Can you please post? My husband no longer works a public job due to mental health issues, and I am the only one bringing home a steady paycheck. Just before Christmas, I was promoted to full time. My husband does odd jobs here and there to help pay the bills. Last year around September, I started to save a little bit of money where I could so I would be able to buy our two kids and my husband gifts for Christmas. I want to do that again this year; only I want to start now. My question is, should I tell my husband I’m doing this or just wait till it’s closer to Christmas?
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Don’t know why you wouldn’t tell him, why keep it a secret?
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This is a double edge sword of a question. If he is someone that is gonna persuade u to spend that money when “times are hard”, then no don’t tell him. But if he is gonna stress out and have more unnecessary caused stress and possibly more MH problems due to worrying about money for Christmas… Then tell him. Pros and cons.
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Why would this need to be a secret? It’s hard to say what you should do because I don’t know your situation and relationship but I would feel fine telling my husband.
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Does he get mad when you save? I’m confused this is something odd to just bring up out of no where.
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I’d buy a gift card every couple of paychecks and when the time comes spend whats on the cards or gift the cards themselves. If you find a deal along the way, score! Gift cards are a good way to insure you won’t spend it as cash.
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If he’s not good with money then no, if he is then of course maybe he can pitch in when he can 
I wouldn’t tell him. I mean, you can always tell him you wanted this to be a surprise.
Don’t tell if need money and gel spend it
I think it’s best when partners are on the same page financially. But if you think he might not be supportive and spend that money maybe keep it a secret for now
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I started buying gifts right after Christmas. I told my husband I was.
Husband and I always put money away from taxes for Christmas presents, kids and family…and also if we are traveling (we do 1 yr up north with his family, 1 her in Florida with mine where we live) it makes it so much easier when you know you have money put away and less stressful when time comes!
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Don’t tell any one your business
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I’m kind of confused with this post as well. Does he control the finances/money in the household - paying the bills, grocery shopping, etc. and keep tabs on everything that is spent/paid out? Is he a stickler about saving or spending when it’s not necessary or does he constantly worry about situations that may come up? No matter who the bread winner is in the household it shouldn’t be an issue to save a few dollars each paycheck if you have it to spare and I wouldn’t think it should be an issue to let your partner in on what you would like to do unless there is underlying reasons not stated.
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I would keep it a surprise…
Or you could buy stuff as it is on sale now and throughout year…
My husband has mental health issues as well and I tell him it’s a rainy day money or emergency money and if we dont use it doe that till December then its Christmas money. We used to have a money bear that you couldn’t see into or get anything out and would put in money for Christmas throughout the year.
Does your bank have a holiday account of some sort? I have $25 a paycheck put into an account so I have a good chunk of money come Christmas and i tell myself it can’t be withdrawn. I agree with Melanie. If he’s the persuasive type then you could tell him it can’t be withdrawn until closer to Christmas. I like the gift card idea too. Buy visa gift cards and hold on to them until closer to shopping time
Depends what hes like with money…if this was my partner and I, I’d be algood with him not telling me hes putting some away cause I’m as useless as tits on a bull with money, I’d only be pissed off if he was keeping it for something he knows I’d be pissed about like something stupid, not xmas/birthday presents or emergency funds etc
I do it every year start in jan
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Depends, are you worried he’s going to just go in and spend it all? I would tell him if it were me. I don’t believe in hiding things from your spouse (with the exception of their Christmas present or something)
He’s your husband why would you not tell him?
I wouldnt worry about it.
No need to say for Christmas but that you are saving money for a rainy day.
Sorry i dont get this im not married but wouldnt explain myself even if i was id never discuss what money i have or what im putting it away for or when aslong as my rent & bills are payed theirs food on the table for my children and a few bob aside for a rainey day. I was always told as a young girl every woman has run away money n if u cant disscuss saving for christmas for ur kids id sure as hell be running away
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I would be honest and tell him. It’s a partnership. It just seems “sneaky” for lack of a better word. It’s your husband, he should be aware of the finances. Also, would you like it if he did that to you? It could ruin your relationship. He could feel you don’t trust him.
Now… if your saving for a special gift for him, different story. Let him know after that you did it as a surprise for him. 
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I did this last year, I didn’t tell my hubby, not because I didn’t trust him(we both work full time). I just wanted to surprise him… and boy was he happily surprised at what I had saved for our boys Christmas! I’ve already started saving for this next Christmas too! I’ll probably tell him, it doesn’t need to be a secret, but I am proud of what I can save and take stress away from him during the holidays! If I have to spend some during the year, I can safely do that!
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Do not tell anyone what you are doing.
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My mum always said to have a rainy day fund 
xx
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If ur the only one bringing in the money than it shouldn’t concern him.
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Never lie or hide things. If you can lie about 1 thing you are lying about many.
It depends. Is he the type to take your money or manipulate you into spending it when you’re intending not to? If so yeah, never tell him.
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You can always start with buying a gift card every paycheck. It adds up quick. I would let him know thats something you want to do
Well what you can do is buy one or two presents every month, wrap them and put them up and away and by the end of the year, you’ll have a lot of presents for whomever you’re buying for. It’s a HUGE money saver! But I would just run it by him what you’re doing and I’m sure he’ll be okay with it. Another one is getting a $20 gift card per week and it’ll add up fast. Good luck!
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Put yourself in his position. Would you want to know?
I mean is there a reason you wouldn’t wanna tell him?
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Buy yourself a visa gift card every month and stash it away! Then you can use it around Christmas for the gifts!
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Just put it in a Christmas Club account or separate savings account, no need to tell anyone.
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My husband does not know the meaning of saving money so the only way I manage to have money out is just not tell him I have it. I don’t outright lie but I also don’t say hey… I’ve put a little bit of money up every week to save in case we need it.
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I think you should unless he’s the type like the others said he’d take that money & spend it all on other stuff. Would you like it if you were in his shoes if you have an open honest marriage?
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Just tell him now why wait? Am I missing something? … Like um… Are you afraid he’ll be mad? Bc if so… That’s a jerk. It’s good planning so yeah. Hmm.
Just put away a few dollars a month and Let It Go
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Okay first of all why do you feel the need to hide it
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Wait…if he knows the money is there may want to spend it
Don’t tell him until it’s time to shop. It’s saving money that’s the important part
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Why do you feel like you need to hide it from him? Would you want him to hide it from you if it was the other way around?
And 3rd what’s the problem with saving already lol I’ve already started shopping for my daughter’s birthday (November) and Christmas presents 
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Your income, your savings. So no.
I’d wait unless u know for a fact he wouldn’t try and use the $ for other stuff. My husband doesn’t know I’m already saving gift ideas in my Walmart cart for our son. I’m also adding birthday gift ideas for our son as well and his birthday isn’t until November… it’s better to save now if ur stable enough to do so
If he is gonna be supportive , then sure . But , if he is a poor money manager, I’d just put it away and not tell him . It’s a wise thing to be a saver .
Eh if you think he won’t think its money to just spend. I had an ex that would not save money worth anything and when I tried to and told him he would spend it. He always had plans with spending money. Money he didn’t even have in his pocket yet. But my spouse now would let me save. And I let him save. But I don’t see why you can put a few bucks back here and there for Christmas .
This is a hard one. I used to take singles and sometimes fives and put them away and didn’t tell my husband. I wasn’t hiding it. I was saving it for if/when we needed something and didn’t have the extra money. Diapers, take out, whatever.
If y’all have to hide finances y’all should not be together
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I pick up Christmas and birthday things though out the year, if you have extra money and see something that they would want why not, it saves a lot of money come Nov. and Dec. when it’s all most all your shopping is done, I would never be able to afford all the ones I have to buy for if I didn’t, my husband loves that I do this.
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Always pay your self first…no matter how much… even if it’s for them later…
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We have an extra bank account and we have it set so that every month, $75 is automatically transferred into that christmas account.
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Why does he need to know? It is not nefarious, get him something special
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I would wait i always do this even just with money in general i call it stash cash and certain stashes are for certain things i dont tell my so till its time to pull out and he loves my stash cash idea my spots have always changed too lol
It’s a savings plan - no need to let him know at this point. You are doing a good thing!!!
Id tell him you want to start saving for any emergencies or even christmas see what he says
Tell him now, then he understands budget restrictions
If everything is paid then no
If you feel like you need to hide saving money from your husband, then there’s bigger issues going on.
So I am an extreme saver compared to my husband but do not keep secrets about our finances. If I plan on saving money I tell him. Now I handle all our finances even though he brings in the pay check. I am just better with money and he knows and respects that.
If you can afford to save for anything (emergency, vacation, holidays, etc.) always do it and I don’t see an issue with keeping it to yourself.
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Shouldnt matter do what u want with ur money not like ur keeping it from him its good to save
Why not??? I mean I am a sahm, and I am already buying Christmas gifts with money my husband makes.
Just discuss it with him. If only one person is working it makes sense to start saving early. If he doesn’t agree then still sit small amounts aside. He’ll be fine
You must have a reason you think need to keep it a secret. Go with it
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I would say your entitled to have a savings he don’t know about. You always need something to fall back on that no one knows about.
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Would he save with you or want to send it?
I dont tell hubby about my accounts. He’s just happy we have stash as bkup
I think finances should always be open in a healthy marriage but it is good stash a little away for surprises!
Start saving now n keep track to prove to him that u know how to save.
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If he’s anything like my fella, he’d see savings and want to spend.
Upto you but id see it as a nice surprise at xmas time, but some couples tell eachother everything its hard to comment without knowing your relationship more.
Have fun saving!
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I’d wait to tell him unless there’s a serious need to tap into that money.
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Am I the only one that buys everything and husband doesn’t even know what we are getting the kids, him or myself for the matter till Christmas morning? 
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If you are afraid he will spend your savings do not tell him , it’s your money he doesn’t have to know
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Financial Peace University is an awesome program my husband and I went through! We have no secrets and are on the same page when it comes to money.
Just save don’t tell him surprise him
Put it to one side and surprise him close to Christmas on how much you have managed to save. At least then he won’t feel the need to stress come December on how your going to afford it all. I do this with my partner and he always thanks me in the long run. Hope it helps 
I save some of my income tax and put it to the side for Christmas. 
If I wouldn’t of done that we wouldn’t of had Christmas this year
Ive always done this. Not in the form of money but see good deals here and there, take advantage and store it away till Christmas or birthdays. I also might add there are lovely resources out there if you are this prepared you will surely find them. Nothing wrong with saving money, ever!
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Yup…you are the ONLY ONE…Christmas is a FAMILY thing…
.
If u want to be accused of lien and hiding things an break trust then go ahead .
Family money is family money .
Their is no just you an your choice in family
Most banks have a Santa or a Holiday fund. You can set it up and have them automatically take out money at each paycheck. Some banks have a penalty if you withdrawl earlier then Nov. But others do not have such penalty.
Personally, wait. When I save money I don’t tell a soul. That’s partly because I’m more tempted to spend it and plan things knowing I have it there for backup, and also because in the past when I’ve told someone I have it they either try to get into it or tell me they know I have it and need it for one thing or another.
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Wait - it’s a great idea!
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Definitely save the money for Christmas or not, time like this you must have a savings… you tell him or not you’re not doing anything wrong.
I’d not tell him so I could surprise him closer to Christmas! 
I do this to my husband all the time. Have savings he doesn’t know about and then when he’s like “oh I wish we could get this or that” I’m like “BOOM! WE CAN!” And its great. 
I’d tell your husband Yeah it would be nice to surprise him but you don’t want to make him feel like you were having to hide it from him but I definitely agree with starting now to save for Christmas
I see the whole not telling him and surprising him thing, but at the same time i see the him feeling betrayed and like you hid this major thing from him.
Im not sure, is he a pretty understanding guy? Would not telling him start a fight?
I dont know why you would keep it from your husband. That doesn’t sounds like a healthy relationship to me.
However why not save now for xmas if you are able to.
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Depends on his mental. State. Can you trust him not to think that money can be used for other things sometimes even if we want to be honest about a nest egg we can’t be. You obviously have your concerns about telling him for a reason. Hugs. You already know the answer to this question. It could be ok or it could be a scapegoat hugs
Start saving now. Tell him closer to christmas.
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Girl its smart. the earlier u start the better u feel, more u can afford to give, or give gifts that might cost more that they want. I shop all year around because I never know what I will find on sale that my hubby or kids ask 4 that’s usually 2 expensive 2 afford all at once. Holidays hit hard when it all comes out once. As 4 the telling him if u decide 2 do it I’d definatly tell him right away hiding money or expenses just leads 2 an unnecessary argument. Besides should an emergency arise the $ is there
It’s very common for people to start saving for Christmas in January, so i would just be honest. He could even join in
I mean, I tell my husband everything. Especially when it involves money. And I would expect him to do the same.
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Sounds pretty savvy to me. Would he not agree?
I just went ahead and did it while telling my husband I was doing it. We figure it’s better to do it now versus doing it later and then struggling around Christmas time
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I definitely would have the conversation with him. I would be a little upset if the roles were reversed and I wasn’t included
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there’s nothing wrong in telling your husband financial details however maybe down the line when at a point he may not be able to contribute financially he states since u have saved up the money u can use it to pay the bills instead. Also nothing is wrong with starting to save from now it just means you’ll have a good amount at hand at Christmas ( I have also started saving already so thats my thought)
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I’d wait, and keep saving, you never know what could happen
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