son up for adoption(at least without an issue) because it seems he wanted you to have a child together.I urge you before move forward with drastic and/or permanent decisions that you just speak to an attorney about the violence etc in that relationship and your fear of pick ups and drop offs. An attorney can get a guardian ad litem for you and perhaps make this easier.
Pleases think this through thoroughlyā¦one day you may wish you hadnāt adopted your son out and one day the kids you have now will want to know all the answers as well as to why they couldnāt know their brother and why it was him that had to leave. Does your son interact with his paternal grandparents? If so maybe reach out to them as well.
Your son is not at fault for the decisions his adult parents made but he is suffering because of them.
8 Likes
Donāt give up your rights. You can go back to court and arrange a safe drop off/pick up site where you donāt have to interact with dad. Your PTSD will be better. If he treated you badly, how is he treating your son behind closed doors? Be there for your baby and continue counseling.
5 Likes
Find help with childcare, family friends, give yourself a break for a weekend. Ask the father of the first two to keep all three kids together. You need to destress and get help for the depression and ptsd.
2 Likes
Ive been in that field and worked long hrs with 3 kids as a single mom. Its not kids fault he was born. Dude was so bad but you still had sex with him. Just cause difficult ex you seem to blame kid almost. Dudes so bad but willing to throw this kid to be alone with him??? If hes THAT horribleā¦ Id fight for full custody and protect my kid at all costs. Sounds more like cause not easy to deal with ex just give kid away.
12 Likes
I think you can overcome this. You sound like a good mom and a good person. Get into therapy for PTSD. They will give you so many tools to deal with your anxiety over this man. I had it so bad I was waking up choking and screaming in the night. In 6 months I was turned around and using my tools without realizing it. You can love this baby and put this behind you. Do you have a custody agreement with the court? If not, stop sending the baby and let him fight to get visits. If the child is unsafe the state can help you prove it. I wish you all the best.
1 Like
Maybe get checked for postpartum and definitely get another opinion from therapist.My husband and I would take him in a heartbeat, no questions asked! Please donāt give up on him and put him in a situation that has no good outcome. Seek out help from the county you live in. Iām sure there is another way.
1 Like
You should try and give the kid up for adoption or to a foster family if you can do that. Iām so sorry you are going through this. I wish you had an abortion, because that may have saved you so much of what your feeling and everything going on (I mean this in the best way possible. Donāt come at me) but adoption might be the best possible thing for right now. I wish you the best of luck. Screw everyone whoās making you feel bad about keeping it.
2 Likes
Before signing away your rights try having the drop off and pick up supervised or have someone do it for you. Go through the courts and then if you still feel that way sign your rights away if he is a good father. You didnāt make that clear if he was good to your son. Youāre doing everything you can and itās better to let him go than to have him grow up knowing and feeling your resentment. Iām sooo deeply sorry that you and your son have to go through this. I wish you the best, and please ignore all the negative comments and the your his mother youāll get through it.
Sounds like you may be having postpartum depression Iāve heard of similar stories depression could be the root of all of this please look into this and give the baby up for adoption if anything sounds like the baby wouldnāt be better off with dad either
If his dad treated you bad he might take his anger out on your son do whatās best for your son
1 Like
You need coucillingā¦for the babies safety and your own.
1 Like
I would not sign my child over to a parent like that. Itās like throwing him to the wolves. No child deserves that. Itās about the child not you.
I know of a mom wanting to adopt, if the fathers up for it and you are too, lmk
1 Like
You are his mother. He would never choose to not have you.
8 Likes
Does he want custody?
If you feel this way around him please donāt leave that baby with himā¦prayers for you
2 Likes
Keep your son , he needs you and his siblings. You will be fine. 
4 Likes
This is hard situation hope you find a solution that is both healthy and happy for you and your son. I canāt imagine what you are going through. 
Donāt know what to say keep that baby
2 Likes
As a single mom of 4 daughters let me just say, where there is a will there is a way and a mom will always find a way for her children. I get no support/help from the fathers. One is in jail, one in rehab, one who just doesnāt care and another who died in 2020 from an overdose. Each father put me through something different, mentally. I never let that effect the way I view the children I had with them. None of this is the childās fault and youāre treating him like heās the bad guy. You laid with a man who Iām sure you knew was no good before hand, stop treating that kid like a big mistake and start loving him like he was the best unplanned surprise youāve ever received.
11 Likes
I just donāt understand how a mother could not have any bond w a child she carried n birthedā¦ Iād see another doctor thatās not normal dear
1 Like
This is PTSD all over. You love baby and you can tell so easily just from reading this post. If youāre scared of dad, Iād almost bet baby will grow up to be the one to cop the bullshit.
Thereās a light at the end of the tunnel. Push through mama. You can do thisā¤ļø
This is sad all the way aroundā¦ I feel sorry for the baby ā¦ give him to me Iāll love him n take care of himā¦ I have 4 work 10 he shifts and take care of my grandbabyā¦
Pray and put it in Godās hands.
Heās waiting
Your his mother get a bloody grip so your willing to be a mum to 2 of your kids you love dearly but the most recent one u couldnāt care less about basically because of how his dad treats you grow up and stop feeling sorry for your self the more u dwell on what happend the more highlighted the problem will be I donāt think itās your son thatās the problem I think its you that canāt move forward with what ever happend (Iām a dv survivor) and your blaming your son for making u feel how u do but its only you making your self feel this way no amount of counciling will help you if your not willing to change your state of mind imagine when he grows up and realises his mummy dident want him because of what his daddy did but u left him with that vile man whats he gunna think of you ā¦ if im honest I think u need to stop thinking about how u feel and think about your boy and I dunno except the fact its not his fault he should be loved buy you regardless sounds harsh but I think u sound really selfish 
not meaning to sound horrible but honestly if u give him up it will be your biggest regret and then what if u canāt get him back I dunno just trying to make u look at things different hope you find whatās right for you but think about your boys future your strong u can do anything if u truly change your mind set and take a different approach dont do it lovely ull regret it wishing u the best in what ever choices you make
2 Likes
I canāt even respond. WOW
3 Likes
Oh my girl my heart goes out to you. Give me a few cause it takes some time to write what I want or inbox me
If your scared of him I donāt think itās best for the child to be with the dad because if he was mean to you he will definitely be mean to him! Give him the love he needs and deserves or Place him up for adoption or a family member take him! Iām not here to judge but man this pissed me off no child deserves to be treated like this !!
25 Likes
Wow, no words of advice
4 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I sign over parental rights? - Mamas Uncut
1 Like
This is sickening. Your child didnāt do anything, you brought him in the worldā¦ That baby didnāt ask to be here. How sad. Must be Horrible looking at a child that is completely innocent, that you canāt seem to love like your other children. Iād so adopt that baby. Wow.
37 Likes
If your ex was such a horrendous person and was so awful and mean to you, do you think he would not be the same way towards your child? I understand that youāre in a really hard spot, but would giving the father full rights really be whatās best for him? You still have to do what is best for that innocent baby. I truly think like someone else said, your feelings towards the father are overpowering you which is likely a part of the PTSD you have from the relationship. If he is abusive, can you not try to get full custody of your son so that you can begin healing and no longer having to see your ex? You definitely will have to find a good support system. The relationship with your son may really take a lot of time and therapy, but as his mother, you honestly owe him that and you will both be so grateful for it later on. Iām praying you find the right answers and help you need. Iām also praying for that sweet baby to feel all the love he deserves in the process.
34 Likes
His dad was horrible to youā¦ What makes you think he wonāt be to your child 
It makes me so sad that you feel that way towards that baby maybe your emotions with the father is overpowering the ones with your baby
33 Likes
Thatās honestly horrible to pick and choose which child to get rid of. Do you know how horrible that would feel knowing your own mother didnāt want you but wanted your siblings? He didnāt ask to be born and you are taking everything out on him Iām sorry but this post makes me sick. I have a horrible ex husband who is actually in jail now because he sexually abused my daughters after we divorced during his weekend visitsā¦ my point is if he abused you do you not think he would abuse your son behind closed doors? I get angry and have horrible thoughts in my head because of what my ex did but that doesnāt give me a right to take it out on my kids itās not their fault.
32 Likes
Please please please consider that since he was abusive towards you, he may be abusive to your child as well. Iām scared that he will also have built resentment towards your son because he clearly has unresolved psychological issues. Have you tried emdr therapy for the ptsd that you have from this relationship? I think that finding a consistent therapist may help you detach the feelings of resentment you have towards your son and help you resolve the resentment you have towards your ex-boyfriend. My previous relationship was absolutely horrible and honestly, without therapy my ptsd from it wouldāve been much worse. Sorry you are going through this. If you have any sort of support system, now is the time to lean on them. I know you want whatās best for your son but talk to some professionals first who can help you sort out your thoughts and feelings to make the best decision for you and your son.
24 Likes
I think the reason u have this resentment towards ur baby is because of the person u had bub with. This changes sometimes. Ptsd is a major thing and if u havnt been diagnosed with it go see another doctor or psychologist. There is help for ptsd. You just need to find it. Good luck
24 Likes
Youāre not the only mom. Some choose adoption for one child while continuing to parent other children. Itās more common then you think. An adoption plan would help both of you. It would put him in a loving home YOU choose he would be such a gift to a mom longing for a child and with private adoption there are feeās that could possibly help you like with counseling or to get more stable. Adoption is a extremely loving option and now days itās mostly open so he could know his siblings and begin to have a healthy more distanced relationship with you. His adoptive parents would love and bond with him as parents.
If you truly in your heart feel like you should sign over rights please consider adoption and choose the best family for your son.
13 Likes
Mommy, firstly you need to forgive yourself. I feel like you resent yourself for a lot of things. For not leaving sooner, for not having the abortion, for not loving your child ābetterā. This comes through and is being projected on your child. You donāt resent him. You resent yourself. You have major mommy guilt and you will only be able to move past that once you forgive yourself. What you went through in the relationship is traumatic and you will never be able to put it behind you. You need to work through it, alongside your trauma. Hold it, cradle it, give yourself time to grieve properly. You do not need to be a perfect superwoman or perfect mommy. You love your son so much that youāre willing to give him up for his own sake. That already tells me that you love him more than you give yourself credit for. Embrace that. The dad will more than likely also cause your child trauma and he will grow up with the same resentment you have. You and your child deserve to heal from this. Hold your baby, tell him you love him. Hold yourself, tell yourself the same. You will heal, with your baby by your side.
15 Likes
Yeah uhh I think you should sign over rights to your child. Clearly this child isnāt the one who has caused you issues, but you are going to take it out on the child. Sign your rights away.
My ex cheated on me with any girl who would spread her legs. Still not my childrenās fault.
6 Likes
Iām so sorry youāre feeling this way.
If you think itās in the childās best interest then you need to do what you need to do. If you cannot look at your own child with love and unconditionally then maybe itās best the child is with his father.
I cannot imagine feeling this way or the guilt you carry for doing so.
I hope you figure it out. Just think long and hard about it first. I donāt think you can come back from signing away rights etc.
I wish you the best.
5 Likes
Please do not give your rights up. Things will get better once the child can communicate with you better I just know it!! Maybe find a friend or family member you trust and see that they can spend some one on one time with said child to give you both a break!!
That is your child, didnāt ask for a mean daddy and certainly loves you to pieces. I wish you luck.
3 Likes
Why are people so judgemental, things happen in life, feelings happen in life, noone can predict it at least the ladys hoping to give her child a better life rather than grow to resent them which can also be natural, dont judge even if youve been there cos no 2 storys are the same. I wish you luck and wisdom as its got to be one of the hardest decisions to make and to make it in the best interest of your child no matter the decision is one of the bravest things a parent can do
6 Likes
I think you feel that way because you associate him to your ex (he is the father) but see him as a part of you and his own little person. Try not to see him as a reminder of your ex. This is a challenge for you to conquer by separating your trauma your ex caused, from your son, you know it isnāt his fault he has no clue and also work on yourself you DONāT need to be afraid of your ex every time you see him. Another thing, youād be doing this to your other 2 kids as well, not just your son specially if theyāve bonded. I understand itās hard but if you conquer your fear of your ex, I believe you can be a great mommy to your 3rd babyš I wish you and your son the best
4 Likes
I admire and reflect how real and raw you are in this post. Iām sure that wasnāt easy. Iām proud of you for getting out of that toxic relationship. I would recommend looking into SAFE families if your area has it. Itās a little like foster care in that another family takes care of your son for a short amount of time. They are background checked, licensed, and trained on trauma. Unlike foster care, it is completely up to you to enter into it. The point of it is so you can get some help for yourself while your son id cared for. You can still have visits and contact with him and the SAFE family. It could also be a test run to see if signing over is something you want to do. Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
34 Likes
First off I want you to know you are not alone, this is not your fault and the fact that you can acknowledge and try do something about this situation is huge because many women live in denial about feeling this way and never deal with it and there children suffer. 2nd I would like to point out to all the women saying because he was horrible to her he will be horrible to the child, this is a false statement. I think if she thought he would treat the child badly she wouldnāt be thinking about giving him to the father. Just because someone is a terrible partner, that doesnāt make them a terrible parent. Your there spouse not there Child the bond is very different, and many men feel very strongly about there children and would treat them like gold, give them anything, and do all the right things for them, but would let the mother of that same child who they love so dearly, live on the streets without a care in the world. You do not have to love the other parent to love the child. For the sake of the childās well being you should respect them and be kind when in the presence of the child, but in no way are you obligated to care about what happens to that person. I know many women and men who would gladly watch there ex burn but love there kids to the end of the world. The two are not mutually exclusive. This being said, we donāt know there story. Hereās my advice, if you believe the child will be safe loved and cared for then do what you need to do, because it sounds like youāve really tried to fix this issue, donāt beat yourself up this is a horrible tragedy, and Iām sorry this happened to you. Know your not alone my best friend went through this with her middle child and they are still working on there relationship 10 yrs later. They are doing better now but it was not an easy road and that child suffered because she didnāt know what was wrong with her, we were young and Noone talked about post partum or her not bonding with him. She suffered at the hands of his father through her whole pregnancy and for yrs after, and the trauma during pregnancy caused her to not bond properly with him, itās sad and horrible but it does happen, and itās not your fault. Please donāt give him to his father unless your sure he is better off, there are other avenues if you feel he is not a safe option. Also please if you do go through with this, be prepared for him to come looking for you one day, wanting to know why. Good luck momma stay strong, if you need anything hit my inbox, I have witnessed whatās happening to you first hand and I wish I knew then what I know now because I could have helped my friend so much more.
2 Likes
The feeling of having no connection with your child is truly heart breaking and difficult. I think you would be better chatting with the doctor and getting some therapy to help you. Before making a drastic decision like signing over your rights etc.
11 Likes
Come on!! I cannot believe the number of ladies on here victim shaming this mother! I really thought us women were educated to the point of stopping the victim shaming behavior. Abuse, PTSD, and trauma are all very real. Everyone deals with them a little differently, everyoneās journey is different, there is no right or wrong but getting the proper help is always the answer. Being encouraged and heard is always key. Being validated. She is clearly in a fog and unable to see how affected she is by this mans abuse. She needs help and encouragement. Sheās speaking out. Sheās obviously been a victim of an abusive relationship and it has not been addressed. The path of advice is clear hereā¦I cannot understand any of you shaming her or telling her to give her child away. Shame on all of you!
5 Likes
Do You have family or friends that could be your support system?
You need support as being a mum is the most challenging and hardest job in the world.
Your baby needs you and loves you unconditionally.
Please see someone because you are suffering ptsd and you have done the best thing by reaching our for support.
You are stronger than you know and god will look after you everything will be ok.
I think it would be a very unwise decision to sign your child over someone like that. The relationship that you want with your child will happen overtime. Not all parents bond immediately with all the children, or so Iām told. Do not make your child live that fear and anger every day. If you do, thatās what they will become
9 Likes
Postpartum depression is 10x worse when you have a bad relationship w/the father and it also makes you become distant with the child. Itās hard to create a bond. Your not crazy or losing your mind. And to everyone commenting mean stuff, educate yourself on mental health.
27 Likes
Iām so sorry to hear about this entire situation. Before you make any decisions, keep going to therapy and find a good support system you can be totally honest with who will help you emotionally with the stress of coparenting with an abusive ex. If you donāt have court ordered visitations etc, then consider getting a legal agreement, and have your support system help or accompany you with pick ups and drop offs. A legal agreement will also lessen the discussions you would have to have with your ex about the childās life.
Iād explore every last option, before signing rights away. Youāve obviously dealt with some severe trauma from the relationship, and that can take far more than two years to āfixāā¦ all things can be healed, and giving up a child would can only delay the healing. Letting your child go will affect you and your other two kids down the road. Bonds are different with each child. I wouldnāt do anything until I tried every last option.
Makes me really sad you feel that way about your son but you do what is best for your kidsā:two_hearts: Hope things work out for you
1 Like
Quit being selfish! Youāre changing that child every day! And not for the good!
5 Likes
If his dad is abusive what if he is abusive to the child? Pray for you and the kids.
2 Likes
Iām sorry but you sound like a horrible person how can any mother pick and choose which children she keeps it so selfish
6 Likes
It is not the child fault at all that his dad was abusive towards you and i think you need to get help therapy and stuff for your ptsd and to let go of the hurt and anger to.
1 Like
If u honestly feel this way adopt him out or give the child too a family member that u trust etc till u get urself fixed up u have post parden depression or ptsd
1 Like
My heart breaks for you mama. My only advice is to really imagine how you will feel in 10 years when youāre done with school thriving and doing great, will you be Ohk with the choice you have made? Will you feel regret? I know right now itās hard and you probably feel pretty lost and scared and horrible, but thereās a light at the end of the tunnel. Just make sure you will be Ohk with this choice in 1o years
1 Like
I never comment on posts in this groupā¦Iām more of a āfollow the page and sometimes the posts relate to meā¦read the commentsā kind of person. But this one I couldnāt help but comment on.
When my littlest was born it was SO HARD for me to connect with him. He literally cried 24/7 until he was almost 3. He didnāt sleep. He didnāt eat. NOTHING would soothe him. We went to doctor after doctor. Specialist after specialist. Nothing would stop it and nothing would help him. How could I love a baby that hated ME? My husband and I seriously considered adoption or placing him at a safe place (fire dept, police station, hospital, etc.)ā¦I am honestly ashamed to admit that. We finally was referred to therapy and then to a developmental doctor and he was diagnosed with Autism, global developmental delay, sensory processing disorder and anxiety. We learned how to help him. He flourished. We flourished. TOGETHER. I am so thankful now that I did not place him for adoption or give him to a safe place. Iām so thankful that I get to be his mother and his voice. Iām so thankful that I have his little hand to hold on a bad day. Iām so thankful that he says āyouāre the best mommy. I love you and I like you tooā
I had PPD until he was THREE. I had a special needs child and didnāt know it. I also had a toddler with ADHD who I had to care for AND three bonus babies and I was only 23. YOU CAN DO THIS. You are his momma and one day you will be SO thankful that you have him and that he has YOU! Hang in there, momma. And if itās ever too much TAKE A BREAK. Get a sitter and if you canāt afford one bring him to me! Go to therapy! Take him with you to therapy! Bond with him like you never have before!! Mommas have to lift each other up! Weāre in this together! And if you do decide to put him up for adoption, thatās okay too. Just make sure with your whole heart THAT is what YOU can live with because once itās done. Itās really really hard to go back.
10 Likes
How sure are you that the baby will have a good life with his dad? Is he a good dad to your son?How sure are you that he will not be horrible with his child?
This is classic PTSD. Itās because you are scared of your ex and every time your son has visitation you have to see your ex, building a strong association/connection between your son and the thing that terrifies you. You need to get away from your ex so you can heal. Someone else needs to take your son to and from visitation so you can stop being exposed to the person that so deeply hurt you and begin to heal from all of that trauma. Then you can begin to have that relationship you have ever so long for with your son, itās there, he is there, your abusive ex is tainting that relationship every time you see himā¦You need to have a relationship with your son that is completely free of your ex. Have someone else to the transport to and from visits from now on. You also need to have a therapist that specializes in domestic abuse/trauma informed and that is all they do. They will speak the language that you have been living and feeling that no one else has been understanding. There is love there, between you and your son. The both of you have experienced the hate and awfulness that is your ex, but you have each other to hide in, and love. Find refuge there. The two of you have a bond that your other children do not. There is some strong healing there for the both of you when he gets older. You ARE NOT a bad mom, you are struggling, you are hurting and you need some help and have been given poor advice from untrained individuals. Please, please try this. I believe with all of my heart it will help you. Hugs.
10 Likes
Maybe donāt sign over rights? But just ask for no visatation?
1 Like
My heart is broken for that baby 
omg 
I canāt stop thinking about how sad that baby must beā¦ mom doesnāt want him and dad probably doesnāt either but wanted to keep the baby because it hurt you more to have him than get an abortion. Thatās disgusting and not fair.
Ugh. I couldnt imagine hating my ex so much that I in turn hated my own child. My children are everything to me and they didnāt ask to be here. I brought them into the world knowing 100% who I was having the baby with.
10 Likes
100% sign him over to someone who will love him and wants him ā¦as a mother I canāt understand what you are trying to explain and Iām sorry but this makes you sound like a horrible person my opinion
4 Likes
Do not sign over rights. If needed let the authorities know you donāt feel safe around him. See if your now partner can pick them up xx
2 Likes
I think you have postpartum that has went untreated. You apparently love the child or you wouldnāt be torn. Get some help.
I could not imagine feeling this way and Iām so sorry that you do. You are definitely right, the child does not deserve itā¦ itās a very sad situation. I donāt know that I would push you to sign your rights overā¦ I think itās something deeper that you have to look into in yourself and fix within yourself. I have diagnosed PTSD and was with a narcissist and have two kids with him, I am currently pregnant with the 2nd and this pregnancy has been absolutely awful. AWFULā¦ thankfully, I donāt feel the way you do but if I did, I would try with everything in me to lose the parts of me that are emotionally triggered by the father and work very hard for a bond with my child. You canāt control what that man put you through and neither can your baby, but you can choose to not give up and fight for a well-deserved relationship with your child. Try to think of it that way, you DESERVE that relationship with your baby. You had to carry that assholeās child, you had to go through the pregnancy and the labor, and you have to raise that baby, you DESERVE to have a bond with your own flesh and blood. You are entitled to it. Please cling on to anything you can and donāt give up on your baby. I am here if you would want to reach out to me, anonymously through text would even be fine. Stay strong mama
5 Likes
This is just my thoughts. You had the kid. I know nothing of the exacts of what happened in your relationship and such. But how would the kid feel if he was just left with his dad. Do you think he would have the best life he possibly could? Do you feel like you honestly contribute nothing to his health/wellbeing and happiness? You live your life. But please donāt abandon that kid because his dad is a POS. Who knows, maybe your kid will grow up to be more like you.
1 Like
If you feel this way and are willing to give a child up that you laid down to create then I hope you never have sex again to bring another child in to the world after him because that would be so sad and unfair to this poor child. Iāve lived a similar situation but far worse which I will not get in to detail as itās my personal backyard, however moral of my story is I grew up and I realized I made my bed and I needed to sleep in it. My child did nothing to deserve any resentful feelings and neither does yours. Imagine the devastation to all three of those children losing their siblings and the one losing his mother of two years. Your selfish.
Heād tell you he needs you.
I would literally take that baby honestly Iām sorry this just makes me so sad
6 Likes
Mama you do have PTSD and Depression. I know!
Please donāt sign your rights away; your child is half of you as much as half of him. My fear is the dad is going to give him PTSD too!
Even if you have to leave and join the Navy which might require a waiver if you have more than 2 dependents! Do it! Then come back, Then get full custody! Whatever it takes!
Or go to college and get a degree where you can make salary money 
Find a support system! If you have a good relationship with your ex, ask him for help perhaps he might know a family lawyer!
Use income tax credit, save some money for a lawyer and fight for him!
Itās a toxic environment You are at and you just cannot heal in a toxic environment!
You have to get yourself out of there and heal first! But your child is going to need help too down the road!
Thereās a lot of free programs out there! Like In my city itās called āintegral careā and they help with diagnosing and prescribing medication and free counseling and support!
Look for one in your city! And if you cannot! Move out of there! Trust me the world is big and full of good people! When you begin your healing process, those people will come to you!
5 Likes
Okay so my Oldest is the result of a rape. Her dad had me locked in his home and beat and tortured me for months before his neighbourās called the police to report my screams and cries. I sometimes feel like Iām not doing the best for her but I love her with everything! Just as much as my other 2 children. Iād kill for her. Iām unsure why you canāt bond 
bonding with my child came so easy regardless of how I got her. If you feel like you canāt handle the child or the child is being neglected or treated bad then yes you should sign off, that child will sense things and youād hate for that child to grow up knowing you hate them that would be devistating to hear, at least your son could have the chance at a normal life and happy life with someone else.
This is what I was thinking, my oldest was the result of rape and I love her with everything I got, Iād kill for her just like my other 2 children. So I canāt relate to this but I hope op does whatās best for the said child
You should find a way to give the child up for adoption. Take your ex-bf to court, and have him sign ove rhis rights too. And since yāall werenāt married when you had the child, he has to get a paternity test and prove heās the father anyways. In the meantime. You say you and your ex-husband co-parent well? Well if thatās true, see if he doesnāt mind taking your two oldest for the time being until you can sort out this mess. This child did not ask to be brought into this world and because you were blackmailed into having him, which you should bring up in court too, I think the best option is adoption. If youāre going to sign your rights over, at least let it be to someone who will take care of him properly. Plus, if you sign over your youngest to his abusive father and something happens to him, not only will you not forgive yourself but Iām sure your two oldest wonāt either. After all, that is their half brother too.
I canāt even believe what I just read 
For one, you should have thought about all this before you laid down with the guy and made a baby. Now the poor kid has to suffer the consequences to your poor actions and thatās not fair.
For two, the fact that your oh so willing to just pawn him off because you canāt love him like the others is just sadā¦
Girl, you need serious help and I pray you get it quick. Kids shouldnāt have to suffer for your adult choices. This isnāt mean, itās the reality. If thatās how you feel he does deserve better.
6 Likes
Please remember when you have anxiety and depression it can come in waves those waves may be weekly or monthly or yearly depending on what you are going through at the time. I know itās hard to see it clearly when your going through it but maybe you feel like you bond with the older kids now because as they get older they do get easier to understand and communicate with. As your son get older and you get to know him more your bond will grow. Look after yourself you sound like your doing an amazing job the whole world is going through a whole lot at the moment and alot of people feel similar ways due to outside pressure internalizing. Try guided meditations on YouTube while going to sleep I know it sound silly and can even feel silly at the time but it really helps as a great tool if you use it when your feeling low and continue to use it when you feel better just like meds for anixety and depression. Nothing is forever you will look back on this one day and thank your baby for making you stronger I promise
3 Likes
As an adopted child I am pleading with you to NOT give up your fight to being that babies mom, boys need their mommas something FIERCE like since often times they are not in tune with their emotions. You said dad isnāt that great & even gives you PTSD like symptomsā¦what do you think will happen to the kiddo?
That baby will miss you, question why you left him but not the siblings, why you left him with his dad of all peopleā¦donāt throw in the towel- itās just a tougher fight , but THAT kid needs YOU.
5 Likes
Iām sorry but you donāt get to pick and choose what kids you raiseā¦be a mom or donāt!
Yes, Iām judging and you sound awful!
ALL of your kids deserve better!!
12 Likes
If the father is a horrible person he will hurt your child. Iām trying to understand how you could love your other children but willing to give up your youngest. Have you tried considering him up to adoption?
5 Likes
If the babyās life could possibly be in danger or even you could hurt him and not love hims accordingly, there are families who could love him and cherish him the way he deserves
2 Likes
What the fuck did I just read?
1 Like
Adopt him out to family or an adoption agency. Youāll know then how much you truly love him. Get serious counseling. Itās not normal. You have an illness. Get help before the poor child is in serious danger.
What about your mother, is she a part of you life?? Do you think she could keep him??
Also, You have mention he was abusive to you, but How was he with your other kids?? Did he hurt them in any way. How is his mother? Is she a part of his life and your childs?? Will they be good guardian to the child? And is that the kind of environment you want your child growing up in?
And seek counseling, it sounds like you need it so much, and keep going.
1 Like
Omg what did I just read? This poor boy isnāt loved by you or your ex and you want to leave him with your ex that your scared of. That poor innocent child. Thatās your child, your blood. I am so heartbroken. I have 3 boys and omg I cannot imagine my life without them.
4 Likes
The comments on here are unreal and cruelā¦ I canāt imagine what youāre going through gurl. I donāt have any advice except to seek better therapy. Sounds like the doctors failed you and in return failing your son. Best of luck to you and yoursš
4 Likes
That child is gonna need you and will grow on you as soon as you get past what it is that you have with the father. If heās not treating you like he should go to court and have meet up at a police or sheriffās office but I would also ask the courts to do an evaluation on him. If that donāt work then I would adopt the child out to a loving family that wants a kid so that way the child will have a happy life that it deserves
If the father is so awful, wtf are you considering leaving your child with him? So messed up. Very very selfish in my opinion so so sad. I feel awful for this baby. Some people shouldnāt have the right to have children. Ever. Poor innocent baby
6 Likes