My mom and dad were married for 15 years. They divorced about 3 years ago… my dad started seeing someone a year after they divorced and recently she has moved in with us. (I’m in college and only come home every so often to stay with my dad) she’s great and we get along great and I love her to pieces and my mom and dad were NOT good together… I found out my mom and dad are still sleeping together. I was surprising my dad and coming home a little early and my mom and dad we’re screwing in the living room. Not only and I’m scarred for life. I feel like my step mom has a right to know as her and my dad are serious… is it just me? My dad is asking me not to tell her but I feel gross not saying anything… like I can’t believe he would do this. Help.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I tell my step mom my dad cheated on her with my mom?
This is awful situation for your parents to put you in. Your parents are supposed to teach you about morals trust and respect. I personally think you should tell her, she has the rights to know he isn’t being faithful. Yes your parents are gonna be mad at you but they are in the wrong not you and they need to act like adults and take responsibility for their actions xx
I’d tell your dad or mom that they have by a certain date to tell her and if they don’t then you will. That way you’re putting the responsibility on them and not going behind their backs if you do end up needing to be the one to tell her.
As a woman I’d want someone to tell me if my man ever stepped out. Father or no father I WOULD TELL !!! Also wouldn’t have a second though either because if he was a real father he would not have asked you to keep his dirty little secret.
Mind your business. As much as you love your dad’s new woman she is not your mom and if you have a good relationship w your mom I wouldn’t get involved. Let them work it out.
I’d tell him either he tells her or you will. It’s not right he’s doing that. It’s not your fault. It’s not fair to your stepmom either. So either he tells or you do.
Your dad is wrong for asking you not to say anything. If you truly care for her I would tell her. She deserves to make her own choice on how to proceed.
I would definitely tell her. She deserves to know. I know its a crappy situation to be in but your step mom sounds to be someone you deeply care about and she deserves to know.
I told my step dad when I caught my mom and her “friend” making out in my living room. Idc who it is, infidelity is never okay and there’s never an excuse for it.
This is a hard situation to be in but honestly
Yeah I would tell her
She deserves better
I’d tell her. From one person to another, she deserves to know. Don’t let her keep thinking all is well and good while the man she ‘loves’ doesn’t love her.
Do the fair and right thing.
I would definitely tell her. 1. It wasn’t right for your parents to put you in that situation in the first place. 2. You have to live with your dad and his girlfriend knowing what he did. Either way, it’s going to be awkward, but you shouldn’t be forced to live with the guilt of knowing and not saying anything. If your dad loves you, then he will forgive you.
I would straight up let ur father know you will be telling her if he doesn’t take the responsibility and let her know. He is supposed to be loving the woman he is with not cheating on her. If he doesn’t then I would definitely say something sooner rather than later. I would want to know. Your mom is just as bad as ur father unfortunately. They both know better and to put u in this situation is horrible and definitely not ok. I would be pissed at both of my parents. It would be different if neither in a relationship.
Oh, dear… let me tell you what. My husband and I would so do this if we got divorced. Expect your parents to end up back together sometime in the future too. They were together for 15+ years, love. They have an unbreakable bond. You don’t need to get involved. Stay out of it.
You need to let your dad know how you feel about his girlfriend and the situation. You should not be put in the middle and your dad shouldn’t be putting you in the middle. I would tell your dad he has a week to tell her or you will. It’s not fair to her to continue a relationship that is built on lies.
Let her find out on her own. If you tell you could end up jeopardizing your relationship with your dad. I would let it go. Just my opinion.
If it was me I’d want to know. I’d tell him either you tell her or I will. Most likely he will.
I would have to tell her (if you are close with her and care about her feelings) … .
That’s just shady behavior, and she definitely deserves betrer.
I would tell her. She deserves to know and hopefully you and her can keep a relationship through this
Tell her. You are right she deserves to know the truth.
The only way you’re not telling her is if he does first. He has till the end of the day.
I would tell her before it gets even more serious in their relationship. I’m sorry they’ve put you in this position & im sorry your dad is asking you to keep it a secret.
Yes you should tell her so she can continue her life with someone who is faithful.
I would tell my dad either I’m telling her or you are.
I wouldn’t say a word. If it continues she will find out eventually and you won’t have to be in the middle of it.
Tell ur dad the only way u won’t tell is if he quits that with your mom. Tell him you will start documenting proof and if you catch him again your telling her.
If you tell Her prepare to get your own place and be an adult because all hell will break loose
Shame on your dad.
Do not tell her.
This is not on you.
Choose your battles Allie’s and enemies wisely.
But no.
You do not betray family.
Mind ya business, sistah! What is done in the dark will come to light. You may end up alienating all three of them and almost assuredly losing your potential step mom. And who really cares anyway. Live your own life. Let the parents live theirs. Let it be, mama.
Hard as it might be, if you where the one getting cheated on you would want to know too. The right thing is definitely to tell her.
If you have a relationship with your stepmom the choice is yours and yours alone. He should’ve thought about that before he did this. Actions have consequences and it’s not your secret to keep if you don’t want it to be. If you feel like telling her, do it. You didn’t do anything wrong and would have nothing to tell if they could behave. Sounds like step-mom deserves better than this. And honestly, so do you.
I’d give him a ultimatum, either he tell her or I will. I won’t lie for anyone and looking her in the eye and pretending you are her friend and all is well is just as bad. She deserves to know just like if she was cheating on your Dad, he’d expect you to tell him. I’d let both parents know not to expect me to play favorites just because they are my parents because what’s wrong is wrong and I will not condone bad behavior period parents or not. They are acting like horn dogs instead of grown ups and that is sure not a proper display of role models for you.
If you found your step mother cheating on your dad, would your dad expect you to tell him?
I feel bad for you having to carry this. He’s put you in a really terrible situation.
I’d tell my dad (if it was me) that the only way I wont tell his girlfriend is If he comes clean to her (say I’ll give you this much time to tell X about the cheating) or I’ll tell her.
Your poor thing! Nobody should have to be put in the middle of this, esp coming from their own parents. I would honestly tell her. Also tell your parents that it was the adult thing to do. Esp if it continues
I think you need to stop speaking to all of them. Until they find a way to leave you out of it,you have to remove yourself from the line of fire. You can not win anyother way ,and by win ,i mean live peaceful ever again.
We know it wasnt the 1st …or last time him doing this …you just caught them once …too bad for your step mom for being in a relationship …yet still being the other woman:weary:she has every right to know so she can make her future and she can live her truth.
I would tell him the only way you’re not telling her if he grows a set and tells her himself. If not you will be having that conversation with her. If I was in her shoes I would want to know. And your parents should be teaching you about doing the right thing, respecting yourself and others. About honesty and trust. He shouldn’t be asking you to lie to someone, especially not on his behalf.
I would tell her she deserves to know it’s so disrespectful on both parents to do her luck that
I was in high school when I discovered my father cheating on my mother… I ended up telling my older sister and she told my mom… I don’t regret telling, even though it ended in a divorce… Honestly, if I were your fathers girlfriend I would want to know …
I would tell her She will thank you . I know if I was in that situation I would wanna know .
Y’all can still be close . You’re parents may be mad at you but they need to grow up .!!! And act like adults .!!!
Tell her… Your parents are totally wrong And neither of them have respect for your stepmom I would tell her so she could get out of the situation she’s in.
Absolutely!!! She deserves to be able to make a decision about her future. She could find someone who truly loves and values her instead of wasting years on a cheater.
I would tell, I know those are your parents but that’s so wrong . I’m so sorry you had to see that and now your step mom is going to be heartbroken. But do your step mom the favor and let her leave that toxicity… you can still see if she’s willing to have a relationship with you. But girl code says that you should definitely tell because her feelings are being messed with and she doesn’t deserve that… sending positive vibes.
Ugh that is rough!!! I would feel conflicted. But she definitely deserves to know. That’s not fair at all!
Where’s the loyalty at? That’s ur dad and furthermore ur parents! Not ur place to say a thing! Just stay at college for awhile and let ur dad sort out his love life. Wow crazy situation man!
I’d let him know either he’s gna tell her and be a man about it, or I’m gna tell her myself.
Your dad’s not serious with your step mum . He has all his needs fulfilled with two woman and now he is asking you to keep secrets from his partner . Tell her and if she moves out go with her sounds like she is better than the parents you have .
She deserves to know. And if you have a good relationship with her the trust that you’ll be honest is already there
Stay away I would say . Otherwise you will be stuck on the middle with ruined relationships .
Truth always comes out
Cheating is never okay. She deserves to know , tell him either he tells her or u will, I would want to know if it was me. Feel so sorry for you to!
I would tell her. No one deserves to be cheated on. And shame on your dad and your mom. They both and hurting you step mom. Your mother SHOULD know better and have more respect. She wouldn’t be to happy if the roles were reversed
They are all adults and should know better, they should have not put you in this situation.
I will definitely tell her, she deserves to know that he is just wasting her time
I don’t know … tough situation. I think I’d have a heart to heart with dad and let him know if he doesn’t come clean to the stepmom, you feel like you need to … out of respect for her.
Honestly, she deserves better. So do you.
Bless your heart. Honestly, have a talk with them both and tell them it’s time to fess up because the load is entirely too heavy for you to hold
If you love and respect her as much as you day you do, tell her. She deserves to know and to not waste any more time with this.
I would want to know… your parents are GROWN adults. They know from right or wrong. If you and step mom has a great relationship I think she would be very hurt if she found out you knew and didn’t tell her. Your dad had no right to ask you to keep it a secret. He asked because he knows he will never tell her the truth therefore save yourself the anxiety of knowing and just tell step mom. If your parents get mad at you that’s their own fault. They shouldn’t be doing it anyways if dad is in another relationship.
You need a new car? Just kidding! It’s not your relationship or right to tell her. Force the issue with dad to make him tell her with you nearby to hear it. Keep in mind mom and dad could cut you off financially if they are helping you out.
Secrets eat away at people, I would tell your Dad he had to tell her or you will!!! The daughter is being betrayed too and it is a terrible example for her parents to be teaching her you could also seek counselling to help you work through it
Give them a date, a week to tell her if not you will. Dont let their dishonesty be who you are. Your better than that and that voice you hear telling you this is wrong, listen to it. Your step mom deserves the truth like every person on this world deserves that respect.
Tell him to tell her and if he don’t then u will .it’s his responsibility to tell and if he don’t do it then u tell but either way she needs to know it’s wrong and he needs to be single and get his life together .he is hurting ppl and that’s not right at all .
Coming from being cheated on in my marriage if she isn’t ready to hear it it’s going to be pointless and she will say u made it up bc u don’t like her and ur parents can lie their way out it honestly leave it be the truth always comes out sooner or later and at the end of day no matter how old u r u r their child and its not ur problem and definitely none of ur business
I would tell her, its morally wrong and the other woman deserves the truth and to not live a lie, find someone who is loyal to her. Plus isn’t fair you’ve got to keep that secret it’ll weigh heavy on you as you know its morally wrong too.
I would sit down with your parents and tell them that they are putting you in an awkward and uncomfortable position. Ask them to relieve this burden from you by telling your stepmom what happened. They can’t have expected to get away with this forever, and it’s unfair for you to be stuck with the lie. I’d give them a week to come clean before you decide to reveal the truth.
Well for one thing, it’s their business, not really yours. Granted, asking you not to tell kinda makes it your business but still. Give him a chance to tell the new woman himself. Do him that solid and stay out of it. Secrets will always find a way to reveal themselves. Karma can sort it out.
Your dad is in the wrong and ur step mom has every right to know that he isn’t being truthful with their relationship!!
I would defiantly tell the step mom She deserves to know and even more so since there relationship is serious.
I’d tell them they put you in a bad situation. Their marriage didn’t work before and though you love them both you also love your step mother. Tell them to fix it now. Stay away for a while
He should of NEVER asked you to keep that secret for him. That’s not for you to do. That’s his responsibility. If he didn’t want caught then he should be more careful. I’d tell her
First of all, I’m so sorry that you’re in this position…it’s a crappy spot to be in. I’d tell her though. You’re under no obligation to lie for your dad & your step mom deserves better. Hope this all works out for you.
I would stay out of it thats your parents business as an old phrase goes don’t burns candles at both ends eventually your get burnt.
I remember my Mom having what I suspect to be an affair on my Dad. He did his fair share of infidelity on her too growing up. He just did it away from me. The man’s house that we went to lived on the same street as us. I was told not to even look in that direction as I was riding down the road with my Granny. I kept it a secret. I don’t really regret it. They ended up divorcing when I was 17, and no one can put me in the middle of their fate.
I would stay allllll the way out of that mess. I did not see not one thing. It will come to light anyway. Your relationship with all 3 will be strained if you step in the middle of that.
I would tell your dad that either he tells her or you will. She has a right to know. If your parents can’t get themselves figured out she shouldn’t be dragged into the middle of it. It’s not right. I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle but it’s not your fault.
I’d definitely tell her! I’m so sorry your in this type of situation
I’d leave the tattle-tailing to them!! It’s their shituation. Give them ___ days to tell her or , your moral compass takes over. And…EEWWW, so sorry you had to see that
You’re in an uncomfortable situation, but telling your step mom is the right thing to do. Think about it this way: if you were in that situation, you’d want to know. It’s not right of your dad to ask you to keep the secret. It’s not your responsibility and that weight shouldn’t fall on you.
He needs to confront your step.mom and tell her whats been done, thats an uncomfortable position for you to be. In and your parent shoudnt put their kid thru that, thats what i would tell him
All three parents are in compromised mental health.
You all need and deserve the help of a family mental health specialist…Please reach out to your Pediatrician or Mental Health Clinic for support. Godspeed.
You should tell her she has the right to know. Don’t let her find out on her own trust me it will b worse.
The fact is if she’s not ready to hear it, if she hasn’t had a hint she probably isn’t going to believe you. Then if Dad denies it now you are the very bad person. If you are financially dependent on either of your parents you need to tread lightly. You could end up out in the cold on your own. You need to talk to your parents and say hey you’re my parents you’re supposed to be teaching me right from wrong and morals so stand up and do what’s right.
My dad cheated on my stepmom and I found out and I told on him right away. He was mad at first and he told my stepmom that she made me hate him (not true, I didn’t even hate him nor do I still), but eventually they got over it and worked through it and my dad died a few years ago and I still don’t regret snitching. I don’t like cheaters idc who you are.
I would give him the ultimatum of either he tells her his self or you tell her.
Cheating is wrong… It doesn’t matter if it’s with your ex wife it’s STILL wrong!!
Girl, I would definitely take my advice and give him the ultimatum
You’re a good person to tell her playing with someone’s Heartstrings someone can get hurt very badly
I would tell your parents “would you want my daughter to lie to me if my husband her dad was screwing another woman?” Turn it around as if you were in your step moms shoes and how they would react if your husband asked your kid to lie. Bet they’ll think about it again. Tell them it’s wrong for you to keep that secret and they need to come clean and if not then I would tell her. That is So messed up and I bet they’re thinking you won’t say a word because “what child doesn’t want their parents back together”
Well. What type of relationship you got with your parents? Because you’re about to throw a bomb in it. But… Put yourself in step moms shoes? Would you like to know? Personally yes !! Somebody better tell me and not just let me get fooled. And personally in your shoes I would definitely throw the truth like it’s a live grenade lol
I’d tell her that’s wrong of your father asking you to keep his secret, please update to let us know what happens
She definitely deserves to know
Been there. I simply minded my own business. What other grown adults do isn’t my business.
I’d give him an ultimatum. Either he tells her or you’re going to. It’s not fair to your step mom and it’s not fair of him to ask you to keep that secret, either. It’s already affecting your conscience.
Betray your dad?
They’re adults, let them figure that mess out.
I mean you tell her and potentially ruin your relationship with your dad but honestly I would wanna know so…
Honestly, my loyalty would be lie my dad. He’s a grown man and that is between them. Is it wrong? Absolutely.
I would tell her. She will find out one day and she’ll find out that you knew about it the whole time and that’ll be awful.
Tell your dad he has a chance to tell her in a certain amount of days before you tell her .
Tell your step mom in complete private & ask her not to say that you’re the one who told her.
It may or may not work, but maybe she could put a camera in the living room bc she “suspected” something was happening & then caught it. You wouldn’t be in the faulty for that. what a sticky situation.
Oh boy,what a serious situation to be put in…the truth will always come out…and if you protect your dad’s lies. It’s saying it’s okay for him to do it and he’ll get away with even more times. If you do say something, I would let her down gently and let her know you couldn’t live with the guilt of keeping this a secret, knowing it’s not right of him to do. Keeping it a secret though, would make you no different than him…you really should tell her…its a terrible situation your in. But follow your morals, and don’t let your dad manipulate for you to keep this deceitful secret.
Talk to your dad have him tell her… not you
I’d tell him to tell her or you will. She has a right to know and for your parents to be putting you in this position instead of doing the right thing and telling his girlfriend is horrible. Give your dad the opportunity to tell her himself but if he doesn’t, definitely do the right thing.