For the love of all that is holy…y’all need to learn to communicate with your partners cuz it will NEVER last if you can’t simply talk to them about an issue you’re feeling in the relationship 
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Doesn’t mean that he doesn’t
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Yeah you’re wasting your time. I would’ve left 3 years ago
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Actions matter rather than words
Have you told him? If not then he’s probably thinking the same thing…
If you have then leave your wasting your time 
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If you know he does does he have to say it? My mother never once said " I love you" she couldn’t, wasn’t raised like that either, not a hug you type either, but I know she did , you never know the reasons behind it.
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After 4 years…yeah that’s a problem.
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Ask him why he hasn’t told you. 🤷
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Some people never say I love you I think it just depends on how important hearing those words is to you. If he shows it and you’re happy then it’s not a big deal
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Words mean nothing. Actions mean everything.
If he shows you he loves you…does he really need to say it
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That depends: have you expressed your need for verbal validation of his feelings toward you? Do you know what yall’s love languages are and have you discussed that with him?
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The words i love you are stupid. People can say it 100 times a day and never mean it. If he shows you and he’s doing right by you. Don’t stress it
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Hmm that’s a long time. Up to you, I’m happy mine says it a fair bit, first partner to be like it and it’s great 
I have been married for 36 great years I can count on both hands how many times I have told my wife I love her the thing is I don’t have to because she knows it otherwise we wouldn’t have been together for so long
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If it is just the words…its not a big deal…but if you don’t do anything together other than play house…and if there is no affection from him…it is a problem. If there are no words…there needs to be some action.
Have you had a conversation about it?
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Read the Five Love Languages together and take the test. You may find you speak different languages. He’s probably told you many times, in his own way.
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I am 39 years old and my dad has never once said I love you to me.
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OK he might not have said it but does he show it? Actions speak louder than words he loves you just doesn’t know how to express it
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Why u asking us u know the answer
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Girl bye! Why are you still with him.
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Don’t walk. Hell RUN
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Shoulda did that 4 years ago lol how u gonna leave now after him doin it 4 years if u wanna leave just leave but dont try makin excuses to leave as this excuse is dumb. He never said it so now 4 yrs later he still dont say it u wanna leave ur boyfriend 🤦
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Words mean nothing. It’s the actions that matter. It is nice to hear though for sure. But as long as he’s good to you and shows you he loves you, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
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Holy crap. Why haven’t you talked to him?
Run girl Run
The faster the better!!
If you’ve been together for 4 years happily, I’m sure that he loves you. Some people don’t grow up hearing love expressed openly…making it hard for them to do so as adults. Depending on how he grew up it most likely has nothing to do with you and everything to do with protecting/guarding himself. Have you had a discussion about this? Have you let him know that you’d like to hear it …even if it’s only occasionally?
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My husband tells me he loves me every time he hangs up the phone. We’ve been together almost 7 years. I asked him when we first started dating why. He told me that one day something could happen to you or I and at least those last words of the conversation would be “I love you”. Now that we have children our last words to them before they go to school or somewhere else is " I love you". Life is way too short to not tell each other you love one another.
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But does he show you he loves you… many ways to say it besides saying it…
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I’m only a part of this group to see the ridiculous bitchy comments made by some of these people. Obviously some of yall havent heard to keep your mouth shut if you don’t have anything nice to say. I’m sure OP has bashed herself enough wondering why her significant other can’t say three simple words. The best person to discuss it with is him love! I hope things get better for you.
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They are just words.
People can stay them and not mean it.
How does he treat you?
Does he respect you?
Does he listen to you?
Does he support your dreams?
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Could be from upbringing or personal traumas he doesn’t share. I’d suggest talking to him, if you have to no avail then therapy, but measure out the things he does say or do first regarding ways he shows you.
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Those are just words. Does he show you that he loves you? I mean, my husband tells me he loves me all the time, but if he never said those words, I would still know that he loves me because he proves it and shows it daily. How many men have told you that they love you and then shown you that they don’t?!
If he has never said it, it is because he doesn’t feel it. It is simple.
Actions speak louder than words. Do you feel loved? Does he show you daily that he does love you? If not then yes you walk. But if he does then stay. Some men just can’t use the words.
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Does he show you he loves you? Does he do things for you? Maybe he’s more non verbal about his feelings
Does he show you love though? just cause he don’t say it don’t mean he don’t love you? Does he treat you good? Why would you just leave cause he hasn’t said that yet?
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Could have been raised to never hearing that. Talk to him.
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Some people don’t say I love you some don’t do to trauma etc. Does he act like he loves you does he make you feel like he loves you. Then that’s what matters.
Some people are not comfortable saying those words. Actiins speak far louder than words. Stop worrying about words.
Tell him you love him…is there a reason you don’t say it?
Have you talked about it? If not I’d recommend starting there. It’s possible he’s had trauma that makes it difficult for him to express love; he may not even be aware of it. Therapy is an option. If you’re in love and committed I would explore those options before leaving.
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We rarely say it, but we show it all the time. It’s just words. Their actions should show you how they feel.
I can’t imagine why you even call him your boyfriend
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After 4 yrs I would have a discussion of where your relationship is heading. Yes he may be the type that can’t express it but you need to know if there is even a future. Does he want to marry you? Does he want a family with you? You need some kind of closure of knowing his feelings. Otherwise you’ll feel your in a one sided loveless relationship. Communication is key to a good relationship. I only assume not hearing it hurts you (at least it’d hurt me). You can’t live like that in pain not knowing how he feels.
I knew a girl several years ago who dated a man for 6 six years and he had never said I love you to her. She got pregnant and he married her. Not sure how their story ended as we lost touch BUT I’ll never forget what she told me that day. “He has never once told me he loved me, but his actions tell me everyday.”
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My husband tells me a million times a day he loves me and also shows me. It’s nice to hear the words sometimes. Before we got married or even in a relationship he asked me a hundred times to marry him….lol he was in a bad marriage that traumatized him and his kids.
Omg seriously tho? Are these post for real
He may not love you, then. Lots of people are saying 'I love you" in relationships without meaning it. I’d rather have this than it being said just to be said.
Ok but if your love language is words, then you deserve to hear it, all these people “does he show it?” What if that’s not her love language?
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i have been married to my new husband 24 years and has never said I LOVE YOU because his first marriage was a living hell
But does he show it??? If so… Then there shouldn’t be a problem… Actions speak louder than words
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Do you feel loved? Does he treat you well? Some people grew up in a household where, “I love you” wasn’t tossed around much or it could be the exact opposite, it was tossed around so much that it lost its meaning. There is so much that goes into “love” that if you are thinking about walking away just because he hasn’t said them specifically, then you probably have a lot of soul searching to do.
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My husband grew up in a very loving family but they never said “I love you”
He grew up believing that you only say those words to the person you’re married to or dating. Like you could only love one person- your life partner.
He had a hard time telling our children “I love you” because that’s just not how he was raised.
It’s taken him some time but he does tell them more frequently now than he used to but he shows his love daily.
He thinks my family is odd because we all say it. Including my brother.
My dad was also raised the same way so I don’t remember him telling me that he loved me until I was a teenager. He’d always say “Yeah, me too” but now he says it back or says it first and even says it to his grand babies.
It’s took a while to teach both of them the importance of saying it but they’ve always shown it.
Just talk to him to see what his thoughts and feelings are on the words? Or observe how his family acts or if they say it.
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What do their actions tell you?
That is what should matter, the words are blown away by the wind and what is said is not always true but the facts do not lie.
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My husband and I rarely say ‘I love you’ to each other. We show it… we say ‘I love you’ more to our children. But we have been together for 12 (come January) and he forgets everything and I’ve had horrible mom brain after this 2nd pregnancy. I feel as though it should be said every so often, but as long as his actions show it, I wouldn’t worry about it if it isn’t said daily.
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4 years? Time to go!!
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Boy bye, not worth your time or energy. My husband and I weren’t even together for a month before we both said it
I would have a talk about where the relationship is going. Sometimes it’s more about showing it. Sometimes hes getting the milk for free
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These posts are absolutely ridiculous. Why even post this nonsense
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It’s nice to hear it, but people also say it without words. Take a step back and reevaluate.
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Why not though? Does his actions show that he does? Has he been through some type of trauma or just grew up with a family that wasn’t affectionate or showed emotions? My dad was like that. He never said it but I knew he loved me from his actions as a father.
Throw him away, trash runs on Tuesday
You’re just now questioning this?! Girlfriend, what?!!!
I came from parents who say I love you and kiss on the cheek daily.
But my fiancé comes from parents who weren’t as frequent in saying I love you. They actually divorced soon after we got together.
He definitely wasn’t use to saying it after every phone call, or every time leaving the house like I was.
After seeing my parents and knowing what I experienced growing up he understands my importance of the words. It didn’t take long though. I mean he technically said he loved me the day he asked me out (we knew each other through friends in school prior) lol - but saying I love you 10 plus times a day was a stretch at first.
We’ve been together for 10 years in December. He purposed 3 years ago. Moved in together 2years ago. Just not married yet and no kids. - some couples may just do things out of order. Have you asked him his feelings and experiences on the words “I love you”? How often do you say it? Does he say a different term back?
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Actions speak louder then words, my fiance says he love me but i dont always say it to him due to my past and i struggle saying it. Yes i do love him and he knows i do, i have said it but not very often so my suggestion is before asking for help, just have that conversation with him to ask if theres a reason he hasnt said he loves you after 4 years. U might get a proper answer instead of all of our opinions on what u should and shouldnt do. You could potentially leave a relationship then later regret it when u find out he does actually love you
I told my fiance I love him and he said I know. That’s all I needed. He knows I love him and I think he loves me. Since we are getting married and all lol
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Showing you love someone is better than saying it. My husband says it but shows it more. He tells our daughter he loves her daily & tells me it too.
Never?? Do you tell him you love him? What is his reaction?
He hasn’t said it… Ok
Does he show it?
If you don’t feel loved, that’s an issue.
My husband says it all the time in a weird way but he really tries to show me. That’s the difference.
And this is why communication is so important. I’d be talking to him instead of asking strangers what I should do with my relationship. Ask him if he loves you. If he says yes, then express how important it is for you to hear it from him. If he’s unsure or says no, then you already know what to do.
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I tell my man 5000000 times a day I love him. I’m sure he’s sick of me but you bet your sweet ass he says it back every time.
He doesn’t love you then lmfao men know on average within the first 3 months. If it’s been 4 years LEAVE.
My fiancé doesn’t say it all the time once in awhile he does but his ACTIONS prove to me that he loves me last night he brought me home a forever flower snowglobe and I adore it, yes it’s nice to hear but actions prove it daily I tell him every morning when he leaves for work
I would talk to him. I’ve had a good bit of trauma in my life and it’s VERY hard to say I love you. It could be the same for them. How are his action? Is he showing that he cares for you? Is there distance between yall?
That’s a no for me. Lol everyone’s different in relationships but I’d like to hear it.
I would not feel comfortable with or like that!
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Why has this gone on this long?!
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If he shows no signs of it then leave. Remember that some people “cannot cleave their heart into their mouth” and just can’t express it verbally. Actions are better than words.
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Does he show it? If so, why bother? Actions speak WAY louder than words. Everybody says it on their own pace. Never understood why women put a time schedule to everything.
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Actions speak louder than words. Do you feel loved? If so the words aren’t as important.
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Nahh wait another 4 years…
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That’s beyond strange !
Words, that’s all they are. If he treats you good and shows you affection, he’s still saying l love you.
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Have you ever said it ? Maybe he is waiting for you to say it first because he’s had bad experiences with saying it first
Some people are different and they don’t know how to express their feelings. Some are scared to say those words. Because they think it will change their relationship which it will. But the real question is… Do you believe he loves you? Do you feel loved by him? It’s been 4 years and it seems like you are questioning those things. With that being said if you really need to hear it ask him straight out do you love me? Are you in love with me? And if you can’t answer say okay this changes things and go from there.
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With that true how the hell do you know whether he’s your boyfriend or not
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If you cannot express yourself how can you get into a relationship to begin with
Does he show it? I don’t see how you’ve made it to 4 years like this if that has been an issue for you.
Have you talked to him and asked if he loves you?
If not Walk , Life is too short
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Ask ur boyfriend not fb…
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Wow…4yrs wasted. Sorry hunny but I’d have bounced a LONG time ago.
Not trying to be rude but, why do you make a simple decision so complicated? Bottom line if you don’t feel like you’re being loved the right way then go. There’s too many people in this world to spend time with 1 person wondering if they love you the way you want to be loved. 
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I was with my ex for 4 years. Not once did either of us say I love you to the other. But that is because I am pretty sure neither of us had love for the other.
But then my current spouse, I could have said it within the first month together.
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He’s not your boyfriend. Now you know.
How does he treat u… dat is what u should tell us. Cuz if he treats u good but doesn’t say it n ur thinking of leaving then plz do let him find the right one…
Really …
Maybe he wasn’t raised in a very emotional family that don’t say it alot
You shouldn’t walk away. You should run.
Okay, few questions… How is your relationship otherwise (minus the L word), Do you tell him you love him? If so what is his reply? (Getting swayze vibes remember in Ghost he never told Demi he loved her either he always said Ditto) Are you happy in all other factors? Does he feel like the one? Obviously you are having doubts that i agree with another commentor, you shouldn’t be coming to the book with…You really REALLY need to sit down and chat with the BF
Not once the whole 4 years? Nah that’s weird as hell.
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