Should I tell the other home daycare parents that their kids are being bit by the providers dog? As a little background- My mother in law owns an in home daycare. My oldest child used to go there, but has been home with me the last two years. I take him and his sibling over for “preschool” and play time so that they get social interactions. The MIL has a border collie mix who is NOT good with kids. She growls, snips, and even bites the kids. I have spoken with my MIL several times about not allowing the dog in the same room with the kids if she is going to be aggressive and she insists on letting the dog in there because it’s “her house”. (The dogs) Today as I was getting ready to leave with my two children, the dog bit a 20 month old. Instead of comforting the child, she yelled at him for “kicking her” and told the dog that she wasn’t in trouble! (The child was on the ground flailing his arms and legs around when he got bit) I told her that it’s not okay for the dog to bite the kids, and she got defensive because the kids shouldn’t be hitting or kicking her. Which I agree, but if it’s a common problem for the dog to growl or bite the kids, the dog shouldn’t be in the same room with them! The argument got ugly because I was defending the kids and she would rather defend her dog, to the point where she kicked me out. Meanwhile, the entire time we argued back and forth about how she is being negligent and not protecting the children, she has yet to comfort the child or even ask if he was okay, so I did. I have witnessed the dog bite or snip several times, and every day that I am there she has either growled, barked or snipped at a child. She also neglects to tell the parents that their child has been bitten by her dog. My MIL has sent out text messages to all the parents in a group chat about other things, so I do have the other parents phone numbers. I’m conflicted about informing the parents that their child was bitten by her dog because I don’t want to mess with her business, but at the same time, I’d want to know if my child was being hurt by my daycare providers dog. I love my MIL very much, and I don’t want to jeopardize her business and livelihood. But she can’t see that having her child aggressive dog around the kids is wrong, and that all it would take is one parent to notice a dog bite and it could completely destroy her business anyway. So do I tell the other daycare parents about the dog being aggressive with the children and risk further destroying my relationship with my MIL or not? What would you do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I tell the daycare parents their providers dog snips at their kids?
I would. I’d be furious if another parent knew my kid had been hurt and I wasn’t told… Imo bystanding is as guilty as the perpetrator.
Oh yes you have to! What if a Child died After beding attacked or serious injuries. Its a matter of time before this wille happen! You cant look at yourself if that happens! So yes! SPEAK UP!
Report it. Isn’t cool and if someone’s baby gets mauled you’ll be to blame as well bc you didn’t say anything. Stop taking your kids over there. Border collies are normally very good pets so this animal is a result of her BS.
This is the dumbest inquiry. I’d be reporting to authorities. Children get seriously mauled or even die. Of course you should say something!!
Yes because I don’t believe the day care provider is going to be honest with the parents and as a parent i would want to know where the marks are coming from so I can make a decision of what I would do next which would be taking my child out of their care because yes that’s the daycare providers home but that provider has to make their home safe and she’s not creating a safe environment for my child.
Yes 1000000% tell the other parents and even whatever government board is in charge of daycares. Fuck her.
Parents need to know … … you are as guilty as your mother in law …
Tell them! You’re worried about messing with her money but what about the kids! There shouldn’t be a question about telling the parents
Okay, I didn’t even read all of this because it’s bullshit! You already know what the right thing to do is here! “If it were my kids I’d want to know….” Yeah no shit! So do they! If your MIL cannot property care for the children she doesn’t need a business doing so.
If I were one of these parents and you didn’t say anything until the dog did some real damage and I found out about id kick your MIL ass AND yours for allowing it to happen.
Parents haven’t noticed marks of dog bites on their kids? Something doesn’t sound right.
Immediately. And they need to be reported to the Department of human services or whoever investigates child abuse where you live. You are obligated
Poor kids…absolutely the parents should know! I’d be livid and she should be reported as well
Honestly I would !! Or contact whoever manages licenses and have them investigate.
My kids are not around dogs for this reason.
I got bit when I was a child by the “best family dog”
Look up children after a dog attack!
If she wants the dog the dog can be in a separate room not used for day care. Or crated while kids are out.
Yes absolutely as a parent I’d want to know. You trust this person to life and care and protect your child as you would and finding out they aren’t. I’d actually remove my kids from a home where they were potentially getting bit by a dog and it even cared abojtn
Tell them. Border collies are herders. Sometimes they tend to try and herd kids as well and nip like they would do sheep or whatever other animal they’re herding.
That’s absolutely unacceptable. Is she registered with the state as a home daycare? I would be furious if I was a parent. Since she sees no issue you could call animal control to report the bite, call the state, and parents definitely need to be informed. Her dog should not be near any of the children in daycare. It shouldn’t be around anyone other than her since she has a bite history. She so should definitely check her business and personal insurance to make sure dog bites are covered…most companies will not cover a dog with a bite history though. She is facing a legal nightmare and a ticking time bomb going on like this. Also you have a legal obligation qnd DUTY to report this abuse.
You need to report that to some one
I would call animal control and explain it all to them. I think they would take care of it. It’s the dog or her business. Those babies don’t need to be around that. ￼
If you had to write this I’m pretty sure you know what you have to do.
Report it !!! The dog could kill a child how would you feel if that happened and you had known you could have prevented it
Yesss tell them. I definitely would want to know.
I’d be singing it from the rooftops…
Why wait til a child’s face gets ripped off and they are scarred for life. And it’s doesn’t sound like she should be in charge of children!!!
Are the parents not seeing the marks??
Have someone come audit her. Report it to whomever you are supposed to. Also, i would tell the parents. It isnt right and it is seriously going to hurt a child. Do something before it is too late!
Yes absolutely you need to tell them
“But at the same time, I’d want to know if my child was being hurt by my daycare providers dog”. You just answered your question right there. Shame on her for allowing her dog in there knowing he has snipped or bitten a child
I would give her the opportunity to tell the parents and change the environment ASAP. If she refuses then I would tell the parents 100% and let her know you are telling them. The longer you wait the worse it will be for both of you IMO
1000% I would tell the other parents. I would be absolutely FURIOUS if that was my child crying on the floor after getting bit and not being comforted/checked out to make sure he is okay. AND I would be even more livid if the provider did not immediately inform me of what happened!
OR - if you are on the fence about telling the parents, you could try one last attempt at confronting your MIL and tell her straight up, like listen, I am giving you 24 hours to send out a text and tell these other parents about your dog AND make arrangements during the day for your dog to be in a separate room from the children or I will be sending out my own text thread telling them myself. If she refuses, then make that call/text to them.
She could get shut down immediately or have animal control at her door and/or DCF called on her for that. Or god forbid that dog just has had enough one day and snaps & seriously injures/attacks a child. It’s a lawsuit waiting to happen so really you’d be protecting her and her dog as well as these other kids by confronting this.
Ask yourself if you would want to know! As a parent your first concern should be for the safety of those children. It wouldn’t even be a thought for me especially since you addressed her yourself and get nowhere
Report her so she can’t watch kids anymore and tell the parents. These children shouldn’t be there.
You need to report her! This is neglect and dangerous behavior. If she’s more concerned about her dog than children she shouldn’t be watching children. Her neglect is going to get her dog put down and possibly seriously hurt kids. By not reporting it you are complacent in the neglect.
I would especially because she blamed a one year old for an aggressive dog biting them that shouldn’t even be around and tbh those parents can sue tf out of her so I would let her know that and it doesn’t matter if the kid kicked the dog if a kid gets bit bad which is just waiting to happen it’s her ASS and she will likely get in trouble for also running illegal daycare
idt having any animal in a at home childcare is ok at all. id tell them id also call cps.
Tell them. I’d be super pissed if it happened and she didn’t tell me. That’s not how you run a daycare. Those parents are trusting this women to care for and protect their kids while in her care and obviously she isn’t doing that.
I would honestly report her. She’s not fit to watch kids.
That is an unsafe environment for these children. She is an unfit caretaker to be allowing her dog around the children. If it were my kid I would want to know. If she is licensed through the state she should be reported.￼
u definitely should tell them!! my kids r in daycare and id be so pissed off if nobody told me my child was bit or being bitten or hell even being around an aggressive animal… shes got a problem and maybe shouldnt run a daycare for children shit she seems to care more for her dog so y dont she run a dog daycare… i would tell the parents asap
You need to report this to the state.
Report her asap before some kids gets hurt really bad.
Tell them! Oh my lord.
Thank you for fighting for the kids. Call CPS she doesn’t need to be in business at all. I’d completely f her and her dog up if her dog bit my baby. I’m mad about this😡 can you give me her address?
Yes. Yes. Yes. Tell the other parents. I would also inform your husband that you will be telling the other parents. (Since that’s his mom- you don’t want her to tell him that you talked to the other parents or he may feel that you were hiding it from him)
What does she tell the parent happened? I’m guessing if the dog bit the child there is a mark.
Oh C’mon! This is a No Brainer…If She’s running a daycare then what she’s allowing is illegal! How can she even question or argue this! Not only should you protect those kids and tell their parents but if this is True then you should Report her so she can be shut down! Wow🤔
Tell them !! If it was my kid she would get something not so fun up her butt .
Your lucky I don’t know your name, I’d be calling on both of you. You for allowing this to go on for years it seems like and for her not informing parents about her bitch dog. Your allowing this to happen to innocent kids just cause you don’t want to jeopardize your “relationship” with her. Screw that if my kids were snipped at by that thing she wouldn’t be allowed near my kids if she chooses to keep the dog as her baby.
Yes, you need to tell the parents.
Those are someone’s babies.
And if she is neglecting care for the children (which clearly she is!!) she has no business running a daycare.
Maybe she could run a doggy daycare instead.
If I found out my child was bitten by a dog, or hurt in any way period, in her care and I was never informed I would be beyond L I V I D. That is not okay. Collies are herders - so it could be the natural instinct coming out in the dog with multiple small kids around. BUT, that being said, still not acceptable in the slightest. Do the other parents even know that the dog is out freely around the kids while they’re in her care?
Are there marks on these kids? Have parents asked questions as to the marks if there are any? I would’ve already reported her IF the situation is really as you’ve described it!! Can you answer any of our questions on this?
Oh god this makes me rage
You can report something anonymously. But I would definitely report it. Someone’s going to get hurt beyond repair.
This is not right!! If my child got bit and I didn’t find out until later, I’d be sueing her! It’s not acceptable!!
You absolutely need to report this, not to the parents but to the authorities. That is so unbelievably dangerous! Has the dog drawn blood?
What happens when the dog bites a kid in the face? I would say something to the parents if not the state! It is always hard with family but those kids need to not be endangered by a unstable dog. You have done your best trying to tell your mother in law and she won’t do anything. Time to take the next steps regardless of sue is family.
That’s child abuse, if you don’t report it then your basically covering for her.
She’s putting the dog in a situation to fail and be euthanized. Report, get the dog out of her control, and never allow children around her.
Yes. Tell them. She’ll get over it. If she was so worried about her business she wouldn’t let it happen.
Tell the parents. Someday that dog is really gonna hurt one of those kids bad. She won’t be able to hide it them but if you can do something before thst happens by all means, do it.
Please tell the parents. That dog could kill a poor child. That woman is being so irresponsible to those babies and the dog. I’d report it to cps or something along those lines as well. She doesn’t deserve to watch those babies. She obviously doesn’t care about them like she should.
I would never keep Border Collies around my kids, they are herd animals that are bred to herd and even nip at the animals they are herding. When they don’t have proper stimulation they can most definitely act out and become aggressive. People that keep these kind of animals in homes that lack land and proper stimulation only disservice these types of breeds. Her business or not I think you should try to inform parents and honestly as a parent myself I would not even choose a daycare that has this specific breed in a residential type of neighborhood, if she lived on a Farm it might be different but I would still want the dog kept away from kids especially small kids. I’ve seen the same behaviors in Lassie dogs kept in residential neighborhoods.
Honey you can do this all annon. No one has to know its you. You need to record a conversation first. Of you and her fighting over the dog biting a child with actual proof.
Then you call animal control you give a false name and number so if she obtains the public paper on who called it doesnt come back on you.
Then there is a license hanging up some place in her home with someone from the state who has approved her you get there info and from a fake email you send that video.
Then you send in a group chat that video to all moms saying daycare provider with your kids from your number or a fake one texting app and its all taken care of.
If you dont want them to know its you there are ways.
Tell the parents or and report her to CPS that is unsafe for the children
Definitely inform the other parents
Umm yes fcking say something before a child is seriously injured
Yes 100% tell her before something horrible happens to a young child and you have that guilt.
If a child gets bit and the parent finds out and sues her she’s in worse trouble than just losing her livelihood, she can lose her house all together. Explain to her the dog needs to be somewhere else while daycare is going. It’s not the dogs house as she put it but the grown ass woman’s. If she doesn’t want to train her dog (at this point it might not ever be OK with children) she needs to figure out if she wants the dog around or the money for the kids because she can’t have both.
My first thought was…
Somehow I doubt the dog is biting or even nipping the children.
A nip would leave a red mark, a welt or a bruise, ranging from minor, barely noticeable to major, very obvious.
An actual bite breaks the skin.
How does a child come home from daycare with red marks, bruises, and welts from a nip or a dog bite without the parents not noticing?
How could one’s child come home from daycare with any injury, minor or major, and the parents not ask for an explanation?
The dog should not be in the same room as the children.
However, before informing anyone, I would warn MIL that I would be contacting the other parents to inform them of my observations if I ever see the dog in the same room as the children.
I would then make it a point to drop by unannounced.
And I would say why.
No need to be sneaky about it. Lay it all in the table.
You need to say something if that was your kid and got bit and sent to the hospital guess what now your kid is going to need stitches or something and she doesn’t acknowledge if the dog did anything wrong someone the dog can bite the child in the face and cause damage your only part of the problem if you don’t say anything to the other parents and your allowing it
If the dog broke the skin of the child legally it will be put down
Just gonna go ahead and add this to the list of reasons why people don’t watch my kids. Yes you should definitely tell the other parents this is happening. If your MIL is willing to put the child’s safety at risk then she shouldn’t be allowed to have responsibility of anyones kids.
Yes, because you should put the health & safety of children above everyone else, always, no matter what. Maybe give your husband a heads up before doing so just out of respect because I’m sure it’s going to cause some drama.
Tell the parents…1st off tell her either put the dog someplace no children are or you are going to tell the kids patents…at least you gave her a chance to correct the problem…
I quit reading at “she yelled at him”. It sounds like your MIL doesn’t need children or dogs around her. If she’s brazen enough to kick you out and yell at a baby in your presence, I can’t imagine what she’s doing without any witnesses. I’d have her whole business shut down
Tell the parents. If my sons daycare had a dog around my kid that was a known risk I’d be livid. The dog shouldn’t be in the same room as the kids period. The dog can be cut off from one room during hours when the kids are there and be fine. She’s going to end up getting sued and possibly hit with charges and fines if a kid gets seriously injured or worse by that dog.
Tell them. Her consequence to her choice
I’m sorry how is this a rational question why would you not?
Report the dog! Eventually that dog is going to bite hard enough to seriously hurt a child. Your MIL isn’t protecting her dog or the children she is responsible for by not putting the dog away while she’s got children in the house. If anything I would make the argument that by NOT keeping the dog away from the children that she is being a horrible dog owner. She is placing her dog in a situation where she could and already has bitten. Which could end up in her being mandated to euthanize the dog should a parent feel upset enough to go that far.
Yep. You should. And turn her in for running an unsafe daycare. This shouldn’t even be a question.
Tell the parents, what if the dog bites one of the kids to hard and has a parent you would want to know, and she didn’t comfort the child f her ass, doesn’t matter If the child kicked the dog, that dog shouldn’t be around kids, I would of kicked her ass
That dog was be 6ft under
So these children are going home with dog bites, and no one notices? Don’t buy the story. But whatever
Absolutely tell them!!! Before a kid gets seriously injured!!!
So let’s see if iam understanding this .you don’t want to put your already strain relationship or your MIL business at risk but it is ok to put a young child at risk of a severe dog attack…if a child is bitten that makes you just as guilty because you knew and didn’t do anything about it…
I would tell her to either keep the dog away from the children or you’re reporting her to the parents as well as any other agencies that oversee her.
I have 3 kids. I would want to know. The parents could at least keep a lookout for unknown marks on their children.
Can you live with it if the dog decides to really give a good bite that requires stitches to a childs face. In my opinion by you not saying anything can make you an accessory to it. It’s going to end bad, so far it’s just nips it will be bites soon enough. Can you live with it when you could have prevented it. Worring about her livleyhood will mean nothing when she is charged with negligence and the dog gets put down.
Yes tell them. Your mother in law shouldn’t be “yelling” at the kids either. She sounds horrible and I wouldn’t want her watching my kids.
Tell the parents you shouldnt even be posting for advice its a no brainer
No, something needs to be said before that dog kills a child/baby.
I grew up with a dog he never went over growling at us kids if we didn’t leave him alone but, he had his body language (like he would move away from use kids) the growling was the last warning and we were a lot older than babies.
Tell them. I dont blame the dog. And I dont blame the kids. She should not have them together. Honestly if I were running a daycare I wouldn’t even let my dog around the kids and he loves children and is gentle regardless of if a kid were to do anything. But things happen, whether it be to the dog or the child. Not my child, dog shouldn’t be around them if another adult isn’t there to help control if a situation occurred
I would definitely be saying something before this dog really hurts a child. Don’t have that burden on your shoulders. It’s kind of a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation. If it were me, I would definitely be telling the other parents. If you can, on your next visit, get a recording of the dog and how he acts so you don’t sound like you’re over exaggerating.
Absolutely. She’s being grossly negligent with people children. I can’t imagine that the licensing board or her property insurance would take too kindly to get having a dog around the kids at all… Much less an aggressive doc.
I agree, tell the parents, call licensing and report the dog. You never know if something will trigger the dog to be more aggressive and seriously hurt a child. I have seen the most gentle dogs turn aggressive in a second. These parents trust their children’s care with your MIL. Their kids are in danger and they have the right to know. On the other hand, are you giving us the entire story or are you just mad at your MiL for some reason, because as a parent, even at 10, I check my son every day to see if he has bruises or anything on him after school. I would think parents would see dog bites on their kids.
Call CPS anonymously, I know that you said that you didn’t want to ruin her business but if this is the 1st time they’ve heard of this and/or they’ve been called on her, chances are she’d probably just get a warning about sperating them and be under investigation to make sure that it doesn’t happen again
I would tell the other parents but she will figure it out when she has to put her dog down and or get sued!
YES!! ABSOLUTELY You shouldn’t even hesitate!
Tell them! My daughter got bit at a in home daycare & required stitches and surgery to her face