Aside from reading this, no offense, but I would’ve ran as far away as possible the second he said he was Nigerian (if you’re in America). I’ve personally witnessed how many people from that particular country treat others. And women are beneath second class citizens, especially American women.
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After being with a narcissist, I wouldn’t. I would run… move… and stay away.
I would not let him know about the birth. He sounds like a danger to the both of you
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Just move on I know it’s not as easy as ot sounds when there is a child involved. He will only make your life miserable. Judges are fickle and have awarded custody to a deadbeat father because the mother works 12 hours a day and he has more time for the child so now she has to pay him child support. Be very cautious. I totally agree DO NOT put his name on the birth certificate because you give him rights to the child
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I would pretend to not know who the dad is and move on. Really. I wish I did that the first time I got pregnant
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You sound like an intelligent person! Listen to your lawyer! Cut any and all ties with this man, he’s trouble and bad news! He desperately needs help! You are not the one to give it to him! Run as fast and as far away that you can!
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Absolutely not I wouldn’t tell that jerk nothing
I say protect u and the baby and move away n tell no one
No! Do not put him on the birth certificate, do not give the child his name and do not tell him about the child, cease all contact and never speak to him again!
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Don’t tell him anything. Ideally if possible I would move to another town or at least several hours away. Block him on all social media. Lock down your social media accounts so only friends can see anything you post. If you have any mutual friends, I would drop them as they can easily tell him…either on purpose or by accident.
No way, tell him you had an abortion if he contacts you before you have the baby and definitely tell him nothing about your child, he’s sounds horrible and you really do not need that in yours or your children’s lives!! Best of luck
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I was in a VERY similar situation in fact I read to the end to find out if we had been with the same man. I went through with an adoption process because I too could not go through with an abortion. He was greedy enough to go through with the adoption because the agency we went through paid his bills so he basically sold the baby while my intention was more like baby Moses in a basket. I didn’t want him to have anything to do with the baby so I did the best thing I could for my baby which is all we can do as mothers. I chose the adoptive parents and built a relationship with them. Things went smoothly. No regrets. These type of guys never disappear especially if they find out that they have a reason to stick around.
Stop all contact with him
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Hell NO I wouldn’t tell him. “Your” child does not need this POS in his/her life, and neither do you or your other children.
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Do not put name on it,jst for instance I know u wont;u went to Nigeria in he got baby nothing u could do xx
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You’re a mental health therapist and should have saw the red flags we see in your post.
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I wouldn’t tell him at all screw him and move on mama I wish you a healthy pregnancy/delivery/baby 
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Hes probably already read all of this
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Enjoy you and babes life without the narcissistic twatt
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I’m sorry but if this was me, I would be so mad at my sister for introducing me to this guy in the first place. In all honesty I would just move away and completely ghost this guy.
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NOPE if I was u I’d contact the ex 2 see what all she has 2 say about him also. But u pretty much kno about him dnt let him imitatedate you
For the safety of you and your child, do not under any circumstances let him know anything! Plus, it’s not like he’s going to contribute in any way financially, and he is already not nice to his first child, so why bring chaos into yours and your child’s life? By bringing him in, you could do more harm than good. Just saying…
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I think people forget adoption. Your unborn baby did not ask for this. Abortion is not the answer. I would do the right thing either move away and not tell anyone associated to him if you want to keep the child, or give the child to a family without him knowing.
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My middle sons father (correction sperm donor) is Nigerian. Complete ass hole. Woman are nothing in their country. My son will be 8 in November. He hasn’t seen him since he was 8months old. Better for my son to not see woman being treated that way.
Really trying to wrap my head around why you would have sexual intercourse with a guy who is so obviously not right for you?
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Nope. I live in another country and had a baby. Now I can’t leave Europe without his permission with our son. Don’t put him on the birth certificate and don’t tell him. Live your life.
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Just move on, I wouldn’t tell him and I wouldn’t have any contact with him. Your children, the one on the way and yourself don’t need that in your life.
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So advocating for the child here……Yeah don’t even trifle with all that. Don’t put him on the birth certificate block him where needed or don’t whatever. Don’t inform him one way or another.
No contact.
One day your child will have questions and want to know why….perhaps you can prepare like a memory box or something for your child and lock that part of your life in there. Letters. Copy of text messages your “proof” any pictures you have that way one day when the child asks you can be prepared with well here’s the story. Here’s the box. Once you’re old enough if you want to find him I won’t stop you. But I was protecting you as well as myself and your siblings from a bad situation.
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I would suggest break all contact with him. Do not let him anywhere near the baby. If you can’t take care of it place it for adoption.
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This is hard bc having a child with someone ties you to them…I hope this child isn’t going to be in a legal mess and suffer the consequences of the actions that are happening. I hope I don’t sound mean, I’m just being honest. Also, will your child be autistic also and are you ready for that?
Think about your future and your child’s future and how you want it to be and make sure you can make that future possible.
There’s also adoption as an option.
Good luck to you.
Depending on the state it doesn’t matter if he’s on the birth certificate as long as you’re not married. He would have to file a petition of paternity to have ANY rights
I wouldn’t tell him. Good to get away from him as much as you can. If you can support you and your family without child support from him better for you and kids.
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Don’t tell him. Don’t put him on the birth certificate. Don’t tell mutual friends. Keep crazy out of your child’s life.
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Don’t involve him if anything ever again. I would be a PFA against him if anything. And let it be, never contact him again especially if he can’t even provide.
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Too bad you can’t take custody of his son the way he treated him or help his ex wife
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Gurllll all this and you ended up sleeping with him and GETTING PREGNANT?! Yup something is definitely wrong with you too!!! This is some sick twisted Lifetime Movie shit! You deserve whatever happens to you because when the red flags went up the first time you should have ran!!!
sounds like you already know what to do
Tldr if you don’t feel safe don’t do it
i wouldn’t tell him ever
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Simple…Execute him from your life. If you keep her baby or not it is your choice, a very personal one. Should he be involved …NO…should he be told NO…you’re asking for more trouble than you can even imagine
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Girl you already answered your question, don’t put him on the certificate and don’t tell him anything, you’re better without him, the only thing you will get by telling him is more drama instead of a caring father
Sleeping with someone you really are not attracted to and do
Not love now you are bringing a child into the world of chaos you have created. Shame on you
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You answered your own question at the end of your story 
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If you are a therapist you are what is called a mandated reporter if you know thus abuse is happening you are legally bound to report it period just like a teacher a dr or nurse etc you are mandated ro make a report remember what dr Phil says if you see it say it smh get that little boy some help now not later God only knows what he goes through when there’s knowbody around please speak up for this little fellow im not sure what state your in but you can research all this and find the correct channels to take to keep this little boy safe most often times get way more dangerous for the child when the abuser is brought to light so please do it today not tomorrow not when you have your ducks in a row today because tomorrow may not come for that little boy im praying you do the right thing here and also do not add him to anything regarding your child as far as he knows you got an abortion
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Dont tell him go and live your life for you and your children
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If I were you, I would pretend you had a drunken one night stand in a bar, and have no clue what the dudes name is!
My only concern is that this is your sisters boyfriends best friend… which means word might get back to him. But if you don’t list him on the birth certificate, he would have to file a court case to establish paternity/custody/visitation… which I don’t see him doing, if his situation is as you’ve said.
On a side note, your sister and her boyfriend need to be given a piece of your mind. Your sister may not have known the whole situation, but her boyfriend HAD to know at least some of this stuff about his best friend!
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Don’t put him on the birth certificate, don’t tell him, and make it clear to anyone that knows him to not say anything … block him and act like he never existed… and just focus on you and your kiddos… nobody needs that… and that little one don’t need to deal with the trauma with having a father like that
I wouldn’t tell him anything I would move far away from so he wouldn’t no and I would never look back .just make a happy future for you and your family.good luck
Nope. Keep yourself and babies safe 
You are the one that is mental. Having sex with a guy you dont trust. What is wrong with you.
You’re a mental help therapist and have to ask all this? Have you reported to DCS about his behavior with his son that he has custody of?
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I would not tell him
U on the right track.
To be fair you seem to of answered all your own questions so no don’t tell him or have any further contact ever if you can help it.Best wishes and best of luck 
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No! I wouldn’t tell him nothing…best to move on without him in your life…if he is acting that way…I wouldn’t contact him anymore and wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate either
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Just cut off all communication with him, after he told you to have the abortion and goodbye, leave it at that. Don’t tell him shit else, have your baby and live your life. As far as I’m concerned, he will never know as long as you block him and never speak to him again. He sounds like a lunatic.
I’d not tell him anything! Move and never see him again !
Don’t tell him , consider placing the child with a family that would die for that child
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Ghost this asshole. Make up a story of a wild night at a bar with a mystery man and leave it at that. Change your number.
Absolutely NOT . Don’t say nothing . Do what you need to do for that baby and YOUR family .
I’d call social services on him as his other child could be in danger and you have the proof
Reason why you SHOULD GET TO KNOW THE MEN BEFORE YOU SLEEP WITH THEM:person_facepalming:
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Don’t tell him, you need to keep you and your child safe at all costs. If you know he’s like this, it could get worse if he knows you’ve given birth. Do what you can to keep yourself safe at home and when going out, please make yourself aware of your surroundings
I definitely would NOT tell him
In hearing how you just described him to all of us reading this, would want your baby around that type of person? C’mon now. That’s another can of worms you Don’t need to open. I think you already knew the answer to this question and besides, who cares what all of us strangers have to comment about your decision-making for your child? You didn’t need to post this. In the end, since being his/her Mother, you have the final decision.
No good block himout of your life! my question to you is? if you started seeing patterns why did you continue to keep talking to him sleeping with him? If he had issues I mean I would of seen the red flags right away just saying
Don’t tell him!! don’t let guilt or anything creep in and you give in and tell him… you are all so much better off without him
Don’t tell him. Personally I’d move away or out of that house your in atleast
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No absolutely not. Block him on everything. And move. If he finds out you had the baby he can take you to court and get rights to the child. Seriously this guy is psycho. Do what you have to do to protect your child.
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If there was second thoughts from the beginning why would you sleep with him? What the heck. Especially more than once. And you’re a mental health what? Knowingly bringing a cold into this situation? SMH
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Get an order of protecti[n also do when he finds out you had the baby. He can’t legally come around
Don’t tell him a word
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Not only would I not tel him but I would move where he can’t find me
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Don’t tell him… you had a one night stand… raise your baby move on
You do realize that he can take you to court and have his name put on the birth certificate and he’ll get vistitation. Sorry but fathers have rights. My ex husband was abusive in every way but he still got one weekend a month visitation because I live 3 hrs away. The judge said the abuse wasn’t to my son but to me. He apparently doesn’t have child endangerment charges on him or he wouldn’t have full custody of his son. Sorry but if he wants to see his child he will have rights and there’s NOTHING you can do about it.
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Big yikes. I wouldn’t want to have a kid with someone like that. Just remember it is YOUR CHOICE to do what you want with YOUR body.
Nope. Don’t tell him. I’d move away and never talk to him again.
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Seriously, you are mental health professional asking these questions. Answer is no. I would not tell him and I would have ppo put on him. I would Blick him from all social media and change your phone number. I would Even move to a different house or apartment so he could not find you. I would also disown the friend that introduced you two. He sounds crazy and very unstable to me. I am not even a mental health professional. .
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Child endangerment on his record….seems like a no brainer to me
Girl you keep that baby and you keep on living YOUR LIFE. Let his ass gooooo.
Don’t tell him, don’t post it, don’t make it a thing… that way he can’t file against you for not putting him on the birth certificate or telling him.
Block him & everyone he knows.
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Adoption may be a better option. You could even do an open adoption so you can still be a part of their life. But if you keep it, DO NOT tell him. He sounds crazy enough though that he may eventually find out and if he does you need a solid plan for keeping all of you safe. I would file a restraining order now.
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I personally wouldn’t tell him. And so far seems like you are doing everything right. But I would ask your lawyer. He does have the right to know but at the same time he knows about the child. In my books that’s good enough. Just do everything you can and keep your head up. Lots of luck and lots of love to you and yours.
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I would not tell anyone who the father is…ever.
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I would not tell anyone who the father is…ever.
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Let me get this straight: you are a mental health therapist and after several red flags you are still considering inviting him into this child’s life?! Also, it seems from the beginning you were unsure so why did you even sleep with him?
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I would not tell him sound like you already know that it’s not safe for you or your kids
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I wouldn’t say anything to him anymore.
Don’t tell him. I didn’t put my son’s bio on his birth certificate and he still got visitation and paid child support.
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No. Why are you telling us this big long story when you know the answer! You should know people better before you sleep with them!!! The men in most of the foreign countries have no respect for women. I agree with others. Do not put his name on the birth certificate. Move if you can. Take all precautions, he might stalk you or who knows what else!
I personally want to thank you for not having an abortion. That baby deserves a chance at life. I wouldn’t say anything unless I had to, he’s crazy. He’s not going to take the baby to Nigeria, he probably can’t afford to take him across the street! Don’t give him any way to keep tied to you or your baby. I would never put him on the birth certificate either. I think the best thing for you right now is to pretend he no longer exists, and stay completely away from him. Good luck!
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The real question is how your child will feel when they grow up and find out that you never told their father about them. Does your child deserve to have a dad? What will your child think when they find out you never gave their dad the opportunity to be involved?
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i have a very similar situation and didn’t put him on my child’s BC either. It worked for a while. It didnt work indefinitely. I wouldn’t tell him. But I also worry that if he finds out 6 years down the road and takes you to court that they will see you as alienating the other parent and that will look horrible for your custody battle (Even if you have proof he’s unsafe. I did.)
Edit to add: My thinking that the dad needs to be in the kids lives caused WAY more harm than good.
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Tell him nothing, block all contact. He is toxic
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Big red flags dont tell him and if he ever see you out with baby say not his are ots a friends child dont even let him know anything and tell your sister not to tell her boyfriend so he cant tell him of there best friends
Maybe you shouldn’t have slept with him when you weren’t sure about how you felt to begin with and you wouldn’t be in this position now
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You know the answer.
I honestly find it hard to believe this guy is your sister’s best friend but they didn’t know any of this. I think you met him on a dating site and want to make yourself feel better. The best friend would have known he didn’t have a job and all this other stuff. Something doesn’t add up here.
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Nope. Don’t tell him a thing.
Have your baby, but be safe( both legally and physically).
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Hell no I wouldn’t!!! Protect that baby love.
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I normally wouldn’t say this, but if all you said is accurate then I wouldn’t tell him.
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