Among other things I just feel like I’m lost among them, at that I’m just “the white trash”
I don’t know what to do. I’m really confused and hurt. I didn’t even have a chance to be a part of their family before I was shunned for nothing. What do I do? Should I call it quits and leave? Should I stick it out and be the outcast? Forever to sit alone?
I’ve been seeing a guy for the last year. He’s amazing. He’s actually my childhood love. We were best friends growing up and lost touch with each other for about 11 years due to his crazy ex wife (that’s a whole different story) but getting down to it. I feel like an outcast during family gatherings. No one really talks to me or really takes time to get to know me so I just end up sitting alone for hours. My SO will usually try to cheer me up but it always makes things worse….I have no relationship with his sister (someone I thought I could trust) she got in my face a month ago and called me some really disrespectful and degrading things, she was screaming at the top of her lungs in front of my children which traumatized my 3yr old.
14 Likes
I don’t think you should leave over that, personally. Talk to your partner, & see if you can come up with something with him. Is he supportive of you? Does he have your back if something happens? It’s easier having a supportive partner in that situation. Maybe one day soon you guys can all sit down & talk about why they’re acting that way?
You lost touch due to his crazy ex wife?? If he was married you had no bussiness in his life
11 Likes
Don’t go to his family functions. 
8 Likes
Give it time. It’s still new. Stay away from them. Did they like the crazy wife. If so u gotta let them heal to. Just keep ur distance and time will work it out. He should stand by u and not attend all just some.
3 Likes
That is totally up to youits
I mean they probably really like the ex wife she might have said something 
. I wouldn’t get mad at your guy from his family’s disrespectful attitude. I just would decline any time he wants to go visit. Go get a manicure or shop. While he visits them. Why go where you’re not welcome. In a while you’ll see where this is going with “him” not his family.
2 Likes
I would just stop going to family gatherings with them.
3 Likes
Kind of feeling like there is more to the story here…
13 Likes
Compartmentalization is the key to dealing with this for your boyfriend but for you simple dismissal of his family to be with him will cause resentment and wounds that refuse to heal, plot your future with logic over love on this one
1 Like
You’re with your man, not his family, period. Screw how they feel, screw what they think. If it comes down to it and you do get married, the same freaking thing applies! All you can do is try, and if you have and it hasn’t worked and you actually want a relationship with them (weird cause I don’t, my husbands mom is nuts) then they’ll have to come around eventually. You need to know the family you’re marrying into, but you don’t have to have a relationship with them. Ultimately it’s about you and your partner.
2 Likes
I think the one of the biggest factors to consider is how does your boyfriend react to them treating you that way? Does he blow it off or stand up for you? That says a lot in whether things will eventually get better or not.
7 Likes
You and the children are your husbands family.what affects you should affect him the same. If they can’t treat you like family your husband shouldn’t be going around them either and he should tell them why he isnt.this is very sad.
2 Likes
If you two are happy then stay together but dont let them make you feel like an outcast if there are family gatherings you do not have to go. I also have had similar things and i will tell you killing them with kindness feels amazing its hard as hell believe me. But it pays off
1 Like
How long after he left his ex wife did he start dating you? Do you ever make the effort to include yourself or do you just choose to sit by yourself? But also, you do not have to go to family things with him if it makes you uncomfortable. My husband and I have been together for 6 years but I stopped going to his family things about 4 years ago. It’s better for everyone that way 
2 Likes
Why isn’t ur man standing up to his family and putting them in their place? Why does he bring u around to let them put u down? If he knows his family isn’t welcoming to you why would he even bring u to them? Personally I think there’s more to this… how did u come about in his life? U sure they aren’t upset siding with the ex?
5 Likes
I went through the same thing for 20 years. It’s up to your boyfriend to talk to his family & get this stopped. Mine didn’t do that & it hurt.
2 Likes
Need more info, what ammunition did you give the sister to be screaming at the top of her lungs in your face?
5 Likes
I’d walk away to be honest. Usually if the family don’t like you it doesn’t workout. How long ago was his divorce Maybe they’re not ready for change. Maybe there are things they know and you don’t. I wouldn’t deal with walking on egg shells not worth it.
2 Likes
Alitte same here my husband I have now I married when I was way to young, and later on 23 years later met up again and remarried, took Alitte while for some of his kids to accept me , but he still Cayers to his ex wife ex wife for anything when it comes to his kids or anything else . If I say anything then im wrong , we pay for everything and then some … so im starting to think myself about what’s going on
2 Likes
Have you talk to the guy that you’re seeing? He should either have a discussion with his family or not make it necessary for you to have to attend his family events if that’s really how you feel
3 Likes
I’m not going anywhere that I dont feel welcomed or wanted. Let him go to his family and u go visit with yours. I always do a dinner for just my man and our kids for holidays. We visit family as well I just do my dinner a different day or time. I like having time we can relax and have our quality time with just each other.
2 Likes
If you’re happy in your relationship stay. If not then go. If its strictly his family that’s making you feel like this then quit going to family functions and stay away from them. Im sure he will understand especially if he already knows tbe situation.
3 Likes
-
people don’t act like that towards someone for “nothing”. From their perspective, you’ve said or done something. It may not even be a valid reason to be mad at you but they have a reason.
-
The person you are with should be putting his family in check. If he is not then they are clearly still more important to him than you… Or he agrees with why they’re acting this way… Or he’s just chicken shit. Regardless of why, that’s DEFINITELY a conversation that needs to happen.
-
Stop going. They are only going to treat you they way you allow them to treat you.
Wow I could have written this post. I’m the ‘hillbilly baby mama’
I’m gonna outlive the bitch so I’m still here 
i told her 6 years ago that I wasn’t going anywhere and I stayed true to my word.
Dont go anymore, and you will feel better, trust me! Use that time to meditate or take care of you. 
1 Like
If you really love this man I say sit down & talk to him. Have an open heart discussion & let him know that you’d rather not attend their family gatherings for the way they treat you. Let him know you still want to be with him but after what happened & seeing how your 3yr old is after seeing his sister disrespect you it just isn’t worth going. Now it’s up to him to handle his family because he should’ve put a stop to his sister’s behavior the moment she got in your face. Best of luck:two_hearts:
5 Likes
I think you need to have a talk with your boyfriend. It’s his responsibility to demand his family respect you. You come first before them and if they continue to disrespect you and your kids by treating you that way in front of them, then unfortunately it sounds like you guys are better off cutting ties with his family. But that’s a talk you must have with him. He needs to stand up for you and put them in their place.
4 Likes
I’d stay with him but stop going to family gatherings. Let him know and tell him that things haven’t changed and you’re not putting up with it anymore
2 Likes
Don’t go to family party’s I don’t…not worth the drama
1 Like
I’m surprised he let them talk to you that way. Also, do they think you were the reason why him and his ex split? Some families are toxic and think they know it all. They don’t accept the new partner for whatever reason. I honestly don’t think you or your child deserve this type of life. If he doesn’t defend you, then he’s worthless.
Girl take the vehicle
And your children
And go do something
While he’s having family or friends time
That’s what I do
I dont feel welcomed with everyone my husband is involved with like his friends
But I come to realize it’s not me
They are the ones who have a problem with me
So I’ll just go do my own thing
No hard feelings
Just less drama
2 Likes
My question is…where was your man when his sister was screaming in your face. If he didn’t come to your defense then he never will
7 Likes
Your BF should have got into his sisters face and set her straight after she screamed at you. If he didn’t do that than if I were you I would pack my bags.
1 Like
More info, what happened that caused her to do that…why didnt/doesnt he step up be a man???
1 Like
Man I wish we could hear the “crazy ex wife’s” or the sisters side of this. You just know there is waaaaay more to this story.
8 Likes
You’re with the man, not his family. You don’t have to have a relationship with them in order to have one with him.
1 Like
I feel like there’s more to this story. Anyway… just don’t go. They don’t have to like you and you don’t have to go.
Have you talked to your bf about it? Have him ask why they arent making an effort…or if you did something that rubbed them the wrong way. could be one party or both.
It took me at least 5 years to be taken seriously. Probably after my second son. Even when I had my 1st I was still ignored and they would take my son out of my arms without a hello. That’s up to you what your willing to put up with and if it’s worth sticking it out to you. It may gradually change over the years or maybe a lost cause, but I do think it’s important to at least be civil for your boyfriend. No one has to like each other but a mutual respect at least goes a long way. Life is horrible and full of drama when your not on the “same team.”
Seems like he’s an abuser. Telling them untrue things. Especially “crazy ex wife” is a red flag. I’d walk. Even if he isn’t… the fact he allowed his sister to disrespect you in front of your child is a huge red flag. 
I wouldn’t have went back after his sister got in my face. You don’t need to Subject yourself and your kids, to that.
I know how you feel. I can’t really take it out on my SO but I have same issues with his family. And my son being left out. It not his son. But still. I been with him 3 years nothing changes, I only talk to them if they talk to me. I always by myself. We been having issues due to my son being left out, no one seems to get to know him, nothing. He does have ADHD and stuff. But if you love the man, love him not his family. That what I do. I treat my bf kids like I do with my son. I don’t leave them out, nothing. But I say it is what it is. Lol. His family don’t treat my son and I like family!! Never have I guess never will. I been sticking it out for 3 years. There is bunch of times I been wanting to give up. One day I may will. Idk.
Be with him. U don’t need his family.