I do not think I could trust again if I was the great guy you left behind. I just might not want you back in my life. I do not know what the great guy you left behind would think. Maybe you should ask him what he thinks.
Youâre asking for opinions from a lot of people. And you are going to get many answers. There is only ONE that you need to ask to get the right answer. ASK YOUR HEART. IT has the answer for YOU not someone else. To thine own self be true!! I wish you the best my sister.
What would your decision be if you took you feelings out of it? We make more bad decisions based off of feelings than right. If you do decide to stay, seek outside help! I bet with leaving the first time it really hurt you and then when you left it really hurt him. Outside help can work with you both to make the right decision for you relationship. Try and remember why you married each other. No can give you the right answer. That you will have to do on your own.
Sit your kids down and explain everything to them (depending on age) then find your own happiness for you and your kids. The old saying you canât go back (in most cases is true) Iâve tried this and for me it just didnât work so I eventually found happiness with my kids blessing. God Bless you and good luck on your decision and possible journey.
I will say this, Iâm an adult whoâs parents got divorced when I was 10 years old and I can tell you that was for the best. Didnât have to listen to the constant arguments and accusations from one parent to the other. I was a happier child after my parents divorced, so weâre my parents.
If youâre not happy and he left you and then you got back together and it still didnât work, you need to say Iâm done and leave, this back and forth isnât good for the kids. Everyone needs to move on. You will be happier and the kids will adjust. Sounds like the ex is a manipulative person and isnât thinking of anyone but himself. Sorry but Iâd be gone.
The children should come first! They didnât ask to be born. Dad & mom are equally responsible for their welfare & happiness. However, sometimes a broken home for children isnât the best, but a broken home youâre trying to hold together is worse.
Get out as soon as possible⊠Children do not want a miserable mother⊠Iâm divorced and it was the hardest thing I ever did in my lifeâŠyou know it broke my heart when my husband left⊠But I am alone now and happier than I ever could have been with him⊠I am near where my kids live but divorced and happyâŠ
Go Back With The Guy That Cares!!!
Of The Kids Are Close They Could Come For A Visit & Go Home With Your Ex
As Long As He Is Good To Them. Not Misusing Them-
Leave Them Where They Aređș
What a weird story.
Sounds like dad has custody of the kids?
Look, for whatever reason, you arenât happy.
Chances of you getting back the guy and life you were enjoying before allowing yourself to be manipulated (and I am betting subconsciously running away from a good thing you were afraid of of staying in) are not good.
First get to a lawyer to go about a custody arrangement where there is a plan if one partner moves out of range. Include cost of travel.
Second get your finances in order have a full time job with benefits, and a place to live that will accommodate all your kids.
Third, get your head in a good place and move for what is right for you and donât be blaming your ex. You did not have a gun to your head.
I think you need be true to yourself life is really short. Making everyone around you more important than you, And I know itâs hard when you have children and your afraid to hurt them. But your the Adult no one can make those decisions for you, they can support you in your choices
Children are happiest with a happy parent. Be happy apart⊠what heâs doing- Itâs called manipulation and it comes with control. Leave that and be happy for you and your kids!
I would leave and be happy. If your kids see your happy they will learn to be happy too. Never stay in a relationship for the kids it affects and it will them. Get out.
DO NOT!! I am a child of a terrible marriage. My father was emotionally and mentally abusive. My mom got back together with him at one point so I could be happy because I missed my dad. Now I absolutely hate him. Because as I got older I realized how horrible of a âmanâ he was. I BEGGED my mom to leave just four years later. DO NOT STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF YOUR KIDS. I get itâs hard to put yourself first when you have kids, but if your situation involves abuse, LEAVE.
Youâve put your kids in a shifty position. Try and make the best of it without hurting them more.
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All you have done is show your kids that their manipulative father gets his way by lying and cheating. You really should have asked the kids how they felt about stuff First. Then, you should have given serious consideration to why you were giving credence to the opinions of someone that didnât care how it affected those very same children when he just abandoned them himself. Why on earth would you dump happiness for a guy you know doesnât care about anything but being the bully that calls the shots.
Shoulda just gone to court, got it a court order that they canât move anywhere outside of x miles from where you live so long as they were minors (my dad did it to my mom so he could actually see us and not spend his whole visitation driving us). Set up set weekdays and weekends, holidays, any other special family days with the courts. Have the split custody, but donât stay with someone that doesnât make you happy. Your kids cna sense it and it will make their lives miserable in the end. Speaking as a kid of parents with an ugly divorce, be happy and your kids can also be happy.
You need nothing but counselling and appropriate guidance. Make sure your children are happyâŠno matter what.
Why canât you make a life with your kids
Donât leave if you are going to keep coming back. Make a decision and stick to it. I think the constant change might be more harmful than the initial separation.
Never said the age of kids. Kind of an important factor.
If your husband wonât leave the home, take the kids and go. Donât leave the kids with him as he will be just as manipulative to them as he was to you
First. You are going to kill me to make me leave my kids for ANYTHING OR ANYONE including myself. 2nd. Your ex husband is using the kids as a weapon DO NOT ALLOW THIS. I did the stay for the kids sake thing and my kids are so damaged. Pull yourself together your kids ALWAYS come 1st before everyone including you. That goes with becoming a mom
um he cant just take ur kids and move without ur permission. i have full custody and it states in the paperwork that i have to have his written permission to move out of town.
Staying together for the kids is a horrible thing to do, for everyone involved.
You need to sit back and evaluate the relationship. You need to figure out this pros and cons. You need to take some time to really figure out what you want. You canât keep going back and forth. It is the worst thing for you to do not only to yourself but to your kids as well. I want to point out things you mentioned. I am not trying to make you feel bad. These are keys points to think about.
1.) He originally left you after your first child and then he came back.
2.) You worker things out got married and had more kids together.
3.) You left because you were not able to reconcile.
4.) You found a man you loved dearly and he accepted your children.
5.) Your ex-husband constantly used your kids as a tool to get you to come back.
6.) You shattered (from what you described) an amazing heart by leaving to go back to make sure your kids were happy.
7.) Your kids were happy when they came to your house.
8.) Your not happy being back with your ex-husband.
You made some choices that are giving you the life of a revolving door. This is a pattern that will cause more emotional and mental trauma not only for you but your kids. It will give you a reputation for future relationships you could possibly have that may be wonderful but you will never know until you make a decision on which path you are going to take in life. You are the one that can make that decision. You can ask us the public for our opinion about what we think you should do or what we think is best but in the end the choice is ultimately made by you. Do what you feel is best for you AND your kids. Think about how being in a toxic relationship is effecting not only you but your kids. If you feel itâs best to find your own place and try to live a happier and healthy life and future then do it BUT DO NOT move back in with him. DO NOT give him the power of manipulation. Get joint custody if that is a reasonable situation BUT ONLY discuss the children during contact nothing more. You take control of your life and your future. Do NOT accept any pressure or guilt trips from him it is not healthy. Your kids will adjust to the routine and arrangements you make and set. But donât confuse them more then they already are. Make their life happy they are only kids for a short time donât allow their childhood to be full of bad memories. They will resent anyone who didnât put them in thought through their decisions.
A ? U shouldâve asked urself in the first place
Go back with the guy you love and loves you the kids will be happy if your happy explain it to them !!
Get the hell out you deserve happiness if your happy your kids will also be happy!
Stay with your husband and kids. Seek God and ask him to bless your family and keep them together.
Ur indecisionâs hurt people
U made ur bed sleep in it
Itâs Not All About You
Happiness is overrated and often fleeting.
Dump the manipulative guy. Kids will be fine as long as you are still in their lives.
Why did you leave without your kids
Heck NO kids should come first!!!
Not No, but hell No!
Yes everyone is entitled to happiness. But the welfare of your children should be your first priority. If you leave then your children must come with you. Then make an arrangement to co-parent with your ex husband. This is the solution.
Get your own place and take care of your children I canât believe you left them for a man you are selfish God gave you these children what you wanted ended when they were born put them above everything and when they are grown and gone you can start a new life
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Your kids will respect you more if you do what will make u happyâŠstaying In a relationship because it Makes your kids happyâŠbut u miserable is wrong âŠyou need to make amends with the other man you devastatedâŠyou kind of put him in the same predicament that you are inâŠyou dumped him to make your kids happy but had no regards for his feelingsâŠexactly what you are putting yourself through by going back to someone to make others happyâŠleaveâŠstraighten out your life and you will find happiness againâŠyour kids will get over it when they see you are happy again
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Leaving him is not the hang upâŠim bot leaving my kids for any manâŠtake the kids full time or move closerâŠwith the new man âŠand sue for ft custodyâŠ
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Stop using the word âIâ so much! âYouâ created this messâŠâ made th childrenâŠthey didnât ask for this crap! Time to grow upâŠfeel so sorry for your kids and men in your life! grow up!
An unhappy mom is not a good mom, a happy mom is always a better mom.
Donât EVER stay in a relationship strictly for the sake of your kids
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Read the chapter of Proverbs it will answer all your questions
Wow wonderful you really need ask Jesus you deserve a Life
Follow ur heart n ur kids will come around t u being happy agn.
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