I’m just completely devastated that I allowed them all to talk me into this, when I could’ve used that money towards buying things I actually need for my child instead of wasting so much on a shower that nobody attended.
Would I be wrong to express my feelings to them?
My fiance and I are having our second baby together - we didn't do a baby shower the first time because of covid. This time around, all things considered, that the amount of cases have lowered, people have been vaccinated, restrictions aren't so bad, etc.. our families suggested we do one. So we put alot of thought into it, decided it was something we would do. We rented a hall, got a caterer, had a cake and all kinds of sweets made, put together games and prizes.. all this work, and only a handful of people showed. The majority of his family doesn't live very close to us, but they did RSVP that they were coming, especially since it was mostly their idea. My family didn't show either..
32 Likes
I would tell them. It was your baby shower, your first one at that because of covid. Like how are they gonna give you the idea to do it then not even show up…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I talk to people who were no shows for my baby shower? They RSVP'd - Mamas Uncut
I stopped talking to people that did that to me. Planned a big shower with a ton of food and stuff, and had maybe 8 people show up. It’s really not worth the stress in the end, because you’ll realize a lot of them won’t stick around anymore when you have your little one.
Edit: it wasn’t like they told me last min they couldn’t be there, they told me they would come then decided to just not show up.
13 Likes
I had that happen with my son’s high school graduation open house. Nobody and l mean nobody on my side of the family came. Had every excuse in the books. So now when l’m invited l just send a card with money. If they can’t come for my son’s l can’t go to any of there things.
9 Likes
This is why we never plan big events anymore. We spent hundreds of dollars planning and making preparations for my son’s birthday party a few years ago only for two people to show. People are shit.
Life comes up … 
I had people say they are coming to my baby shower then back out at the last minute… it happens
4 Likes
Who caters and rents a hall for a baby shower? Usually they are at a friend or family members house, low key and not a lot of money. 
21 Likes
I think if they RSVP’d and you spent money for them on like food and drink and stuff, then yeah. I would absolutely talk to them. You spent money assuming they were showing and now you’re just out that money
8 Likes
I would find out why before being mad. Some may have a very legit reason. No sense in getting mad. Lesson learned
5 Likes
Cases are spiking maybe the planned on coming but then didn’t cause of that .
6 Likes
I don’t think you needed to make a big deal. Normally family or a friend puts on the baby shower. I would not depend on them for anything
6 Likes
Your life can just change on a dime. I’d let it go.let it go.dont harbor bad feelings. Enjoy your life.love people despite how they disappoint you. Smile and teach your children well.
4 Likes
Get used to it that’s how family are my family does it to me and my kids they pick and choose who to talk too and who kid’s birthday party to go to…I ve stop talking to my family for years less stressed less bs to deal with…less disappointed in the end…my daughter was in a bad car accident and not one family was there for me…I really needed them then… you would think that they would be there especially when there was a tragedy with family…I’m better off my kids better off…
6 Likes
I’m so sorry that happened to you 
1 Like
Ummmmmmmm…why are you throwing your own baby shower? Usually your friends, family, co-workers throw one for the expecting parents. To me it seems kinda rude to invite people to a party where the expectation that they are only being invited so you get a gift from them. You are correct…you should have saved the money for items that you will be needing for the baby. If your families thought you should have a shower they should have hosted it in honor of you, your partner and your new baby. I know things have changed a lot in the past 25 years or so, but I think that there should still be some rules of etiquette observed by polite society. One of them being the purpose and honoring of a RSVP.
Event planners count on RSVPs for planning purposes. When you respond in the affirmative you should attend unless an emergency comes up. Yes…life happens. And when it does, you should at least let the person responsible know you will not be able to attend. And even if you are unable to attend, proper etiquette dictates that you still see that a gift gets to the recipient.
12 Likes
It’s all good…I had 5 kids never had baby shower from either side…but hey my sister had wedding showers two times baby showers 3 times plus house warming i didnt get shower for anything…she got two beautiful weddings i had go court house…Mike was done dirty but its ok…i moved since i was a burden to everone…my hubby died i heard nothing from no one I’m hurt but u cant make people love u right…I pray u get the things u need I’m sorry u went through this
5 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I talk to people who were no shows for my baby shower? They RSVP'd - Mamas Uncut
I had this happen with my daughters first bday. A lot of people rsvp and didn’t show. I rented the building at my local park and all. It was very expensive. But I was very great full to the ones who did show. But me my husband decided not to throw anymore big bday parties until she hits school age. Now we just do a small family celebration. Best decision we ever made.
3 Likes
This is completely annoying and ignorant that people still do this or don’t bother to rsvp at all. It’s in poor taste and manners. Unfortunately you could say something & it still wouldn’t do any good. I doubt any of them would offer to pay some of the expenses back. This is a life lesson you learn from & don’t make the same mistake twice. In fact, you could kill them with kindness which might make them feel guilty, set up a registry on target, Amazon or Walmart & send them a “you missed the shower but here’s our registry info” card and see what happens. Sorry this happened to you. If you live close by or are close to some that didn’t show, you could say something.
7 Likes
Life happens. It sucks not having the ones who said they were coming not come. But maybe they just couldnt. If you want to never talk to them again I wonder who the babies are in your household. It was a shower. Life is better with the people you love in it. The alternative is really NEVER being able to talk to them again. No one is perfect call them up and ask them why they couldnt and accept it that they were doing their life that day. Cherish your family and friends don’t let anything come between you and them especially you.
This happened to me during my daughter’s 2nd birthday. My family had a party and it was a blast. His family pushed for a party and nobody showed. It was just the 3 of us. Two cakes tons of food. Balloons I put so much effort into it. Nobody showed and I cried for 2 hrs after we put our daughter to bed. After that I never had a birthday for her that involved them. I had someone tell me something and my husband before I could even open my mouth told them the way you showed up for Rose’s 2nd birthday. Your lucky that Taylor (myself) made so much effort to keep her happy and distracted that she had a blast. I don’t get invited to any of their gatherings because I don’t invite them to our birthdays.
1 Like
Wow so many saying to just drop them 
look life happens and yes it was VERY rude of them to rsvp and then not show, HOWEVER do u have a good relationship with them outside of this ? Would u have rather they’d not ravod and then showed up and u didn’t have enough food ? Did u end up having a good time regardless of them not showing ? If so then just take this as a lesson learned , don’t stick to their word the next time you plan something but cutting them completely off is a little dramatic (imo) family does stupid stuff sometimes and sometimes they just don’t show, but to cut them off is excessive for sure. Don’t let them out negative energy around u and that beautiful baby in your belly. Move on and take this as a lesson learned.
1 Like
These people have no right to be a part of your child’s life. Did they send a gift? If so that can be a start for no show’s. Karma gets everyone sooner or later.
4 Likes
If you opt to reply, don’t say anything out of anger. Just tell them they were missed & hope that nothing too serious prevented them from attending.
This way you’re acknowledging their absence & being the better person.
6 Likes
Look as much as i would be the one to say something… At this point it’s probably just best to leave them out of you and your kids life. They can’t let you know they couldn’t make it beforehand then don’t call txt send announcements or invite to meet once baby is born. Smaller your circle less drama and happier you’ll be in the end anyways. Congrats
3 Likes
Don’t invite them to other events and don’t feel
Obligated to attend any thing they invite you to. It is expensive to throw events as they RSVPd and didn’t cancel or come . Family
Are the worst for treating others poorly
So I’m on the fence on what to suggest!
Let their future actions be your discion!
You needed them on a happy day in your life and they couldn’t show. How can you depend on them in the future?
I wouldn’t say anything but I wouldn’t go out of my way to include any of them in future celebrations.
1 Like
I’m the type that 
if I think it I say it so yes say something to them
Id express ur concern to them yes. But i wouldn’t like for ever be mad at them. Dnt invite them to anymore deals ever and damn sure dnt go to anything of thiers
I think you just did
It won’t get you anywhere. They obviously don’t care about your feelings.
No… nobody owes you their time. If you needed baby stuff, that should have been your priority instead of a fancy party 
3 Likes
I would eliminate them out of my life 100 percent
2 Likes
I had a “friend” cut me off because I had an urgent family thing come up that day and couldn’t make it
…I had NO control over the situation, so maybe consider that things happen before coming after people for not attending a party
I also don’t believe in throwing your own baby shower though, if family wants you to have one then they can set up the party, you should be saving any extra money for the child coming
4 Likes
Actually my best friends family had a baby shower at a huge hall with a way over the top catering place, they were having twins and both mom and dad already had huge families. Took 4+ vehicles to get gifts home
Mine was in a rented hall, but potluck.
I’ve also helped host a couple in backyards.
They’re all different
I get it girl sometimes family sucks 
1 Like
And this is why i never host anything. For me or my kids. Wanna come see em for their birthday? Cool. But im not spending 1000 bucks for no one to show up either. Im getting married on monday and im not even having a real wedding. Because people suck. Get over it
If you say you’re going and then don’t, your trash #sorrynotsorry . 90% of the time if someone claims “family emergency” they’re lying and just coming up with an excuse because they don’t want to have to go. Yes sometimes things happen but the sheer number of people constantly doing that, proves that people make things up to get out of doing things. But that’s how society is now, there’s NO camaraderie. But this was building up before covid, and covid was the breaking point to where people just don’t do anything anymore 
Honestly I don’t know their story. I remember RSVPing a birthday party for my daughter and I literally forgot about it. The mom texted me a half hour into the party and I had to drop what I thought inwas doing and I took her. I felt so bad. I don’t know if somthing came up for them or they just forgot. Yes you work really hard making sure you have enough of everything for everyone but I wouldn’t hold a grudge just for that. Just send thank yous to the ones that did show up and give a gift. Butbwhat do I know. I have 7 babies and not a single baby shower. Now if they somehow stab you in the back then by all means cut them off.
People have always done this in my experience. They rsvp and don’t show or just don’t respond at all to the rsvp. It’s something you just kinda gotta expect unfortunately. Plus with covid I’m not surprised. Honestly I would just let it go. Yes it does suck but that’s the way it is sometimes.
The baby shower I had for my last baby was planned for MONTHS. Most family didn’t even show up. Some of them decided to go to Amish Country instead and didn’t even tell me- they told someone else to tell me at the baby shower. But they are sure to go to everyone else’s stuff in the family. It’s a great time.
Actually never heard of throwing your own baby shower! Usually someone - family or friends- does it . But that being said if they RSVP they should of come - did you ask why they didn’t?
1 Like
This isn’t to sound mean, but: YOU chose to spend that money. They just suggested a baby shower. You’re a grown adult who could have just had a nice little get together with some food or what not. Why would you have a huge blow out?
Things come up. You can try contacting but what good is that going to do you? You’re just gonna have the bite the bullet and take the loss on this one.
On another note, anyone who said for you to do a shower and then not show up I’d be ticked off at
1 Like
I would honestly talk to the family that didn’t come. My family has done this to me too and I know it hurts. Next time try to do something smaller. We did mine at a family members house and then one at our church.
I dare say the family that did not turn up will buy baby present when it arrives anyway ,that’s what the the shower is for isnt it gifts for baby ,I would rather wait till baby is here safely and buy a prezzy when I want to rather than go to a shower and expect yo bring a gift!
Leave it alone. It will cause drama and stress . U don’t need that when ur pg. This is how it goes alot don’t show. U said yourself they don’t live close. The covid numbers r up and ppl don’t feel comfortable. They may have intended to come but some may have not had the funds for it. Don’t make them feels worse ab it.
Nobody forced you, hiring a caterer…??? For a baby shower…??? Say nothing and quit complaining…
2 Likes
Is this a serious question? Sounds a bit selfish!
1 Like
I had a production baby shower and this was my worst fear thankfully most people showed and I got tons of gifts you aren’t wrong for being in your feelings should you tell them no don’t waste your time obviously they didn’t waste theirs going to your shower just do to them as they did to you when it’s their turn period
Sorry that happened 
Truthfully be thankful for the ones who did come! You didn’t have to go full blown like you did and you chose to spend that amount of money. The people who were telling you, you should do it are the ones who should of planned it for you. But, people RSVP all the time and don’t show up, it’s life.
Light them up!!! Also you shouldn’t be throwing your own baby shower. They wanted you to have a baby shower so bad they should have thrown one for you.
You don’t throw your own baby shower. You chose to go all out when you could have had something on a much smaller scale. It is disappointing that they didn’t show up but there is never a guarantee on who shows and who doesn’t. You are going to have to chalk it up as a loss and move on.
i probably wouldn’t say anything to everyone but i’d post something very similar to this on my own wall. “pretty disheartening being encouraged to throw a baby shower and having no one show, especially when i could have really used the money to buy what i needed since i didn’t even get gifts , sorry for the rant feeling emotional!” lol something like that. i’m petty tho i’ll admit it 
Family members are not supposed to give you a baby shower. Bad etiquette!
No you would not be wrong. You are allowed your opinion and your say so.
No tell them how you feel
Life happens…plans change daily…go on with your life dont dwell on this…
You gave yourself a baby shower??