You have to be your child’s voice. Personally I would have stopped the abusive phone call immediately. If it’s court ordered you record everything. Good luck and please stand up for your baby always.
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Document him saying these things.then lay down rules he’s not to talk to her like that during his phone call or you’ll end the call. End of discussion. You’ll report him for talking to her that way, it’s abusive.
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Make sure you have documentation on these calls and I wouldn’t let her talk to him without being in the room with her and record all conversations regardless. If he does it again I wouldn’t hold my tongue, never allow your child to be bullied or abused in NY form, that’s both. Again, If he does it again I’d disconnect the call. If he calls back I’d let him know that’s not tolerated and until he can stop this form 8f abuse he will get disconnected each and every time and hang up. But monitor every form of contact he has with her.
If he is going to be a ass maybe she should only talk to once a month and at a time you setup.
Verbal abuse-so wrong of him.
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Sounds like you need to lay down the law with him by having a frank conversation with him. Either he treats his daughter with some respect or the one in one conversations will end and you will be in the same room
That is awful, I cannot imagine talking to my child like that.
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I would have a little talk with Daddy. I would tell him you are going to start recording his conversations with your daughter if you hear anymore of him telling her she’s stupid or a dummy or saying nasty things to her. Then you’ll take the recordings to your lawyer for the judge to hear. And tell him he has to talk to her with you able to hear it since he feels the need to be nasty with her. I would also petition the court for supervised visitation. He’ll probably want to start getting her so he can treat her any way he wants without interference from you. Try to make sure that doesn’t happen.
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Document everything. Audio and video proof.
This is abuse and you have to stand up for your little one.
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I would start her on counseling right away…I am sure this has already affected her and a proffesional not any of us will be qualified on how to handle this and all upcoming situations. Run don’t walk… these memories will be with her forever and so will that guilt!
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Oh hell no!!
No one will talk to my kid like that. especially no absent father.
I would talk to him and tell him ‘look you only get to talk to your daughter on the phone and if you’re gonna call her and belittle her and demean her then there will be no more phone calls . You sure as hell don’t do enough to be treating her that way and even if you did you better be respecting my daughter.’ I’m sorry but the people in a child’s life should be encouraging . And she’s six years old what the hell is wrong with him… stand up for your kid girl even against their fathers.   She deserves to have her father in life but not at the expense of her dignity and mental well-being. A girls father should never act like this towards them. It’s unfortunate. 
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Document everything and save all texts messages of him refusing to meet you. Record their FaceTime conversations either by screen record or by another device. If it’s happening every time they talk then take it to court
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Verbal abuse you should of jumped in and tell him to treat her with respect and stop name calling or you’ll hang up. Write this all down and take it to court. Better yet start recording it. I wouldn’t let him talk to her with me present.
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Dad and I would be having a conversation and he would not be putting her down. I would express to him how important it is for him and his daughter to have the best relationship they can being so far apart But I would let him know I would be monitoring the calls and if he was anything but loving I would end the call. 6 years old they just want to be a kid be happy love mom and dad both! He would not talk to her like that.
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Wow he’s a total asshole
Sounds like my dad.
I haven’t spoken to him in 7 years.
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Personally, I would talk to him about how he was talking to her and be clear that talking to her like that won’t be tolerated. Then, I would listen carefully to conversations and if it continues, I would stop contact for a while. He clearly doesn’t care much, because he’s “taking time out of his busy day” like it’s a favor so if he continues that behavior, end it. Explain to your daughter, explain that no one should talk to her like that and you are protecting her. 6 year old are very smart and she will understand.
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My dad always told me that I was stupid I’m almost 70 and it still bothers me. I would talk to him about what he says to her.
Oh hell no. He wouldn’t be talking to her anymore. And if he does record the call
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When my daughter’s father and his gf laughed at my daughter when she said she didn’t feel like they loved her because they never come and see her, I stepped in. When she told them she didn’t want to go for a full 4 days because it’s been almost a year since she’d been there, his gf told her she didn’t have a choice, and I stepped in. I refuse to let them hurt her with their cruel words. It’s been 6 months since that last visit when they told her that I didn’t love her, and they’d keep her away from me, and I absolutely will NOT allow an overnight visit because of this threat. His gf also texted me the same threat they’d told my daughter, so I have proof for court if we end up back there in the future. On the rare occasion that he does call, I do let her talk to them, but if the conversation gets negative, I will stick up for my daughter and be her voice as she’s gotten shut down by both her dad and his gf when she’s tried to use her voice. Bottom line is, you ALWAYS protect your baby! I would start recording these phone calls and keeping them for evidence for court. I’d also look into getting her into counseling. I know counseling has helped my daughter a lot! If these phone calls keep up, and the verbal abuse doesn’t stop, then I’d stop the phone calls. If court wants to know why, show them the recordings.
Tape or video all conversations between them, then tell him to please stop belittling and tearing down his and your child. If he does not see an attorney well versed in child custody/ abuse issues
How are you going to allow anyone to talk to your child like that?
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Dad is a jackass does not deserve to make demands on a 6 yr old
For the love of Christ, stand up to the jackass and defend your child.
If my kids father spoke like that to my kids I’d stop the contact, it’s emotional abuse and will cause long term issues.
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Tell him you will cut him out of her life if the BULLYING continues…reassure her she is not stupid or any of the other things he calls her. DO NOT BAD MOUTH HIM TO HER…just tell her he may not feel good or be happy and that’s why he acts like that.
You should follow your court order.
That emotional abuse definitely should seek to discontinue all of that. Trust me and everyone else she’s not his priority and that’s not how you talk to a child
Sounds like somethin’ an evil b*tch would say, maybe they’ll decide things like that about you in the future.
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Why would a caring mother allow her daughter to be talked to in this manner? If You need to record these conversations and let a “competent counselor’s” opinion because you’re not sure? Start the legalities or advise of your child’s future self-worth!!!
Seek counseling for your daughter for this emotional abuse!! Speak to whoever need to if this is a court order. This is NOT OKAY!!
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I guess we know why he is the EX! Seriously, I wouldn’t allow any more private conversations. I would record everything!! Start printing out any text and saving them in a notebook, so that when you end up in court, they are already saved and printed and no worries if you lose or get a new phone. Good Luck!
Record every phone call
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If you can sit there and allow a person to talk to your daughter like that!!!you need your head checked, my advice is learn to talk for your child she is 6 and you’re allowimg this to happen grrrr
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Holy FFFFFF.
Yes I personally think you should. This needs to be addressed. This is not ok.
stop is he in violation of court order to see her ask the court to appeal it
She is six years old and he talked to her that way?? She’s better off without him he would crush her self esteem.
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I would record and write down the dates you have offered him to visit and meet up he declined plus record when he talking to the child so you can prove to the court he has been emotionally abused by verbal. Plus he hasn’t make any effort to visit or spend time with the child so court will terminate him to see her and contact her. Possible pay more child support he might not like it.
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I wouldn’t allow her to converse with him on her own and I would definitely stop that abuse immediately.
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First of all I would have stopped her speaking to him, as he is a waste of time as a father , then I will give him a piece of my mind nota very ni
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I woulda lost my 
on him!!
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Talk to him plain and simple
Teach her to stand up for herself, teach her that is not ok for any person, adult or otherwise, to speak to her like that and teach her to demand respect and if she’s ignored then she should simply hang up or walk away from the situation. He’ll either learn to show her respect or he’ll take himself out of the equation. The sooner kids learn to stand up for themselves the better they’ll be at it when you’re not there to protect her. At least right now she’s young enough to learn how to stand up for herself and she still has you to stand up for her if he pushes back. You can talk him as well but if you teach her what’s acceptable behavior and what unacceptable it’ll be a great tool for her to have going forward. If he decides he can’t talk to her with the respect she demands then he’ll remove himself or she’ll remove him from her life and she’ll know it wasn’t you pushing him out of her life it was his choice to choose disrespect. Also that will help her from being in a relationship when she’s older that’s unhealthy or abusive because she knows her worth, it’s all about her, her reactions and what and how she deals with people who choose not to respect her, she’ll know when to stand up for herself and walk away.
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Nice talk don’t put your daughter in a position that when she is older she will have a lot of problems just keep her away for some time until he has nice things to say to her daughter 
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I would cut off contact that’s no way to talk to a child. You’re daughter is a good one because my 6yr old would have hung up the phone on him and told me he never wants to talk to him again
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Uncalled for. I say u talk to the father and let him know. Hope your getting Childsupport for her. She is 6 and he sounds like a selfish ass!!!
absolutely no contact–unbelievable treatment by the father of a six year old.
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I would address him and allow him one chance to come correct, and if he can’t then cut contact. Verbal abuse is unacceptable
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That phone call would have been hung up without such as a goodbye.
And he would have been told.he can have contact again when he can show some respect to his child.
How disgusting.
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I’d tell him that from now on if he wants to talk her he can do it without name calling and abusive tactics or you’ll stop the calls. You should have said it the moment he started calling her names.
I don’t allow people to call my kids names. Once he started the guilt trip I’d tell him it’s not her job to make time for him it’s his job to make time for her. If he wants to talk to her he can meet you half way at a park and act like a dad and cancel all his “plans”
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It’s easy to say “no contact” but depending on rights he may have it can become very difficult and sometime costly in court. If he has rights then you need to be able to prove that he is being a bad father. If he does not have custody rights but tries to claim some then you need to be able to prove it is not good for your daughter. If you are able to prove he is not a good father then tell him he has to change his ways to be allowed to talk to her and he should not belittle her in any way.
Start recording him saying these things. Eventually you’ll need to replay them back to him and tell him this is why he cannot talk to her.
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You know the answer to this. Teach your daughter that respect is one of the most important things in life using language your know your daughter can understand. Never offer ever again to have the bio dad spend in person time with his daughter. Call the bio dad and tell him no more unsupervised calls.
If you need help making the decision that needs to be made using language that will let the bio dad know you are serious, get a counsellor. There is a very good reason you and the bio dad are not an item/are not together. You had good instincts once. You need to hang on to those.
I would tell him not to talk to her like that anymore. Then from now on listen to their call and if he continues cut it off.
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Definitely talk to her and explain that it’s not ok for someone to talk to her like that. She shouldn’t think it’s ok when she gets older and in a relationship that her significant other is allowed to talk to her in that way Because she is used to it from her dad
You tell her how he behaved is NOT acceptable and if the next call goes anything like this one, you STEP UP and protect your child. He may be her father but that doesn’t excuse his behavior, especially when she is 4 hrs away.
My daughter’s father lives 6 hrs away and we’ve kept a non court ordered agreement for years now that he is to call her as much as he can (he has changed several jobs with different schedules), remain active, and he takes her for 2 weeks or however long he can over the summer. Helps out when needed with no hesitation. He would never speak to her that way and if he did, I’d jump down his throat just as he would mine if I did the same.
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I would never allow my kids gather to talk to my children that way ever
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Send him information on the effects of verbal abuse, let him know that you will not stand for any abuse handed to your precious daughter. Let him know that you will be monitoring calls to be sure that he is treating her right. Definitely let your daughter know that it’s not ok for anyone to talk to her like that, yes, even daddy.
Well …… how can you hear him talking like that to get and do anything about it ? You should have taken the phone away from her the second you heard him talking to her like that .
You should have stop it immediately.
I will give him a chance but with some restrictions and with supervision, he would have to apologize to her as well ,
And I will be present during the phone conversation…always , and she will talk only if she wants to do it , on her own terms
You are right.Respect others.
Cut off contact. Shes a child good lord thats ridiculous of him. I would also talk to her & explain to her that how she is talked to is not okay & reassure her that those things are not true. If the calls are court ordered i wpuld keep any proof you have of how he talks to her incase he tries to go after you for it.
I certainly would not have bitten my tongue. That’s your baby and you have the right to supervise their conversations or her conversations with anyone for that fact. I would have jumped up and read him the riot act for talking to my daughter like that. I’d tell him if I ever hear or she ever tells me he’s talking like that to her again it will be the last time he ever speaks to her again without you in the room to make sure he acts like her father and a man rather than talking down to a little girl. I would have said all of that right in front of her so she could see you have her back and he is wrong for talking to her like that rather than just sitting there and let him put the poor baby down like that and make her feel terrible about herself. I would have went ballistic on him. What’s the worse thing that could happen, he won’t call again 
. Well if that’s the way he talks to her, I would hope he doesn’t 
He’s clearly a POS I’d absolutely confront him about what he said I mean if he said that while you where around I can imagine what he says behind closed doors! NO child disserves to be verbally abused! You’re her mom grow a backbone and stand up for your daughter!
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You are correct on all levels. He’s a douche!! She can connect with him in the future after he’s had some growing up to do and learn how to treat a lady! His 6 yr daughter should be treated with the most reputable respect out of every female in his life. Should he continue to be have like this I’d refuse he be in contact unless it supervised.
Sorry she’s going through this!!
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What he said to her was NOT OK and I would be saying something to him before he speaks to his daughter again
I would have never allowed anyone to speak to my child in that manner I would cut that conversation off right then and there called him later and told his stupid you know what a jerk he is.
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She’s 6 years old- it’s your responsibility to stand up for her. When he makes that first insult you tell him that is unacceptable behavior and to call back when he can be respectful of his child’s feelings. Then hang up. As for visitation, it’s NOT your responsibility to make sure he sees her or spends time with her.
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a couple issues here…is this court appointed visitation or is Friend of Court involved for child support? In both those cases I would speak ASAP to them about what has been happening. IF you have or can get any UNALTERED proof take it with you or a witness that is nonbiased. Even as her parent he has no right to demean or badger your child at ANY age. I recall [actor Alec Baldwin] being taken to court for leaving trash mouth calls for his daughter. As for the Facetime calls IF you can be there and see/hear what is being said on BOTH sides I would find a way to record it, be sitting in the room to witness it. IF the conversation goes smoothly then you delete and be prepared for the next one. You said he lives 4 hours away, you are willing to meet halfway and he "typically refuses his weekends because he has “plans”. Buzzer (ent)!!! Wrong. His “plans” are on hold when it is time to physically visit with his child. If he desires to "put off visitations then he can deal with the court and have SUPERVISED visitation. You are divorced I assume…he doesn’t control you anymore, stand up and be calmly firm. Don’t lose your cool around ANY court electives, or proceedings. Don’t make your child deal with ADULT issues. Mr. I can do as I please is about to learn what life is.
I’m assuming that you adopted her therefore he has given all his rights away and for him to be calling her anything like those names means he doesn’t need to be in touch with her you are anybody else associated with you and I’m pretty sure of the adoption agency can make sure of that, I guess it doesn’t always pay to let the father or mother ever have any kind of contact with the children that they give up and that is how it used to be, the father or the mother was not even allowed to know where or who or what and we’re never allowed to interfere, you need to put your foot down or up his ass!
I would let him know that from now on you will have him on speaker and their calls will be monitored by you. He needs to work on how he speaks to her. Let him know that you over heard what he has said and you ain’t comfortable with it.
You need to some how record all of this, you never know when you will need it.
I see why he is your ex-he is an ass and not seemingly a very good dad.
You should have called him out on it the moment his vocabulary toward her turned so negative.
It’s better he has plans. I would of took the phone and asked who tf he thought he was talking to and that would be the last time he talks to my daughter that way.
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Don’t put her through that! I NEVER want to hear anyone calling my family names. Please be done with that.
Idk how you kept your cool hun. My hats off to you cause I would have snapped. I would have serious words with him about it and tell him for now the calls will be monitored by you. She can take the call on speaker phone with you but if he steps outta line the contact is done and he can try another day. I would document every call from here on out so if he ever tried to take you to court you could show incidents over the time frame. He has the right to be in her life but not if he’s going to treat her that way and yall don’t have to tolerate it.
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That is despicable and disgusting. You have every right to protect your daughter from verbal and mental abuse, because that’s exactly what he’s doing to her. Abuse. Saying they can’t talk anymore will be hard at first because, well, she really does love him because he’s her dad! But in the long run, she will be better for it and have a healthy example and expectation for how she should be treated by someone who supposedly loves her. I’m speaking from experience. My father told me that he found out my mom was pregnant (they weren’t married) when “it was too late to do anything about it.” So yeah, get her out of there.
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I would most definitely record those conversations and she wouldn’t be able to have them unsupervised. Considering he doesn’t know how to talk to her.
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Next time tape it encase he tries taking her later than block him tell her he is busy later when she is MATURE explain to her
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Girl you are way nicer then me that would never happen in my world I would have told him off and he would not be talking to my child ever again … Ots your job to protect her . He should not be talking to her like that ever
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His behavior is way out of line. He needs to wise up, and realize that just a face time chat a few times a week when he won’t bother to see her in person will not last long. She needs you as her advocate. What he did would be considered psychological abuse, talking to her that way was totally uncalled for. If he wants a relationship with his daughter then he needs to get his act together and be a dad without the bad mouthing, the put downs and ridicule.
He is giving her a complex that can affect the rest of her life. Have a conversation with him in private letting him know it is unacceptable and if he cannot speak to her in an appropriate manner then he will not speak to her at all unless he wants to go to mediation and speak in front of someone else like a counselor. Your child is the most important thing in the world And it is your responsibility to make sure that she knows she is an amazing, beautiful, intelligent human being.
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Hell nope. I would have asked for the phone and asked who the hell he thinks he is Tallinn too, then i would have told him if he talks that again then he is no longer welcome to call.
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I would have grabbed that mf phone so fast and put him in his place. Your daughter does NOT deserve that! You better rip him a new one and listen to EVERY SINGLE PHONE CALL BETWEEN THEM! Gtfoh
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I would not allow him to talk to her.
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He’s teaching her how to be treated. No father would want that for his daughter. I would message him and let him know you heard and you dont appreciate it or nor will you allow it. Conversation will end in the future.
He is a sad excuse for a dad. He won’t make time for her on the weekends and talks down to her on their calls. No calls unless he is courteous and polite as he should be. He is passing his guilt over onto her. Definitely monitor the calls when they do happen. I’m betting he will stop calling once he knows you are listening.
He sounds like the stupid dummy!! That is uncalled for!! That’s his daughter, and he is belittling her!! I would stop the calls and don’t make anything easy for him! He should earn the right to see her or talk to her!! Keep record of things he does or says to her!!
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I would be talking to him in private telling him he needs to apologise to his daughter ! If he cannot apologise or speak to her with respect and love, like she deserves, then don’t bother calling !! Unacceptable!! It would have taken everything in me to not lose my sh*t at him on that call.
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I would not allow anyone to talk to my child like that. Hard stop and I’d never let him talk to her again after that abuse. He can take you to court if he wants to see her IMO
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I would have took the phone and he wouldn’t have and will not speak to her until he can apologize and speak respectfully towards her. You have to give respect to earn it.
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I would set boundaries with him and tell him that he needs to stop speaking to her like that. And going forward I would have her talk to him in your presence. If he starts speaking like that again I would give him warnings. But he should only get one warning.
I have a 13 year old whose dad had no patience and no filter with her at that age and I had no idea it was going on when she would go visit him. She tells me now some of the things he would say and how he would yell at her for petty stupid things. It broke my heart. And she is a little damaged from his behavior. She lacks confidence and that vibrant attitude she used to have.
So please stop it now. Set those boundaries NOW. Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that, especially a child whose psyche is already so impressionable.
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Talk to him in private away from your daughter and let him know that if he speaks to her like that again he won’t be getting any more calls
Id remind him that id hope he wouldnt like to hear another man one day speak to his daughter like that and hang the phone up. Poor kids 6 not 16 and even then its not exusable xx t
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My kids had phone visitation with their father. I supervised all calls (per order). There was a lot of stuff I saw as red flags but he wasn’t straight out abusive like that. I would stop visits. I recorded all my kids “visits” because I knew him & wanted proof if I needed to cut off due to abusive behavior maybe record a call or 2 incase he does file for visits. Don’t let her talk to him alone. Explain to her that dad is wrong & has issues. Tell her it’s not ok for ANYONE to treat her this way & it’s her right to hang up, walk away etc to get away from them. He’s not just lowering her self esteem he’s setting her up for abusive relationships in the future.
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You should have recorded it. Yes stop FaceTime. You don’t hold your tongue for stuff like that.
Protect your child he’s abusive.
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I would’ve taken the phone right there and scolded him. And said he could not talk to her unless he decided to be respectful. That’s insane
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Dad telling his 6 year old daughter she is STUPID. I THINK HE BETTER LOOK AT HIMSELF FIRST
This hurt me to my core. Unfortunately you can’t force a relationship but you can stop an abusive one and that’s what this is. Don’t stop suddenly he will buck just slowly restrict access more and more and eventually he will fade out. Supervise all calls and intervene at first sign of this garbage. Hopefully you have court orders make him follow them to a T but without forcing him to take her! I have been through this it sux!
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Record the phone calls you will need them in court
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Stop 
the calls until she is a little bit older