I think you need to discuss this with you psychiatrist. It would be in yours and your sons best interest to get to the root of what’s causing this anxiety so you can start to heal. As a mom who struggles with mental health I get where you’re coming from and I’m so proud of for trying to do what’s best for your son. First you need to get this handled though. You’ve come a long way so you can do this!!
Maybe you could do a painting plan where you have him Wednesday evening to Saturday evening or Sunday morning and dad has him Sunday to Wednesday morning. That way you will have more envolvement but still some down time to focus on tour own mental health
Trying the weekend first then move forward from there…and figure out what set you off in the first place. Btw go you for seeking help and doing what’s best for him and you both…not many have that type of courage Mental health is hard when you’re not aware 
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Doesn’t sound like you’re ready quite yet. Continue healing and while you’re doing so just try to get him more often… tell his Father that if he is not going to be with your Son, then you want him to bring him to you… you are the Mother and should be first in line any time that child needs someone and Dad isnt available.
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Maybe start by having him all weekend and see if the dad will let u have him on holidays he has to work…plus more time during the summer. Not a good idea to go from 1 day a week to full time right off the bat.
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Buckle up! You’re Mom.
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I commend you for not just reacting and recognizing that you are probably not quite ready yet. I would ask for more time at first. You don’t need to just in with both feet immediately. Just request more days. Best of both worlds.
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You have to make sure you are in a good place first before you can give more; it will put additional mental pressure on yourself taking on more if you’re not fully ready. Which would defeat your goal of wanting him back. Keep up with therapy, if you feel up to it, see him more often and see how that goes; you already put that Saturday was hard on you. Take it one day at a time and see how it goes.
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If you’re already feeling overwhelmed just by thinking about him coming to live with you full time. Maybe you should just try Friday and Saturday night instead of just Friday night. Make sure you talk to your therapist about it also. There’s nothing wrong with healing yourself so you can be a great full-time mom. I hope everything turns out okay for you and your son. You’re putting him first right now even though he’s not with you all the time. And to me that says you’re a great mom.
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First off, you seem like an awesome person for getting your life back together and caring so much about your child. You are definitely trying and that is amazing. I would say though if you are still struggling with anxiety, it wouldn’t hurt to be on medication. I have never been suicidal but I’ve been depressed and anxious plenty of times. I take antidepressants which help my anxiety and I also use cbd patches that help with my anxiety when I’m in stressful situations. I would suggest little steps at a time to help everyone adjust and maybe you can get more and more custody back. Always keep working to a healthier you. You are never going to completely heal
So you can’t just “get” custody back. You actually have to go to court and file for custody BUT a judge will look at your mental health. You still don’t sound stable enough to have custody of a young child. Sorry just being honest. He’s not “alone” as there are several other people living in the house. My 6 yr old son is an only child so he plays by himself at home. There’s nothing wrong with that. As for dad working on Easter are you paying Child support? If not then don’t complain when dad works. Dad has been taking care of his son for a yr now without your help.
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First of all well done for putting ur son first !! That is such a brave and honestly hardest thing to do give him over to make urself well again . If ur not sure ur ready then honestly ur Proberly not but maybe u could have him an extra night and/ or take him out and extra day or two so u know if ur having abit more input he would be less alone (hope that makes sense ) so ur not putting to much pressure on urself but ur helping further with him hopefully that could be an option xx u don’t want to rush in and like you say relapse and cause upheaval for him or urself x good luck I hope it works out for you guys xx
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How about one week on one week off. See how you and he do. Graduate from there.
Leave him with his dad. My son was an only child for almost 8yrs and he was fine. Dad wasnt around much and I worked a lot. Just visit him more often if u can show him u love him. Doesn’t make sense to take him away from dad if you aren’t fully confident you are ok. Best of luck!
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One step at a time. One day at a time. Start by spending as much time as possible with him. Go home when you start feeling stressed. Increase your time little by little. That way you’re both OK
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No you shouldn’t you don’t sound ready to be a full time parent don’t take this the wrong way but if u question urself and get anxiety around him than no u should definitely not try to get custody. Also the courts and his father will look to see if u can control ur emotions enough to be a parent because kids remember things at that age
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I would say leave it like it is. Just plan ahead for special occasions and holidays to make plans of his father doesn’t have plans. He doesn’t have to be constantly occupied. But if holidays and special occasions are important to you to make memories just plan for those.
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I would ask for more visits with your psychiatrist and therapy visits with a therapist to work on your nervousness with your son. You don’t want to get him back and then relapse. Work on your mental health first. In the meantime spend what time you can with your son. Communicate with him through phone calls and send him cards and stuff so he knows you’re thinking of him. Wait till you feel more relaxed and confident with your son. Then ask for joint custody. Where he will be with you part time. I would leave it at that so he’s comfortable.
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You clearly aren’t ready to have him back full time. Keep working on you. If you feel your son is safe at his dads but are worried about him being alone talk to the father about that. There’s nothing wrong with you taking care of you. Little steps towards the things you want. Big hugs.
No. Leave him be. It’s just fine that he spends time alone. It’s not going to hurt him. If you don’t pay child support, you can’t get upset when dad has to work. Plus it doesn’t sound like you’re mentally ready enough to have him back in your home. I doubt any judge will give you custody tbh. Not because you’re not trying but because it’s just not enough to raise a kid. He’s been in the home with his dad for a little while and I think at this point it’s best to not change things up on him again. If you want, maybe just try to visit more often and take him out to spend more time together.
I feel like you are so close to where you need to be…I would wait to out until you are 100% sure you can be the mom he needs.
You are doing great
If you have doubts, leave him with his dad.
Leave him with his dad. If you’re concerned about him being alone, talk to his dad and ask. He’s also 8. Ask him. By the sounds of it, you’re not ready to have him back with you. His home is with his dad. Leave it be and work on your mental state.
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This is the most realist and honest thing any parent could ever say. And it takes a lot of strength to do so. Parenting is hard. Really hard. I too suffer mental disabilities and at times I feel I can’t hack it too. The only one who can really answer this is you though. How ready are you. If you think you’re almost good enough I’d try it. But if you feel you still have a long way to go I’d wait. Just spend more time there with him if you can. Add more play dates. My son that lives with me full time enjoys being alone. So he might too. I’d ask him.
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If you don’t think your ready for full time, start with just one or two days. Every other weekend keep him Saturday night too. Or Sunday afternoons. Small steps to see if you are both ready. Increase the number of psych sessions you have to work through it. He is craving your attention because he didn’t get it for a time. Talk to his dad and see how he feels about trying a little more time, and if you’re all on the same page, try it out.
Maybe try for more nights over. Do little steps
Can you start by increasing the amount of time before going for full custody?
Most kids can understand more than you think about those problems. Talk to your counselor to determine your level of improvement, and how to discuss it with your son. Give him any warning signs of problems and he will let you know when he sees any developing.
Find out if there are any resources for therapy specific to your parenting anxiety. Ask your social worker if there are any parent child relationship classes or workshops you can do. Explain you want more custody to your worker but that you want to first have the tools and resources to cope with your parenting anxiety. Take steps to build your confidence as a mother first and then you will feel certain you can handle parenting more. Reach out to your social worker and doctors and get as much help and support as you need. The simple fact that you care enough to notice he may be lonely, and you want to take on more than you can quite handle shows your love for him. Take small steps each day, make the effort, do the work, and soon you will be ready to have more time/custody of your son.
I would make sure you can handle it both mentally and emotionally before you make that commitment to him. It’s important that you’re ok so you can continue to be there for him. Maybe take it slow and go visit him more often with shorter times?
Sometimes its more about self confidence than anything else. Youve struggled and now you’ve turned your life around its normal you’d want your child back but are scared you can’t cope.
Ask your therapist what they think then work towards seeing your son more often. Going out together. Playing at your house . Sleepovers…one night as now then when you’re ready to try increase that time slowly.
You have support if you can’t quite manage yet and your son has a safe place to be.
When you get your confidence back is the time to look at custody …maybe 50 /50 or one week with you one with Dad.
Youve done so well…congratulations
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Leave him with his father.
You should leave things as they are for the time being and just continue to see him as often as you can. Focus on getting yourself back in good mental health before making any big decisions
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Why not consider bumping up the amount of days he stays with you. Add a day to the week and then give it some time. When you feel comfortable add another day. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing right away and the slow addition of an extra day won’t hurt you or him. You can slowly work out a routine and schedule that works for everyone while he gets more interaction. You could also consider a hobby or sport and take on the responsibility of taking him to and from. It would give you another little window of time and let him socialize instead of being bored alone. Best of luck hun and kudos for admitting to yourself you need to take this slow!
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Having your child with you tends to change your life for the better. He would be better off with you rather than alone. I too suffer from the same thing you are going thru. Id have desires to leave this world so often but it was the thought of having my children around that helps. Spending time with your son creates the best memories you could possibly make. Not having him around both of you are missing out on what God originally intended.
Please, be with him. He needs you more than ever! 
I’m definitely in the same situation as you. I understand your fears and worries and hearts desires.
Its better to have you in his life than none at all. If you ever wana talk, we in the same boat. Reach out. Would love to chat.
First off I’m glad you made it, and I’m glad you’re doing the work. Keep going! As far as your son I would say take it slow. You can always request to see your psychiatrist more often to work on the feelings you have around your son. Talk to dad too about your concerns. Maybe you can work something else out. Does he do something with dad on Saturdays? If not maybe you can spend some time having play day or dinner there with him. Or maybe you can keep him until Sunday some weekends? Just a few ideas but I have no idea what the relationship between you dad and the rest of the family are. You can file for custody on the weekends, but I would take it a little bit at a time right now. Ask yourself can you really handle it? The last thing you want to do is get your son’s hopes up and fail or put yourself in a compromising mental state. He’s safe & he’s loved on all sides so there’s no need to rush. Give yourself time to heal to continue to be the best version of you for him.
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I would not jump from one night to full time if you have anxiety the one night hes there. Increase your time, get him over more. Spend holidays with him and try increase slowly.
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Hang tight mama. Keep up the regular visits. Have lots of fun and get yourself well. You’re important too and to be the best mum you can be, you need to be sure you’re fully healthy.
Try maybe getting him for a just week at a time to begin with and see how things go, and see if you can handle it. Then two weeks and so on.
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I’d give it a year. He’s safe and ok at Dads. Pay attention… which you obviously are… and fill in the blanks. Work on your healing… prayers mama♥️
Continue to focus on you. Heal yourself and when things get better then maybe
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If you see him three days a week, and overnight Friday, he is most certainly “not alone”. If you think you may have problems ask for an extended weekend, Thursday overnight, Friday overnight. Sunday to recuperate. If it’s not working out—you can adjust back to the way it was. You could also add an additional day during the week. Kids do not need to be entertained every waking moment of their day. Even if dad IS home, he’s not entertaining a child through his entirety. They need to know how to self satisfy, find things to do, even if it’s just a few chores, homework, video games, TV, or outdoor play…… “alone time” is important for him, as much as it is for you, grandma, grandpa, and your ex.
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If you think that you are still not fully prepared for having him back full time you can always spend more time with him , try to keep him for the whole weekend as a start, and you guys can get him a phone so you can call him to check on him every day
Put him in sports, after school programs, go over every afternoon, get try bring around him daily in his terms and slowly adapt yourself
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No you shouldn’t. If you have anxiety, and you’re afraid of relapsing, definitely not. You have to be 100% ready for the sake of you and your child
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Similar situation. My mental health has been used against me for years. I haven’t had any issues or hospitalizations in over 4 years and was told I’ll never get primary custody back. Only visitation.
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You seem to be I’m a good place with him and the father. Maybe wait until your more comfortable with everything or just ask to have him a little more.
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He’s not alone if there’s other adults in the house. Do you really think taking him out of a stable environment and staying with you admitting you’re still not mentally stable and feeling anxious when he’s around will be the best thing for him? Before making any huge changes, ease into it. Start spending more weekends with him. Ask to him on holidays that dad is working.
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You should leave things as they are until you are ready to have him more. Once you feel like you can have him more, take little baby steps by having him for longer periods of time to make sure you can handle it. It would be really hard for him if you took him full time, couldn’t handle it and had to send him back. He’s at that age where this may give him anxiety and a feeling of abandonment.
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He’s not alone if there’s other adults in the house. Do you really think taking him out of a stable environment and staying with you admitting you’re still not mentally stable and feeling anxious when he’s around will be the best thing for him? Before making any huge changes, ease into it. Start spending more weekends with him. Ask to him on holidays that dad is working.
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You are asking very good questions. It appears that you are not ready to have him back in your home as you possibly could relapse. I would make a point to visit him where he is at as many times a week as possible to avoid the loneliness he possibly is experiencing. Call him on the phone and reassure him of your love often. So until you are sure tht you can handle this boy,leave him where it is at.
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No judgement. You’ve acknowledged your son’s needs as well what you’re mentally going through. That shows a lot of growth. I’d say get more of a 50/50 custody.
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No, leave him be until you are certain you will not relapse. The fact you get anxiety still with his presence should be a red flag to yourself. Until your anxiety is managed then maybe try for an extra overnight but not until you no longer experience the anxiety with him around. I would not recommend back to back overnights. Maybe a second overnight every other weekend but manage your anxiety first
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See if you’re able to spend more time. Or maybe see if he can come to your place as a trial a little bit more. Don’t keep him over nights but do a day visit here and there. Have you talked to your counselor about this fear? No judgement whatsoever. I tip my hat to you actually because you realize the possible struggle and you’re not just jumping to it because of your kid alone. It sucks with him at his dads, but you’re there for him and doing amazing! I’d try to see about him just coming over more here and there (not stay the night) and gradually see how you can do with that. I have 6 kids. I can fully understand the anxiety part. Especially with my youngest 2 that I have.
You have to put your mental health first. It doesn’t mean for one second you’re a bad mother or don’t love your son. I applaud you for admitting, and facing your issues. Mental health can be extremely difficult to deal with. For the time being my advice to you would be to add holidays dad is working to your schedule. You seem to be doing part time by spending half the week with your son, even if it is at dad’s house. Don’t put yourself at risk and do anything that could possibly overwhelm you right now. Adding more time to your parenting schedule is building up to one day having him back. Remember if you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of him.
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Try having sleep over twice a week then 3 times etc. See how you feeling. Your son knows you love him. No reason to rush things. Take it one step at a time
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Talk to therapist about this
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No you shouldn’t. You aren’t mentally ready for the responsibility.
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No he should not come live with u full time however tell father call u and watch him vs being alone
I believe you should talk to his father about having more nights over, to warm you up to spending more nights and days with him in your space. Congratulations as well for doing so good and turning your life around for you!
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The thing is that struggling with mental illness and taking this on before you’re ready will ultimately leave him feeling alone while with you. Unintentionally. It’s wonderful that you’re concerned, and you obviously love him very much because you want the best for him. Definitely talk to your therapist about these feelings.
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Maybe goes for more over nights at your house but not full time? Can you do Friday to Sundays? Start small?
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I think you should wait until you’re 110% ready. A parents mental health effects their children in a ton of different ways. If you’re spending as much time as it says with him then he’s not always alone.
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You sound like an amazingly caring and aware parent. Use your resources to help evaluate whether your supports, including meds, are enough to manage your mental illness at this time. As I saw in an earlier post, perhaps 50/50 would be more reasonable. Also, preplanning special holidays with your husband might help, too, even if you don’t tale your son more often on a regular basis. From one who has been in a very similar situation to another, I wish you well.
You answered your own question. You are not ready to take him back full time. It take a good person to admit that they mentaly are not ready to take a child full time. Keep going forward and ease into more time slowly until you know you can handle it mentaly.
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I just want to say I think it’s amazing how much you have overcome. It’s not easy being a mom and going through things with our mental health. It’s a very difficult balance. You have taken care of your mental health and even though it’s a daily struggle you’re fighting it right back momma. Good for you and your son has an amazing mom who loves and cares for him completely. One step and one day at a time.
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I don’t think from reading your post that you are ready to have him live with you full time, and it actually sounds like you know mentally your not ready for that… I would say talk with the dad…and the other adults about your concerns. …and see if you all can work something out between you… maybe if it’s a holiday and his dad has to work. Maybe you could switch days and have him come over then… etc…and maybe he is not completely alone as much as you think he is…talk to your therapist etc… ask them what is the best way for you to deal with your concerns and feelings on the issue…but don’t try jumping in the frying pan…when you already know your gonna get cooked… that would be devastating for your son as well…and yourself…keep taking care of yourself so your son is able to come over and be a part of your life…but also don’t assume that because he wants every moment of your attention…that he is always alone…even when children live with you…you still have to be a responsible adult and do things besides just play with them every min…best wishes…to you all
Please leave his living arrangements & schedule as is. Maybe have a conversation with his dad & start with spending a little more time with him. Alternate holidays.
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If you have anxiety around him, then you shouldn’t fight for full-time custody. Speak with your psychologist/psychiatrist further. They’d be the best people to evaluate you and give the best advice since they are treating you. Just try to be there as much as you can/are allowed and give him all your love and attention.
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No! Just ask for more time with him. Be available to be there for him when his father works but I wouldn’t go for custody.
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I’d say just stay the way you are now because if you have a child full time and your anxiety is already kicking up when he’s around, rather than putting him through that all over again just leave things the way they are.
Or if you wanted to see about having him during the days or times his dad works and then him going back to his dad’s after he gets out.
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You answered your own question. You don’t know if your ready yet! You already mention your anxiety being up
So no not yet focus on yourself. Ask to have him get full weekend and more time during the summer. Ease back into it
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Bring him home,and attend counceling stay positive. Best wishes
Maybe instead of jumping into him living with you full time. Try fridays and Saturdays over nights. Then possibly try when he has a long weekend cause of a school break. Try easing into it
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Don’t take him back full time yet .start slowly .you said the time you have him now causes anxiety so keep it the way it is .when your anxiety is not as bad than take him more .work into it slowly so that you are more comfortable mentally
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I would suggest waiting until you are completely ready and in the mean time just increase the time little by little if possible
No you need to be sure you are ready
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If you’re questioning it, I’d leave it be. Go spend more time with him at his father’s home. Don’t take on more than you can handle. There is more than just your safety and mental state at risk.
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I would say have more communication with the father. If he isn’t going to be there on certain days, request that you get to be with him and spend extra time. I applaud you for your turn around and acknowledged that you’re not fully ready. Having kids full time is stressful, I have 3 and am a single mother. It ls HARD! Keep with therapy, and try scheduling more time to be there with him. You never know what the future will hold, but I promise you it’s something your son will never forget. Keep on pushing forward, and I wish you nothing but strength for the future. You’re doing a great job!!
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Family law lawyer here – Call around in your county to see if you can speak to a lawyer (for a free consultation which for example, our firm does) just to get some information so that you can make the most informed decision as possible
Your son is awesome for being able to pass the time by himself Leave him with his dad don’t draw attention to yourself by trying to keep him
Oh mama, you have been through a lot and have fought through so much. Coming from a mom with mental health (panic disorder, severe depression, anxiety disorder, and C-PTSD) it sounds like you may not be ready, but this is definitely something you should talk with your psychiatrist or therapist about. Determining what exactly gives you anxiety when he is with you is the key to knowing if you are ready to take him. Maybe keep him for a while weekend or something and see how you do, how you feel, etc.
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If you don’t know if you are ready than you are not. Breathe and keep getting better
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Start off small and then keep going. remember this is what’s best for your child. If the dad is decent then just try to eventually go for joint custody.
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Maybe just start trying to have him more and more little by little. Increase your days. And work on your anxiety. Because as much as it may be better for him it wknt if you cant handle it long run.
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No you need to wait until you are ready. While it’s not ideal… It’s not life or death unfortunately that he sit there. Proud of you for getting help. 
I would leave it how it is and just spend more time with him and see how it goes maybe instead of just Friday and him for the weekend?
My heart goes out to you and what a wonderful job you’ve done by seeking and continuing help, as well as being able to identify that there is some work yet to be done. You are incredible! Given the info above, I feel like I would say to you what I would say to a daughter or a friend. (Without knowing details about the state laws and your specific arrangements) Take it slow, is his father working with you and co parenting in a positive way? Maybe you both could sit down and figure out what would work to get started slowly, considering holidays as well. Taking into consideration his work schedule and what your schedule is. I wish you and your family the very best, keep up the hard work! I advocate for mental health patients, families, and try to share what I know with others. I went 4 years and 4 months undiagnosed post partum depression that progressively went into a very bad depression. I have learned so much in the 21 years since my diagnosis and most importantly I always share the things that held me back because no one ever noticed something was wrong with me. It does not define you, it’s chemicals and the wiring so to speak in our brains which we can’t simply blink and it goes away. Being diagnosed isn’t a character flaw, and much more. I was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety in Dec. '04 after a young child ran out in front of my truck and I hit him. By the grace of God his injuries were very minor and his family was so caring and did not treat me badly as we feared they might. I’m glad I found a physician who saw what was going on and helped me. You feel free to message me anytime if you want or need someone to talk to. I’ve been in several very deep, dark places and called the crises line b/c my husband was serving in the Navy and my kids were little, I had nowhere to turn. Always know that you are never alone! If I don’t reply immediately, I will as soon as I can. I am currently taking care of my elderly mama, but she’s at the skilled nursing facility for 2 weeks right now.
Why can’t you just have him a couple times a week. Or just visiting throughout the day and times his father works?
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I’d work your way up to longer visits. Don’t jump into it head first. And i would definitely wait until this school year is over. You don’t want to disrupt his schooling. Take your time and attend counseling sessions regularly. And then approach the idea with your counselor. Proud of you for keeping his needs above your own. But just be patient and follow your counselor’s directions on this. Your childs mental health is a stake as well as your own. Good luck 
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If you’re not completely 100% ready, then don’t do that to him. I would increase the time you’re spending with him and see how that goes.
Make certainbefoe seems like your doing
It takes a really long time to recover from coming home from a hospital like that.
If you read this, (or anyone that needs to talk)
Please message me
I haven’t been in your exact shoes but I have been in similar ones.
It sounds like you are doing a great job doing what you are supposed to be doing.
Keep following your plan the hospital made for you and what your therapist says
I hope you have a GOOD therapist.
If you aren’t I encourage you to research for one that will work for you.
I never believed therapy worked until I finally found the right guy.
Until such time as you get your anxiety under control, you should ONLY keep thinking about it for a future date.
I would talk with his father and maybe see about more time first make sure u can handle it, pick up an extra day a week, and on holidays that dad works have dad tell u so u can pick him up so he isn’t alone on holidays.
It sounds like you aren’t ready yet to have him come back with you full time. I would leave things how they are and work on yourself for now. Maybe you can spend more time with him so he isn’t alone as much.
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If you live close, maybe can set up a schedule that works for both of you, are you able to get him to school or pick him up, if so maybe can have him a few hours during the week as well as an overnight on weekends, I would say take it slow, talk to your psychologist so you can get a handle on your anxiety, 7 year olds are a handful in the best of situations, lol, this way you can slowly transition into having your son more often, if everything is good after a month or so, then maybe consider joint custody, wishing you and your son the very best 
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Pray and seek spiritual guidance. God will help you through it.
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I would talk to his father about maybe taking him more on days that work for both of you so he gets more time but also so you don’t overdo it. If it is getting exhausting to you now it will be more so later if you pursue this full time. Find a happy middle ground.
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You don’t sound ready to take him back. You have to be entirely certain before even thinking about taking the chance
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