Should I take away soccer since my son isn't doing well in school?

I wouldn’t take away anything that helps him. Soccer will help him. I would consider writing to the school and have a school psychologist evaluate him.

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I’d have him tested for learning difficulties … some are easily masked until the reach a certain age and then more often then not are missed due to behavioural issues that happen when I child’s educational needs are being meet … and wouldn’t take away things he enjoys . Has can be very frustrating when everyone around you seems to learn something with easy and you just got get it …can be q very isolating and lonely place and more so has most dint no how to express it .has its often put down to early distracted . Lacks motivation and is disruptive! … doesn’t concentrate. All which very often specially combined point to some sort of learning difficulty *

Have broad spectrum testing done. ADD and ADHD are not the only diagnoses out there. It could be a learning disorder or cognitive issues… Don’t immediately jump to punishment. There may be an issue beyond an 8 year olds control that is causing problems.

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I went through this with my son and I took sports away. Sports are a luxury to kids. If they can’t do their schoolwork, chores, and behave they don’t need to be rewarded with sports. Sports that are paid with by a hard working parent. In school they have to have good grades and good behavior to play, if they don’t they get suspended from games or kicked off the team. My son is ADHD and ODD. He’s now almost 17 and has struggled.

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I personally think sports is a great motivator to get good grades because if you want to play then you have to have passing grades.

I would keep soccer. But remove tv, tablets all that stuff.

I alway might try some kind of reward system. Like 30mins of reading and once done then can get 15 mins to play video game or watch tv. ( this one the goal is to get the child to read more)
Or try do all homework before dinner can watch favorite show after dinner.

Or do all your chores without being asked for one week and get to pick a family activity to do together.

Hope some of these help. Good luck!

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It’s hard as a parent with school year as it is … but I’d let him stay with it as it is a break from him and take away phone and electronic devices

Maybe his teacher and him are having difficulties in a subject. In my experience, I needed the teacher to explain it a different way for me to understand how to do it. My 11 yr old is the same way.

I wouldnt just take the sport away…I mean at home…ya can have like an hour or whatever time u can make to go outside and have like each day a different subject hes not doing good in and put it in with his sport. Worth a try…hes doing what he loves along with studying!
I believe this year…theres alot of kids struggling with school (including mine) either in person or at home schooling with the covid. Just have to find the subjects hes having troubles with and work with him at home. Study more and try and make it fun

In high school (big age difference I know) I started doing poorly in class and on my assignments and struggled to have energy to keep up with my chores. I was on dance team at school and got dropped because I had just one class that I, no matter how hard I tried, couldn’t get my grade up to the high enough % it devastated me so bad I literally just quit trying to keep up in any of my classes because dance was my extra curricular, my sport, my hobby and it gave me a healthy way to release energy and emotions. Sports are like that for a lot of youth no matter the age especially if they have friends in it with them.

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Wtf is wrong with y’all? He is 8. It is not his responsibility, it’s yours. Also with all the stress from this past year he needs to have fun. Take him to a psychologist. This pandemic has done a number on a lot of kids.

Has he been out of school a lot since the Pandemic started?

I’d never take sports away from my child as punishment game systems cell phone things like that if he’s acting up in school take some PTO time go sit in his class with him show him you be disrespectful and not listen and cut up in school we will be with you til you do act right.

Is he being bullied at school ?..seems like he’s not a happy child, all the best hon…:gift_heart:

sports help the mind and brain develop and helps with school work.

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No schools been rough this year for everyone

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Yep… You’re taking it too far.

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Do you help him with his homework? Do you do your house hold chores after running around for over an hour? I’m not saying to let him slack on his chores but you are his mother, helping him with what he needs help with isn’t enabling. It’s being a good parent.

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Sports are a healthy outlet, so my vote is no. I’ll assume his behavior is in line when engaged with his coach and teammates or he wouldn’t be welcomed there. So, find another way to discipline him more effectively.

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Take him to see someone. Obviously something is conflicting him. Child do and can have problems, like adults… Though some may seem insignificant to us as adults, they’re still very valid to children. I wouldn’t take soccer away, it could be the only healthy outlet he has left to turn to. Good luck💛

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Someone of us don’t know where to apply the 1900 buganda agreement :joy::joy::joy:

Whatever you do, don’t stop him from playing soccer.

Get him to a phycologist for an evaluation. There may be a reason he acts how he does. Taking away something he enjoys isn’t going to help. It’s a release. How would you feel if the only thing you loved was taken? If you can’t enjoy life would you “behave”?

If he isnt doing well in classes my child would lose sport for that season. N told keep grades up n next sport season he can play

I might get hate for this but… Sports are important but I’m kinda on the fence about this one. In my house school and chores are the first priorities. If your child is struggling that is one thing but if your child is being defiant that’s completely different. Not listening and destructive behavior are not okay, but they can have underlying causes. My best advice is to figure out what is causing that, maybe talk to his doctor. ADHD can be a big factor in cases like these. HOWEVER, that is not an excuse. I wouldn’t allow my child to do sports if they weren’t actively trying to do their school work, after all in high school you get dropped for not succeeding in your schoolwork. That being said, I would still make sure he gets an appropriate amount of physical activity and gets to spend time outside, (and make sure you’re actively participating in these activities with him) especially if something like ADHD would be a factor in his behavior.

Be a parent not a friend

No, physical activities are just as important as academic ones

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Put him back in soccer. Hire a tutor. One of the biggest failures of education is the idea that all children learn alike. Have your son evaluated for a learning disability. Dyslexia can make it very hard for kids to learn. Know someone who cannot learn by reading, she literally has to hear it to get it. So start there, and try some alternate learning methods to see if he gets it better.

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Eh…
My son is 7 almost 8. We word things differently…he has to “earn” the privilege rather than us taking it away.

He wanted to do soccer this past fall. I wanted to let him but I wanted to make sure that he would 100% stick with it and that nothing else would “suffer”
So the deal was he had two weeks. He needed to do his chores, have a good attitude (particularly when things didn’t go his way), do his nightly reading, follow nightly routine (bathing getting into bed on time), and get up in the mornings without a fight.
Even with prompts and reminders it was still an issue. So he did not get to do soccer.

While physical activities are important…weeknight practices cut into a lot of time. So if your child is struggling to do his homework of a night already this increases the struggle because it decreases the time available.

If it was me, I would set a clear expectation for him to earn getting to do soccer and clear expectations for him to continue. Rather than simply taking it away. It’s an important lesson about making good choices and earning privileges.

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It depends if he’s actually trying or if he’s actually struggling. In my opinion I would find something else to take away because that’s a healthy outlet.

Is he a slow learner and needs help with school work? I would check on that, contact his teacher about how he does in class. Being in sports is a great outlet and teaches rules, discipline and how to win and how to lose, how to get along with others, etc.

Your doing the right thing and if he doesn’t Improve it jsut means soccer wasn’t that important to him we told our son if he ate his veges he could play any sport he wanted but he needed to eat veges first to have the energy yeah he still doesn’t eat them so sport can’t be that important

Questions like this are so vague. We don’t know if the parents are actually helping the child. So the problem could start with the parent and not the child. How’s the child’s home life? How is the child acting in school? Is there structure? So many unknowns to give advice.

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Do not take away an activity that can help regulate mood.Have him assessed for an IEP and get a tutor. Also consider the impact of COVID and factor that in.

I had this same struggle with my son a couple of years ago. I took him out of baseball for a season so that he could focus on school work. What I found was that nothing really changed. It wasn’t about baseball taking too much time or making him lose focus. It was a learning problem that eventually, by working more closely with the school, we were able to work out.
So my suggestion is to not “punish” him by taking away something that could be his passion just because he is struggling with school - it could be completely unrelated.

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Some kids are better at sports. He’s 8 we are in a pandemic he’s struggling too

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Did you take away all other avenues at home first? Even though they might be inconvenient for you and your family, did you take away tablets, phones, TVs? I would hate to think that an activity that could be helpful was taken away while things like tablets and TVs are still being allowed.

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Do a chore chart and reward him based off the chart. I’ve had to do it with my 6 year old daughter. She likes money so she can buy toys but now that she’s in sports we do the chart different. We have been cooped up inside for a year to kids have struggled to with the pandemic. Everyone’s parenting is different hang in there momma

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If that’s the only thing he’s doing well In right now why take it away? Maybe he struggles with school and needs extra help studying, focusing etc. I would meet with his teachers and figure out how he can improve

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He’s 8… let him have his soccer and parents are going to have to work WITH him more on the school work. How is he to learn time management if parents don’t show him its possible!

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Since u didn’t mention video games and stuff I’m goin to assume he doesn’t really play that much for it to be something to be taken away.

I would have made a schedule chart … to see that if it was structured and at specific times he had to do things if that would keep him focused :woman_shrugging:t2:

Have you had his hearing and eyes tested ? As my son was not doing well in school and we found out that he is hard of hearing and cant hear the teacher when in class

My daughter is 9 and has showed some signs of a.d.h.d but she is very well behaved in school and gets good grades in the areas that interest her like reading and science but she has struggled in math badly this year so we have worked with her teacher and she tutors a couple kuds a couple afternoons a week my daughter being one but if I was to take soccer :soccer:from her I believe she would decline in school and at home it is a very good outlet for energy and it teaches so much like sportsmanship and patience she breathes soccer and basketball so we tell her how important it is to keep her graded up because the older she gets she will have to have good grades to play and that’s her door to a good college because mommy isn’t rich lol but I would definitely reconsider taking it away completely I have kept her out of a practice or 2 to make a point and haven’t had to do it again so maybe he has learned from this

This year has been hard on alot of kids, just keep encouraging and maybe help him with chores. My daughter is 8 and out of everything it’s been hard for her to do self care. It’s a constant struggle for us and I am chalking it up to this year being hard. I remind her daily and help her twice a week. (It’s what was recommended) she does her chores and her homework. She is struggling in school this year but the online learning was not good for her. This week was the first week back to school for them so I’m hoping that may help!

No don’t take sport away from him.
Please think about how good physical activity is for your child’s health and brain it’s proven to help.
Come up with another way to get him on track talk to his teachers and Friends something could be going on at school or he could be struggling to learn all kids are like crayons they all learn differently different colours different sizes different shapes you can’t compare your child to anyone else’s because he is himself.
If his failing to do simple chorse find out why talk to him.
I’ve struggled and am still struggling with my 10 year old son about doing chorse and struggling with school we’ve done 18 months of therapy and are just making progress he has ADHD Ocd social anxiety and depression… but he loves his soccer it’s his outlet and it’s helping.

Hang in there mumma. Parenthood is a roller-coaster ups and downs.

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Taking away sports is kinda cruel. I could see taking away everything else but sports are a GREAT outlet for emotions that they are too young to handle appropriately otherwise. Sometimes emotions are way too big for little ones to process and they act out at home and in school.

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Some people struggle with work some people can fly through it. I personally wouldn’t punish my child if they were struggling with school work. Have you looked at getting extra help maybe some tuition? Maybe ask for more work sheets at home or possible a 1-1 x

I don’t think many children this year are doing very well… my daughter who usually makes very good grades has been struggling this year.

Covid has effected the children probably more than anyone. Do not take any more social time away from him. He needs an activity to do…

I’m assuming you don’t go to a gym, being active helps the mind. If anything it could help him.

Sports are a great outlet in my opinion. I take away electronics. I would suggest keeping sports. My oldest needs that outlet or his attitude is way worse. He is 11.

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Your child is older than mine but this is what I would do.
I wouldn’t take him out of an activity because I feel that is the best way to run off energy and help with moods but with that being said, I would talk to his school. I would see how he’s doing there and see how we as a team could help him.
I wouldn’t “punish” him by taking sports away, especially right now. We are all struggling with the pandemic, it’s hard on us adults, imagine the kids and how they feel.
Try to get him out as much as possible but remind him of chores also
Tell him, we will go play outside or do crafts but first you should

  • clean your room, or whatever said chore may be.
    I hope you find a solution, just remind yourself that right now it’s been hard for us all :blue_heart:

Practice isn’t 24 hours a day and it isn’t the problem. I don’t think pulling him from an avenue to release energy, work on communications, team work and being outdoors is the way to go.
You could pull phone, video games, hanging around until homework is done or better yet try help him with it. Ask him whats going on. is it laziness, is he finding it hard and needs help?

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All the kids seem to be having issues under the new covid system. Let him play soccer to release his frustrations but impress on him that his academics r important too.

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I think thats to far that could be a positive thing for him

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This child has a focus issue. Allowing him to do what he enjoys but not those that he doesn’t is not good. You need to replace the soccer with an alternative like chores. Teach him to work responsibly first, (it’ll take him much further in life) he can play later.

I wouldn’t take away a sport. I still sign my kids up for all their extra curriculars regardless of their school grades. Maybe sign him up, but keep it a secret for now, and tell him he has to earn it. Be very clear in your expectations of what he needs to do before he goes to soccer. If he is struggling at school you should try to find the root cause and help him.

I try my hardest to treat my kids as small individual humans, not my possessions to exert my will over. I wouldnt allow someone to remove my leisure activity after a bad day at work, so I wouldn’t think to remove my children’s.

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Ummmmmm no. Sounds exactly like my kid at that age. Thanks to therapy and actually digging in to get to the root cause, he was found to have several diagnoses that were simply out of his control. His football was then used as PART OF HIS THERAPY!

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That’s a long-term “punishment” that I feel would do more harm than good.

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I never understood taking away sports when they do bad in school.
Get to the root cause. Try to help encourage and motivate.

Take away privileges and bonus things, not important things.

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seek professional help as it could be adhd or autism or something.

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Has he ever been evaluated by a doctor for ADHD/ ADD?

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Sounds really cruel. Why take away something he loves because he’s struggling at school? There’s a huge difference between being lazy and struggling. May be ask the school what support there is so he doesn’t fall further behind. Also worth checking out for ASD or Dyslexia too. Instructions get more complex at that age so it could be an issue with understanding work.

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The question to ask is why is he struggling at school? It could be a learning disability like dyslexia.

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Take away his games, Tv, phone etc have your son do more chores but keep him active in soccer; if not give him extra chores of responsibilitiesto have! He might just like that better than all electronics he has. If not its a reason to start acting better. Your child is old enough to know right from wrong!

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If your child’s coaches are the kind that you can open up to, maybe try seeing if they can get your child to open up about what’s causing the issues. Sometimes all it takes is another trusted adult to talk with them.

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Have you looked into why he is struggling and not being able to focous? I woukdnt take anything away from him untill you have looked into it, my son really struggles at school, he’s bright but can’t focous very well, same with my daughter, they both have been diagnosed with adhd due to the fact they don’t focous at school. Obviously not saying that’s the case with your child, but would be ashame if he was being punished for something he could not help, also it has been very hard on kids with schools closing and that.

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Soccer is barely an hour of his time a day, and game time on weekends it is a physical activity that is good for him. Try talking to his teacher and his doctor and maybe look into testing for learning disabilities, ADD, ADHD, even food allergies and parasite problems can cause those kind of things. If you have to punish him by taking things away take his electronics away no tv until homework is done, and that does mean all of the tvs are turned off in the house.

I don’t see a problem with taking it away I would take all games and things away as well maybe not so much as a punishment but a means for him to focus on school and behavior with no distractions! (Soccer is a privilege not a right)!

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NO KIDS NEED TO BE BUSY!! figure out why he is having trouble! Not punish him because he doesn’t get it !

Give back soccer not all kids are great / enjoy everything let hem enjoy what he does and its healthy

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If he’s struggling at school or learning in general, try to get to the bottom of it, taking away sport won’t solve the underlying issue, he will only act out more.

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Cbd oil… life changer for everyone

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Give back the soccer take away extra chores, if he’s doing homework that is a chore in itself for boys

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Omg this makes so made. Honestly kids act out when their not receiving something of a need. Either it’s something from their parents or something they need internally. But of all the years to not be doing so great in schools the last year and this are it. All children are suffering with their education because of COVID. I spoke to many teachers who have confirmed this. Give the kid a break.

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Do what you need to do .
Sports was my last punishment because they learn from it so it’s not just “fun”.
It never got that far for us .

Personally, no I wouldn’t take soccer away. Taking away sports I feel like shouldn’t be a punishment. Sports help children out. This year for school has sucked for kids with how it all has been, I know I have a 12 & 13 year old and even if there grades aren’t the best which at one point they haven’t been we never took away basketball or gymnastics. Look into what the root of the problem is. I know for our kids it’s simply submitting the work since it’s all online either it won’t go through, or they forget to submit it and it’s the reason for a low grade. With my daughter I take the time out with her to make sure it’s all completed and if she doesn’t understand something to wait until I am home to complete the work and make sure I work with her to get through it and I’m in constant communication with her teachers.

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No pass no play is what they teach in High school. We taught our daughter that early. She still was able to practice/ play at home, she just wasn’t able to play with friends. Unfortunately this year she found out the hard way we weren’t making it up, and received her first F. So guess who has straight A’s after riding a bench? Sure, taking the electronics helps, but if he is anything like my daughter and most of the kids she grew up with, its out of sight out of mind.

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If you’ve taken away all that can be taken and focus us still a problem, maybe test for a deeper issue? From dyslexia to ADD/ADHD to simply having to deal with 2020 into 2021. Im the last yi say drug him, but sometimes, even for a little but until other coping skills can be learned and adapted into daily routine, the medications can help.

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Children need exercise. Don’t take away Soccer. Counseling/Therapy is worth a try. Much Love. <3

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Don’t take it away. If school is challenging, then he needs something to feel good and confident about.

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You are his mom, and you know what is best for him. I will tell you what has worked for me in the past. Taking away screen time and tv has worked to a certain degree. I have found that rewards and positive reinforcement worked better at that age. If he is being destructive, he needs a physical outlet. Soccer would be a good outlet. Looking forward, once he is in high school, the expectations of the program is to keep grades up. Not doing so can either be embarrassing for him, or feeling like he has let his team down if he has to sit out a game in order to get his grades up. I know this from experiencing this very situation! Much love! Good luck to you!!!

Sports are a great outlet for stress, and by taking it away you just made things worse. Obviously something is going on and you haven’t identified the problem

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I wouldn’t take away soccer personally. It is an activity that he learns things at.

My mom took away sports when I started slipping

Not all kids are good at school in general it is very structured and some kids don’t do well in that. I know friends who had hard times in school and their parents punished them for it and it made them mad,sad,bitter,etc. There’s probably a reason he’s not doing well on his school work. You should help him not punish.

School first in our home with 3. 2 graduated

Sure take it away if school work is suffering… that is more important then going to soccer. Get him a tudor for the subjects he is suffering in and make a goal…if u pick up your grades by a certain time then we can add soccer back. He needs to understand that soccer is a privilege and school work and chores takes president over anything else.

Sounds like he is struggling and needing help. IMO if he has an interest in soccer at 8…please let him have that outlet. Good fresh air, team work building and physical activity. That would be the last thing I “take away”. I would start with positive reinforcement. Homework together? Maybe a behavior reward system? See where and why hes struggling? Maybe its an attention issue? Too chaotic to focus? Maybe occupational therapy could help? (This was a great help for my son). There are so many reasons to struggle in a class setting. Then at home more work is sometimes just too much to take. Around age 5-7 in school is where sensory needs, eyes, ears etc issues start to show themselves. I would definitely look into these things before taking things away. Good luck and try your best to communicate with him.

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Ok without knowing the full story no one can say definitively either way… however as a last resort I pulled my son from footy when he kept mucking up at school and home. Yes sport can help but at the same time they need to learn that the extras are treats not a given.
It worked for me and my son. He has now returned to footy and is very aware that if his grades slip or his attitude returns then he will loose it again

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Are you not checking his work daily? He’s only in the 3rd grade. This is on the parents. He should still be in soccer and y’all need to step it up to continue to train him to do his work daily , by checking, and doing his “chores” by setting time limits (make bed when he up,) pick up toys once he’s finish playing with them.

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This person asked for help. Not criticism.
We don’t take our kids out of sports, we Do walk by their side-to do Chores-schoolwork-sports. We DO take away all electronics if not right by our side. We do not take away arts, bikes, books, instruments. We do spend more one on one time…not always fun…like, “I need to do the dishes, so you can help me or sit next to me and read or visit. I feel we need to get to know each other better.” Some help, some run away (follow and sit with them), and some sit and read or visit or write/draw. Best thing…it works for all ages. Trust me, some love this, some hate it, but they all leave feeling better about themselves. Not a lot of talking needs to happen.

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There is more going on than you are telling. Personally if you have not already you need to have your son evaluated for ADHD. If he has ADHD what your doing is actually harming and not helping him. Please take him to a neuro psychologist and have him fully evaluated. If he does have ADHD he need that physical activity and most likely more. If he has it work not only with a psych but also an occupational therapist who works with children with ADHD to help him learn skills to help him focus. FYY you can not tall those of us with ADHD to just focus and expect it to happen we actually need to learn skills to help us focus because unlike other people we can not just focus our brain on one thing unless it is something we a extremely interested in and then we will hyper focus on that for a long time. FYI do not listen if you have a teacher telling you Oh he would listen if he wanted too teachers are NOT doctors and should not be say they think a child is or is not ADHD. So please seek help of professionals and stop punishing your kid until you know foe sure what is going on because you can not punish ADHD out of a child.

This year’s been very hard on the kids with doing their schooling online if he’s still doing schooling online I probably would not take soccer away it’s his only outlet his only interaction with kids his own age but if he’s in school learning in class then I would probably take it away. And if he does better whatever sport comes next maybe let him do that one even if it’s not his favorite

As crazy as school is right now I’m surprised any kid is doing well I’d let him play sports we all need a little pleasure in this crazy world get a tutor for school work

I don’t think you should, I believe that if a child is struggling in school/ getting bad grades/failing/ or falling behind that they shouldn’t get punished for that. They should get extra help. :heart:

When I was around his age I was struggling really bad and my parents punished me for it and I remember hiding one of my papers because it was a D and I was terrified of getting in trouble when I tried hard just couldn’t focus and when they found the paper they were scolding me and I cried that I needed help not yelled at or punished because those things weren’t helping me learn more. Don’t take away something he loves or he will fail more, instead help him. This year has been really tough for kids cut them some slack

With the type of issues you’re having I’d say mabe not. We don’t really have all the details which is important. But it sounds like he’s acting out. Have any changes happened? Is he on a specific routine? Does he get one on one time with you? Take him on a trip just you and him. It can be quiet, or let him talk about whatever he needs to talk about. Taking tv/electronics and things like that would be better than a structured sport. I agree in part with Jane Degen. While you’re home, have him do things with you, and do things with him. Kids thrive off of structure and security. You want him to have a healthy outlet for his feelings. And I also agree with Chanel Geanette, sit down with him during homework time. Help him if he needs help, but knowing you’re there may help. I’d also add a reward system for his time limits. Find a good routine, stick to it, and make sure you’re taking time to have one on one time with him to build trust for him to open up about anything free of judgment. Once you find what’s bothering him things should get exponentially better.

Has he been evaluated by a doctor for any underlying condition?

He’s still little maybe find a hobby at home something he can enjoy check his work daily and find something at home you can both do together my youngest likes to help with my garden my youngest son likes to paint and my oldest 11 loves to bake mostly decorating but he does like to help me prep dinner and cook that seems to help with a lot of things helps them calm down focus a little bit more on school and also teaches them a new skill

My daughter is 15 after talking to multiple people we have decided to take away everything that isnt a necessity in life she won’t clean her room pickup after herself help around the house she has school 4 days a week I get her there 2 days for sure sometimes 3 now she says she don’t do anything cause we don’t do for her she has everything she needs plus some and were not buying her anything else til she starts helping out alot of people I talked to said they’d be the same way as long as she has what she needs which she does all she does is lay on the bed with her fine chrome book for school or tablet