I’m so confused
You say you don’t need him, don’t want him in your life, he doesn’t want you to have this baby, he’s toxic, he’s abusive, yet you STILL need to ask if you should give him the ability to force his way into yours and your child’s lives? 
WHY?
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I was married, got pregnant, beaten severely. Often! I lost the baby and almost the sight in my left eye. A couple weeks later he raped me. I left! Ran for my life basically. Later I found out I was pregnant again! I decided there and then I would protect my child with all my life and love it with all my heart. I got divorced. Never put his name on the birth certificate, and never told him! (He never thought it was his anyway!) My job was to protect my innocent child from a monster, at all costs! I never got child support, but we managed! And my child never even had to spend a moment with an abusive monster. I would never take the risk of him even having visitation of my precious baby.
So to you I say, if you keep this baby and don’t opt for adoption or something else, then love this child with all your heart and NEVER run the risk of him having any rights to that baby! If he weren’t abusive, unstable and was a good father, I would say don’t rob your child of father. This is not the case in this situation. Commit to this child 100% if you choose to keep it. And if you cannot keep it, adoption is a great option, but ALWAYS protect it! Keep the father’s identity a secret from EVERYONE. Better people think less of you than for him to find out and have rights to this child. Keep your secret!
We all would protect a unknown child from an abusive situation, how much more should we protect our own child!?! (Even if we were to choose adoption, protect your child from an abuser!)
Please don’t abort your baby. I would also not tell the father and maybe consider getting a restraining order on him.
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I would keep the baby and not tell him, honestly. Run! Far and fast!
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No. Absolutely not. You’ve done the right thing all the way up to asking this question… like no why would you give him an opening keep bleeding that toxicity on to you, the baby, & your other children. He is in no shape or form to be a good father or husband so no. If your baby wants to find him when they’re old enough then thats their choice. You’re making the best choices you can based off of the facts and things you’ve already endured from the man. Run girl, block on EVERYTHING, change your number, move if you need to but Cut. Him. Out. 
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Dont say anything at all for you and your baby’s safety and well being.
I feel you would be in so much danger eventually if he finds out
Move out of state, now.
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Nope. Say nothing. Nada!
First of all, don’t tell him. Secondly, don’t give the baby his name. Third, don’t put him on the birth certificate. He sounds too broke to take you to court anyway.
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Why are you questioning if you should tell him if you just gave 100 different reasons not to?
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Don’t tell him. Leave him alone if he knew he might try to cause problems you don’t want to deal with
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I believe you answered your own question! Never mention him again
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I’d move, block any social and any mutual friends, and absolutely never speak another word to him
Now you know what to do because you have answered your own questions! As a mental health therapist you know what to do logically…just do it and don’t even talk to him at all anymore!
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No don’t tell him keep it secret safety for you and your child
Please put baby up for adoption in a two parent loving home. Baby deserves it.
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Honestly I wouldn’t tell him as he sounds dangerous, or I’d wait to tell him and only have supervised visits. But I have a feeling this man will male your life hell, so though many would disagree, I wouldn’t tell him. But if he finds out through the grape vine, that could cause problems.
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I would never tell him but I would probably get an order of protection for both of you after the baby is born & if the court tells him so be it. Because at that point he won’t be able to contact you anyways but say he DOES find out and there’s nothing in place to stop him from coming near you or the child it could get a little wild.
Also depends — is this a small area, will he find out, can he run into you? Are you gonna move far away and be sure he never finds out? He sounds extremely dangerous so I would take all the steps to protect yourself and the baby. Good luck.
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Let him continue to think you got an abortion. Cut off all contact and go about your life.
Move to a different area, keep the baby and do not put his name on the BC or make mention of a father.
He sounds like more trouble than he’s worth. And if you can do it on your own, go for it.
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Good grief girl…hell no don’t tell him Sh💩. Sounds crazy as a bed bug
Don’t ever tell him nothing. Let him go on living his life knowing u had a abortion. 
Don’t tell him. Don’t pass go. He had his “paper abortion” and asked out. You have given it to him. He’s unstable and unsafe. Be safe. Keep your baby safe.
I would tell him I got an abortion. Just so he leaves you alone. Block him on everything so he can’t keep track of you. I think you and the baby are better off without him.
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What a mess. First off… you seem very weird yourself. Like keeping track of when you had a sex on an app, that’s weird. Love shouldn’t be planned it just happens. A child is a gift and being he’s half of that baby it’s his too and you can’t keep the baby from him. Maybe you can but that’s messed up. You basically investigated this dude way after having a relationship with him and conceiving a child::: you’re not perfect either. You both obviously have issues only he can’t defend himself. Bottom line… don’t be together if there’s no love but raise the child together like adults and get over everything else.
edit just saw you said he’s Nigerian 
wtf were you thinking … men from over there especially if Muslim … you should have never taken the first date smh … yeah I’d avoid him.
I wouldn’t tell him anything and I would get far away from him as I could
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He’s scary and has proved to you to be unfit. He thinks you’re not having the baby. Let him think that. I’m all for fathers seeing their children but I would be scared of him. Especially with his history. If he hits other women(or whatever was on the report) he probably hits his kid and would be a danger to you and the baby. If you tell him he could very well follow through on taking the baby to a different country, even if he’s not on the BC. If you feel like you’ll need child support then I believe you have to put him on the birth certificate, I think. Not sure. I would keep him out of it. Sounds like it isn’t what he wants anyways.
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You dont need yo tell him anything !!!
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Cut all contact. As far as he knows, you got the abortion.
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I’d stay away from him completely. This loser sounds dangerous to me. Stop all communication at this point. Block him from everything. Hopefully he will fade away and never bother you again and if he does try to contact you take out a protective order against him. I wouldn’t tell him anything at all… nothing … just stay far away. 
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Do what’s best for the child. Only that. Leave your feelings about him on a personal level out of your decision. Only think about your child. And your child’s well-being.
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Don’t tell him you didn’t get the abortion. Your sister can’t tell him that you never got it. Let him think you did.
If you’re really concerned about having ties with him (and since you didn’t want the baby to begin with), you can drop the baby off at a fire station or give it up for a closed adoption since the father is unstable and violent.
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While your at it give your sister an uppercut for introducing you to a psycho smh🙄
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I would move and change my number!! The condom busting while you were ovulating is highly suspicious. So meticulous about keeping dates and timelines and you still managed to get pregnant!
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in Last month i have received $ 17428 doing work on my mobile. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 19638 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibllity with this ls endless.
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I would completely GHOST him.
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Hell no! Run. Hide. He’s nuts.
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Why did you sleep with this guy in the first place??
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Id tell him that you had the baby when you have the baby that is and make sure that he doesn’t know where you live or which hospital your at
Nope, it is in the best interest of your baby, your older children, and yourself to not have any contact with him any longer. Let him go on thinking you had the abortion. You already know how he is as a father so he would be the same way. As far as child support, sometimes the money just ain’t not worth it!!! I however would think of what you would do, say, maybe a way to defend yourself, just in case you cross paths with him or he gets word of mouth that you didn’t have an abortion since you do have connections to him. I would make the.people closest to you aware of what’s going on just in case. And if you really feel like he could be a treat you can always make your local police department aware of the situation also
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Wouldn’t tell him a damn thing and if he tries to interfere, call the cops asap!!! You have all the evidence you need. 
Do not tell him. Never tell him. He is a sperm donor and you will be more than enough parent for your child. Good luck and be safe!!
By everything that you have said, I would absolutely NOT tell him!!! If you do you’re just asking for a miserable life for that child. PLEASE DO NOT TELL HIM!!!
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It’s none of his business when you give birth. He told you to get an abortion, let him think that you did. Also have no farther contact with him.
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No don’t say anything to him. You know you are best to have zero contact. Why expose your child to him on any level??
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Keep that man away from that child. I think you love drama or you wouldn’t be entertaining this., Still time to terminate as I don’t think child deserves to be brought into this mess.
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Atlease you used your brain not giving his name or putting him on the birth"C
So good on you, actually that deserves a standing ovation because most woman would name him and give the baby his last name in hope he’s guna Change Lol 
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Why didn’t you do all the checking into his background before you slept with him then you wouldn’t have these problems
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Maybe consider adoption. Get good money and baby gets a good home. Get a protective order against him. Move on with your life. He doesn’t need to be around you or any kids sounds like. Emotionally unstable.
I would keep everything to show your baby when your baby is old enough and leave it up to them if they want to contact him or want him to know about them.
Me personally I would just let him think there is no baby. One day you might find an actual stable man that wants to be a daddy to this baby
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No no no stay away from him
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Good job on not getting an abortion… the irony of aborting his baby just to save you from drama is really cringy. Congrats on opting out of it, none of this is the baby’s fault, honestly. Accountability of one’s actions on both parties could improve the situation… So the man needs help, either dr phil kind of help or jordan peterson kind of help. I wouldn’t keep the birth of his kid a secret. That won’t look good in court, remember, now that there is a baby involved so it’s turned into a family dynamic. The most important parent in a child’s life is the same sex parent. Get the man some help that is not you, and see how it goes. A temporary restraining order, whatever. But I wouldn’t keep him from his own child. That’s childish. And all the women saying to not tell him should be ashamed of yourselves. The courts are made to rule against a father anyway, which is utter bs, but you’re better off taking your chance on that. You would look better in the eyes of the courts if you played by their rules, cause if you don’t, the father to be could wise up and take you to court himself. Don’t underestimate the possibilities. Everyone in your situation needs to calm down and seek mediation or counseling. A mediator would be able to tell if he isn’t fit and wouldn’t hesitate to tell you or involve someone higher up in the chain. Good luck on your journey. One job of a mother besides making sure their child is safe is to make sure that child has a relationship with their father.
And this is coming from someone that should have been kept from their father.
After I became pregnant with my 2nd child, the father became very abusive. I left him and I’ve been raising my child on my own and he’ll be 6 next month. He’s never seen his father or talked to him since he was a newborn in the NICU. He’s very unstable, abusive, has a record 10 miles long and I later found out he was “at one time” a registered SO. But since he was almost 16 when it happen, he didn’t have to register after he reached a certain age. It was 2 little kids he sexually abused. I don’t have any contact with him whatsoever and my son is fine without him. It really strikes my nerves seeing these comments telling you to get an abortion because the child don’t need to be born into “this mess” when you’ve stated more than once you can’t do an abortion. I personally wouldn’t say anything to him. Let him think there is no baby and just go on about your life.
Don’t tell him. Don’t list him on the birth certificate. If he wants rights he’ll have to go to court for them to get a paternity test and be listed on the birth certificate and he’ll be on child support. Leave that man alone. Ghost him and don’t look back or have regret or remorse.
I would NOT tell him anything. I would block him. And never have any contact with him again.
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Don’t tell him and if he finds out say it’s someone’s else’s
At 11 weeks your already feeling fluttering??? I think your probably more along then you think u are
I would NOT tell him. For the safety of you both, he sounds scary. If you got him out of your life by telling him you were having an abortion, GOOD, don’t invite him back in.
You have the potential to have an autistic child you need to make that decision Andy O with that guy nope
No… then in a few months you can call him a “deadbeat”.
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Would not ever tell him
Congratulations on the baby. About the “father” keep all records, for you. Screenshot convo’s and any papers. If at any time, you do need state assistance- then you don’t have to put dad’s name ever- you can say you don’t know but this way is better. Tell them that he’s unstable and it’d be undlsafe for you your child and other children for him to be contacted. This will keep you from being penalized or later on outed. Because if a father is I the picture they will attempt to charge him for the aid you receive. Keep his name off paperwork, and no contact. Love your baby and your kids and be safe and happy.
By the way, ignore the haters on these comments- some ppl only know how to raise up when they step on others. I get it. Bad relationships happen. Ppl hope their toxic traits til they feel you are trapped and have to stay. You made great choices while thinking on your feet.
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True that no question!! as far away as possible for your child’s safety, in time you will have to tell the truth. be as honest with your child as you can be when questions are asked. never bad mouth donor to your child, always the truth. 
all the blessings in life to u both. Parenthood is awesome! Enjoy every minute
Wake up you know what you need to do !!!
I wouldn’t tell him. He’ll just bring drama.
in Last month i have received $ 16582 doing work on my mobile. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 19638 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibllity with this ls endless.
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I would not tell him this puts you and your other children and unborn child in unnecessary danger. Just have your Bub and move forward that’s very good that your not putting him on the birth certificate he has made it clear he doesn’t want the child.
Make sure you keep all messages etc as proof if he tries anything in the future
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Hell no! Don’t say a word.
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I would think things through.I have a friend in a similar situation where she told the dad she was having an abortion and they went their separate ways Baby was born and she didn’t inform him and then he found out when he saw her in a gas station when baby was 11 months old.He took her to court to prove paternity and when it was proven it was his child and the judge found out she wasn’t truthful to him and kept him from the knowledge of his child for a year the judge was upset she did that and ordered 50/50 custody.I think in your case there’s a high chance he will figure it out…
Day nothing at all. Just leave and never contact him again.
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duhh! who’s the mentally challenged one?? WHY would you sleep with him if you noticed all these things about him that didn’t add up?? Shut up and disappear.
No let him go on with his life and you raise the child by yourself. I would recommend that you move also and do not post pictures of your child on facebook or any other social media.
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Move; change your phone number; change your name; do everything possible to be invisible from him; get a tpo for you, your children and this baby! don’t ever consider seeing him or talking to him; you may have gotten out by the skin of your teeth! 
telling him you were gonna get an abortion! good luck!
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Nope keep it to urselg
Huh… Try birth control.
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Do not tell him. You don’t need his drama
If he cared he’d be there and sort things out
Check state laws in Va after you’ve told him it’s his baby you’ll share joint custody meaning he can pick the baby up if you ever leave it with a sitter and go wherever with it.
If you decide to claim you aborted baby do you plan to cut ties with all mutual friends and move to another area (like hours away) so you’d never run into him?
I doubt if you hide the baby from him in entirety and stay where you are and keep those same friends that you’d be able to keep it a secret for long and I don’t think a judge would like you telling him of the abortion and hiding baby. There’s a lot to think about in this situation.
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Why do u even need to ask that!!!
I would need to hear your sisters boyfriends best friends side of the story first. 
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Now with everything you stated why would you ever think to tell him that you did have the baby. Heck no don’t say anything and if it does come up you got pregnant by someone else. You will find someone else who will love you unconditionally and will love to be a father to the child in the future.
Don’t tell him let him think you aborted the baby
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Here’s your answer; save yourself and your babies. Stay as far away as possible!
I would not say anything. Block him on everything. Avoid the toxic man altogether. Hugs and wish you well with your little one coming and you GOT this!!
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Let him think you had an abortion. Do not let him know otherwise it is in your best interest for you and the baby to not let him know you went through eith keeping the babt
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One Lie, Good bye! Tis better to be along with your wonderful self that to get trapped.
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Nope say nothing
You’re then doing what’s best for yourself, the baby and your other children.
I’d go the police and get an avo on him to protect yourself and make them aware of what’s happened and what his threats are.
You’re already a strong individual by knowing when to leave and already doing what’s right for you and solely providing for your family. Wishing you every ounce of the best as you’ve already done what’s right x
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No do not tell him ever.
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Nope don’t tell him but he will obviously hear anyway through your common friends so do not put him on the birth cert and save all the evidence in case he brings you to court for it cos he can do that. Best of luck
Your not listing him
On birth certificate so keep quiet. I would be concerned however that your sister or her boyfriend will say something and that woukd cause trouble. So make sure you have everything documented and recorded
I wouldn’t tell him. I would also move houses and ask friends not to tell him for your and your child’s safety.
If you can’t trust the friends make up that you slept with someone else. It may paint you as the ‘bad guy’ but, it may just keep you safe.
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I think you should reconsider terminating the pregnancy. This is a nightmare. And I’m not going to sit here and list all of the things you should have done before getting pregnant, it doesn’t matter. Do you want to have to share this child w him? How will your other kid’s be effected? Etc etc etc. this is doomed.
And I really don’t wanna hear anyone else’s feedback besides the author.
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in Last month i have received $ 16877 doing work on my mobile. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 19638 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibllity with this ls endless.
Hop Over This>> https://spectacular-ganache-64de8c.netlify.app/
Um absolutely not! Tell him nothing.
is this a real story??? It has every buzzword and symptom saying “Danger Will Robinson”. Too perfect of a bad story.
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nope! you have that baby and provide for it, you said you make more then enough to provide so you give that baby the best life you can and keep him out of the picture!
Don’t spill he is a psycho!
Get him completely out of your life, and don,t tell him about the child , you can take care of it your self, if not you would be asking for trouble, he sounds like he might be dangerous, to have around
NO do not tell him anything