I’m asking for advice. Ive been with my boyfriend off and on for over 10 years. For the last 6 almost 7 years I’ve been faithful but I feel truly unhappy. He isn’t affectionate with me enough and we don’t have sex at all. I’m thinking about leaving but my son loves him. (Not his biological dad but has been there for my son.) Idk what to do. I’m scared a little to take a leap and try again in a new relationship because before when I did that the person was super controlling and got me knocked up when I didn’t want to be. Hoping it would keep me with him. It didn’t. He’s a dead beat who doesn’t even care about my son at all. Should I stay or should I try to take a chance with someone else?
62 Likes
I mean 6 or 7 years is a long time to be unhappy. I’d say leave. Life is way too short
5 Likes
Sounds like you should talk to him first. Then make a decision.
2 Likes
You only get one life. Don’t waist time being unhappy .
2 Likes
I’d sit him down, express how you feel and if he can’t make the effort to fix it then I’d leave…
1 Like
Why jump into another relationship? That’s unhealthy, talk to him first. The problem will not be solved by jumping into something new.
17 Likes
Focus on your life and son. Don’t go looking for a new relationship. Learn to be ok being alone. Soul search. You and your son will be happier. Than when the time is right you’ll find a real relationship and love
19 Likes
If you can stand the thought of leaving and being with someone else then he is not your person.
3 Likes
F u have to question it,get out already…U obviously aren’t happy…Sounds like u just need a break all together…Alone.
2 Likes
I would get on birth control before jumping into relationships which can potentially lead into another child without anything serious…… tell your partner how you feel but start working on yourself working out getting a new Hobby go to new places like for walks new activities what will expose you to different people you can’t depend on social media for connections it’s all fake out there
5 Likes
The worst thing u can do is base an entire population of men on one man. Or even 7 men. Gotta kiss a few frogs sometimes before one turns into a prince.
3 Likes
I see so many posts by women about the man not being affectionate, it happens when you get older in general an when you been in a relationship that long that happens to, could be both taking a toll on him. Why not try an talk to him about it before abandoning ship
6 Likes
Your seriously asking if you should stay with him bc you don’t feel comfortable getting into a new relationship… honestly I feel sorry for this guy. You’ve already made the choice and your asking for justification. If your not happy leave.
7 Likes
Sounds like it’s time for some “You Time❤️” No relations… not this one not a new one. You & your son, that’s the relationship you should focus on . You have plenty of time for “love” later! Explain with as much Grace as possible to your son that sometimes in life we need space and change, He can still love this man as his dad but you do not not anymore and it’s better for the two of you to part ways. If he’s good to your son then don’t discourage their relationship. He may resent you for that later on. NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THEN YOU DESERVE.
If your unhappy eventually It will leak out onto your son (as far as him seeing the lack of love & trust with your current)
2 Likes
If your wanting to leave for someone else that’s just confusing your son seems how he’s been in his life like a father. It’s not only about you it’s about your child to if your not happy leave and stay single
4 Likes
Why someone else? Be single. Learn about yourself. Explore. Go to therapy. Look into self growth.
10 Likes
If you’re going to take a chance on anyone else, make it YOURSELF!!! Make it your son! Don’t make it so you’re available for another man. You mentioned a cycle. Want to know how to break it? Heal yourself. LOVE yourself. Decide what you will and won’t deal with and stick to it. Itll become second nature because when you treat yourself well, demanding that others do the same becomes second nature.
10 Likes
Life is too short, think of the example your setting for your son you deserve to be happy, get out. Don’t look for love raise your son. Love will find you.
2 Likes
I always told my daughter that she needs to know how to be whole without a man in her life before she can become whole as a couple. She didn’t heed my advice but as a father, I tried.
12 Likes
10 years is a long time and it sounds like your just staying now because it’s familiar. You should leave and find your happiness. Should get on birth control if your not already so past don’t repeat
3 Likes
You’re young…focus on your son. You don’t HAVE to have someone else. Wait for the right one. Good luck to you!
3 Likes
Don’t jump one ship to go to another. Figure out yourself and what you really want. If you’re unhappy then take control and do something. Try dating your boyfriend again, get dressed up out that spark back in the relationship. If there is more to your unhappiness then be in your own for awhile enjoy yourself and your freedom. Don’t go jumping in with another guy out of the gate.
5 Likes
Dump the guy and take some time for you and your son.
2 Likes
You should leave and not be thinking about jumping into it with someone else. Take some damn time.
Only leave for YOU. Don’t think about the next relationship. Take some you time.
2 Likes
You sound like you want to throw out 10 years because you want a honeymoon period to last forever.
You’ll never be happy if you don’t work together with your partner.
But don’t go searching for a new person to throw into your child’s life, just to leave that one later, too, because he doesn’t treat you the way he did in the beginning.
The grass is greener when you water it.
9 Likes
Try relationship counseling first!
1 Like
How about leave and work on yourself another person isn’t the answer…
15 Likes
Toss him like a javelin!
So the previous guy you were with got you “knocked up when you didn’t want to be”? Did you not know about birth control?
8 Likes
Listen to your heart and do what’s best for you and your Son it will be hard on your Son but explain to him that you are not Happy and he can see your boyfriend .
2 Likes
You deserve to be happy
Are you afraid to be on your own for a while to get your life straighter out or do you have some one new waiting I think you need to be on your own for a bit.
2 Likes
Well if you break up you should take some time for yourself first jumping from the frying pan straight into the fire isn’t going to help you. Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t make you happy but also don’t go looking for the next right away take some time 
5 Likes
How about focus on yourself and your kid …if he ain’t making you happy then let the relationship go
2 Likes
Honey, anything anyone ever deserves is to be happy! Don’t settle, love yourself and show your son what a real, healthy, happy relationship is 
just because you’re not with him doesn’t mean he can’t still love you son… I think it’s okay to move on
You should take a chance on you and learn to be happy by yourself before you bring that to the table with someone new.
3 Likes
One of my fave quotes “there are many mediocre things in life, love shouldn’t be one of them”
Dating is hard, but being happy and fulfilled with your partner is important, also to be able to be happy with you and love yourself.
To be able to show your son what a healthy relationship looks like and to have that talk with him that even if someone is a good person, sometimes people have differences and grow out of love.
2 Likes
If you’re not happy why stay complacent? He can still be there for the child while you seek happiness for yourself.
2 Likes
The grass is not greener on the other side. It is greener where you water it.
7 Likes
I think you need to be by yourself, you cant base your life on how someone else is going to make you happy.
All means, leave your unhappy relationship, but don’t straight into another, if I was you I’d try stand on my own two feet for awhile, lots of self care, look after myself etc…
You’re only setting yourself up for more hurt xx
9 Likes
Oooor, you could just be single and focus on your son and yourself. You don’t need to be with a man, or woman, to be happy. No one can make you happy but YOU!
7 Likes
Life is to short to be unhappy !! I took the chance , found love like I’ve never had before and honestly it was the best decision I had ever made
1 Like
The short answer is YES, leave. But…
Honey, please find a good therapist who can really spend the time to know you inside and out. You need advice from someone who knows you, not a bunch of strangers.
And you do have some things you need to work through before you are ready to be a whole healthy partner for anybody.
4 Likes
You need to tell him first about all these feelings and be honest that you don’t want to continue this relationship before starting to even think about trying with a new person. Give the man some respect. What happen to treat others the way YOU want to be treated.
2 Likes
Read the first two sentences. You’re unhappy and its on and off again. Whats that doing to your mental health and self esteem. Its time to move on. Could this person still be in his life. Just cause it doesnt work out as long as they are a safe person then he could still be involved.
2 Likes
If your not happy leave,
It’s simple his not going to change.
Your son will be fine.
the fact that you’ve been on and off for ten years should tell you that you shouldn’t be together. it’s clearly not stable. you deserve happiness too. you deserve a great sex life. be single, have sex and have fun. just don’t get your child mixed up in that.
If your going to leave your BF, leave him for yourself and learn to be alone for a while. Clear your head and then find someone!
6 Likes
If you’re unhappy how about trying life with just you and your son. You don’t have to have a man to be happy. I understand it gets lonely but I think I’d rather be a little bit lonely than controlled and unhappy. Good luck.
5 Likes
Sounds like you need to be by yourself you’re not think about your son at all, what if it doesn’t work out with the next? What then? Is your son going to start counting his “new” dads ??? Seems like the reason you got pregnant the first time around was because you were looking for someone, once you can be at peace and love your own self then you’ll be able to find someone that loves and appreciates you. No one’s going to love you if you don’t love yourself first. Take time, further your education, get a new hobby, work for that job you’ve always dreamed of, travel, and most important spend time with your son
5 Likes
Why not leave and put yourself first for a while before trying with someone else.
1 Like
How about you be single and worry about you and your son?
3 Likes
So we’re you unfaithful for the first 3/4 years? Have you talked to the man you spent 10 years your life with and told him how you feel?
Heal yourself! You are already ready to consider other relationships. Work on healing yourself beforr starting another. And def get outta this one. You don’t just continue dating someone because your kid likes them. If thats the case… y’all can have playdates after you are broken up
1 Like
If your NOT happy then Leave but also don’t go looking to jump in to a relationship have some you time and be on your own for a while x
1 Like
Where is the communication, though? If you cannot communicate and be open about your feelings in whatever relationship you have, then you should be alone.
4 Likes
Wait…so you were unfaithful the first 3 to 4 years? Also, why are you already talking about finding a new guy when you are still in this relationship? Another person won’t make you happy, you are the one that should make you happy. If you couldn’t even be faithful on the beginning of this relationship maybe that has something to do with how things are now. I suggest leave this relationship and be alone and focus on your child.
2 Likes
I don’t understand why some women act like it something wrong with being by themselves! Staying n a relationship with someone when u are clearly not happy just bc your kid liked the guy is not good. Your kid will get over him. Just let it be your kid n u for a while. Plus let the man find u!
2 Likes
Try being single. Take the leap and get to know yourself. Create distance between love interests and allow yourself to meet your own potential.
8 Likes
You’re too worried about the next relationship. How about focusing on raising your child instead of looking for the next guy? Too many hyper-dependent people in this world. Learn to find happiness for yourself and your child before being so worried about another relationship. 
17 Likes
Have you told him how you feel? Maybe he is feeling the same way about you! Communicate before you make your decision!
2 Likes
How are you mentally? Your first thought is leave and get with someone else?!? Sheesh…I’d say atleast work on it and try or atleast weigh out the options. You could leave a decent relationship over something as stupid as sex and then end up with a terrible human that ruins your life and barely cares about you. The grass is not always greener sis
I think you need to focus on you and your child and stop worrying about being in a relationship
5 Likes
I would look back at what you said when you said your boyfriend doesn’t care about your son. That alone should be enough for you. I would never allow any man around my children if they didn’t care about them. But I think you should leave. If you are truly unhappy, leave. Be by yourself for awhile and just focus on you and your son. That will benefit you more than you think. But think about your son as well. It’s very unhealthy to have men bouncing in and out of his life. He needs a good steady role model. You also need a steady partner who can give you the love and time you want and need along with your son.
You need to take a step back and concentrate on you and your child. You don’t need a man to make your life complete. Good luck.
3 Likes
How bout taking a chance to be alone for a bit. It’s not healthy or fair for anyone involved to jump into something new right away. You need to find happiness alone then you can find someone who adds to your happiness.
4 Likes
Men suck. Get a puppy.
Get a side piece. Just kidding but why stay so long if you’re not happy?
How about instead of starting with another, you take time for yourself and child. You don’t need a man in your life to make yourself happy. If you do, then you don’t have self respect. You need to make yourself happy and not depend on someone else .
5 Likes
Have you sat down together and talked about your sex life with him.,? there is alot of help these days
You need to be single
7 Likes
Maybe focus on you and your child, making yourself happy, if you don’t love yourself you’ll never be happy and content with a relationship & having a man in your life won’t make that happen.
3 Likes
I think you need therapy bc you are clearly afraid to be alone.
Normally I suggest actually talking to him to fix things but you seem ready to be done. So, go.
But don’t rush. And for the love of all things holy, don’t involve your child. It’s not healthy for him.
2 Likes
I don’t think you need therapy it’s normal to be scared to leave a long relationship that’s a long time with someone but if he’s not making you happy try to explain to him what y’all are lacking and if he doesn’t change be alone for a while find yourself again and love yourself it took me awhile to do the same thing and then I met the right person ! The only way to get over being scared to be alone is to be alone ! 
1 Like
Leave if your unhappy don’t cheat! You need to worry about you and your kid. Not a new man!
2 Likes
Some ppl are just not as affectionate as others… he’s been taking care of your son, your son loves him but your already thinking about the next guy? Yep… let this one go so he can go live his life in peace and you can find out the grass isn’t always greener.
3 Likes
Question is are you happy and is this how you want to live the rest of your life?
What has he said? I’m sure you’ve talked to him about this nonsense.
I was the one who wrote this post. I’m okay with not being anonymous. I wanted to thank everyone for the advice and I agree that I shouldn’t rush into another relationship. I do need to learn to love myself which im working on. I am going to therapy. I do struggle from severe depression and ptsd. I ended up going thru a really bad withdrawl from medication ( didn’t realize I needed to take it daily that’s a whole different story) that had lasted 4 months. It started at the end of October which caused my depression to be even worse. I was doing okay before the withdrawl. I felt like ive lost who i was and now im trying to find myself again. I’m taking my medication daily and working on feeling happy. I know it takes time. It’s hard for me to love myself because I’m so hard on myself. I also have low self esteem from my childhood. ( reason I have ptsd is my childhood.) Also yes I’ve talked to him many times about this. It is not a one time talk. I’ve told him how I felt many times and told him I felt unhappy and wanted him to be more affectionate and he never changes. Yes I wasn’t faithful at first but I was young 18 years old. I sowed my oats a lil. We all do. I left him to try to be with someone else (my son’s father) who poked holes in the condoms to get me pregnant. Yes I wasn’t on birth control but I just moved with him and wasn’t on it before. He knew I wasn’t ready but tried to keep me by doing that. Yes I did have my son and I love him to death. I try my best with him every single day and try to have home be his safe place. ( my home wasn’t safe when I was growing up.) I feel that’s why I’m so hard on myself. It’s not easy. I do appreciate the advice and I agree that I shouldn’t rush into a different relationship. Also I know my son loves him and I wouldn’t keep my son away from him. I believe the relationships you make with others are important so as long as he was okay with continuing to spend time with my son I would allow it.
6 Likes
Another example of why men should stay away from woman with children from previous relationships.
4 Likes
Why not talk to him about the issue, and work on it together.?
1 Like
Be single. You seem lost in life and restless because of it. Focus on you and your son. Build YOURSELF up and then one day someone will come along and it’ll all feel natural.
1 Like
How do you know another relationship will be any better. The honey moon phase won’t last in any relationship. You need to work on you and not worry about a relationship if you chose to leave, why would you?
1 Like
Just be alone for awhile. You should definitely leave a loveless relationship, but not for another one… for YOU. Be alone, spend time with your child, learn yourself for awhile. It doesn’t have to be forever but it will help your confidence and your self worth. I refused to even go on a date with anyone from the time my son was born until he was 3. It was a personal choice but my favorite one looking back!
1 Like
You would leave a man that loves your son…before even getting counseling??? Nuts!
1 Like
You can’t stay being unhappy just because of kids. But don’t go rush into a new relationship. If needed, leave and work on healing you and your heart. Don’t go looking for love, when you love yourself more someone who can match that love will come around.
I left my ex of 11 years because we were just dealing with each other and I was out of love with him. We have 2 kids together just weren’t happy together and it showed.
2 Likes
Never stay with someone for a child’s happiness. They would rather have two happy parents apart then two miserable parents together. Trust me they know.
Just move on.
1 Like
If you still love him and you want things to work I would discuss this with him before just leaving. Maybe couples therapy? The physical part in a relationship can be very important for some people so I get why you would be unhappy like this but maybe he doesn’t realize it, maybe he’s going through some stuff that your unaware of there could be many reasons. If it’s always been like this and he doesn’t care and shows no interest in you then that’s a different story.
It’s like what I would say to a couple who’s kid is both bio to the parents, you can’t just stay for the kids. The kids will feel it and see it. You don’t want them growing up viewing a non loving relationship.
The wrong man is keeping you from the right one. Never stay unhappy for the kids. Kids grow up then you’ll have missed opportunities
4 Likes
Did you try being more aggressive in the bedroom. Victorias not so secret def make a man stand up and salute. 
1 Like
Don’t stay in something that you aren’t happy in, your kid will see that and if your kid is the reason you stay he will eventually feel responsible for your unhappiness.
1 Like
Why have U wasted 10 years and put your son thru a life that he has to give up… because your expectations are not what they once were. ! ! !
2 Likes
Nobody can " get you knocked up"! If you aren’t on birth control and having sex, you got yourself knocked up. Plus your already thinking about a new relationship while your in a relationship.
Forgive me but you said you were faithful for the last six maybe seven years are you implying that you weren’t faithful in the beginning…? And if so did you think that maybe that had a huge effect on him?
4 Likes
You need some you and child time…you don’t need to be attached and living with anyone to be a Mother!!
10 Likes
Paddle you own canoe. It is not bad to go it alone as a single mother. 
7 Likes
What you need to pursue is your happiness. Just because you’ve been with someone a certain amount of time, doesn’t mean that you need to stay with them. Leave. Find happiness. That happiness may be just you and your son. You may meet another man and he might be the wrong man. There might be two or three more wrong men. Don’t settle. Keep making changes and taking chances until you find your happiness.
6 Likes
Leave. If you’re not happy, leave. Your child would be fine
But take time for yourself. Find happiness in yourself first. Stay single until you find someone that gives you 100% solid happiness and comfort
6 Likes