Please read this before any other rude comments are posted like above. If your child would be safe in just his fathers hands, you can do so without signing him over completely. Maybe in the future you will get your mental state sorted out and the feeling will come. If not don’t worry about it. You’re your own person and don’t have to raise the child if you don’t want to and you’re leaving it in the correct an safe situation youd face no charges and honestly save the kid a life long of being drug around with a mom who doesn’t love him. Do what you must to make a better life for you BOTH if you can’t do anything else for the child.
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Send him my way, I’ll adopt him. This makes me so sad. I could never imagine treating my kids any different. I’m obsessed with my boys. Gosh, I hope this mom does the right thing for this baby. I bet that baby thinks his mom is his whole world and she has these feelings. My heart hurts for him.
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I cannot offer any advice as I wouldn’t be in that position. I wouldn’t give up my child especially to someone who has mistreated me.
I hope everything works out for your child. 
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Do what you feel is best…don’t listen to the negativity…but honestly it sounds like you resent the dad more(which is understandable). If he’s abusive why would you sign them over if you don’t mind me asking? I understand your situation but why do you think that would be the best choice?
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Honestly darl, it sounds like you have PTSD from that relationship and also possibly PND. I would seek other kinds of help instead of signing him over to his dad. By the picture you have painted, he doesn’t sound like he is responsible or safe for that matter to have that child. But in saying that, he may be a wonderful father and just a shitcunt boyfriend 🤷
What ever you decide just remember, you won’t be able to undo your decision so you need to think long and hard and also about what is best for the child now and in his future. Good luck and all the best with your choice you make X
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Sounds to me like you just want to give up your rights because u can’t handle a third child.
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So you want to sign your right over to someone who gives you ptsd, and sounds rather abusive? No bond or not, at least get the kid out of the situation. This is insane to me.
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Youre right it isnt the baby’s fault. I feel so bad for him. Hes a baby and for sure feels everything youre feeling. I cant imagine that i could never. Idk what to tell you i dont think theres a diagnosis or prescription to make it better. You feel what you feel and you sound like youve made up your mind. Dont think signing him over would make you feel any better but hes suffering too and doesnt know why. Thats sad honestly hes gonna grow up thinking why didnt his mom want him. The dad doesnt sound like a better choice either ?
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Shame i feel so so sad for you son 
I hope and pray that you are able to love him and care for him soon, cos if his father cnt be der for him and neither can you…he is in ruins
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She never said her ex abused the kid , , and he wanted the kid . So we must assume he is good to him .
With that being said , if he loves him and he is a good father to him and he isn’t abusing him, then I say , by all means , yes let the child live with him . At least he will be loved and not feel like he is a burden .
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If he is a good dad, by all means sign him over. He will hopefully get the love that right now you can not give him. Post postum depression is hard to diagnose. Do what you feel is best for the baby.
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From what it sounds like is you may feel that way because the child is from your ex boyfriend who treats you like shit and there’s apart of him in the child y’all have together so you maybe feeling a certain way because of it. I hope things can resolve because your baby deserves to have love & care along with his siblings I personally feel the best thing is if you do feel the need to give up your child is find a family member who you feel would fit to take in & raise your son right because leaving him with his dad who’s had past violence or overall treated you horribly I can only imagine how he’ll treat y’all’s son. Of course your decision but just in my case I feel it’s more comfortable to have him with someone trusting for the moment and go to court and see what the judge may say it’s mainly the child who’s going to be in the middle of it all and you do have to do what you feel is right especially since this will affect him in the long run as he grows up and wonders about the reason he was given up to his dad or a family member just really think more about it to ensure yourself this is the decision you want to take no judgment here just hope everything works out for you!
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No don’t give him to his dad if hes abusive it’s learnt behaviour and your child will eventually copy. I’ve been there! It seems to me you have these feelings towards your ex and you’re taking it out on your son!! He needs his mama. I also Think you need help dealing with what you went thru and then maybe in time you will love your son just like your other two x
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I’m sorry but this isn’t healthy.
Coming to the book about your problems and saying how awful it was for you , why would you allow that to happen to your babies. I’m sorry I’d say screw you , let’s co-parent. But no way would I sign my rights over. Think about this one. And understand what that means when you do it…
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It’s good that you’ve been seeking professional help for your mental health.
I’d ask a professional about the rights/future of your 3rd child. Maybe a government or adoption advocate?
I’m not well versed in legal matters, but I would think the father would have to sign over rights as well.
It sounds like (from you) he’s not the greatest.
Child protective services might be able to help during this tough time.
Best wishes 
Give him up for adoption. Dad can get fucked.
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If he is a good father to the boy…let his daddy have him. Having thoughts like this could easily escalate into doing something to him you will regret…or end up hurting him mentally or physically.
But girl, make sure…once you terminate your rights…thats it.
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If his Father is a safe person to parent him, then pass custody over.
Don’t sign all parental rights away just yet though.
Some space & time, legally organised visitation schedule … You may find that you can have a relationship with your son still.
PTSD, depression, hidden trauma that still needs dealing won’t help because you can’t separate yourself from son right now.
So yeah, your little boy is better off with a Parent who won’t hate his presence at this crucial stage of his life.
Good luck with it all & I hope your son can be cared for fully in the near future.
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If you’re child is in no danger around his father and you think it’d be best for him, go for it.
I’ve experienced firsthand being the child that was resented, it’s not fun and it’s fucked me up for years. If you can help your son avoid that by signing over rights, then so be it.
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I am genuinely confused on how so many women are on here saying you don’t have to raise that child, or just give him to his dad yet when a father doesn’t want a child they are a POS. 
not judging at all bc I am not in your shoes.
However I do hope you find some peace and a way to heal and make a connection with him. Best of luck!!
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This is really really sad, I feel for your son cuz im sure to him your his world:pensive:
…maybe u feel like this towards him cuz u hate his dad?..but if your gonna hand him over do it the right way and with the right person, if u feel like his dad isnt gonna treat him right just put him up for adoption the right way…so he can live a good life…good luck to u…I couldnt do it…
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It’s okay and NORMAL to feel this way. I was a single mama of three kids at one point. My oldest two donor wasn’t in the picture bc he was an abusive POS. My third, my mental health was shit and I felt we were toxic together but her father was an amazing father and is an amazing person to co parent with. So I left, got therapy and took care of my babies solo. After some time I entered the dating scene again. Steady saw a trucker and things were okay at first but then red flags began to appear. One weekend while the oldest two were visiting with their grandmother and the youngest was with her father for his weekend visits, my bf at the time raped me…I got pregnant. I don’t believe in abortion and chose to keep the kid. I didn’t bond during the pregnancy with the baby and I felt a lot of guilt bc of it. My therapist said it was bc of the abuse and the way she was conceived, that it was normal and I wasn’t the only one she’d met with a similar story. She said as humans we rely on our senses, sight, touch, scent, etc and bc of the trauma and carrying someone that I couldn’t feel yet, couldn’t see or anything made it that much harder to bond. When she was born, I took great care of her just like my others but again, we did not bond. I didn’t dislike her, I just didn’t feel anything for her, neutral I guess. Again, I continued with my therapist, we worked with depression and anxiety meds. Before her I already had PTSD, anxiety and major depressive disorder. I also had a history of post partum depression. We worked through it, it wasn’t easy but we did. My ex harassed me for a long time and I thought about giving that baby up MANY times. However, I’m so glad I didn’t. She’s amazing and soon to be two, I have a great marriage now and she is a daddy’s girl to my husband…it’s your choice with what you do. If you feel you can’t parent that baby then put him up for adoption.i say that only bc if the ex is abusive, he doesn’t deserve that baby. Talk to child services and see what they can do. Just make sure this what you REALLY want bc there is no undoing this once it’s done. You will eventually have to answer to the other two kids about what happened to their baby sibling and that’s okay, just make sure you try other resources first. Take back your mental health and work on you. I was a single mom of four and it was hard but I found a way. As a mom, we just always do some how. There could be child care programs in your area that may be able to help with the little one. Unfortunately two is a hard age to give up a baby bc they do remember you, it does emotionally mess with them a little but it is up to you to do what’s best for not just you but the small human too. Just please don’t give him to the ex if he is abusive, that baby deserves better than that.
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Are you being this open and honest with your therapists? I definitely feel this is ptsd related and resentment around your ex. connecting to your son must be so difficult when you need to see your abuser to do so. I think a mother and baby unit stay would be beneficial to help sort your mental health and connect and bond with your son In a supervised environment. Is there one in your area?
In the meantime can you arrange handovers to be done through a third party? So you don’t have to see your ex at all?
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This is the first time I can’t think of any advise because it is so sad I just couldn’t imagine not seeing my kids grow and knowing their ok living with someone who’s made me so mentally screwed up that I didn’t want them.
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So you are willing to sign one baby off to a person who was an abuser, but keep the other two. That’s just wrong. Please seek professional help & talk deeply about it before making a permanent decision. I’ll be praying for the baby.
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Seek God… sometimes even professional therapy doesnt have all the answers & may not help. I believe With God all things are possible. Find a womens bible study group or a church or maybe even a pastor that you can talk to about this. The word of God is powerful and trust me it’s life changing. Only good comes when you seek God.
A saying that helps me when I feel defeated “God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers” with that being said he would never give you Anything in life you cannot handle… and you will only come out stronger. It won’t be easy and it sounds like it hasnt been but please stay strong minded and always always remember to pray to God, truly pray. He hears our needs and knows our needs before we even ask for it. Stay strong. Let go, & Let GOD!
When I’m stressed and feel overwhelmed I pray and give my worries & stress to God and he always delivers! Be open to this and keep fighting for your kids. They need their mommy. You are capable. May God bless you and come to you in this time of need!
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I would never send my child back into a relationship that we escaped from. No way! Your son will be older soon and it will get easier. You could do a no contact with visitation exchange through relative, school, childcare or counselor. I know it’s tough my daughter went through a horrible toxic relationship. She got out and I made the exchanges with the dad. You can create new memories and take the ex out of your life. Blessings
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Sounds so hard.
I don’t have actual advice, just sending a big virtual hug and sending you strength.
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It had to have taken a lot of courage to express your feelings here❤️
My hearts hurts for you and your 2 year old. I hope he doesn’t feel unloved… do you truly think his dad would raise him better than you would? Would he be loved, valued, respected, protected in his dads home? If so, maybe have your son stay with his dad. I wouldn’t sign rights away unless you feel 100% no love or attachment towards him. How would this affect your two other kids? Do they know you feel this way? Would his dad even take him? If his dad won’t take him would HE sign his rights away so that you could place him in a home that wants him? Do you feel the way you do towards your son since you have to “ deal” with his dad? Would you feel differently about your son if you didn’t have to have any interactions with his dad? I’m really sorry you are struggling with this. I’m sure you’ve given this a lot of thought. I hope you pray on this
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The father is “cruel and mean” to mom, so how does she know she is the only person he is that way with? Why would she turn over the child to a father who is “cruel and mean”? I understand she says she can’t bond with the child, but she needs to try harder to bond with him.
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I’m disgusted by this.
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Sign that baby over to the father, your son deserves love and if you can’t even provide the most basic thing but the father can then give the baby to his father.
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How can you shave such feelings, towards something so beautiful that shared life with you! You’re punishing him because of his father…
You can give him a chance to live a better life without his father…
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Ignore the negative comments.
You deserve credit for not ignoring your feelings. If you know your child will have a better life with Dad and his family, sigh your rights over.
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Think of your child and not yourself! Do not sign all rights over unless you just don’t wanna see that child ever again! Im 21 with three children and i love being a mother and am doing it all myself. Single no one helps me. Just remain strong and do not let your child down. Only do what you think is best.
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Don’t give up on your child because you have to put up a fight talk about ptsd your going to screw that kid up
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As a now grown woman who came from the system because my mother signed off on me when I was 9 years old…. please do not give this child abandonment issues from an early age. It will mentally and emotionally f*ck him up for the rest of his life. He will never learn how to cope with ANYTHING. This will create depression, anxiety, self love issues and he will never know how to love or accept anyone.
If you truly don’t want him because you don’t want another child, or can’t take care of another child, please give him up for adoption to a family who will love and care for him. Where he will feel the love and safety he will receive from them.
Or, if you maybe have postpartum depression that is underlying, please get help. Get that connection back with your baby. We as moms are not made to just disconnect from our babies for no reason. Don’t make any life changing decisions until you’re checked by a PCP. Once you sign off on a child, you can never get them back.
My ex husband is a real piece of work but the best thing he gave me was our children and I could never love them any less or never want them any less just because that’s who I CHOSE TO LAY DOWN WITH. We’re grown. We make those decisions. Not our children. Don’t make him suffer for something he can’t control.
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Wow I’m total opposite I had 4 children to my very first relationship and we had a lot of dv after 18 years I finally left and had a short relationship which resulted in me having a baby to him also he was horrible he cheated on me and got another girl pregnant at the same time I left that relationship and had another daughter to my very first partner so now I have 5 with him. He treats my other daughter the same as his children if not better and my relationship with her is amazing we wouldn’t change it for the world it just works for us I guess.
Your situation is so sad it’s not your sons fault and one day will definitely have problems due to this I mean how can a mother reject her child ? I bond with all babies in my family maybe that’s just me. So sad I hope your son gets the love he deserves and some.
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Maybe you feel that way because of the relationship you have/had with his father. Maybe you hold that against your son?
Learning how to disassociate your son from his father might help. That could be why it’s different with your other two, you get along and can co parent with the dad.
Learning how to accept the past as it was and letting go of it. Realizing that your past no longer controls you, it was just a phase where you were finally able to move on and move forward. You may still have to communicate with your ex but he can’t control you anymore. You have the power in your hands to be better, and do better. Your son is a little blessing who needs his mother guidance to be a good man(:
I have a son whom I had with my ex. My ex and I could never get along and he was mentally abusive. Your more than welcome to pm me. I’ve been to court a handlful of times and I’ve had to deal with him and his gf verbal abuse. It’s only just now calmed down abit.
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thank u to all the negative twits on here. How do u think this whole thing makes her feel?! she sounds like she beats herself up enough let alone a bunch of randoms she’s never met beating up on her. Could be worse u know, she could just snap and kill him then watch the bashing. least she’s thinking of handing him over to the father. plus we don’t know how the father is with his child, towards her yes he was horrible but to the kid we don’t know. Us mum’s can’t win with anything we go thru. I can feel the anguish and fear and heartbreak in this post from the person who posted this. Ease up and actually help her instead of dragging her down and made to feel worse then what she already does! oh and for the peeps telling her to get help?! read this post properly she has been getting nothing but professional help.
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Sounds like depression to me , I wouldn’t do it , for all you know it’s the depression making you feel like this love , imagine stuff falls into place then you realize your missing your child the asshole doesn’t let you see him anymore ? It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, no ones perfect , try to seek help
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First, I can relate but I’m actually with babies dad because I made a vow to work things out while working on him. If he is a first time father he needs to let you take the lead. I disliked baby daddy because just as you stated they can be cruel and mean. I’m stubborn so I try to communicate in various ways how I feel, what needs to be done, and never back down from something I feel strongly about. Second, I didn’t want my son either but decided to have him. At first, I didn’t connect with my son I just knew he needed me. However, if you’re able to differentiate baby from dad you’ll learn to love him. I grew to be in love with my lil monster 
Don’t allow your relationship with baby daddy to overlook your creation. Don’t give up on neither one of them both baby daddy and your son. You have to fight, life is hard right now but you got this. All of us are here 
Yes, anybody who feels like this should probably not be in their child’s life. She should sign away her rights. She will do more harm than good for the kid.
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You love your kids with the first partner cz he is understanding and co-parenting… and u feel disconnected to the 3rd cz his father is not understanding… are you sure what are you doing? Its all in your thoughts. I mean you didn’t abort the child cz u just wanted to stay in his house with your 2 kids and u left when you were able to afford. You used that poor soul and now you are saying u want best for him… I mean wow… slow claps for you…I am more worried for that innocent soul. What is his mistake? Out of the world he only needs his mother at this age… why girls dont use their brain before getting pregnant and punishing the child cz of their thoughtless acts?? Sorry, but I feel the child is more in danger with you having this mindset.
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I don’t understand why so many people are leaving negative comments. She’s already admitted that she’s hurt by how she feels toward her child, she clearly doesn’t want to feel this way and has put effort in to fix the issue and can’t. If she’s looking to find him a better life why is she being berated for it? It’s not always mental, sometimes moms cannot connect with all their kids. I believe she loves and cares for him but can’t provide the same connection and comfort she can with her other children so she wants to find that for him. She wanted an abortion and was threatened if she got one. People are so quick to hate on a mother when they were forced into a horrible situation they tried so hard to avoid. Quit saying poor baby, or you feel bad for the son the whole point is she’s trying to figure out a way to give him a better life. Hopefully one day if he has questions she can explain it and with an open mind he may understand.
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Just throwing this idea out. What if he has him the majority of the time and when the child does come it’s just you and him. Example he comes over for one weekend a month or one day a week. That way he still gets some relationship with you and your not overwhelmed with guilt or the responsibilities on a third child. Anyways praying that you and him receive what is needed.
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The kid shouldn’t pay for ur mistake period yes give the kid up so they can have the life they deserve !
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Sounds like post natal depression- it’s common and sometimes it does mean u don’t form a bond- it’s sad and I feel for u all good on you for reaching out, some people are terrible partners but amazing parents and hopefully that’s what babies dad is - if he’s horrible to baby too, maybe ask a family member if they can take him on maybe, but definitely do what u need to do for the benefit of baby and your self and the other kids - unfortunate situation but maybe even a few months down the track without bubba you’ll realise how much you love and miss him being near u and that could kick start the bond? -
People are nasty so don’t take it to heart too much because they obviously aren’t understanding - yet if they see a baby being dumped or neglected they’d say why not reach out for help or give to someone who can give baby that life they need- and this is exactly why, the nasty backlash. so either way someone will fault ur actions so follow ur heart and what u believe is right xx definitely seek a different medical diagnoses too as the one u have sounds very miss heard all the best
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I am so sorry mama. I’m so sorry you feel this way. It’s not like you are choosing to feel this. There definitely may be some ptsd and the fact you wanted an abortion for reasons you felt were necessary, and weren’t able to do so, I feel that has a huge impact. I’m so sorry you feel this way. Try therapy, do what you can. Try ever possible way you can to bond and love this child, and if you feel in the end it is not possible, giving him to someone who can give him everything he needs mentally and emotionally is completely justifiable. Yes, he may have issues down the road, such as wondering why and go through hard times, but if you can’t give him the love and nurturing he deserves, he most certainly will hurt even more wondering why the mom he lived with his entire life didn’t love or treat him properly. Either way, there will be pros and cons. That’s why I suggest therapy and anything else you feel you can do until you know for sure that it won’t be any better. Don’t give up but also don’t make him suffer in the long run. Either way, regrets will be there. Do what you in your heart feel is right.
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He’s as much his parent as you are. If he’s good to him let him take him.
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It sounds like you’re resentful towards your ex and taking it out on your child! If the ex is that bad why would you want to leave a child in his care? Maybe see a therapist? I hope it gets better x
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I suffered post natal depression, I couldn’t bond and had no feeling for me baby, I ended up on medication and it turned me upside down, the amount of love I have now makes my heart burst.
It’s easy for all these internet mums to make you the villain but I promise help is out there!
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It sounds like you do have ptsd and without treating that, your reviving your trauma. You’ve associated your son with your trauma and you are feeling those negative feelings all over again every time you see your son, especially since you said you don’t co parent well.
I would look for treatment for your ptsd and see if a family member can help you out with dealing with all of your responsibilities while doing so. If you want to know more into my thinking look into the case of little Albert if you aren’t familiar. That was my immediate thought and the sooner you try to get a treatment plan in place, the clearer your thoughts will be.
It sounds like you do care about your son, you said you are kept awake at night and you cry over these feelings, but your ptsd from the past relationship has made it harder for you to bond with your son
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Maybe adoption would be best, there are many couples that are unable to have children that would love this little guy unconditionally. Having a potential abusive father, and an unstable mother is no good for either of them to raise him at this point. There are adoptions that are willing to let the donor parents be part of the child’s life, maybe this would be the best option.
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Your son loves you unconditionally with all his heart please remember this & don’t give up on him. I understand you’re doing the best you can but you don’t want your son learning from his dad either.
I personally think you’re having trouble bonding with him because you’ve had too much trauma regarding his dad and you don’t know how to. That little boy isn’t his father though; he’s a blessing that came from a horrible situation.
I personally think that psychotherapy would be best for you and so would EMDR therapy. They both help with PTSD.
Prayers for you and your family.
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I’d keep fighting mama… I have 3. Its not easy. Some days are hell. My ex’s dont make it easy but they need us mama
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History tells us the best thing you can do for your child is love their Mom
At the very least your X sounds like he is not going to be able to show his son how to love.& not hate
I would never judge anyone
I believe you are suffering from a number of things depression anxiety possibly PTSD
I think continuing therapy is number one especially group therapy where you will see & hear others input decisions & how/where they received help
Talk to your family doctor a physiologist & be frank & truthful with everyone
Definitely never see your ex… get a third party involved
I think you are severely overwhelmed right now
Once you have received a little more help & are able to see beyond your devastation right now…you may feel more positive
You need help figuring out your life
Giving your baby up is a decision only you can make
I am a senior with 5.adult children & 18 grandchildren & grt grandchildren
Don’t try to make a rash decision based on your present situation
Separate yourself from your ex is key
I also was an abused wife on my own with 5 children
The number 1 rule for me was never place a partner over the well being of your children
Whatever your decision please don’t make it hastily
Give yourself time
I think your anxiety is playing a major role in your decision making
Rash decisions can set you up for a life of misery
I’m not sure your son should be with his father
You may well be setting your son up for a life of misery & abuse by his father
Honestly I think you feel the need to resolve the whole issue with respect to your son because you think it will help you move on with your life when it may very well set you up for regret worry.worsened anxiety & constantly diagnosing your choice
Take some time
If you strive to be the best person you can be & give yourself a chance to repair I believe you will make the right decision & move on with no regrets
No judgment at all on my part
You’ll do what is best for you & your children
You sound as though you have no one to talk with apart from doctors & medical persons
Try getting into some groups for women in similar circumstances
You may get your answer just by listening & fully contributing to the group
I wish you the best always & your children
By the way I was adopted by wonderful parents unrelated to me
I had two very difficult marriages that truly mimic "The War of the Roses " movie
It’s just history
You’ll never understand it all so move on keep away from any nonsense or derogatory comments from the ex & do what’s best for you
Many big hugs coming your way
Good Luck
Believe in yourself 
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He needs you! Please keep fighting
I had my 3rd son just a little over a year after my only daughter died. I thought if I got pregnant again it would fill the huge hole I had in my heart. However when he was born I felt absolutely nothing for him and actually resented the fact that he wasn’t my daughter and was another boy. I felt like the worse person in the world and like I didn’t deserve to be a mother at all. Like you said, he didn’t ask to be born. I didn’t even hold him when he was born. As a matter of fact he was almost 4 months old before I held him. It was a bond that I had to work at unlike the bond I had with my other children. I don’t know why everyone assumes that just because we’re women we are suppose to just automatically have this overwhelming desire to nurture every single baby we come in contact with or give birth too ESPECIALLY when there is some type of trauma attached to their birth. I too spent a lot of time in therapy because I wanted to end my own life because I felt like such a horrible person. I learned from going to therapy though that it is actually pretty normal to feel emotionless toward a child that is born after trauma. And being in a toxic relationship is definitely considered trauma. Now I’m not one that believes in abortion (I’m sure there will be someone that has a nasty comment about my beliefs and honestly I don’t give a shit).
My advice, give yourself a break, continue the therapy and you do whatever you think is best for YOUR son. Do I think you should sign your parental rights away? Absolutely not. Do I think it’s ok for you to give your ex majority custody? Absolutely. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you know your child is safe with him and will be well loved and taken care of then go for it. But I do believe that what you’re feeling right now will change when your life circumstances change. And I would hate to see you close that door completely because you WILL want a relationship with him one day. Give him custody but stay open for visitation. All these people with their negative comments have no idea what you’re going through or what you’ve already come through. Hold your head high momma. You can do this.
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You have post partum depression and certainly ptsd both of which are completely different to “normal” depression.
With ppd what you are explaining is very common and believe it or not easily treated with the correct therapy and it’s even more common when the pregnancy is a stressful one. Presumably you are a victim of dv and should not be seeing or handing over your child directly.
This is so normal in your circumstances and the people saying you need to try harder or that you’re evil can gft.
You need targeted therapy immediately and you need it now before you (inadvertently or not) hurt him or yourself.
This is NOT your fault. That’s the first thing you need to know but whoever diagnosed you needs their license revoked because they’re useless.
You can get through it though lovely. You just need the right help by the right service.
Take care.
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Imagine if he treated the child in the way he treated you. I couldn’t hand him over. I would rather he go to family I know would love and care for him
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Picture him as a young adult searching for you and asking why you loved his siblings and not him. Because it will happen I see it posted a lot. Before you make any decisions I hope you seek professional help for post partum depression which is causing this feeling. You may also want to add some co parenting classes for you and his dad. Maybe you need a middle person to do exchanges until you get your parenting classes and seek treatment. You may not know it but to him you are his world! 
Fight for your babies everyday! 
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I whole heartedly believe no one can speak on behalf of this unless you have truly been in this exact position. Everyone who negatively is responding clearly has never been in this situation. It is not as easy coming as most would like to convince themselves it is. The true reality is, you went through trauma. You have in some degree tried to address the issue, unfortunately it has not changed your feelings and that is okay. I don’t think signing your rights away would be ideal simply because one day things may change and you may decided you want to rebuild a relationship with your son and signing away your rights will ultimately end permanently. Don’t take something temporary and make it permanent. Seek out a psychotherapist to do an assessment for postpartum depression. Assess the situation, is the child’s father good to your son and do you have any safety concerns physically and mentally for your son to live with the dad? Offer the dad a week on week off schedule or everyother weekend. It is incredibly hard as a mother to have to heal from trauma, depression all while being a mother and never having a true moment to heal. You need to have self care and allow yourself to face the issues and address them head on. I don’t think this is resentment, simply you made a decision because a man mentally abused and control you, you had no confidence in yourself that you could do it alone. That is domestic violence and narcissistic abuse. Seek the opportunity to allow yourself to be a mother to your son and the chance to grow and heal. Us as moms have it hard no matter the situation it’s never easy but at some point it’s always worth it. Get a 3rd party contact to do exchange and ONLY speak to the father when the need arise about your son and ONLY through email. You are not a bad person nor are you a horrible mother. You have a dark cloud and thunderstorm blocking you from seeing the rainbow on the otherside. Do what you feel Ultimately is best for YOU and YOUR family. Never let your son see or hear your feelings toward him, keep encouraging, one on one and see it for the otherside. Imagine if you were in your son’s shoes and your parents felt this way about you, how would you feel and how would you want that to change? See things through all sides even though your depression is clouding that. Praying for you and I pray you get the self care you need and resolution in your heart. Don’t jump on giving up your rights, just like abortions you may regret it some day. Find forgiveness in your heart, it is the first step. Find a celebrate recovery group for domestic violence and do the 12 steps, it will help!
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Yes and then stay away. Your child deserves complete love and attention you said you cannot give.
How is being a abusive good parenting what the hell do not sign your child over
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Woiye that baby needs motherly love…be his world…keep praying for yourself and with God everything is possible
It definitely sounds like you have Post Partum depression and that is why you aren’t connecting with your baby but that baby chose you because he knows you love him deeply& you can do it. Please find a better doctor so you can get this depression controlled! I really wish the best for this precious baby & you:heart:
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Please don’t listen to these mean lady’s on here! I’m so surprised nobody mentioned PostPartum depression & again this really sounds like that was what you have, definitely get a second opinion!
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I’m sure I’ll probably get hated for this but I wanted to congratulate you OP on how self aware you are on this situation and feelings. There are tons of people in denial of their feelings and their is nothing sadder than a child wondering why they aren’t enough. This is not a decision I would take likely and if you are certain you are not providing him with what he needs to grow as a happy healthy adult you should let his dad have primary custody. We as a society need to stop shaming women who are incapable of being a mother. There are so many children who are harmed or killed because these women have no way out. Do what’s best for him period.
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Saying you want him to do well and flourish says you love him and care.
Maybe get a third party involved for visitation hand offs. I think your ex is the trigger. See if that helps.
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Listen babe its not the childs fault and your child needs his momma it sounds like your ex is the problem , iv been in a situation where I thought id be better of not being a mum and feelings are a kick in the teeth and can change so quickly , your ex and child dont fit into your routine thats what so stressful but you will get there and you will learn , dont drop him because of his dad your his mama the fact you care means you love your baby!x
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You really need to seek more help, this sounds like more than just depression and anxiety. He didn’t choose to be born and deserves the best he can have in life just as much as your other children. You need to get some serious help. And think about what’s best for your child. I’m sorry you’re going through this it’s horrible but I also feel so bad for your child.
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I 100% understand how you feel, you were pressured into having a baby that you knew you didn’t want to begin with - that’s a lot of trauma for a body to go through especially while receiving physical/emotional abuse off the father. No one can blame you for not having a bond with your baby with him… as a mum it’s our jobs to make sure our babies are healthy and loved. So if you feel like putting up that baby for adoption to a family you feel will treat him better then you do that. Please don’t listen to these horrible people, they just haven’t experienced what you’ve felt and had to deal with. I had no attachment to my baby girl when she was born and my relationship with her father was great… but from my traumatic birth I had no bond with her at all and now 2 years in I’m only just gaining that warm feeling towards her. I can’t imagine looking at that child’s face and seeing the father every time knowing how much he’d hurt you. You need to be the best you to look after your other children, do what’s best for you and your mental health. I promise that baby boy will understand as he gets older and will have a loving family to look after him.
People seem to forget you had no choice in having this baby, it was a forceful decision on you and your 2 little ones. But please don’t sign him over to the father, adoption to a secured and loving family will be much better for him. Do the right thing for you x
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It really sounds like you were in a tough situation and you did the best you could by having the baby. If I had bern in your shoes with no where to go, I would have done the same thing. It really sounds like you have transferred the feelings toward your ex to the child. You are doing the right thing by asking quests d getting help bc it shows you care and you both deserve better. He deserves to be in a loving home and you don’t need to live with having all these feelings. I would my want to be in your shoes but I’m praying right now for the Situation.
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No. You’ll get through this
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Do you want him to treat his girlfriend/Wife like he treated you? Because that’s what will happen if you do that, if he has hit you or did anything abusive towards you you need to get a restraining order against him, he can’t make any contact with you at all!!
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Having a baby with someone you didn’t want to have a child with. Someone that abused, manipulated, and controlled you. Is probably really close to a rape victim having their abusers child. When you see the child you see them. Yes you resent them and yes you have bonding problems. It has to be very hard but by seeking help you’re already on the right path. Don’t be tohard on yourself. Your child does need you! His father doesn’t sound like he’s what’s best for your child. He most certainly wouldn’t have a better life without you in it. It’s hard to admit you may not be what’s best for your baby. It takes a strong, loving, caring person to admit that let alone seek help for it. You’ve been through so much and it can’t be easy. I’m sorry you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel right now but I promise it’s there.
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I was the child that my mother didn’t want… I now have cptsd, anxiety,on and off depression and can honestly say if it wasn’t for my beautiful children, I wouldn’t be here because of my childhood.
Please for his sake, give him to someone who will love and protect him 
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Definitely sounds like PPD. I had it too. Didn’t form a true connection with my daughter until I sought treatment when she was 18 months old. Didn’t realize I was sick. They put me on Fluoxetine 20mg for 6 months and I was back to “normal”. From there I finally fell madly in love with her. I hope you have a happy outcome as well. Best of luck.
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Firstly I am so sorry you’re feeling this way. It must be a very hard and scary time for you.
You’ve come to the internet for advice so be prepared for a lot of horrible and judgmental responses- some people just don’t understand mental health.
I feel in this situation you need to do what is right by your son, if he has a chance of a loving home and will be adored and cared for, it’s definitely worth thinking about, even if it’s only temporary until you figure out what’s going on. Being in an abusive relationship has really a crazy impact on our life.
Well done for reaching out for advice it sounds like you have been taking the right steps to make sure you and your son are okay. Unfortunately the brain is such a complex complicated part of our, who knows why we feel the way we do sometimes. Do what is right for your son mumma. My inbox is always open. Xxx
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Before you make a decision about this there are a lot of things to seriously consider. Would your son and his older siblings still be able to have a relationship? If they all see each other as loves ones and siblings, which hopefully they do, then you don’t want to take that away from them. Would your son be safe and happy with his father? Is his father a good parent or would you be leaving him in an abusive environment with no way to help him of needed. And very importantly, are your feelings permanent or temporary, if you give up your rights and then go through healing and realize you do love your son, he has no responsibility to welcome you back into his life regardless of if you can legally regain those rights. If you don’t feel like you can objectively answer any of these questions then you should seek help, not from internet comments but from someone who has the ability to see the situation firsthand and can tell you if your trauma is making you see things in a skewed manner. It might be best for both you and your son to break ties, but that is a decision that has a lot of very serious consequemcea and should not be done from q purely emotional point.
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Try some zoloft but it’s definitely ppd. It’s not shameful at all. These meds help you cope and make things easier. I know its scary and something new but this child needs his momma. You are doing great. I know what anxiety and depression feels like and tbh it’s not very nice 
but you have the willpower to get through it. I know it.
Keep your chin up you’re doing amazing and I’m proud of you for asking for help. Thats step one. And for parental take him to court and have it on papers
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Definitely sounds like you have PTSD from that relationship or post natal depression/ postpartum and maybe that is why you struggle to bond with your son… He came from that relationship and has tied you to the ex boyfriend for life something you definitely didn’t want… I’d go to a doctor for more advice and really explain it all like you have here
This is a lesson for others to read, if you truly feel like you do not want the pregnancy, do not hesitate to not go through with it. Children do no deserve to be born into a world where they are not loved, they did not ask to be born, if you do not want them, do not have them. No child deserves to go through life wondering why their parents didn’t want them and why they were not good enough to be kept. And please do not get me started on adoption or orphanages, you may seem like sending them there makes them better off…, it doesn’t. The system is overcrowded as it is, children grow into teens and than grow into adults and are kicked out from these places without much help on how to stand on their own. That being said, do what’s right for YOU. But do not make children suffer for the decisions you made. If his dad is willing to take him and you know is a good father and won’t abuse him in anyway, sign your rights over, if not… I hope that child grows up in a good home.
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Think about this for a second. If his father wasn’t in your life do you think it would change things? I honestly think you should cut his dad out completely from YOUR life. Have someone do pick ups and drops off for you. When he messages you for anything only respond to things pertaining to your son and keep answers as short and simple as possible. Your ptsd from the relationship has made you put up a mental block around your feelings toward your child. You can not heal that wound until the father is out of your mind. Do not give up your rights to your son until that anxiety of being around the father or even speaking with him is gone. Once it’s gone it means that wall is gone and from there you will be healed to make a decision with a sound mind. Good luck
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You know what he did to you. How do you think he will treat him as a growing boy. Really good ideas here. Like maybe have outside source to the exchanges. Or make pick up and drop off point at a police station. A little extra safety can ease your mind a lot I bet. Prayers for you and yours.
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I couldn’t turn my back on my kids because their dad is an asshole! Just made me love them more cos I’m all he had… and I make it my life goal to make sure he turns out nothing like him… makes me so proud to see how loving and caring he is towards me im his whole world and he adores me 
wouldn’t be able to live with him thinking no one loves or cares about him it would destroy me… please make sure you make the right decision look at all your options first speak to drs again explain how you feel please get some support x
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You are a very brave and strong lady , for telling and reaching out for help , to which proves your deep love him really. It is the feelings for his father and the abuse , which is triggering you. X
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If he was that awful to you, imagine how he would be to that kid…. Don’t sign over rights. If anything try to revoke his. That child IS YOURS and abandoning him isn’t going to fix you.
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Hey mama, think first. Do you really really love this child like your other 2?, do you think you are just stressed?. Call the police babe or take videos of how he is treating you. Because he is the child father doesn’t give him a right to treat you like shit, it must stop.
You will regret it if you abandon the child, the child may never forgive you. Of course look after your self first and dont put your self through difficult situations for them but do something about him! Police involved or something.
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You need a better therapist, doesn’t sound like the one are seeing is helping you
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If he was bad to you he may be bad to the child!! Do not sign over your rights! Get a new therapist! If push come to shove I would LOVE to take the baby in… add me on Facebook an message me anytime you want! I have 3 kids of my own and 2 that I took in! So that’s 5! I love kids! You can always talk to me
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To me it sounds like post natal depression u need counselling tell ur doctor how ur feeling, and be completely honest u obviously love him as u want wats best for him and want to make sure he’s happy, I think maybe with some counselling u will get there it’s hard as he’s a part of u ex u just have to see him as a part of u instead it’s really hard and it takes time but I think if u give him up u will regret it, can’t u get some kind of rest bite to help u out I really hope ur okay and feel better soon u sound like an amazing mom just keep doing wat ur doing and keep going it will come in time but take some time to really think about wat u want cuz once u give him up u can’t get him bk xxxx
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You must be suffering so much. I am so sorry you are struggling. No words of advice just complete and utter sympathy.
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If your ex is that bad, why would you want to sign over custody to him?
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Dont let him have that baby! Everything will get better with time
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This sounds like ppd and is actually more normal than you would think. I would suggest a change of doctor. Could you possibly try having someone pick the child up so you don’t have to see your ex?
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Children need their mother… I could never turn my back on my child… no matter the situation… you chose to stick with it and have your son and you need to give him the life he deserves as he didn’t ask to be brought into the world… I wouldn’t sign over anything… have someone do the dropping off and picking up for you. I would take your little guy in a heartbeat he deserves the world he needs to feel loved and wanted. And he can feel the negative feelings you have and I’m sure it hurts him to see how much you love your other kids… this really hurts my heart. If his dad treated you bad he’s definitely treating your son bad…
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I sign over parental rights? - Mamas Uncut
Dont walk away, he will wonder why you turned your back on him and not his other siblings. He will resent it. Teenage years are very hard when you have that in your mind.
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