i’d say the best thing would be to talk to a therapist and go from there !
Personally if he doesn’t make the effort to actually call her then I wouldn’t ask her to engage
If the calls arnt court ordered i would cut them down n they should be supervised
do not have her call him if wanted to talk to her he should call her peroid
If calls are apart of a custody order than you can get in trouble for stopping them. You will need to get a phone recorder and record the phone calls and have your custody plan amended before you stop phone calls. If there is no custody order than stop them. And he can take you to court if he has a problem with it…
If there is no order in place requiring calls I would put a stop to it and talk to him about how inappropriate it is for him to talk to his daughter like that. That is verbal and mental abuse from him and very much unacceptable. Supervise any calls she would like to have with him and shut it down the moment he gets nasty.
He has to know that behaviour like that is not going to be tolerated. He also owes her a very big and heartfelt apology.
When my oldest daughter would talk on the phone 
I monitored When she went for visits, vacation, or just out to eat she would sometimes tell me things… like what they did,went, etc.
One day , while doing laundry, I couldn’t find some of her clothes… socks, outfits that she should’ve brought home with her At first I figured she forgot them & would bring them back next time! However, as time went on more things went missing… 
Imagine my fear hitting overload, astonishment, anger when she finally told me her dad had instructed her to bring extra stuff now and again because eventually he wasn’t going to bring her back!!! 
THAT was the straw that broke the camel’s back… I advised my ex he no longer was allowed to take her anywhere…even for an ice cream 
cone & why!!!
Whenever I had concerns I sometimes talked with my lawyer who said “ Not to worry”, that he had right’s… Well that sure changed when I informed the lawyer of this latest stunt… Quite a while later, when his visitation was reinstated I still had nightmares of her not coming back… Took me a long time to get over it! Btw. I’m the one who used to pack her travel bag….but unbeknownst to me,she was sneaking stuff out as well… She was only 6 or 7 @ the time… Please… trust your gut instincts!
If something seems a bit off to you it probably is!!!
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The simple fact that you sat there and said NOTHING to that ahat for insulting and emotionally abusing your daughter makes you part of the problem. If the father of my son spoke to him that way I would disconnect the call immediately and call his sorry a back and tell him if he speaks to my child like that again he will NEVER speak to him again. I would also be in the room for every call from then on. Get your head out of your a** and be a mom, protect your child.
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He is abusing your kid right in front of you ! Take his ass to court get child support and supervised visits .if he doesn’t show its on him! Protect your child from him !
Agree with above, plus a six year old should not b listening to that just to keep contact with Father. That shouldn’t b her issue. Parent needs to say that isn’t appropriate talk, call back when u can b nice. I’ll b recording the calls and at any point u r belligerent, we’ll say goodbye. I dealt with this and it can really screw u up as u get older without even knowing it.
I would document what you heard. He is narcissistic for making it about him instead of it being about her. I would have a private conversation with him about what he said and how he should be interacting with her. It is not in her best interest to be degraded by him. Again, he’s making it about him not her. If he argues, explain, if you continue to speak to her in this manner, I’m going to supervise the conversations or take a break. You may need to get a court order. Good luck!
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Call him out…you overheard it…
Next time record it. Later present it to the courts and let them choose what to do.
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No no no! What a jerk! No more private calls, and when he starts acting like that, just hang up on him. No one has the right to talk to any child like that.
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What do the rest of you think of a DAD talking to his 6 yr old daughter .
Absolutely i would tell her father that until he knows how to talk to his daughter right he wont be talking to her at all.The way he talks to her is abusive…name calling ect.no way would i allow my daughter to be talked to that way.I dont know how you sat by and listened to this without snatching the phone away
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you better put your foot down b/c she will grow up thinking it’s okay for men to treat her that way & you should know this since you’e not married to him anymore.
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You need to monitor all future calls. I would instantly take the phone at the first name calling. Tell him he may not call her names or verbally abuse her. You may also suggest he take parenting classes to understand developmental stages. You also need to tell him not to guilt her lack of attention to him. That is called projecting since he can’t make one on one time.
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Goodness, cut him off from communicating with him! Why would you subject her to such?
Do not let her talk to him
I would not have bit my tongue. I would have taken the device and said if you are going to talk in that manner then you won’t talk to her again.
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No way. She’s 6 & does not deserve that at all!
After hearing that, all calls should be monitored from here on out & when he calls names use his own “disrespectful” quotes on him & end the call immediately.
Parent or not, if you don’t put an immediate stop to that, your daughter will grow up thinking that’s how a man she loves should treat her 
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Why would you let that man call her names how stupid are you
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Calls supervised by you! Before the next one you TELL HIM HE DOES NOT speak to her that way. If he does, you simply tell her it’s time to get off the phone. Don’t make a big deal infront of her, just okay kiddo time to get off the phone. Absolutely effing not!
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I would have kindly as for the phone and ask her to go play and tell him not to ever speak to her ever again like this
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Put a stop to that right away. Emotional abuse is just as powerful as any abuse.
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Wow. I’d cut him off. This is abuse and she does not need to be around that. Bio dad or not. There’s no excuse for it. Emotional abuse can destroy a child. Please have a serious talk with him before you let him talk to her again. If he can’t be a good dad, he doesn’t need to be around. He obviously doesn’t care that much anyway if he doesn’t want to see her in person.
I would have ended the call at the first insult! Hell no!
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Nope…tell him your boundaries and start recording him and so it’s mandated he gets therapy. You don’t speak to a 6 year old like that. It’s likely he is on drugs or has a disorder and needs drugs for it. What a loser.
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Record and supervise the calls. From the sounds of it, it’s a good thing he makes no effort to see her. Though, you will have to inform him that all calls are being recorded and monitored or they won’t be admissible in court as evidence…not sure about transcribing them as it may fall under written documentation if you where present and heard it yourself, it could be a work around, 
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Write down & record evidence for the court. See if you can get the court to agree to supervised visits at the courthouse only and no phone contact. He won’t show in court or for visitation, so essentially that cuts contact. Do this before he damages your daughter more.
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He is the stupid one and needes to grow up.
The first mistake was standing back and saying nothing. A very clear message you find what he did to her acceptable. You won’t have much to record if you are sitting right beside her during every single call moving forward because if he is idiotic enough to do it infront of you you’ll end the call before he even finishes the sentence. But a recording of this will show your actions are to protect your daughter from verbal abuse . He will get sick of you being involved in the calls and the trash will take itself out .
I would change my number
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Yes u need to come in between. That is not right at all. He needs to understand age difference and get a hold of himself.
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That is NOT acceptable!he is bullying your child!he needs to grow the fuck up.i would have deffinitly got on camera give him a peice of my mind and end the conversation right there. Holy jesus
Warn him. If he does it agAin end the calls
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It’s hard, but your her parent. You know what’s best for your child. Make the best decision for her, as long as that’s what your going it’s right.
Please try to record all communications.
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How old is she & it sounds like he is hurting her by having other things he wants to do instead of seeing her.
Yeah see no! Mama bear would have went into full beast mode! She’s only 6! He needs some serious help!
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While on snap chat you can hear their conversation, I would have to interrupt their conversation when he’s demeaning her. She’s not stupid n let him know , she’s pretty intelligent. The sucker may have been distracting, when he didn’t want to hear about it n talk about him. Keep praising her off the phone n let her know she is somebody special. As she gets older, she will realize what an ass he is n use her own judgement.
That’s heart breaking
Selfish monster. Sit in on the calls. Let him know why.
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I would of hung up as soon as he started being an asshole to her I wouldn’t of bit my tongue I would of screamed at him
That is absolutely revolting, speaking to anyone like that let alone his 6 year daughter. How much damage he’s doing modelling that that’s what love is, it’s ok because they’re family, … I could go on 
Poor wee dot! Id address the issue, ensure the calls are on speaker and start keeping a diary to go through the next steps if needed, because at the end of the day if your partner was calling you a dummy, expecting respect without showing respect, putting you down, yelling at you, calling you stupid and yelling at you it’s abuse. It’s the same 
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Record it and seek legal action if you need to!! That father needs to be put in his place and not talk to her like that!! Poor baby!! I’ll be damn if my ex talked to our daughter that way. Kuddos to you mama for trying to do the right thing!! Love her and tell her positive things for sure. He should be ashamed!! You need to record all communications including with him. Get your proof and fire in the hole
Teach her to set boundaries and let her know you will be right there to help her enforce them. Tell her she doesn’t deserve to be called those things, especially from her dad, and let her know you support her hanging up if she wants to, or even that you’d hang up for her if she’s worried about it
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Tell her it’s not okay to be demeaned. Say same to him in her presence. She has no obligation to have a relationship with anyone like that. Professional help for her?
What man idiot he is
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I’d teach her some smart ass thing to say when someone says something like that to her, and I’d also sit her down and tell her the right and wrong way for people to speak to her, what to accept. And then I’d also talk to her about how she feels about dad, leave it to her.
You should’ve said something from the jump the moment he said anything like that to her. That’s disgusting behavior from him regardless of what age she is. If you wouldn’t want her boyfriend to say those things to her definitely do NOT let her own father say that shit to her.
For whatever reason you chose not to be in a relationship with her biological father, I assume it was to protect yourself and your child from something you feel is not right right with his behavior. I would make yourself visible during the FaceTime calls between the two and text him beforehand to let him know you will be watching his behavior and if at any time you feel your daughter is being disrespected or mistreated you will end the call. I would also record the facetime so you have evidence of the abuse in case you choose to completely eliminate him from interacting with your daughter for those reasons. Let him know it’s a privilege for him to interact with his daughter. A privilege that he obviously does not value and it can be removed. Who knows how he would mistreat her in person when you are not around to witness.
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Yes stop his communication. He’s obviously not worried about having a consistent and stable relationship. So save her the heartbreaks and pain. There are step daddies out there that will treat her better and raise her better then what he is giving her.
Talk to him. Tell him it’s unacceptable.
Tell him calls will be recorded and if his attitude towards her continues, he will not be permitted to face time her. Explain to her that his behavior is no reflection upon her and it’s not okay to be talked to like that, even by a parent
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you need to have a serious talk with him. tell him that this is not acceptable and if it continues then he won’t be allowed to speak with her until he can grow up. that’s ridiculous
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since she is 6 all face time and phone calls would be monitored now that you know this is happening. let your attorney know what is happening so that if you need to stop all interaction there is a timeline and evidence of his treatment of her. I would NEVER allow him to have a weekend away from me with her no matter what
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Wow, Not sure where to begin. I’ll start with, talk to your attorney about this situation, and your concerns. Her Dad has not seen her in person, because he has “plans”. Yet, he tells his daughter that all of her attention should be on him during there facetime chats. He won’t alter his "plans to see his six year old daughter though. Please talk to your attorney asap.
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I would let him know that although you respect his daddy time with his daughter that because of his continued ill-responsible behavior and derogatory and insulting comments, his FaceTime visit will be under supervision . If you don’t allow his some sort of visitation and he takes you to court, you can at least have it documented to why.
First of all next time he calls her you need to record the conversation so you have proof of how he talks to her. That way when you decide to cut him out, you have back up if he takes you to court.
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You may run into legal issues by denying him contact with his child.
Maybe try recording the conversations and talking them to the court to ask that they restrict his contact to “supervised” so that there is someone neutral is intervening.
I would definitely seek counseling for your daughter as well so that someone other than you is telling her that her dad’s behavior is not ok.
Good luck mama.
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First off, I am so sorry your daughter’s father treats her this way. You are absolutely right for taking up for her and knowing she deserves way better. I agree with everyone here saying to record the conversation and get your evidence! Just for precaution! And her visits and conversations with him should definitely be monitored. Your outlook on this situation is 100% valid. You know what’s best for your daughter, and his behavior is not acceptable. Keep protecting your baby, mama!!
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you should NOT make that child talk to her so-called dad if she doesn’t want to. he maybe her sperm donor but he’s certainly no dad.
Jeez, he sounds like a real Alec Baldwin… Record their conversations. He’s a psychopath… Demeaning a six-year-old because he has no one else to control and degrade. I hope you deny any visitation
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I wouldn’t talk to him or give him any new rules until you talk to your attorney. Things you say might make things worse, or things he can use on you. He might be recording you, be careful what you say always. Record him if you want but be sure your daughter doesn’t know, don’t tell her everything going on, she’s young, her understanding things can be difficult on her. Notes and dates of things happening can help too.
NO ONE has the right to talk to a child that way…NO ONE!!! Let him clearly know that before he talks to your daughter again he better be mindful of how he speaks to her or the calls will come to an end.
If there is a child support/visitation order with the courts, check with them before completely stopping calls altogether. But please make sure your daughter knows that NO ONE, including the Bio Father should EVER speak to her that way.
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Supervised and on a set schedule and you say something to anyone that talks to your kid like that from this point forward. He doesn’t get a pass for being who he is to her. If nothing that makes it even worse.
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First off I would definitely tell him that Is not acceptable to talk to her like that and tell him no contact until he treats her better
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You need to have a chat with dad about how he speaks to child and a chat with child about how that’s not acceptable to be treated and spoken down to like that
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thats verbal abuse, anyone who talks to a child that way should be cut off. parent or not… should have recorded it so u have proof for a judge, cuz he will raise a stink when cut off, guaranteed.
Wow. That’s unhealthy for your daughter. He’s being abusive to her. Not ok. She’s going to allow male figures in her life to treat her that way if you don’t step in and show her that’s unacceptable. And her “father” sounds like a selfish prick
this is unacceptable; she is 6 ( just a baby), although seems carefree those words will stay with her …please dont allow it…its your job to protect your child from anyone causing her harm including her father… contact lawyer stat and ask for 3rd party chaperoned facetime/visits only. Someone above suggested to record these interactions - a great idea.
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Limit them to 1 time a week. sighting it interrupts her home work.
Do Not Let Him talk to her like that. Limit to only when she feels like face-timing him and if she doesn’t want to don’t make her.
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You are going to keep a journal with dates and times on everything. You are also going to get an app that will time stamp and will even stamp the location while recording and record their conversations. Next you will speak with a lawyer and a therapist for her.
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Omg can’t believe you let him speak to you six year old that way without intervening! He was verbally abusing her and all you did was sit and bite your tongue! Stop all contact and speak to the dad.
You should monitor these calls,tell him to call “When he feels better and can talk to her like a normal adult”I would make calls short and sweet,when and if he calls he could instigate the call
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Feel sorry for the poor baby
He’s an abusive a/h… stop all contact with him to her and get a darn good lawyer.
When u heard him say the first abusive word u should’ve started recording!
I agree with the people who said to record the conversation. He is a narcissist and a bully, meaning a man who is incapable of being a good father. Tape several conversations and take it to your attorney. If that fails, confront him
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Let him ask to see her. If he wants to then he will contact you.